Oh man oh man oh man.
Everything associated with the move to California has been a mess. My weight is just one more part of it.
I gained 20 pounds in the move, and then stopped running and gained 15 more since December.
So now I'm flirting with the edge of 200, and feeling really annoyed about it.
However, I got back on track. I got a "fitbook", which I love, as it helps me plan and keep track of my exercise and nutrition (without freaking about calories), and I've been running 3 times per week plus doing strength training once or twice a week.
I lost five pounds the first week.
I gained two the next.
And today? The scale is telling me I gained three more. Along with 2% body fat!
How is this possible?? How can a person gain two percent body fat in three days--since Friday, when last I weighed myself??
Welcome back to Frustrationland!! AGAIN!
(Sigh!)
I don't understand this. I wish I hadn't bought one of those fancy scales that gives you the body fat percentage. It's just confusing me. I might give it away and get a cheapo plain scale.
I used to have a big, glass scale we got at Brookstone, and it was simply a digital scale. But it was so huge and heavy, and you couldn't tuck it away anywhere, so I gave it away when we moved. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have it back. I tracked in the 0.1 range for weight, and as I said--it didn't do the body fat thing.
Anyway, it really makes me mad more than anything. I didn't lose 100 pounds only to regain 35 of it.
Again, not that, in the grand scheme of things, it's such a huge deal. At a size 12, I'm still way more healthy than I was at a size 20. And being able to run a 5K at an 11 minute per mile pace is pretty darn awesome too. I'm sure my cholesterol and triglycerides are doing fine, they always are when I eat lots of salmon and walnuts and all that good stuff, which I am right now. In fact, I'm actually eating disgustingly healthfully, a lot of organic, very little sugar (OK I had two...three!...cookies yesterday), and lots of "real" food. I only shop the "perimeter" of the store, where all the fresh stuff is, and rarely venture into the aisles unless I need cereal for Kent and the kids.
What I'm not doing is eating a lot of veggies, but the fitbook has a checkoff for veggies so that's helping me there.
Again, as I said, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a lot healthier than I was. I'm more fit, more active, stronger, and more capable than I was for 15 years.
However, I'm not where I was last June, and right now that's killing me. I liked being that fit; I liked being able to run 20 miles. And I liked feeling slim and small, although I must admit, my face got a little too thin. I was looking a little haggard there. Or was that the two solid weeks of packing that did it? (wink!)
I think right now what's bothering me the most is that I don't feel small like I did before. I liked that feeling. Like Kent and I weren't the same size--and frankly, for a while, we were. And right now, with my clothes the wrong size, even if they're mediums and larges (and not extra-large or 1x or 2x), I still don't feel small.
So back to the drawing board. I just finished reading a book called Real Food, by Nina Planck, and she wrote a lot of interesting things about eating real eggs and real milk and even butter, not that I want to slather all my food in a pound of butter, but certainly it's better than hydrogenated margarine.
I will keep on the pace I'm on--strength training, running, and try to add walks in where I'm not doing either. And I'm tracking my food now, so I'll be better about getting those veggies and fruits in. That's something that, frankly, I've been horrible at lately, and I know that I was eating way more of them when I was lighter. And I need to re-read YOU: On a Diet, by Dr. Oz. I did that before and it helped me to see it was all physiological.
And right now, when the scale is telling me I gained 3 pounds and 2% body fat in one weekend, I need all the help I can get to remember it's NOT the Diet Gods out to get me.
I just gotta get back in the zone of want-power; I can do this. I did it before. I will do it again.
Have fun and enjoy health!
Showing posts with label lifestyle change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle change. Show all posts
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Question: How Did I Do It?
A couple posts ago, in response to my entry, "A Life Altered Yet Again", Tyler asked me the following question:
"I'm curious, how did you lose weight?"
I've gotten that question a lot, especially from people who knew be "before", and who hadn't seen me in a while. The usual remark is "WHOAH!" followed by, '"How did you do it?''
I wrote a reply out to Tyler, and realized that it's the same answer I always give. I may have even put this in another blog entry someplace. But it bears repeating...the things I did that made a difference for me.
HOW I DID IT:
#1, I started weighing myself daily. Knowing anybody fluctuates up to 2-3 pounds daily, it was just a "check-in" to see how I was doing. If I went up over 3 pounds, I knew I was doing something wrong. Weight Watchers tells you to NEVER do this...but it works for me.
#2, I read YOU: On a Diet by Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen. It reinforced that losing weight is PHYSIOLOGICAL, not psychological OR the whims of the "Diet Gods" (whom I was convinced hated me anyway). They actually have all sorts of good stuff online now, through their website, "RealAge" (which helped me learn how to eat)...but I read the book. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but it worked for me. I re-read parts of it when I felt especially persecuted by those blasted Diet Gods...
#3, I walked. Then I jogged. Then I ran. And I decided to join a club to add the weightlifting component to work on my strength. The trainer there, a wonderful guy, told me NEVER to do the same thing two days in a row. He said your body needs time to recover, and doing things two days in a row doesn't allow it the time to recover and rebuild. So I did weights AND 30 minutes on the elliptical 3x a week, and walking/jogging 3x a week, alternating. The trainer said my walking/jogging was my "weight loss" effort, so aimed for my elliptical training heart rate to be at something like 80% of maximum to train my cardiovascular system. It worked! My cardiovascular system ended up in fabulous shape; I could out-walk and out-run my teenaged niece without huffing and puffing! The trainer was a great help and I stuck with his program for a couple months, then met with him again and started a new program...until I really got serious about running...then I ended up just running most of the time. Mistake--I should have stuck with the weights. It would have made me a stronger runner. Even though I could run half marathons and do triathlons, I was mostly strong on my legs/hips, but not so much in my core and arms.
#4, I wrote down EVERY LITTLE THING I ate and tallied the calories. When I hit 1800 calories (up to 2000) I stopped eating. Period. It only took a few days for me to start to nail down what I could do to maximize my nutrition/satiety without piling on the calories. I noticed that foods that were closest to their natural state (i.e. apple vs. juice) tended to fill me more and "cost" me less. But I did NOT play games and eat junky, tasteless food just because it was low in calories. I ate whatever I wanted, even dark chocolate (Lindt, mmm) but just "budgeted" my calories accordingly by making sure I ate lots of healthy stuff in between--like fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. And I tried to make sure I ate the veggies FIRST when I had dinner, and used a lunch plate instead of one of those huge dinner plates. That helped. If you split your plate into halves, then the half into halves again (so you have two 1/4ths and one 1/2), put the veggies in the half side...and in the 1/4 portions, that's for your lean protein and whole grains. That helps a lot.
#5, Take a multivitamin and calcium, and yes, that's important for guys too. Although I got far better nutrition from the new way of eating anyway, I just wanted to be sure I was covered.
#6, I made healthier choices to lower my cholesterol. It was over 200, and I dropped it to something like 159, with excellent HDL levels, low LDL levels, and oustanding triglycerides. The exercise was a huge help too, but I made sure to eat olive oil instead of butter or margarine, whole grains (whole wheat bread, wild/brown rice mix, etc.) and I had oatmeal daily...I love oatmeal, so it wasn't a tough sell. I also ate salmon weekly if I could, and just tried to eliminate all those trans-fats (hydrogenated or partially-hydrogenated oils) and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), both of which are in just about everything (even crackers!). I think HFCS is the spawn of the devil. :)
Incidentally, my doctor, when I went in for my checkup after telling him I wanted to take care of my cholesterol by myself (without drugs) first, nearly danced when my numbers came in. He was giddy, it was so funny! He called me a "poster child" and said that I was living proof that "diet and exercise work!"
And by the way...one more thing: I NEVER use the word "diet" except to mean "eating plan" as in, "That's part of a healthy diet." I have young, impressionable girls, and I NEVER want them to diet. Ever. It's a roller coaster that you can't get off of. I simply called it "eating healthier", and my daughter knows I eat healthy...but has never once said I was on a diet. I want it to stay that way. Diets are temporary--eating healthy is a permanent choice.
That's not to say some Oreos don't go amiss now and again...!
:)
There. The Answer to The Question. I hope it provides some insight for you, and helps you out in your weight-loss and/or maintenance efforts.
Good luck!
____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
"I'm curious, how did you lose weight?"
I've gotten that question a lot, especially from people who knew be "before", and who hadn't seen me in a while. The usual remark is "WHOAH!" followed by, '"How did you do it?''
I wrote a reply out to Tyler, and realized that it's the same answer I always give. I may have even put this in another blog entry someplace. But it bears repeating...the things I did that made a difference for me.
HOW I DID IT:
#1, I started weighing myself daily. Knowing anybody fluctuates up to 2-3 pounds daily, it was just a "check-in" to see how I was doing. If I went up over 3 pounds, I knew I was doing something wrong. Weight Watchers tells you to NEVER do this...but it works for me.
#2, I read YOU: On a Diet by Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen. It reinforced that losing weight is PHYSIOLOGICAL, not psychological OR the whims of the "Diet Gods" (whom I was convinced hated me anyway). They actually have all sorts of good stuff online now, through their website, "RealAge" (which helped me learn how to eat)...but I read the book. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but it worked for me. I re-read parts of it when I felt especially persecuted by those blasted Diet Gods...
#3, I walked. Then I jogged. Then I ran. And I decided to join a club to add the weightlifting component to work on my strength. The trainer there, a wonderful guy, told me NEVER to do the same thing two days in a row. He said your body needs time to recover, and doing things two days in a row doesn't allow it the time to recover and rebuild. So I did weights AND 30 minutes on the elliptical 3x a week, and walking/jogging 3x a week, alternating. The trainer said my walking/jogging was my "weight loss" effort, so aimed for my elliptical training heart rate to be at something like 80% of maximum to train my cardiovascular system. It worked! My cardiovascular system ended up in fabulous shape; I could out-walk and out-run my teenaged niece without huffing and puffing! The trainer was a great help and I stuck with his program for a couple months, then met with him again and started a new program...until I really got serious about running...then I ended up just running most of the time. Mistake--I should have stuck with the weights. It would have made me a stronger runner. Even though I could run half marathons and do triathlons, I was mostly strong on my legs/hips, but not so much in my core and arms.
#4, I wrote down EVERY LITTLE THING I ate and tallied the calories. When I hit 1800 calories (up to 2000) I stopped eating. Period. It only took a few days for me to start to nail down what I could do to maximize my nutrition/satiety without piling on the calories. I noticed that foods that were closest to their natural state (i.e. apple vs. juice) tended to fill me more and "cost" me less. But I did NOT play games and eat junky, tasteless food just because it was low in calories. I ate whatever I wanted, even dark chocolate (Lindt, mmm) but just "budgeted" my calories accordingly by making sure I ate lots of healthy stuff in between--like fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. And I tried to make sure I ate the veggies FIRST when I had dinner, and used a lunch plate instead of one of those huge dinner plates. That helped. If you split your plate into halves, then the half into halves again (so you have two 1/4ths and one 1/2), put the veggies in the half side...and in the 1/4 portions, that's for your lean protein and whole grains. That helps a lot.
#5, Take a multivitamin and calcium, and yes, that's important for guys too. Although I got far better nutrition from the new way of eating anyway, I just wanted to be sure I was covered.
#6, I made healthier choices to lower my cholesterol. It was over 200, and I dropped it to something like 159, with excellent HDL levels, low LDL levels, and oustanding triglycerides. The exercise was a huge help too, but I made sure to eat olive oil instead of butter or margarine, whole grains (whole wheat bread, wild/brown rice mix, etc.) and I had oatmeal daily...I love oatmeal, so it wasn't a tough sell. I also ate salmon weekly if I could, and just tried to eliminate all those trans-fats (hydrogenated or partially-hydrogenated oils) and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), both of which are in just about everything (even crackers!). I think HFCS is the spawn of the devil. :)
Incidentally, my doctor, when I went in for my checkup after telling him I wanted to take care of my cholesterol by myself (without drugs) first, nearly danced when my numbers came in. He was giddy, it was so funny! He called me a "poster child" and said that I was living proof that "diet and exercise work!"
And by the way...one more thing: I NEVER use the word "diet" except to mean "eating plan" as in, "That's part of a healthy diet." I have young, impressionable girls, and I NEVER want them to diet. Ever. It's a roller coaster that you can't get off of. I simply called it "eating healthier", and my daughter knows I eat healthy...but has never once said I was on a diet. I want it to stay that way. Diets are temporary--eating healthy is a permanent choice.
That's not to say some Oreos don't go amiss now and again...!
:)
There. The Answer to The Question. I hope it provides some insight for you, and helps you out in your weight-loss and/or maintenance efforts.
Good luck!
____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Getting Your Head in the Game
"Half this game is 90% mental." -- Yogi Berra
__________________________________________________________________
I have learned a lot of lessons over the last eight months in this whole process of recovering from obesity. The most important thing I have learned, though, is that it really is up to you whether you're going to win or lose at the weight-loss game.
That wasn't something I appreciated at first, mind you. In fact, it drove me nuts. Throughout my 17 years of being unsuccessful at losing weight, I thought it was always all about willpower.
I am one stubborn person. And I thought I had all the willpower in the world. But in looking back, I can see now that I had a lot of want-power, but not a lot of willpower.
I wanted my life to change, but I did not have the willpower to change my lifestyle.
Oh, sure, don't get me wrong. I could restrict calories with the best of them. I could deny myself a cookie or those blasted Ho-Hos for a while. But eventually, not being allowed to have them made them that forbidden fruit. And we all know what that did to Eve.
But what I didn't get was that losing weight wasn't about a quick-fix, this-is-what-you-do-to-lose-weight-and-then-you-can-go-back-to-normal type of solution. I still thought losing weight was something different you did for a while. I didn't realize that it wasn't about DOING different, it was about BEING different.
I could deny and deny myself the junk food, but it wasn't until I ACCEPTED certain things that my weight started to drop consistently.
First of all, I had to accept that cookies are always going to exist, and that frankly, I like cookies, and I'm never going to give them up entirely. Ditto with chocolate.
I had to accept that I HATE egg white omelettes with a passion. What is it with egg white omelettes anyway? I swear, anyone on a diet always eats egg white omelettes. I can't stand the things--they stick like mad, for one thing, and frankly, all the good flavor is in the yolks anyway!
I had to accept that this wasn't going to happen overnight. Much as we all want that "fat-blasting" workout, the "promise" of "hot legs" in days, or losing 18 pounds in 13 days, it's not going to happen. Period.
I had to accept that, in order to effectively lose weight, I was going to have to start exercising. And not calisthenics--I needed to use up some serious calories, and that meant moving major muscle groups. If I couldn't run, I needed to at least start walking, and do it consistently.
I had to accept that there would be some things I'd never be able to change. For example, I was fat for so long, my arms are just not returning to their pre-obesity size. Sure, they're smaller, but I now have what I call "bat wings" when I stick my arms out to the side. You know what I mean--the saggy skin under the arms that dangles down and flaps in the breeze. No amount of bicep and tricep work is gonna change that, unfortunately, no matter how strong those muscles become. Kent told me the other day that I could always have some plastic surgery if my arms really bother me, but I don't have the money and, much as it sounds intriguing, I am not doing anything until I've maintained a stable weight for a couple years anyhow.
And finally, I had to accept that this was a lifestyle change. I will never go back to sitting around, eating a whole bag of Hershey's kisses or a box of Ho-Hos while drinking hot chocolate and watching episode after episode of Law and Order.
Not eating a whole bag of kisses doesn't sound so difficult, perhaps, but there are some days that all I really, really want to do is just that: eat a bag of Hershey Kisses--or a few Ho-Hos--and drink hot cocoa while watching Law and Order! It's just that, so far, I haven't gotten to the point where I NEED to do that. I have already decided that if I get to that point sometime, I'll do it. I'm human, not perfect, and if I need to eat that bag of Hershey's Kisses, I'm not going to deny myself, because pretty soon I'd be headfirst in bag after bag again, and I am NOT going back to 259 pounds.
The most recent experience I had that illustrated how this is really a mental issue is when I went running on what my 7-year-old calls the "Circle of Death" in Portland last Sunday. It's a 3.5 mile loop trail, and I have already learned that I can run it nonstop. My normal pace is a 12 minute mile, but this past Sunday I wanted to see if I could step it up a bit. So off I went.
At first, I felt great. My legs felt very springy, like I had tons of muscle energy to spare. But, as happens every time, my chest got tight and my lungs were uncomfortable. But I kept going.
Did I mention that the day before, I had biked 19 miles at a 15 MPH pace and also ran 1.6 miles after that?
Needless to say, I didn't have a ton of energy for this. But I was determined.
I had read over and over that running is a mental game. If you think you can't, you won't. In fact, in one magazine article I read, a man was talking about how he couldn't break a certain pace until he left his usual track and ran a different one--one that didn't have the certain pace programmed into his head. He said that the change of scenery is what did it and he was finally able to break the 9-minute-mile pace he had been stuck in for months.
So I continued on, despite getting tired. I passed the 1 3/4 mile marker, and checked my watch. 20 minutes. I had bested my previous best time by one minute so far--the best I've ever done there is 42 minutes for the whole loop. If I continued this pace, I'd make it in 40.
But then I thought, I can do better than THAT. So I stepped it up even more.
Meanwhile, Maddy had a slow-speed crash on her bike, and Kent waved me forward alone. He kept Kara with him while he helped Maddy get up and put her bike to rights.
Unfortunately, this was right after I stepped up my pace, and he never did catch me after that. Plus, he had my water bottle.
So now I was into almost 30 minutes, no water, and running faster than I had ever gone before.
I wanted to stop. I had EVERY reason to stop.
First, my daughter had crashed. And though her Daddy waved me on, I wanted to see if she was OK, even though I knew she was.
Second, I was SO thirsty. I needed water. My tongue was dry and I was hot, since in deference to the cold day, I'd stupidly worn long Adidas sweatpants and a long-sleeved "wicking" running shirt.
Third, my lungs had about had it. My legs, initially quite springy, were starting to lose their energy too, and I suddenly remembered the 19 mile bike ride and 1.6 mile run the day before.
Fourth, I knew that I had run 4 miles nonstop just a couple days previously, so I knew I could easily do walking with short high-speed sprints instead and I'd get the same or better benefit.
After thinking all these things over, I actually started to pull up to walk, twice. But right before I slowed, I kicked it back into gear. I was NOT going to walk when I knew I could do this. It was my goal, after all, and I wanted to see if I could do it.
Running is a mental game, after all.
I got to the point where I was desperately counting mile-markers. I was down to six one-quarter-mile markers left to go, then five, then four...and somewhere along the line, number three got knocked down.
That was the longest half-mile of my life. I kept looking for the stupid signpost and it wasn't there! But I pushed on.
Finally I saw that I had a half mile left. I thought, if I run a 12-minute mile, that's only six minutes. I can do this for six more minutes.
When I hit one quarter mile left, I thought, three minutes. I can run for three minutes.
Then I had another thought:
If I run faster, I'll get done sooner.
OK. So that thought was almost as ridiculous as "Half this game is 90% mental." But you know, it did the trick. I took off as fast as my now-fatigued legs and lungs could take me. And when I got to the tree where we'd started, I put on my last burst of speed.
I was SPENT. But when I looked at my watch, I saw that the entire loop had taken me 37 minutes.
I had bested my previous fastest pace by FIVE minutes. I'm certainly not an expert, but shaving 5 minutes off my time seems pretty good to me!
Best of all, I managed what they call in the running/triathlon world a "Negative Split." Meaning that the second half of my run was faster (17 minutes) than my first half (20 minutes). That's pretty good in running!
So could I have walked? Certainly. It wouldn't have cost me anything. I could have freshened up, gotten some water, made sure Maddy was OK (she was), and then done sprints instead. But I wanted to see how fast I could go, and so I forged ahead. I took my 12-minute/mile pace down to a 10.5-minute mile pace. That's the fastest I think I have ever run in my life.
I wonder how fast I could go in a mile if I really kicked it? I'll have to try it and find out.
You might be wondering how my running story relates to losing weight. Strange though it may seem, it's really the perfect metaphor. You see, in the past, I would start out all motivated to lose weight, and think I was going to do it "even better" than I had before. I'd have a fast start, but when the going got tough, I'd start doubting myself.
Then something would happen to tax me mentally, physically, or emotionally, and rather than feeling the pain and redoubling my efforts, I'd pull up and quit.
The difference is that this time, I learned that it's really all about one day at a time--sounds like alcoholics anonymous, but obesity is its own form of addiction--and it's all about the mental toughness to keep going in the face of adversity.
I wasn't able to do that in the past. This time, I accepted the challenges and the pain, and if I "blew" it by eating too much one day, then that was one day out of my life. It wasn't my WHOLE life, if I didn't want it to be.
So you see, Yogi had it right. Half this game IS 90% mental. And until you get your head in the game, you cannot possibly win it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
__________________________________________________________________
I have learned a lot of lessons over the last eight months in this whole process of recovering from obesity. The most important thing I have learned, though, is that it really is up to you whether you're going to win or lose at the weight-loss game.
That wasn't something I appreciated at first, mind you. In fact, it drove me nuts. Throughout my 17 years of being unsuccessful at losing weight, I thought it was always all about willpower.
I am one stubborn person. And I thought I had all the willpower in the world. But in looking back, I can see now that I had a lot of want-power, but not a lot of willpower.
I wanted my life to change, but I did not have the willpower to change my lifestyle.
Oh, sure, don't get me wrong. I could restrict calories with the best of them. I could deny myself a cookie or those blasted Ho-Hos for a while. But eventually, not being allowed to have them made them that forbidden fruit. And we all know what that did to Eve.
But what I didn't get was that losing weight wasn't about a quick-fix, this-is-what-you-do-to-lose-weight-and-then-you-can-go-back-to-normal type of solution. I still thought losing weight was something different you did for a while. I didn't realize that it wasn't about DOING different, it was about BEING different.
I could deny and deny myself the junk food, but it wasn't until I ACCEPTED certain things that my weight started to drop consistently.
First of all, I had to accept that cookies are always going to exist, and that frankly, I like cookies, and I'm never going to give them up entirely. Ditto with chocolate.
I had to accept that I HATE egg white omelettes with a passion. What is it with egg white omelettes anyway? I swear, anyone on a diet always eats egg white omelettes. I can't stand the things--they stick like mad, for one thing, and frankly, all the good flavor is in the yolks anyway!
I had to accept that this wasn't going to happen overnight. Much as we all want that "fat-blasting" workout, the "promise" of "hot legs" in days, or losing 18 pounds in 13 days, it's not going to happen. Period.
I had to accept that, in order to effectively lose weight, I was going to have to start exercising. And not calisthenics--I needed to use up some serious calories, and that meant moving major muscle groups. If I couldn't run, I needed to at least start walking, and do it consistently.
I had to accept that there would be some things I'd never be able to change. For example, I was fat for so long, my arms are just not returning to their pre-obesity size. Sure, they're smaller, but I now have what I call "bat wings" when I stick my arms out to the side. You know what I mean--the saggy skin under the arms that dangles down and flaps in the breeze. No amount of bicep and tricep work is gonna change that, unfortunately, no matter how strong those muscles become. Kent told me the other day that I could always have some plastic surgery if my arms really bother me, but I don't have the money and, much as it sounds intriguing, I am not doing anything until I've maintained a stable weight for a couple years anyhow.
And finally, I had to accept that this was a lifestyle change. I will never go back to sitting around, eating a whole bag of Hershey's kisses or a box of Ho-Hos while drinking hot chocolate and watching episode after episode of Law and Order.
Not eating a whole bag of kisses doesn't sound so difficult, perhaps, but there are some days that all I really, really want to do is just that: eat a bag of Hershey Kisses--or a few Ho-Hos--and drink hot cocoa while watching Law and Order! It's just that, so far, I haven't gotten to the point where I NEED to do that. I have already decided that if I get to that point sometime, I'll do it. I'm human, not perfect, and if I need to eat that bag of Hershey's Kisses, I'm not going to deny myself, because pretty soon I'd be headfirst in bag after bag again, and I am NOT going back to 259 pounds.
The most recent experience I had that illustrated how this is really a mental issue is when I went running on what my 7-year-old calls the "Circle of Death" in Portland last Sunday. It's a 3.5 mile loop trail, and I have already learned that I can run it nonstop. My normal pace is a 12 minute mile, but this past Sunday I wanted to see if I could step it up a bit. So off I went.
At first, I felt great. My legs felt very springy, like I had tons of muscle energy to spare. But, as happens every time, my chest got tight and my lungs were uncomfortable. But I kept going.
Did I mention that the day before, I had biked 19 miles at a 15 MPH pace and also ran 1.6 miles after that?
Needless to say, I didn't have a ton of energy for this. But I was determined.
I had read over and over that running is a mental game. If you think you can't, you won't. In fact, in one magazine article I read, a man was talking about how he couldn't break a certain pace until he left his usual track and ran a different one--one that didn't have the certain pace programmed into his head. He said that the change of scenery is what did it and he was finally able to break the 9-minute-mile pace he had been stuck in for months.
So I continued on, despite getting tired. I passed the 1 3/4 mile marker, and checked my watch. 20 minutes. I had bested my previous best time by one minute so far--the best I've ever done there is 42 minutes for the whole loop. If I continued this pace, I'd make it in 40.
But then I thought, I can do better than THAT. So I stepped it up even more.
Meanwhile, Maddy had a slow-speed crash on her bike, and Kent waved me forward alone. He kept Kara with him while he helped Maddy get up and put her bike to rights.
Unfortunately, this was right after I stepped up my pace, and he never did catch me after that. Plus, he had my water bottle.
So now I was into almost 30 minutes, no water, and running faster than I had ever gone before.
I wanted to stop. I had EVERY reason to stop.
First, my daughter had crashed. And though her Daddy waved me on, I wanted to see if she was OK, even though I knew she was.
Second, I was SO thirsty. I needed water. My tongue was dry and I was hot, since in deference to the cold day, I'd stupidly worn long Adidas sweatpants and a long-sleeved "wicking" running shirt.
Third, my lungs had about had it. My legs, initially quite springy, were starting to lose their energy too, and I suddenly remembered the 19 mile bike ride and 1.6 mile run the day before.
Fourth, I knew that I had run 4 miles nonstop just a couple days previously, so I knew I could easily do walking with short high-speed sprints instead and I'd get the same or better benefit.
After thinking all these things over, I actually started to pull up to walk, twice. But right before I slowed, I kicked it back into gear. I was NOT going to walk when I knew I could do this. It was my goal, after all, and I wanted to see if I could do it.
Running is a mental game, after all.
I got to the point where I was desperately counting mile-markers. I was down to six one-quarter-mile markers left to go, then five, then four...and somewhere along the line, number three got knocked down.
That was the longest half-mile of my life. I kept looking for the stupid signpost and it wasn't there! But I pushed on.
Finally I saw that I had a half mile left. I thought, if I run a 12-minute mile, that's only six minutes. I can do this for six more minutes.
When I hit one quarter mile left, I thought, three minutes. I can run for three minutes.
Then I had another thought:
If I run faster, I'll get done sooner.
OK. So that thought was almost as ridiculous as "Half this game is 90% mental." But you know, it did the trick. I took off as fast as my now-fatigued legs and lungs could take me. And when I got to the tree where we'd started, I put on my last burst of speed.
I was SPENT. But when I looked at my watch, I saw that the entire loop had taken me 37 minutes.
I had bested my previous fastest pace by FIVE minutes. I'm certainly not an expert, but shaving 5 minutes off my time seems pretty good to me!
Best of all, I managed what they call in the running/triathlon world a "Negative Split." Meaning that the second half of my run was faster (17 minutes) than my first half (20 minutes). That's pretty good in running!
So could I have walked? Certainly. It wouldn't have cost me anything. I could have freshened up, gotten some water, made sure Maddy was OK (she was), and then done sprints instead. But I wanted to see how fast I could go, and so I forged ahead. I took my 12-minute/mile pace down to a 10.5-minute mile pace. That's the fastest I think I have ever run in my life.
I wonder how fast I could go in a mile if I really kicked it? I'll have to try it and find out.
You might be wondering how my running story relates to losing weight. Strange though it may seem, it's really the perfect metaphor. You see, in the past, I would start out all motivated to lose weight, and think I was going to do it "even better" than I had before. I'd have a fast start, but when the going got tough, I'd start doubting myself.
Then something would happen to tax me mentally, physically, or emotionally, and rather than feeling the pain and redoubling my efforts, I'd pull up and quit.
The difference is that this time, I learned that it's really all about one day at a time--sounds like alcoholics anonymous, but obesity is its own form of addiction--and it's all about the mental toughness to keep going in the face of adversity.
I wasn't able to do that in the past. This time, I accepted the challenges and the pain, and if I "blew" it by eating too much one day, then that was one day out of my life. It wasn't my WHOLE life, if I didn't want it to be.
So you see, Yogi had it right. Half this game IS 90% mental. And until you get your head in the game, you cannot possibly win it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part One)
I was at the grocery store the other day, and while waiting to buy my cereal, fruit and milk, I started looking over the various magazine offerings on the racks nearby. This is what I read:
"Get a Beach Body in 10 Days!"
"Kathly lost 18 pounds in 13 days!"
"Drop one pound every day!"
"Get a Flat Belly--Be Fit and Firm in 9 days!"
"Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks!"
"Eat These Fat-Melting Meals!"
"Counting Calories Doesn't Work--THIS Does!"
"Recipes That Blast Away Fat!"
...and, of course, my absolute favorite:
"Hot Legs in 6 Days! ...We Promise!"
I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. It suddenly hit me that I was reading what I now call The Big Lie that magazines perpetuate: that weight loss can be super fast, you can actually look like the highly-airbrushed cover models in mere days, and that there is some "magic bullet" that will transform your body and "blast away" the fat, leaving you one "hot" babe (or dude).
Trust me. If any of these things were even remotely true, they wouldn't be on a magazine cover. It would be the lead story on the Evening News!
Now that doesn't mean that I doubt that Kathy lost 18 pounds in 13 days. I've never met Kathy. I have nothing against her. And as for the weight loss, I'm absolutely sure she did actually lose that much. But what it doesn't say is that Kathy most likely lost a lot in water weight, or (God forbid) maybe even some muscle mass.
The magazine does NOT tell you she lost 18 pounds of FAT. You just cannot lose fat that quickly, unless you have a tummy tuck or liposuction or do some other drastic reduction method.
But we see it and we WANT it to be true. I would love to know I could lose 18 pounds in under two weeks, instead of sweating it out over 9 weeks or longer. That sort of weight loss is a dream, and we'll happily pay billions every year to find the magic bullet that will instantly solve our weight problems.
I wish someone would sue the magazines for false advertising and making promises they can't keep. Think about it: at 259 pounds, even if I religiously did the one magazine's program, there is absolutely NO way on Earth I could have HOT LEGS in 6 days...unless they really mean that my legs would be overheated from all the exercise, which is likely what they would claim if I sued them!
What makes it worse is that, here in America, we live and die by that blasted scale. If the number is up, it's bad (unless you're like my ex-brother-in-law and struggle to gain even one pound...the jerk). If the number is down, it's good. And it's all-fair, no-foul when it comes to ways to getting that number to move downward. Some of us don't even care if it is water weight, so long as that number keeps getting lower.
So we try it all. Cabbage diets. Leek soup diets. All carbs, no carbs, Atkins, Mediterranean, Sonoma...they all work, briefly. And the faster the weight loss, the more likely it was simply water weight. Read the books by the doctors and obesity experts: you just cannot lose fat that fast. The best you can hope for is one to two pounds of fat per week for most people. Sometimes it's not even that.
On top of that, these plans work in the short term because if you severely restrict calories, as many do, you lose weight, but most people in America can't keep eating a special diet forever. Reality inevitably returns, and with it the old habits. If you're truly unlucky, you restricted calories so much (under 1200 or worse) that your body went into starvation mode, driving your metabolism into the tank. Then when you return to eating in your old amounts, your body won't use it like it once did, and you gain weight even faster.
I learned all this the hard way. I didn't wake up 259 pounds one morning. I dieted my way to that weight.
As a kid, I was healthy. I weighed a normal amount. I also discovered a love of candy that I still have to this day, and I discovered as I got older that I had more of a curvy body shape than the boyish shape that was in fashion at the time.
If only Jennifer Lopez was popular when I was a teenager, I would have been set for life!
Since I had a curvy body with hips and a shapely (read: not flat) back end, I was called "bubble butt" and worse by my so-called friends. So I started dieting. I'd lose weight, look great, then go back to normal eating. I'd gain back what I lost plus some, and diet some more. The same thing would happen--lose weight, look good, go back to normal, and bam--back up, plus more besides. I have been doing that since I was at least 16 years old, if not younger; that translates into more than 25 years of dieting.
If I had just known then that DIETS DON'T WORK, I would have saved myself the hassle.
Actually, from what I understand, "diet" wasn't originally a verb; it was a noun. As in this definition from dictionary.com:
"Diet (n): a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease: a diet low in sugar."
A person trying to lose weight used to be told by their doctor to follow this particular diet, meaning selection of food. People then took that and turned it into, "My doctor has me on a diet," followed soon by "I am dieting."
Voila. Diet as a verb, and a whole institution is born.
If the various diet companies (who shall here remain nameless) really wanted us to lose the weight for good, they would have built into their Mission Statements the concept of becoming redundant. I firmly believe they like to see people succeed, but when all is said and done, it is all about the money. Always.
In their book, YOU: On a Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management, Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen say this on page 10. (No, it is NOT a "Diet", despite the title.)
"Unless you're the rare kind of person who responds to dietary drill sergeants, you won't find long-term solutions using traditional weight-loss methods; willpower, deprivation, fads, phases or dead-bolting the lid of the butter pecan. Instead, using this plan, you will train yourself to never think about what you're eating, never think about getting on a diet or worry about coming off one, and never have to figure out formulas, zones, or for the love of (fill in the diety of your choice), place a chicken breast on a food scale." (Roizen, Michael and Oz, Mehmet. YOU: On a Diet. New York: Free Press, 2006).
I read their book cover-to-cover before I started trying to lose weight (notice I didn't say diet--I have never called this a diet, and I never will...more on that later). I am not quite where they say I should be yet. I never worry about what I'm eating, I never stick chicken breast on a scale, I NEVER think about going on a diet or coming off one, but I do think about how much I'm eating. This is because, after over 25 years' worth of dieting, I am not intuitive enough yet to be able to keep track of what I've eaten throughout the day without going overboard. I'm also not that great at always remembering to eat enough fruits and veggies unless I write it down and check back later.
I realize that, and it's OK. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, thinking "shoulda, woulda, coulda". I'm allowing myself to be gentle with ME; I've only changed my life in the past 8 months. It takes longer than that to grow a baby in the womb; I can allow myself at least that long to grow a whole new me.
Click here to go to Part II
__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
"Get a Beach Body in 10 Days!"
"Kathly lost 18 pounds in 13 days!"
"Drop one pound every day!"
"Get a Flat Belly--Be Fit and Firm in 9 days!"
"Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks!"
"Eat These Fat-Melting Meals!"
"Counting Calories Doesn't Work--THIS Does!"
"Recipes That Blast Away Fat!"
...and, of course, my absolute favorite:
"Hot Legs in 6 Days! ...We Promise!"
I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. It suddenly hit me that I was reading what I now call The Big Lie that magazines perpetuate: that weight loss can be super fast, you can actually look like the highly-airbrushed cover models in mere days, and that there is some "magic bullet" that will transform your body and "blast away" the fat, leaving you one "hot" babe (or dude).
Trust me. If any of these things were even remotely true, they wouldn't be on a magazine cover. It would be the lead story on the Evening News!
Now that doesn't mean that I doubt that Kathy lost 18 pounds in 13 days. I've never met Kathy. I have nothing against her. And as for the weight loss, I'm absolutely sure she did actually lose that much. But what it doesn't say is that Kathy most likely lost a lot in water weight, or (God forbid) maybe even some muscle mass.
The magazine does NOT tell you she lost 18 pounds of FAT. You just cannot lose fat that quickly, unless you have a tummy tuck or liposuction or do some other drastic reduction method.
But we see it and we WANT it to be true. I would love to know I could lose 18 pounds in under two weeks, instead of sweating it out over 9 weeks or longer. That sort of weight loss is a dream, and we'll happily pay billions every year to find the magic bullet that will instantly solve our weight problems.
I wish someone would sue the magazines for false advertising and making promises they can't keep. Think about it: at 259 pounds, even if I religiously did the one magazine's program, there is absolutely NO way on Earth I could have HOT LEGS in 6 days...unless they really mean that my legs would be overheated from all the exercise, which is likely what they would claim if I sued them!
What makes it worse is that, here in America, we live and die by that blasted scale. If the number is up, it's bad (unless you're like my ex-brother-in-law and struggle to gain even one pound...the jerk). If the number is down, it's good. And it's all-fair, no-foul when it comes to ways to getting that number to move downward. Some of us don't even care if it is water weight, so long as that number keeps getting lower.
So we try it all. Cabbage diets. Leek soup diets. All carbs, no carbs, Atkins, Mediterranean, Sonoma...they all work, briefly. And the faster the weight loss, the more likely it was simply water weight. Read the books by the doctors and obesity experts: you just cannot lose fat that fast. The best you can hope for is one to two pounds of fat per week for most people. Sometimes it's not even that.
On top of that, these plans work in the short term because if you severely restrict calories, as many do, you lose weight, but most people in America can't keep eating a special diet forever. Reality inevitably returns, and with it the old habits. If you're truly unlucky, you restricted calories so much (under 1200 or worse) that your body went into starvation mode, driving your metabolism into the tank. Then when you return to eating in your old amounts, your body won't use it like it once did, and you gain weight even faster.
I learned all this the hard way. I didn't wake up 259 pounds one morning. I dieted my way to that weight.
As a kid, I was healthy. I weighed a normal amount. I also discovered a love of candy that I still have to this day, and I discovered as I got older that I had more of a curvy body shape than the boyish shape that was in fashion at the time.
If only Jennifer Lopez was popular when I was a teenager, I would have been set for life!
Since I had a curvy body with hips and a shapely (read: not flat) back end, I was called "bubble butt" and worse by my so-called friends. So I started dieting. I'd lose weight, look great, then go back to normal eating. I'd gain back what I lost plus some, and diet some more. The same thing would happen--lose weight, look good, go back to normal, and bam--back up, plus more besides. I have been doing that since I was at least 16 years old, if not younger; that translates into more than 25 years of dieting.
If I had just known then that DIETS DON'T WORK, I would have saved myself the hassle.
Actually, from what I understand, "diet" wasn't originally a verb; it was a noun. As in this definition from dictionary.com:
"Diet (n): a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease: a diet low in sugar."
A person trying to lose weight used to be told by their doctor to follow this particular diet, meaning selection of food. People then took that and turned it into, "My doctor has me on a diet," followed soon by "I am dieting."
Voila. Diet as a verb, and a whole institution is born.
If the various diet companies (who shall here remain nameless) really wanted us to lose the weight for good, they would have built into their Mission Statements the concept of becoming redundant. I firmly believe they like to see people succeed, but when all is said and done, it is all about the money. Always.
In their book, YOU: On a Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management, Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen say this on page 10. (No, it is NOT a "Diet", despite the title.)
"Unless you're the rare kind of person who responds to dietary drill sergeants, you won't find long-term solutions using traditional weight-loss methods; willpower, deprivation, fads, phases or dead-bolting the lid of the butter pecan. Instead, using this plan, you will train yourself to never think about what you're eating, never think about getting on a diet or worry about coming off one, and never have to figure out formulas, zones, or for the love of (fill in the diety of your choice), place a chicken breast on a food scale." (Roizen, Michael and Oz, Mehmet. YOU: On a Diet. New York: Free Press, 2006).
I read their book cover-to-cover before I started trying to lose weight (notice I didn't say diet--I have never called this a diet, and I never will...more on that later). I am not quite where they say I should be yet. I never worry about what I'm eating, I never stick chicken breast on a scale, I NEVER think about going on a diet or coming off one, but I do think about how much I'm eating. This is because, after over 25 years' worth of dieting, I am not intuitive enough yet to be able to keep track of what I've eaten throughout the day without going overboard. I'm also not that great at always remembering to eat enough fruits and veggies unless I write it down and check back later.
I realize that, and it's OK. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, thinking "shoulda, woulda, coulda". I'm allowing myself to be gentle with ME; I've only changed my life in the past 8 months. It takes longer than that to grow a baby in the womb; I can allow myself at least that long to grow a whole new me.
Click here to go to Part II
__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!
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