I AM a Triathlete!

It is done!

After months of work losing weight, learning how to jog (then run), and practicing my biking, swimming AND running, I have finally done it!

I have become a Triathlete!

On Sunday morning, September 30, I arrived bright and early at the Cape Elizabeth (CELT) Challenge triathlon venue. It was 6 a.m., and as I rolled my bike up to the registration table to pick up my packet, I nervously saw I was the first one there! It was ridiculously dark--the sun wasn't even up yet--but I wanted to be sure that I had plenty of time to get myself set up, since it was my first triathlon.

Next time, I'll opt for an extra hour in the sack. Watching the sun rise was pretty, but it wasn't THAT pretty. And it was COLD out! I was hoping for a cool day because I don't like running in hot temperatures, but this was ridiculous.

Anyway, being there that early meant that meant I had my choice of place to rack my bike over at the transition area. I chose a spot near the entry/exit for the bike leg, right by a light pole in a grassy area so it would be easy to find and run to. Everything I had read said to be sure to find a spot that's easy to locate when you are in the middle of the race, but given the size of the field of competitors (just over 130), I needn't have worried.

Some time later, as more people started to arrive, I went to get "body-marked", where they write your race number and age on your body in permanent marker.

My race number (left) and age (right)

Then it was time for an interminable wait for my "wave" in the swim race to begin--after 9:00 a.m. I had over two hours to wait from the time I was bodymarked until I hit the water. During that time, I ate a snack (peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a banana), listened to my iPod, and finally stripped down to my swimsuit and went to sit out the hour-plus wait in the pool area itself.

Did I mention it was REALLY COLD that morning? I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and long Adidas pants, and still I was cold! Yet I had to strip to my swimsuit and run inside to wait, because I didn't want to be juggling clothes at the pool! I had intended to bike and run in shorts and a tank top, but rethought it after freezing all morning, and so I set up my pants and long-sleeved TRI shirt so they would be ready to go, just in case.

I got lucky in that I saw Erin, a teacher friend that I used to work with, and we spent some time chatting and catching up on everyone at school. It was nice to see a friend, and to be able to hear how things are going in the teaching world. Teaching 8th grade science was fun, but I prefer being home with the baby right now.

Anyway, pretty soon Kent showed up with Kara and Maddy, and so they were there as my wave was called "on deck", ready to go.

Me (center, blue and yellow suit), waiting for my wave to start

Pretty soon, we were told to get in the water, and the countdown began to start my 425 yard swim. It was not a chip-timed event, which means I didn't wear a timing chip that would record my actual start, transitions, and time in each leg of the race. We all got started at the same time by a common clock, and then the transition times were noted as we ran past volunteers. In retrospect, I'm sad about this, because the transitions in and out of the bike and run were added to the bike portion, which means there's no way to find out exactly how long I took in each transition.

ANYWAY, so I was in the water, my goggles were defogged and on, and my timer watch was ready to go. They counted down and we were off!

Immediately, my right goggle filled with water, and I was forced to swim one-eyed across the pool. After the first length, I stopped, fixed my goggle, and headed back for length two of 17 total. I felt totally "discombobulated" from the goggle fiasco, and suddenly I realized I forgot to start my timer! At the end of length two, I stopped, hit what I thought was the start button, and went out for length three. Partway through I realized that I probably hit "reset" instead of start, and sure enough, I had. So at the end of length four, I finally hit the start button.

By this time, I was so out-of-sorts that I ended up out of sync. It wasn't good. I felt like I was flopping around; I couldn't settle down. My pace was off--normally I can swim 17 lengths in 11.5 minutes, but I was clearly going too fast and my breathing was erratic. I can normally take four strokes and breathe, but this time I was doing two strokes-breathe-two strokes-breathe, which is the wrong pace for me. I get out of breath doing that, oddly enough.

Me (center) swimming as hard as I could!

Halfway through I was forced to take a one-length breaststroke swim, because I was just too tired. I slogged along, and eventually I managed to get out of the pool--dead last in my heat, which was the 10-12 minute heat. I got a big cheer (I heard Erin above the crowd), and they started the next heat almost exactly as I got out!

Next time, I'm going to OVER-estimate my swim time! I talked to another competitor later, and she and I both felt like we were swimming as fast as we could, but we were both dead last in a field of people who were swimming 2-4 minutes faster than we were in our heat!!

Anyway, I got out, walked to grab my towel (it was slippery), then ran out of the building into the cold, cold morning air. OH MY GOSH. It was awful! I sprinted across the parking lot (miraculously missing any little pebbles or debris--it must've been swept), and they noted my time as I entered transition. My time was 11 and a half minutes, which means I swam faster than my usual pace, despite the problems!

At transition, I realized the cold wasn't as bad as it had been an hour and a half ago, so I opted for shorts after all, but I did put on my long-sleeved shirt, because I was heading for the bike part and though the wind on my cold, wet torso might be a bit much.

At transition, putting my shoes on and laughing as Kent takes my picture

I got my helmet on, put on the black "race belt" that had my race number (27) affixed to it...
...added my biking gloves, ate a few Clif Shot Bloks (salty margarita--yeah, I'm hooked after the half marathon I ran), drank some water, and pulled my bike off the rack. I ran my bike to the mount/dismount line, mounted up, and was OFF on the 14 mile bike ride!

Immediately, there was a hill. Did I mention that this was reputed to be a "relatively flat" course? Whoever decided on that was clearly out of their minds! There were rolling hills, long uphills, and some nice long downhills that were payoff for the harder parts. It was a good ride. It was a double loop, where I had a small inner loop before the bigger outer one. I was glad I had my water bottle full of Gatorade--I needed it.

During the bike portion, I was passed repeatedly by people on those beautiful aerodynamic TRI bikes with the aerobars (the $5000 bikes, oh my), and I actually passed two people--though in retrospect, I now think they weren't part of the race!

Every time someone passed me, I yelled, "Good morning!" and "Looking great!" They all yelled encouraging things back--and that was the theme of the race. EVERY person who passed me, in the same or opposite direction, yelled something positive. EVERY TIME. It was such a great experience! One lady who passed me on the bike was very supportive--she said, "You're doing great, and oh my gosh, you're doing it on a mountain bike!" (That's like racing a bunch of lamborghinis when you're driving a Jeep.) I yelled back, "Thanks, it's all I had, we make do!"

There was one point I was glad of the mountain bike--one part of the road was really trashed, it was broken up and had weird dips in it. The race official yelled, "Be careful of the road--oh but you're on a good mountain bike, you'll be fine!" It was the one time I was glad I had my bike. It's not fast, but it's sturdy.

Halfway through the race, I heard some beeping and looked back--it was Kent and the girls, in the Honda! He passed me by, and a bit later I saw him on the side of the road, where he'd pulled over to take pictures and videotape me! I waved as I went by, and continued on.

Halfway through the bike course

A bit down the road, I heard a noise and looked back--Kent was pacing me, driving right behind me as I rode! I was coming to the next turn, and as a race volunteer waved me around, I yelled, "Don't mind my stalker back there--it's just my husband and my daughters!" He laughed!

Once back at the school, I shifted my feet on the pedals so I was pedaling more on my heels, and spun the pedals at a "high cadence" to loosen up my leg muscles for the run. That was a bit hard, coming down that same hill I had to bike up on my way out. I was so excited to be done with the bike, though, I grinned all the way in!

Coming in to transition (FYI, Beth Rand was the race photographer)

I pulled up to the mount/dismount line and stopped, and the race official pronounced me "perfect!" (Not sure why, but I'll take it.) I ran the bike in, whipped off my long-sleeved shirt, tossed on my tank top, ate a few more Shot Bloks, and took off, putting my race belt back on as I ran. I had a bit of the "jelly legs" syndrome, but within a minute or so, my legs were fine.

Starting out on the cross-country run

The run was a cross-country 3-mile run through the woods and over roots, across mud puddles and up and down hills. I thought I was going so slow! I felt like I was almost moving backwards! Yet the encouragement kept on coming. "You're almost there!" and "Looking strong!" and "Keep it up!" and "You're doing great!" It was so cool.

I ran on and on...finally I hit the one-mile mark, got a cup of water, and took off again. Very shortly thereafter I hit the 1 1/2 mile mark, where we literally had to run around a pylon and head back. Partway across what looked like a salt marsh (I was too busy running to really look closely at it) there was a wooden walkway and, in the middle of that, a little wooden bridge. On the bridge railings were about seven teenagers, and they were busy cheering literally everyone who went by. When I went by the first time, they cheered me. On my way back, I told them THANK you because I could hear them through the woods, and it kept me oriented! They thought that was neat, and yelled even louder!

Back through the woods, then up the last hill I went. One very fit, very tall man passed me, and all the way up that last hill he kept yelling for me, "Come on, you're almost there, you can do it! Go! Go! Go!" I had to laugh, he was so exuberant!

Yelling HI to Kent, Maddy and Karalyn...

...as I sprinted in to the finish!

I made it up the hill, rounded the corner, and sprinted for the finish. As I crossed the line, I whooped and yelled, "Oh my God, I can't believe I actually did it!" The people at the finish cheered for me, and Kent and the girls were there right away. Maddy took this rather unflattering picture...

...and I got lots of hugs!

My goal was to finish in less than two hours. I made my goal, finishing in 1 hour, 46 minutes and 43.6 seconds. My breakdowns were as follows:

• 425 yard Swim (plus run to the transition area): 11 minutes, 31.3 seconds (fastest I've ever done)
• 14 mile Bike (plus transition time after swim, before run): 1 hr., 2 min and 4.9 seconds
• 3 mile (5K) Run: 33 min, 7.5 seconds--an 11 minute mile pace
  

I was really proud of myself, and for the rest of the day I kept occasionally grinning and saying, "I ran a triathlon! Hee hee!"

Afterwards, Kent took Kara and Maddy to the book store for a book and a snack, and I took advantage of the post-race barbecue to get something to eat. The rest of the day we spent out at the Fryeburg Fair, in Fryeburg Maine. We realized that, since I got Sunday off for the triathlon, this would be our best chance to go--every other weekend I'd be working. We were there until about 7, and had a great time.

Now that I've finished my first triathlon, I'm eager to do it again. I want to see if I can improve on my time, and I would like to redo that swim--I'm not happy with how it went. I also thought the organization was OK, but not superb, for this race, and would like to try the Kennebunk FireMan Sprint in August, which is the same distance. The only drawback that I can see is that it includes an ocean swim. I don't care about the ocean part--I've swum oceans many times. I just don't like the COLD that forces you to wear a wetsuit. That part I'm not looking forward to, although apparently I can rent a wetsuit.

I think I'd also like to do an Olympic distance. That's twice the distance, with a swim of 1.5K, 40K bike, and 10K run. There is one in Auburn, California, just in the foothills above Sacramento, where we used to live. I'd like to do that one. It's in May of 2008, so it'd be just after my 42nd birthday, and a nice way to celebrate.

Overall, I'm pleased with how I've trained, although I am disappointed with my swim. I know I could do better, but considering I practiced only about six times (two in a pool of the proper length), I think I did fine. The bike I was disappointed with only because the mountain bike is hardly a speed demon; I wish I could try it on a TriBike with aerobars and see how much faster I could go. Hard as I trained, and often as I trained, no matter how long or short the ride (as long as 25 miles, as short as 5), I could never go much faster than 15 miles per hour.

I am most proud of the running. I have come a long, long way from my old 20-minute-mile walk pace. Being able to run more than 30 seconds seemed like such a long shot, but that was only six months ago. Now I can run ten miles straight without stopping, and I can even enter races. I may not finish fast, but I finish, and so far, I'm never last!

At this point, I just have some small 5K races to run. As of the writing of this blog, I've already done one of them. I'll write about that another day. For now, I'm starting to shift into running-only mode, practicing to keep my fitness level and to maybe improve my speed over the winter. Eventually I'll start training for a tri again, but for now, I am just focusing on my family, working at the bookstore, and trying to adjust to being up until past midnight four nights a week for my job.

Just wait, though. I've done one triathlon; I am a triathlete. I don't want this to be a one-off deal.

I will be back!

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy


____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

On Becoming an Athlete

"Act like the person you want to be." --M.J. Ryan
 
Never in my life have I considered myself an athletic person. Sure, I would ride bikes, swim, skate and skateboard, and even scuba dive--but I never considered myself an athlete. To me, athletes are those people who have something like 0.2% body fat, can run a marathon in fifteen minutes, swim the English Channel on a lazy Saturday, and score perfect 10s in the Olympics.

Nope. Definitely not an athlete here.

But as the CELT Challenge Triathlon looms large in my future--just 8 days away now--I am faced with the very real notion that, when it is over, I will be considered a triathlete.

Me? Not even an athlete, but a triathlete?? That's like lumping me in with those 0.2% bodyfat Olympians that I previously mentioned!

But yet it's coming. And after the past week and months of training, I know that I'm ready.

The past couple days have been tough, though. Baby Kara has been waking up every hour or so starting just after midnight, and spending at least an hour awake between 3-4 in the morning. She cries for her "woobie" (pacifier), she gets up onto her knees, she crawls around, she stands. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she just babbles, but always, she's awake and naturally that wakes us up, too.

It has made it tough for me to be motivated to go out and move. Just last Tuesday, after a particularly trying morning when she was awake from 3 am to 6 am, I finally gave up at 6 (after four hours of sleep) and let Kent take care of her while I went to the club. I did strength training only and then came home because Kent needed to go to work.

I decided that, since I was already dressed for exercise, I would go out and do some running. When I got home, however, Kara had fallen asleep. Figures! She was out until almost 9 am.

Finally, though, I strapped her into her jogging stroller--this time with the fleece liner in, as it was fairly cool out--and took off on my run.

I decided to run to Maddy's school and back; that's 5.2 miles in all. My best distance was 4 miles at ths point, so I thought 5.2 miles was a good test.

Little did I know that, despite the lack of sleep, I certainly had my athlete hat on that day. I made the 5.2 miles and still felt fresh! I wasn't moving super fast--it was about a 12.5 minute mile pace--but I felt like I could run forever. So I passed the house on my return trip and kept going the opposite direction.

Finally, after a while, I decided the baby had been out long enough. We'd been gone for an hour and 25 minutes, and I had run the entire time. I never stopped or walked. And later, when I retraced the route in my car, I found that I had run 6.8 miles.

6.8 miles?? That's the kind of distance that marathoners do! I was completely flabbergasted.

And then I realized that, what I had done (despite being exhausted) was to put into place one of my favorite quotes, from M.J. Ryan, which is at the top of this blog:

"Act like the person you want to be."

I was lying in bed, feeling tired and miserable, and though to myself, what would I do if I were an athlete, or someone who was seriously training for a big triathlon?

I'd shake the tiredness off and just go do it. So I did.

And what a result! 6.8 miles.

Doing that run, for the first time, made me feel like an athlete. I felt like a runner, not a jogger. I realized that I had the stamina to do the kind of run that "real" runners do.

And it got me excited. If I could run almost 7 miles, then what else could I do?

That morning, I decided on my big goal for 2008:

I am going to run the Honolulu Marathon in December.

Later that momentous 6.8 mile day, I told Kent my plan. He immediately started talking about logistics (would we all go or just me, where would we stay, etc.), which pleased me to no end. He didn't say no, he didn't pooh-pooh the idea, he didn't tell me I couldn't do it. He simply started to plan ahead to 15 months from now when I line up with God knows how many other people for a 26.2 mile run around Oahu.

Maybe I'm nuts. That's a big goal, and 15 months from now I might even be living in Europe (if Kent or I get a job teaching overseas, as we are thinking of doing). But I have my goal now for the winter. Rather than maintaining my fitness, I'm going to learn how to run long-distance. I am going to become a marathoner.

I can do this.

After all, in 8 days, I'll already be a triathlete!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Laughter: The Great Tranquilizer

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. --Arnold Glasow
_______________________________________________________________
This past Sunday, I was having a bad day.

I have been a stay-at-home Mommy for over a year now, but for the first year we were living off of money that we had put away in advance. However, over the summer, we finally finished off those funds, and it was time to find a job, once I decided not to return to teaching. Being a Mommy to my baby girl is not something I'll ever be able to do again, so my husband encouraged me to leap at the chance while I could. Actually, what he said was, "Leap, and the net will appear," which is one of his favorite sayings.

Anyway, it took me a while, but I finally landed a job in one of my favorite book stores. I am currently undergoing training, but that didn't start until after the first of September--which means the end of the month is going to leave me a little short for my mortgage. That has been stressing me out, needless to say.

Do you want to know any of this? Probably not. But we've all been there--short on funds and not sure exactly what we're going to do next. Even if relief is just ahead, life often throws just one last hurdle in your path, and that hurdle may seem insurmountable.

So this is the mood I was in: tired (because the baby keeps waking up in the middle of the night), irritable (because I was stressed), annoyed (because I wanted to run but I didn't), and frustrated (because I hadn't been exercising daily as I planned, and I was losing motivation). Toss in a tiny pinch of despair over finances, and you pretty much have me last Sunday.

Kent told me to go ahead and go for my run, but I just couldn't get my act together. I didn't want to run--I was afraid that if I started, I'd find I couldn't run for some reason, and the next thing I'd know, I'd have lost my belief in myself.

So I waffled.

Finally, I decided that I would ride my bike instead. That seemed like a good compromise--I would get out, do some exercising, but I KNOW I can ride my bike because I've been doing it for so long. I've been a runner for such a short time, I am still not used to being able to run four miles.

So I put on my helmet and gloves, made sure my iPod Shuffle was on securely but not too loud (so I could hear traffic), loaded my water bottle with a Gatorade/water mix, and tossed into the bike pack my wallet, cell phone, nutrition bar, and the keys to my mother-in-law's condo in case I needed to go inside, as I was riding in that direction. Sunglasses on, I headed out.

The first few miles went by fairly painlessly...in fact, I decided to make it an even longer ride, and planned to ride 25 miles instead of just 15 or 20.

Pretty soon, I passed my mother-in-law's condo--mile 7.2--and headed toward Mother's Beach, in Kennebunk. I was doing well, and the music was lifting me out of my bad mood, as was the pretty day and the cool weather.

Soon enough I was tooling along at Mother's Beach, looking at the sand and surf and enjoying my ride. By this time I was motivated enough that I had started moving a little faster, at close to a 15 mph pace. All of a sudden, a trolley car passed me. These are the tourist trolleys that cruise through Kennebunk and Kennebunkport, Maine during the summertime.

Unfortunately, the trolley got caught in traffic, and suddenly I found myself riding next to the trolley while a poor tourist was trying to take a picture of the beach! I had to hang back and cruise along behind the trolley. Suddenly, it hit me how silly this was--here I was, on a bike, going at the same rate of speed as a tourist vehicle, trying valiantly to stay out of the pictures a tourist was trying to take!

I don't know WHY it was so funny, but it was, and I found myself grinning at the situation.

Later on, I was riding away from the beach when another silly thing happened:

I got attacked by a mutant killer butterfly.

The monarch butterflies are out in force, and as I was riding, one suddenly flew straight at me! I didn't have time to react, and it ended up smacking me in the chest and fluttering around there for a moment! I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I kind of sat upright on my bike and moved my head back, and whoosh! It was free.

I felt AWFUL! I know you aren't supposed to touch the butterflies because the little "feathers" of color come off on your hands, and here this poor butterfly was, flapping all over my shirt! Once it had finally gotten free, I looked back, certain I'd see it fall to the ground--but no! It was happily fluttering off toward the bushes, apparently uninjured and unconcerned.

The silliness of being attacked by a killer Monarch suddenly struck me, and I started to laugh out loud.

At that moment, the irritation, the stress, the frustration and the annoyance completely lifted, and all I felt was light and happy. I stopped thinking of the bike ride as being a job I had to do (for my triathlon training), and instead felt more like I was enjoying my hobby.

That feeling allowed me to finish the last 9 miles of my bike ride, and I came in at 25.5 miles in 1 hour and 45 minutes exactly.

The best part is that I was so relaxed that I decided to go for a "brick" workout. A "brick" is when you string two or more types of triathlon exercise together--for example, a swim and a run, a bike and a run, or even all three--swim, bike, then run. I decided to do the bike/run combination, so as soon as I got home, I jumped off my bike, guzzled what was left in my water bottle, and took off to run just to the park and back--a half mile in all.

The funny thing is that the "jelly legs" phenomenon, which usually strikes when you get off a bike and start to run, went away really quickly this time. Usually it takes me at least a quarter mile to start to feel "normal", but this time, it wasn't even a tenth of a mile and I was running comfortably. In fact, I felt like I could go forever.

So I did.

Well, I didn't exactly go forever, but I did run four miles, without stopping.

And to think that, earlier in the morning, I was convinced that there was no way I could run at all, let alone 4 miles, which is the farthest I can currently run without stopping. I felt so good, I could have kept running past the four miles, but I figured that a 25.5 mile bike ride followed by a four mile run was good enough for the day.

The best part is that by doing this, I now KNOW that I can do the triathlon. The swim is the easiest part for me--I've been swimming since I was little--and the bike is the next easiest. The run was the only thing that was scaring me. I was CONVINCED that I would never be able to jump off my bike and run a 5K, because I tried it once and could barely run a half mile.

So what happened this day? Training, I'm sure, is the biggest part of it. But I know that the sudden outburst of laughter definitely played a part. That was when I relaxed and let go of the remnants of my mood, and just began to enjoy myself. And when I did that, I had the best workout of my life, and proved to myself that I have all the skills to do this triathlon.

After all, I biked 25 miles and ran four; the triathlon requires biking 14 miles and running 3.2.

I am ready.

And when I'm in the middle of my triathlon, I'm hoping that maybe--just maybe--a certain funny little Monarch butterfly will come along again, and remind me to laugh.


____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Freedom to Tri

I know, I know. I misspelled "Try".

Actually I didn't.

What today's blog is about is FREEDOM. We don't think about freedom, other than freedom from worry or freedom from terrorism. But there are other freedoms too, which I didn't enjoy in my previous life as a morbidly obese woman.

The joyful part of this journey into overcoming obesity is that I have gained a new measure of freedom in my life.

I have the freedom to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I do not limit myself, ever, on any foods that I eat. I learned that being free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, means that I am not afraid of food. I do not demonize it, or put it on a pedestal. Food is food. That's all there is to it. Lettuce is not more virtuous than chocolate, and a Starbuck's Mocha is not more deadly than a cup of decaf tea. To continue to lose weight, if I have these other things, I just fit them into my day by balancing out the calories over the rest of the day or, if necessary, the rest of the week.

Oh, and one more freedom that I have about food is that I can feel comfortable eating anything in front of anyone, without wondering if people around me are judging me on what I eat and thinking unkind thoughts.

That's something that plus-sized women think about. At least, I did.

Another freedom I have is the freedom to wear pretty clothes. I am not relegated to the Women's section of Macy's which, oddly enough, is like being relegated to the back of the bus. If you want to see what I mean, go to the Macy's flagship store in Herald Square in New York. I do not think you can get any higher up or any further back in the store than the Women's section. It's on the 7th floor, and if you enter from Herald Square (as most people seem to), you have to pass through all the other departments on that floor to get to it. I wrote a whole blog yesterday about clothes, so I won't go on. But that freedom to buy clothes anywhere, and on sale, is one of the best and most unanticipated bonuses of this entire journey.

I also have the freedom to exercise without feeling uncomfortable or ungainly. I can go out and run, as I did today, and if I feel like I want to keep going, I can, without a lot of huffing and puffing (unless I'm going uphill, of course). I can push myself to go further and further, and improve, and it doesn't hurt my lungs or hurt my legs or hurt my chest. I don't get headaches and I don't feel like I'm trying to move lead. Of course, after running my first half marathon, I might feel like I'm made of lead, but that's simply because I'll be pushing myself beyond my new limits. The old obese me had such low limits that any exercise at all brought such misery. Even walking a mile with friends on the school track had me puffing so hard I thought I'd have to stop. Yet today, I ran 1.6 miles, then after a .2 mile walk, I ran another mile. Maybe that's not much to some people, but considering that before this summer, the last time I ran a mile was junior high, we have some serious breakthrough here.

Another freedom I have is the Freedom to Tri.

Ah yes. The misspelling that isn't.

"The Freedom to Tri" means that I have such health, I am going to try new adventures.

Like a Triathlon.

You may have read that blog, about my upcoming races. What this blog is about is that recovering from obesity, to me, means that I have been able to get out and do things, like the 5K I jogged and walked back in June, or the kayaking I did last weekend, or the Triathlon I'm going to run in September.

You see, this to me is the most important freedom of all. The freedom to Try (Tri). The freedom to take on new adventures. The freedom to get out and be active in all the fun ways I wanted to be before, but didn't have the health to actually do.

As I mentioned, this past weekend I actually went on a Walk-On Adventure offered by L.L.Bean. These are walk-up-and-go-as-you-are physical activities that cost $15, and run anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours. L.L. Bean provides all the equipment you need, and then gives you introductory lessons, so that you can go out and actually do the things you've always wanted to try.

So I decided, in honor of my 97 pounds lost, I was going to go kayaking. Almost two years ago, when I was at my heaviest, I tried to get into a friend's kayak up at Sebago Lake. I fell out twice and never attempted it again. This time, however, I was bound and determined to get out there in a kayak.

I was nervous, sure. I explained my lack of experience, and the guides laughed and told me not to worry, these were more stable "recreational" kayaks, and that they'd get me into the kayak on the dock and then simply slide me into the water anyway--no possibility of falling over trying to get in.

So Kent took the girls to Borders, and off I went. I got my "personal floatation device" (no longer needing the largest they had), paid careful attention as they described the paddle strokes and how to turn, slow down and stop, and then it was time to get in the kayak.

No joke. They literally did slide me backwards down a ramp from the dock right into the water. And aside from a bit of a wiggle when I got in, I was very stable.

I was so excited! It felt a bit unwieldy at first, as I tried to get out of the way of the other dozen kayakers and two guides. I even bumped someone at one point, and the guide just laughed and said the kayaks came equipped with magnets and they attracted each other.

But pretty soon, I got the hang of it. When someone dodged in front of me, I quickly backstroked to stop. When we needed to wait for others, I was able to quickly "turn on a dime" to watch for them. And when the guide told us to head out toward the channel, I was off.

I wish I could convey the excitement of being out on the water in my own kayak. Half the fun was being with other people in their kayaks...sort of like biking, but not having to stick to "our lane of traffic". We meandered, we zig-zagged, some of us went faster and some slower.

Our male guide was fantastic--he knew the history of this part of the Harrasseeket River, and told us stories about the castle turret we saw, and pointed out good restaurants to try. He showed us Osprey and had us watch as one fluttered, hovering in place, before diving for something it saw in the water. He pointed out the flock of Canada Geese--not that we needed pointing, they are unbelievably noisy as they go past overhead. And he looked for but didn't see the resident Bald Eagle.

We chatted with people in boats, hanging out on the River, and ended up going into an area that was too shallow for other boats, very close to the geese. Our paddles hit bottom, but we glided on.

And the gliding was so incredible. Sure, I worked for it, paddling this side and that, but the sensation was so smooth, so sure, and so free, that I didn't mind the work I was doing. The breeze off the surface of the water kept us cool, and I had a bottle of water to drink while we were out.

Who knew that kayaks come equipped with a water bottle holder tucked between the knees?

The hour and a half we spent on the water was over too fast. We glided back to the dock, and I was able to quickly zip over to the far side of the dock and line myself up properly to help them pull us out--again, no ungainly trying to get in and out of the kayak, so no chance I could fall in.

I would love to have a kayak, but I also recognize that, as I mentioned before, half the fun of the kayaking was being out on the water with other people. I think I would enjoy solo kayaking, but if I was going to be out on my own, I think I'd almost rather do some serious rowing, like sculling.

I've always wanted to try that, too. Maybe there's someplace in Boston I can go to give it a tri...er, a try??

Have a great evening. Go out and do something!

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers


__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!