The scale said WHAT? (GAH!)

Oh man oh man oh man.

Everything associated with the move to California has been a mess. My weight is just one more part of it.

I gained 20 pounds in the move, and then stopped running and gained 15 more since December.

So now I'm flirting with the edge of 200, and feeling really annoyed about it.

However, I got back on track. I got a "fitbook", which I love, as it helps me plan and keep track of my exercise and nutrition (without freaking about calories), and I've been running 3 times per week plus doing strength training once or twice a week.

I lost five pounds the first week.

I gained two the next.

And today? The scale is telling me I gained three more. Along with 2% body fat!

How is this possible?? How can a person gain two percent body fat in three days--since Friday, when last I weighed myself??

Welcome back to Frustrationland!! AGAIN!

(Sigh!)

I don't understand this. I wish I hadn't bought one of those fancy scales that gives you the body fat percentage. It's just confusing me. I might give it away and get a cheapo plain scale.

I used to have a big, glass scale we got at Brookstone, and it was simply a digital scale. But it was so huge and heavy, and you couldn't tuck it away anywhere, so I gave it away when we moved. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have it back. I tracked in the 0.1 range for weight, and as I said--it didn't do the body fat thing.

Anyway, it really makes me mad more than anything. I didn't lose 100 pounds only to regain 35 of it.

Again, not that, in the grand scheme of things, it's such a huge deal. At a size 12, I'm still way more healthy than I was at a size 20. And being able to run a 5K at an 11 minute per mile pace is pretty darn awesome too. I'm sure my cholesterol and triglycerides are doing fine, they always are when I eat lots of salmon and walnuts and all that good stuff, which I am right now. In fact, I'm actually eating disgustingly healthfully, a lot of organic, very little sugar (OK I had two...three!...cookies yesterday), and lots of "real" food. I only shop the "perimeter" of the store, where all the fresh stuff is, and rarely venture into the aisles unless I need cereal for Kent and the kids.

What I'm not doing is eating a lot of veggies, but the fitbook has a checkoff for veggies so that's helping me there.

Again, as I said, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a lot healthier than I was. I'm more fit, more active, stronger, and more capable than I was for 15 years.

However, I'm not where I was last June, and right now that's killing me. I liked being that fit; I liked being able to run 20 miles. And I liked feeling slim and small, although I must admit, my face got a little too thin. I was looking a little haggard there. Or was that the two solid weeks of packing that did it? (wink!)

I think right now what's bothering me the most is that I don't feel small like I did before. I liked that feeling. Like Kent and I weren't the same size--and frankly, for a while, we were. And right now, with my clothes the wrong size, even if they're mediums and larges (and not extra-large or 1x or 2x), I still don't feel small.

So back to the drawing board. I just finished reading a book called Real Food, by Nina Planck, and she wrote a lot of interesting things about eating real eggs and real milk and even butter, not that I want to slather all my food in a pound of butter, but certainly it's better than hydrogenated margarine.

I will keep on the pace I'm on--strength training, running, and try to add walks in where I'm not doing either. And I'm tracking my food now, so I'll be better about getting those veggies and fruits in. That's something that, frankly, I've been horrible at lately, and I know that I was eating way more of them when I was lighter. And I need to re-read YOU: On a Diet, by Dr. Oz. I did that before and it helped me to see it was all physiological.

And right now, when the scale is telling me I gained 3 pounds and 2% body fat in one weekend, I need all the help I can get to remember it's NOT the Diet Gods out to get me.

I just gotta get back in the zone of want-power; I can do this. I did it before. I will do it again.

Have fun and enjoy health!

The Question: How Did I Do It?

A couple posts ago, in response to my entry, "A Life Altered Yet Again", Tyler asked me the following question:

"I'm curious, how did you lose weight?"

I've gotten that question a lot, especially from people who knew be "before", and who hadn't seen me in a while. The usual remark is "WHOAH!" followed by, '"How did you do it?''

I wrote a reply out to Tyler, and realized that it's the same answer I always give. I may have even put this in another blog entry someplace. But it bears repeating...the things I did that made a difference for me.

HOW I DID IT:

#1, I started weighing myself daily. Knowing anybody fluctuates up to 2-3 pounds daily, it was just a "check-in" to see how I was doing. If I went up over 3 pounds, I knew I was doing something wrong. Weight Watchers tells you to NEVER do this...but it works for me.

#2, I read YOU: On a Diet by Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen. It reinforced that losing weight is PHYSIOLOGICAL, not psychological OR the whims of the "Diet Gods" (whom I was convinced hated me anyway). They actually have all sorts of good stuff online now, through their website, "RealAge" (which helped me learn how to eat)...but I read the book. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but it worked for me. I re-read parts of it when I felt especially persecuted by those blasted Diet Gods...

#3, I walked. Then I jogged. Then I ran. And I decided to join a club to add the weightlifting component to work on my strength. The trainer there, a wonderful guy, told me NEVER to do the same thing two days in a row. He said your body needs time to recover, and doing things two days in a row doesn't allow it the time to recover and rebuild. So I did weights AND 30 minutes on the elliptical 3x a week, and walking/jogging 3x a week, alternating. The trainer said my walking/jogging was my "weight loss" effort, so aimed for my elliptical training heart rate to be at something like 80% of maximum to train my cardiovascular system. It worked! My cardiovascular system ended up in fabulous shape; I could out-walk and out-run my teenaged niece without huffing and puffing! The trainer was a great help and I stuck with his program for a couple months, then met with him again and started a new program...until I really got serious about running...then I ended up just running most of the time. Mistake--I should have stuck with the weights. It would have made me a stronger runner. Even though I could run half marathons and do triathlons, I was mostly strong on my legs/hips, but not so much in my core and arms.

#4, I wrote down EVERY LITTLE THING I ate and tallied the calories. When I hit 1800 calories (up to 2000) I stopped eating. Period. It only took a few days for me to start to nail down what I could do to maximize my nutrition/satiety without piling on the calories. I noticed that foods that were closest to their natural state (i.e. apple vs. juice) tended to fill me more and "cost" me less. But I did NOT play games and eat junky, tasteless food just because it was low in calories. I ate whatever I wanted, even dark chocolate (Lindt, mmm) but just "budgeted" my calories accordingly by making sure I ate lots of healthy stuff in between--like fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. And I tried to make sure I ate the veggies FIRST when I had dinner, and used a lunch plate instead of one of those huge dinner plates. That helped. If you split your plate into halves, then the half into halves again (so you have two 1/4ths and one 1/2), put the veggies in the half side...and in the 1/4 portions, that's for your lean protein and whole grains. That helps a lot.

#5, Take a multivitamin and calcium, and yes, that's important for guys too. Although I got far better nutrition from the new way of eating anyway, I just wanted to be sure I was covered.

#6, I made healthier choices to lower my cholesterol. It was over 200, and I dropped it to something like 159, with excellent HDL levels, low LDL levels, and oustanding triglycerides. The exercise was a huge help too, but I made sure to eat olive oil instead of butter or margarine, whole grains (whole wheat bread, wild/brown rice mix, etc.) and I had oatmeal daily...I love oatmeal, so it wasn't a tough sell. I also ate salmon weekly if I could, and just tried to eliminate all those trans-fats (hydrogenated or partially-hydrogenated oils) and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), both of which are in just about everything (even crackers!). I think HFCS is the spawn of the devil. :)

Incidentally, my doctor, when I went in for my checkup after telling him I wanted to take care of my cholesterol by myself (without drugs) first, nearly danced when my numbers came in. He was giddy, it was so funny! He called me a "poster child" and said that I was living proof that "diet and exercise work!"

And by the way...one more thing: I NEVER use the word "diet" except to mean "eating plan" as in, "That's part of a healthy diet." I have young, impressionable girls, and I NEVER want them to diet. Ever. It's a roller coaster that you can't get off of. I simply called it "eating healthier", and my daughter knows I eat healthy...but has never once said I was on a diet. I want it to stay that way. Diets are temporary--eating healthy is a permanent choice.

That's not to say some Oreos don't go amiss now and again...!

:)

There. The Answer to The Question. I hope it provides some insight for you, and helps you out in your weight-loss and/or maintenance efforts.

Good luck!

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Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part One)

I was at the grocery store the other day, and while waiting to buy my cereal, fruit and milk, I started looking over the various magazine offerings on the racks nearby. This is what I read:

"Get a Beach Body in 10 Days!"

"Kathly lost 18 pounds in 13 days!"

"Drop one pound every day!"

"Get a Flat Belly--Be Fit and Firm in 9 days!"

"Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks!"

"Eat These Fat-Melting Meals!"

"Counting Calories Doesn't Work--THIS Does!"

"Recipes That Blast Away Fat!"

...and, of course, my absolute favorite:

"Hot Legs in 6 Days! ...We Promise!"

I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. It suddenly hit me that I was reading what I now call The Big Lie that magazines perpetuate: that weight loss can be super fast, you can actually look like the highly-airbrushed cover models in mere days, and that there is some "magic bullet" that will transform your body and "blast away" the fat, leaving you one "hot" babe (or dude).

Trust me. If any of these things were even remotely true, they wouldn't be on a magazine cover. It would be the lead story on the Evening News!

Now that doesn't mean that I doubt that Kathy lost 18 pounds in 13 days. I've never met Kathy. I have nothing against her. And as for the weight loss, I'm absolutely sure she did actually lose that much. But what it doesn't say is that Kathy most likely lost a lot in water weight, or (God forbid) maybe even some muscle mass.

The magazine does NOT tell you she lost 18 pounds of FAT. You just cannot lose fat that quickly, unless you have a tummy tuck or liposuction or do some other drastic reduction method.

But we see it and we WANT it to be true. I would love to know I could lose 18 pounds in under two weeks, instead of sweating it out over 9 weeks or longer. That sort of weight loss is a dream, and we'll happily pay billions every year to find the magic bullet that will instantly solve our weight problems.

I wish someone would sue the magazines for false advertising and making promises they can't keep. Think about it: at 259 pounds, even if I religiously did the one magazine's program, there is absolutely NO way on Earth I could have HOT LEGS in 6 days...unless they really mean that my legs would be overheated from all the exercise, which is likely what they would claim if I sued them!

What makes it worse is that, here in America, we live and die by that blasted scale. If the number is up, it's bad (unless you're like my ex-brother-in-law and struggle to gain even one pound...the jerk). If the number is down, it's good. And it's all-fair, no-foul when it comes to ways to getting that number to move downward. Some of us don't even care if it is water weight, so long as that number keeps getting lower.

So we try it all. Cabbage diets. Leek soup diets. All carbs, no carbs, Atkins, Mediterranean, Sonoma...they all work, briefly. And the faster the weight loss, the more likely it was simply water weight. Read the books by the doctors and obesity experts: you just cannot lose fat that fast. The best you can hope for is one to two pounds of fat per week for most people. Sometimes it's not even that.

On top of that, these plans work in the short term because if you severely restrict calories, as many do, you lose weight, but most people in America can't keep eating a special diet forever. Reality inevitably returns, and with it the old habits. If you're truly unlucky, you restricted calories so much (under 1200 or worse) that your body went into starvation mode, driving your metabolism into the tank. Then when you return to eating in your old amounts, your body won't use it like it once did, and you gain weight even faster.

I learned all this the hard way. I didn't wake up 259 pounds one morning. I dieted my way to that weight.

As a kid, I was healthy. I weighed a normal amount. I also discovered a love of candy that I still have to this day, and I discovered as I got older that I had more of a curvy body shape than the boyish shape that was in fashion at the time.

If only Jennifer Lopez was popular when I was a teenager, I would have been set for life!

Since I had a curvy body with hips and a shapely (read: not flat) back end, I was called "bubble butt" and worse by my so-called friends. So I started dieting. I'd lose weight, look great, then go back to normal eating. I'd gain back what I lost plus some, and diet some more. The same thing would happen--lose weight, look good, go back to normal, and bam--back up, plus more besides. I have been doing that since I was at least 16 years old, if not younger; that translates into more than 25 years of dieting.

If I had just known then that DIETS DON'T WORK, I would have saved myself the hassle.

Actually, from what I understand, "diet" wasn't originally a verb; it was a noun. As in this definition from dictionary.com:

"Diet (n): a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease: a diet low in sugar."

A person trying to lose weight used to be told by their doctor to follow this particular diet, meaning selection of food. People then took that and turned it into, "My doctor has me on a diet," followed soon by "I am dieting."

Voila. Diet as a verb, and a whole institution is born.

If the various diet companies (who shall here remain nameless) really wanted us to lose the weight for good, they would have built into their Mission Statements the concept of becoming redundant. I firmly believe they like to see people succeed, but when all is said and done, it is all about the money. Always.

In their book, YOU: On a Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management, Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen say this on page 10. (No, it is NOT a "Diet", despite the title.)

"Unless you're the rare kind of person who responds to dietary drill sergeants, you won't find long-term solutions using traditional weight-loss methods; willpower, deprivation, fads, phases or dead-bolting the lid of the butter pecan. Instead, using this plan, you will train yourself to never think about what you're eating, never think about getting on a diet or worry about coming off one, and never have to figure out formulas, zones, or for the love of (fill in the diety of your choice), place a chicken breast on a food scale." (Roizen, Michael and Oz, Mehmet. YOU: On a Diet. New York: Free Press, 2006).

I read their book cover-to-cover before I started trying to lose weight (notice I didn't say diet--I have never called this a diet, and I never will...more on that later). I am not quite where they say I should be yet. I never worry about what I'm eating, I never stick chicken breast on a scale, I NEVER think about going on a diet or coming off one, but I do think about how much I'm eating. This is because, after over 25 years' worth of dieting, I am not intuitive enough yet to be able to keep track of what I've eaten throughout the day without going overboard. I'm also not that great at always remembering to eat enough fruits and veggies unless I write it down and check back later.

I realize that, and it's OK. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, thinking "shoulda, woulda, coulda". I'm allowing myself to be gentle with ME; I've only changed my life in the past 8 months. It takes longer than that to grow a baby in the womb; I can allow myself at least that long to grow a whole new me.

Click here to go to Part II

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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

How Much is Enough, Anyway?

Warning! Today's blog is an obsessive rant into calorie-counting and the ambiguity of knowing how much to eat. It's a little overly-introspective, perhaps, but recovering from obesity causes these sorts of angst-ridden diatribes from time to time. My apologies in advance. I will do better next time. Meanwhile, I need to get this out. Thanks!
--Karina
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So I am sitting here, feeding Kara Cheerio after Cheerio, after having already fed her a good-sized jar of Tender Harvest Organic Pear and Wild Blueberry puree' mixed in a bowl with Earth's Best Organic Whole-grain Oatmeal.

Basically what I'm trying to say here is that she's eating quite well, and she's eating a lot.

This is a good thing for a baby when it's 9 p.m. and her bedtime is about an hour past. That means she's likely to go for a longer time tonight without needing to wake up to eat.

That's always a bonus, when Mommy is the "lunch wagon". (Read: I breastfeed.)

However, it also brings up a great question:

How much food is enough, anyway?

Since getting home from California, I have had a headache nearly every single day. I am trying to track the reasons, but I think it's a combination of lack of sleep (staying up too late and once again being the sole caretaker for Maddy and Kara since Kent went to GenCon), combined with either not eating enough protein, or not eating enough, period.

I aim to take in 1800-2000 calories per day (trying to stay closer to 1800), but sometimes I go a little under because of being busy with the girls. This makes me wonder if lack of food is causing the headaches.

There is a lot of research into this topic. One of my favorite sites, the Calories Per Hour website, gives you a calculator to figure out how many calories you're supposed to eat.

But if you are trying to lose weight, or are breastfeeding (like me), or have a depressed metabolism because of previous dieting or other health issues, then that calculator could be WAY off.

Oh...if you're concerned about my losing weight and breastfeeding, read the "Side note" in purple at the bottom of this blog.

So, to go back to it, right now, I am concerned about how much I'm eating.

I know, I know--don't tamper with success. To have lost about 100 pounds, I obviously must have pegged the right balance of number of calories and exercise, at least for me.

But it still begs the question: have I so screwed up my metabolism from years of yo-yoing and diet nightmares that an extra piece of bread from my favorite bakery, When Pigs Fly, is going to depth-charge my weight-loss efforts for the day?

And for me, for the optimal balance of energy and weight loss, how much is enough, anyway?

When Maddy was born, I saw a clever ad that had a baby with a little booklet attached, and it said, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if they came with an instruction manual?"

I couldn't agree more. I wish I had an instruction manual that said, "Feed 1800 calories daily". I could then simply relax. I already make the right food choices--lean proteins, high-quality carbs (whole grains), good healthy unsaturated fats, lots of salmon and walnuts and so forth--but then I would know for sure how much of each of those things I should eat, and whether it would be a good idea to have that extra piece of bread or chocolate after all.

Basically, I could stop obsessing about calories, and just live.

Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen, in their book, YOU: On a Diet, say that you shouldn't count calories anyway. They have a basic eating plan that I could follow, that should provide everything I need. But I like to improvise. Sometimes I start out the day planning to have salad for dinner, and end up with a nice little piece of salmon. I do sometimes cook based on what I find fresh at my grocery store.

I also have a deathly fear of letting go of my calorie counts. It's been such a wildly successful tool for me, that I am afraid not logging everything I eat means I will "forget" that piece of See's chocolate I ate after lunch, and will end up going overboard.

And I love chocolate too much to give THAT up, too.

So I continue to obsess about eating enough.

But at the same time, I don't want to eat too little.

As a teenager, I once told my mother-in-law (before I married her son!) that I was on a diet of 1,000 calories. She gently asked me if I thought that was too little. I wish she'd whacked me upside the head and said, "What are you doing, you're going to destroy your metabolism!"

To her credit, she is a very tactful woman and would NEVER whack me upside the head, much as she might like to!

In fact, just tonight at Barnes & Noble, I read something that said that the starvation defense kicks in at just under 1200 calories. So drop to 1199 and your metabolism goes into "sleep" mode, to ensure that you don't starve to death.

Needless to say, that 1,000 calorie foray was a recipe for disaster. I not only couldn't keep it up, but I also put my metabolism to sleep at the same time.

Eating enough is SO not an issue most of the time, at least not when I'm the sole caretaker for both girls. I don't think I could eat only 1200 calories even if someone said I'd be guaranteed to win the lottery. I like food too much.

Forgetting to eat has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but I have done it a few times these past few days.

I know. "Stupidest" isn't a word. But it felt right in that sentence, regardless.

(Sigh)

So yes, this is a lot of obsessing, perhaps, but really, that's part of recovery--the insecurity of whether what I'm doing is in my best health interests, or whether I'm going to be throwing myself into a tailspin when it comes to my recovery.

All of which means that on occasion, I go into a self-serving obsessive rant over whether what I'm doing is the "right" thing, past successes notwithstanding.

If you think this is bad, you should have seen me in April. I had to reread YOU: On a Diet three different times to prove to myself that this is physiological, and that the God of Weighloss did not have me on her Hit List.

Meanwhile, what I would love, love, LOVE to do is what they did for Oprah one day on her show this year, when they took a group of women to the Miraval spa. The women got a metabolism test that told them exactly how many calories they should eat. Each woman was individual--I remember being bummed for Oprah that Gayle King got to eat more than Oprah did!

And I also remember being surprised that the number seemed to be a lot lower than mine, at least based on what I've gotten off the internet. If I remember, Oprah's metabolic rate was around 1400 calories or so. I obviously don't know if that was the basal metabolic rate and needed to be ramped up for her activity level or not, but once again, the calorie count got me wondering how much is enough.

Oh. I would also like to go to Miraval Spa "just because". LOL. The metabolic testing would just be icing on the relaxation cake!

So until I find some way to get the metabolic testing for myself, I will plug along and do the best I can.

And after losing a hundred pounds, I'd say that's not half bad!

Have a good day!

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway
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Side note:
Before anyone freaks about the breastfeeding, you need to know that I am the "ask for permission" type of person, and I follow orders pretty much to the letter. So you can bet that I definitely asked my doctor's permission to try losing weight while breastfeeding, and he gave me his blessing. He said I needed to be sure not to lose "too fast", because toxins you have taken in over the years (pesticides, mercury, and so forth) are stored in the body's fat, and if you lose too much fat too fast, the baby gets a dose of those toxins. It made sense to me, and I've averaged something like 1.7 pounds per week over the months--a perfect amount.

My doctor also said to eat healthy and take my vitamins, but that I should go ahead and take advantage of the breastfeeding calorie burn. He said the baby is "a lovely little parasite" and that she'd get all she needed from me automatically. He said I wouldn't hurt her by the choices I made in eating, and that the reason I needed to eat healthy was to keep my own body running properly.

Did I tell you that I love my doctor? Or that he loves me because of what my eating and exercise have done to my blood pressure and cholesterol levels--affording him a perfect example of "diet and exercise can change your life"??



__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!