Inspiration!

When I feel frustrated that I backslid, when I get angry at the crap that is going on in my life with my Emotional Vampire relative, I need to rewatch The Biggest Loser finale. Oh my goodness. To see what people can do when they push, and when they stop letting the garbage in their lives hold them back...WOW. It is absolutely amazing.

Danny Cahill has to be the most inspiring person I have ever heard about or seen on TV. To see him lose 55% of his body weight in just...what, five or six months time? He went from 430 pounds to 191. And it just absolutely blows my mind.

It also really tells you what you can do, if you put your mind to it.

Anyway, I was watching the finale tonight via the internet because we don't have cable or satellite TV. I was so impressed with the progress of all these people who worked so hard to drop so many pounds. I remember being at 155, and thinking there was no way I could lose any more than that. But to see where you can go if you are willing to put in that extra little bit of work--I realize now I was self-limiting. Telling myself what I could and could not do. Was I fit and healthy, and much smaller? Oh yeah. But I think I could have managed even more, a new level of fitness and health, had I pushed just that much harder, the way the people on the Biggest Loser did.
Everyone "knows" when you go home for a week on BL, you don't lose much. Danny blew everyone away and lost 15 pounds that week that he was home. I thought, man, he did it. I could too. I just need to get my focus back.

Life gets chaotic. I let myself get pulled down by it, and I tell myself I do the best I can, which is true--I do. But when you know better, you can do better. Watching that episode...man. I think I know better. I feel all charged up, and kind of wish it was daytime so we could head out to the YMCA. If the weather tomorrow cooperates (no rain), I'll bring Kara in the jogging stroller. I used to do that earlier this year, but got out of the habit because I HATE HEAT. Ha ha. If I do that, I can get out on the road and start working up the mileage again. I want to do another half marathon--I get so charged up doing those. And I have had it with this backsliding I did.

I gained a total of 40 pounds since moving to this state, and in dealing with the emotional vampire of a certain relative of mine. In fact, just today, this person and I saw each other at a store. She looked as startled as I, and I waved at her--and she said, "Good morning." That was it. I have offered and offered to talk, I have emailed and emailed, I have tried joking around, I have tried offering to go to family counseling, I have beaten my head against the wall over and over, only to have her email to the entire family:

"The temptation to go to professional counseling is great: I'd like to see what would happen with Karina and a counselor.  And her family would benefit from her going to see one."

To ask someone over and over to talk, to tell me what I did, to listen to why I am upset, to communicate, and this is the reply--that I need to go to counseling, and that my family would benefit by it. It's truly amazing.

I have given myself the gift of letting it all go. I've listened to enough Dr. Laura to know that I don't have to continue to try to put myself into a relationship with this person, because frankly, in the year I have been here, it has never gotten better. It started with her offering us a place to live while we found a house, only to kick us out, in the middle of the month (so no rentals were available), with four days' notice. This happened just two months later.

Oh, let me rephrase--Kent and Maddy were invited to stay. She told me that the baby and I had to leave. The reason: she had to have surgery to remove a cyst, and needed "time and space" to recover. After we left it became a full hysterectomy and, since then, that's the revisionist history. "You had to go because I had major surgery." Her actions made a family with a 21 month old baby homeless, with noplace to go but two hours away by car over mountain roads to my inlaws' summer house.

And she wonders why I got angry. But despite that, I let it go, I started back at ground zero, and tried again. And again she would ignore my emails, say rude things then refuse to answer my texts, be negative whenever I tried to include her by sending her pictures. And I have so had it!

Naturally I am now the bad person because I've said that until we talk it out, she is not going to have any contact with my family. I can't risk it. My children are being asked to choose between their mother and another relative who won't talk to their mother. The baby doesn't get it, but Maddy does. I don't trust my relative and I don't particularly like her, not after the way she has acted. And watching how her children treat other people...grr.  I won't go into detail other than to say that in 53 weeks of finally having our own home in this state, my daughter's favorite cousin has never, ever called her, to say hi or talk or invite her for a play date. And it kills Maddy and it makes me mad.

So that's my chaos. And I've let it drag me down. I've eaten my feelings, and I'm tired of it. I know Danny went through that, that's how he got to 430 pounds himself. But I am still 60 pounds lighter than I was. I am not going to go back to that person--she didn't even walk, let alone run half marathons. I'm ready for the athlete in me to come back to center stage. This poor girl who's been sitting here, eating fudge or hershey's kisses en masse, who has cried too many tears over an emotional vampire, and who has beaten her head against a stubborn wall of "refusal to communicate", has had ENOUGH.

It all starts over now.

I'm going to bed. Yep, before midnight. That, alone, is a major accomplishment, and one I've not had in...months and months and months.

Tomorrow morning, my training...my LIFE begins anew.

Where will I go from here? I have been dreaming of a marathon or a half Iron Man triathlon. 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run.

The wimp is gone. The athlete remains.

Let's go kick some serious ass!

Flagging Motivation

It's been a hideous three months.

Our friend Mark passed away at the end of March; at that time, I was up to running four miles at a shot and feeling pretty good about it. But then he died and I fell apart, along with my husband.

Needless to say, I haven't run much at all since then. A couple miles here and there, but I'm all messed up inside. My days are swapped with my nights; I get all motivated and charged up at 1:30 in the morning (well, 1:42 a.m. is what it is right now), but then in the morning I can't move. Worse yet, I caught Kent's and Sylvia's cold, or whatever it was, that causes crushing headaches. I've been battling that for almost a week now.

So right now, at 1:42...no, 1:43... a.m., I'm fired up and ready to run. In seven hours, I'll just want to sleep, and my head will be exploding.

That is, if the pattern follows that of the past week.

What to do, what to do?

I couldn't sleep--again--so I got up and looked online for triathlons. Nothing like signing up for a race to get you charged.

I found one in Boise in August. I emailed Pam, and asked if she wants to do it with me. If she says yes, I'm signing up. Then I have to start getting serious.

Just...the past few months have been difficult. Kent was pinkslipped, and we didn't know if he'd be rehired. It wasn't until this past week, after school was already out, that we found out that his job was saved, and he will be rehired next year. However, then he'll be pinkslipped again. His district in Maine wants him back, though, so we'll probably return to Maine--for good this time--in July of 2010.

Thank goodness. I miss Maine, and my house. I can't wait to go back to it.

Plus of course Kent's depression over Mark's death has been difficult for everyone. I didn't know how to help; truthfully, there's not much I can do. He'll have to get through this somehow. I can't fix it for him. You aren't essentially brothers with someone for 33 years and then get over that loss overnight. As a friend said recently, "Grief isn't linear." Some days he's fine; others, he falls apart. I'm sort of that way too. It's been hard to want to move. Sometimes I simply want to watch TV or play on Facebook or read until I grow so still, moss creeps along and covers me up.

So. Motivation. What I miss is my own treadmill. It's an excuse--but I do miss that ready place to run. Sometimes it's hard to get out the door. I want to, but then I don't. And I find excuses, and the next thing I know...I'm sleeping in, or my headache plants me in one place.

But I remember the running, the feeling of strength, feeling like I had all the oxygen in the world when I was running along and felt like I was flying. No shortness of breath, no tightness in the chest...just strength and breath and life.

And I so miss that.

So this is supposed to be a blog about how I "fixed" myself, and went from obese to athlete. Except it has turned out to be a bit of a treatise on how a crappy life situation can sideline you instead. And I'm still struggling with that.

I know I can fix this. I just need to get moving and do the hard work I need to do to get back to my fit self.

The first steps: sign up for a triathlon. Hopefully with Pam. Also, sign up with the local running shop's 10K training program. That starts on Tuesday. I have to do something; if I'm forced to go, beause I paid money and people are expecting me, I'll do it. And I know myself. Once I get started, I won't be content with a little run here and there. I'll want to improve my stamina. After all, the ultimate goal is the Honolulu Marathon this December.

Actually, that's not true. The Honolulu Marathon is A GOAL. The ultimate goal is my fit, healthy, happy self. Back in Maine. I don't want to go back as I am; I want to go back as I was.

Running is the key. It just takes the first step.

Then again, all the greatest journeys in life always start with that first step.

As John Bingham would say, "Waddle on, my friends." I guess I'll be doing that literally, starting this week! :)

Go, Me!!!

The scale said WHAT? (GAH!)

Oh man oh man oh man.

Everything associated with the move to California has been a mess. My weight is just one more part of it.

I gained 20 pounds in the move, and then stopped running and gained 15 more since December.

So now I'm flirting with the edge of 200, and feeling really annoyed about it.

However, I got back on track. I got a "fitbook", which I love, as it helps me plan and keep track of my exercise and nutrition (without freaking about calories), and I've been running 3 times per week plus doing strength training once or twice a week.

I lost five pounds the first week.

I gained two the next.

And today? The scale is telling me I gained three more. Along with 2% body fat!

How is this possible?? How can a person gain two percent body fat in three days--since Friday, when last I weighed myself??

Welcome back to Frustrationland!! AGAIN!

(Sigh!)

I don't understand this. I wish I hadn't bought one of those fancy scales that gives you the body fat percentage. It's just confusing me. I might give it away and get a cheapo plain scale.

I used to have a big, glass scale we got at Brookstone, and it was simply a digital scale. But it was so huge and heavy, and you couldn't tuck it away anywhere, so I gave it away when we moved. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have it back. I tracked in the 0.1 range for weight, and as I said--it didn't do the body fat thing.

Anyway, it really makes me mad more than anything. I didn't lose 100 pounds only to regain 35 of it.

Again, not that, in the grand scheme of things, it's such a huge deal. At a size 12, I'm still way more healthy than I was at a size 20. And being able to run a 5K at an 11 minute per mile pace is pretty darn awesome too. I'm sure my cholesterol and triglycerides are doing fine, they always are when I eat lots of salmon and walnuts and all that good stuff, which I am right now. In fact, I'm actually eating disgustingly healthfully, a lot of organic, very little sugar (OK I had two...three!...cookies yesterday), and lots of "real" food. I only shop the "perimeter" of the store, where all the fresh stuff is, and rarely venture into the aisles unless I need cereal for Kent and the kids.

What I'm not doing is eating a lot of veggies, but the fitbook has a checkoff for veggies so that's helping me there.

Again, as I said, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a lot healthier than I was. I'm more fit, more active, stronger, and more capable than I was for 15 years.

However, I'm not where I was last June, and right now that's killing me. I liked being that fit; I liked being able to run 20 miles. And I liked feeling slim and small, although I must admit, my face got a little too thin. I was looking a little haggard there. Or was that the two solid weeks of packing that did it? (wink!)

I think right now what's bothering me the most is that I don't feel small like I did before. I liked that feeling. Like Kent and I weren't the same size--and frankly, for a while, we were. And right now, with my clothes the wrong size, even if they're mediums and larges (and not extra-large or 1x or 2x), I still don't feel small.

So back to the drawing board. I just finished reading a book called Real Food, by Nina Planck, and she wrote a lot of interesting things about eating real eggs and real milk and even butter, not that I want to slather all my food in a pound of butter, but certainly it's better than hydrogenated margarine.

I will keep on the pace I'm on--strength training, running, and try to add walks in where I'm not doing either. And I'm tracking my food now, so I'll be better about getting those veggies and fruits in. That's something that, frankly, I've been horrible at lately, and I know that I was eating way more of them when I was lighter. And I need to re-read YOU: On a Diet, by Dr. Oz. I did that before and it helped me to see it was all physiological.

And right now, when the scale is telling me I gained 3 pounds and 2% body fat in one weekend, I need all the help I can get to remember it's NOT the Diet Gods out to get me.

I just gotta get back in the zone of want-power; I can do this. I did it before. I will do it again.

Have fun and enjoy health!

Finding the Motivation

Today I did something I haven't done in two months.

I read Runner's World online.

To say I haven't been running puts it mildly. I haven't been doing ANYTHING.

But something I read on John "The Penguin" Bingham's blog got to me. I decided I'd post his blog (with the appropriate link), and the reply I added. I think it kinda sums it up.

Job 1: Get over my cold.
Job 2: Get running again.

Take care,
Karina
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Finding the Right Distance
"Ask the Penguin" Blog
John "The Penguin" Bingham
Runner's World, Feb. 6, 2009

Dear John,
I am 42, female, and a runner/gym enthusiast. I tried for many years to run a marathon but kept getting hurt during training. Then I decided to join running groups to help me train properly. The first time I trained with a group, in 2006, I made it to the fifth month of training but developed knee pain. Day of the marathon, I started hurting at the 6-mile mark, so I cut my race in half.

The second year of training with another running group was better. I finished five months of training without incident. But on the day of the marathon, I started cramping at mile 17. The rest of the way was very painful, with me unable to move at times and in tears.

I was tired of not finishing anything, so I just grit my teeth and kept going. I ended up finishing the race an hour over my goal with both hams, quads, and calves cramping.

After training for two marathons two years back to back, I had difficulty maintaining fitness. It seems that after I run these races, my body just bonks. Three weeks post-race, I can hardly catch my breath running just one mile, depression sets in, my resting heart rate is elevated, and I just do not have any energy. This lasts seven to 11 months. I am scared now to train for another marathon.

I have just now recovered from one of these post-marathon "bonks" a year after I ran. Needless to say, I have gained weight and lost fitness. I tried several times to get back to running, but the desire and energy were just not there. I want to get fit again. Can you help me out? - Eileen

Hi, Eileen. Thanks for writing. Some of what you’re describing is fairly typical. There is a “post marathon syndrome” in which we are mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I’ve run 45 marathons. I’ve had the exact sensation of trying to run a week or so later and wondering how in the world I ever ran 26.2 miles and how in the world did I get so out of shape so quickly.

So, as uncomfortable as you may feel, it’s not something to worry about.

Marathons have become what one writer described as “the great urban Everest.” They seem to have become the standard by which contemporary runners judge themselves. It’s unfortunate, really, because there are so many other great distances that might suit many runners better than the marathon.

The question you need to answer for yourself is, what’s your ideal race distance? What is the distance that you can enjoy both training for, and participating in? Maybe you’re a 5-K runner. You like the full-on, go-for-broke, go-hard-and-hang-on feeling that you get in a 5-K. Maybe you’re a 10-K runner. You like the artistry of finding the razor-edge between too fast and too slow.

I’ve found that I really like the half-marathon distance. It’s far enough that someone like me, who is terminally slow, can feel like we’ve accomplished something special, but no so far that I put too much stress on my body, mind, and soul.

So, find your own joy. Find the distance that gives you that joy and focus on it. My guess is that you’ll be a happier, healthier runner if you do.

Waddle on,
John

John “the Penguin” Bingham, Runner’s World columnist
Author, The Courage to Start, No Need for Speed, Marathoning for Mortals and Running for Mortals.

Have a question for John? E-mail it to thepenguin@johnbingham.com.

_______________________________________________________________
My reply: (dated Feb. 25, 2009, 5:05:24 p.m.)

I too am 42 and female...LOL there's a lot of us...and I haven't run since last December. We made a move to California from Maine which ended up being a mistake, but we're trying to deal with it...meanwhile, the upheaval of living five months out of a suitcase then the actual unpacking in December when we got a house put running dead last. Now I cannot drag myself out the door.

Prior to the move I had completed my first 20-mile run in four hours, and felt fabulous during and after. I know I can do it. So why aren't I? I would imagine some form of depression or sadness is part of it (from this horrendous relocation), stress (the daily threat of my husband losing his teaching job due to CA politics), tiredness (I have a history of anemia...but I didn't think of that as a potential cause of it), and anxiety (two houses in two states and the worry over upkeep and paying my taxes).

I know if I run, I'll run the chaos out of my brain and it will give me energy, clarity and focus...so why am I not doing it? I'm blessed because I've always run injury-free--probably because I'm also slow (and proud of it). So why can't I get out there??

Anyway, the point of this long ramble is that Eileen, you're not alone, each of us has our own running battle to fight from time to time, but in the end, running is worth it. Your email reminded me of that. I forgot how much I loved to run and that, truly, the only thing holding me back is my head. Even my toddler isn't an impediment: I've been running with her since she was 4 months old.

I would agree that you should play around and find your distance. I found that I love long distances--I can go for a couple hours and be happy as a lark--but I cannot stand 5Ks because I'm so slow and the race is over too fast. I always said that I may not be fast, but I can plod on forever.

Anyway, you can do it--and I know I can also. Time for us both to get out there and take our first baby steps! Good luck!

Posted by: Karina | Feb 25, 2009 5:05:24 PM

__________________________________________________________

Truly a good answer to myself. Now I just need to listen, and learn.

As John says, Waddle on, my friends!

Back in the Saddle...er, Treadmill...again

Here we go again!

Today was my first day back on track. Since we got here a few weeks ago, I've been checking out a bunch of fitness clubs in the area. One had great classes but the facility was really run-down and gritty. Another one had no pool, so wouldn't have worked for Maddy or ME when I am back into triathlon training. Another one had a pool, great classes, fitness focused on women, treadmills with tv screens on them...but the membership fee was $650! (You don't PAY that though...they knock it down to $480 or so through various "incentives", then you knock off $18 every month you work out...that requires a 3 year commitment at least.)

I was getting bummed but then we found the Y. WHY I didn't look before, considering we belonged to one in Maine, boggles the mind. I'll blame it on being brain-dead due to not exercising.

That same brain-dead-edness also stopped me from considering that my sister's remote control might not be programmed properly (it wasn't) until AFTER the Olympics were over...and after I programmed it properly, requiring finding appropriate codes online, I discovered SHE DOES get NBC. It didn't come in until I set the remote to find the channels automatically...and the channel did not come up when manually hitting the "up channel" button on the VCR.

So we missed the ENTIRE Olympics for nothing.

Argh!!!

Anyway, I digress.

The YMCA here is fabulous. They have the 25-yard pool (outside) and another inside for waterobics or whatever you call it. They have a nice cardio theatre and Cybex weights, and their treadmills are in the upstairs area--and they all have their own TV screens. It's called "Cardio Theatre" and it rocks!! I was bummed about not having access to my own choices on the treadmill, now that I no longer have a basement entertainment center (or a treadmill, for that matter). No problemo--I have full cable choices right at eye level, and I control them. YES!

There is a great daycare, and Kara was a real trooper for her first day there. She was there for an hour and fifteen minutes, and only called for me a couple times. She never cried, and she happily had her milky and some "cack-ows" (crackers) for snack. She was delighted to see me, though, which was gratifying!

There are also CLASSES. Did you see that? I said, there are CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been missing classes since we moved to Maine. What classes? ANY classes! I'll take whatever anyone offers! YES, my home YMCA had classes, but I never tried going to them because I had my own treadmill and I was biking on my own and swimming at the Y. So I didn't bother.

NOW, however, as I'm trying to rebuild my fitness base, I'm delighted to have the option.

Why?

Here's a secret: I know how to do ab work, but unless someone's standing over me cracking the whip, I won't do it. It's a pain, I get bored, and I need the mental/verbal direction to get me going. I'll do it if it's a class, but otherwise...no.

So there are two classes I'm going to take. One is a 1x a week ("Extreme" targeting glutes and guts), and the other is a 2x a week--Pilates/Yoga! So between those, and running 3x a week, I should be doing well within the next two months. I figure it took me two months to lose it, it'll take me 2 months to get it back. I don't have any illusions that I'll be back to running 20 miles on my LSD (Long Slow Distance) runs in just two months, but being able to run 8 to 13 at a time would be wonderful.

This morning, I was so tired I was literally almost cross-eyed. Thankfully Kara slept in, so after dropping Kent & Maddy at school, I went back home and slept for a couple more hours. I was really headachy, and felt so tired that I nearly didn't go to the Y after all. Finally, though, I remembered an old piece of advice I read on RunnersWorld.com:

If you don't feel like going, just at least get dressed, and head out the door. If you get started and still don't feel like running, turn around and go home. However, chances are that you'll feel better and be glad you went.

So I did it. I got dressed, fed the baby, and then took off for the Y. I intended to hang around the babycare area at first, but they told me they'd call me if she cried for "more than ten minutes" (MY child? Miss Sunshine?), and it was best to "dash out before she sees." So off I went. I was on a treadmill in a matter of minutes, and happily settled in at an 11 min/mile pace to the tune of HGTV on my personal video screen.

I lasted two miles.

TWO MILES! How totally pathetic is that?? OH MY GOSH! I couldn't believe it! Two months, and I go from running 20 miles comfortably to feeling like my legs are made of lead in just TWO miles!!

This is COMPLETELY unacceptable!

I had to slow to a walk (15 min/mile pace), then kicked it back up to a run for a mile. After that single mile, I had to walk again, then I ran one more. I finally had enough and walked another 20 minutes, and then that was it.

FOUR MILES. How sad! Four miles used to be my "quick dash" on the treadmill. That was a non-running day. Now that was all I could manage!

I am SO not happy. But I knew this would happen.

This is the weird thing: once you get fit, you hate losing it. And it can be utterly demoralizing and depressing, and it's so easy to say, "Oh well, crud, I blew it, I might as well have another Oreo." And I've done a LITTLE of that, but I knew that I was playing around with unhealthy food for a short period of time, and that I would rapidly getting sick of eating like that...and that soon enough, I'd be back on track. I hit that point this week...and last week when I ate a lot of M&Ms while watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

So it's time to get back into it. The classes are very exciting. I know that with my single-minded focus, which I am infamous for, I will regain my fitness soon enough. I look forward to being able to fit into my clothes better, and hopefully with the glutes/gut and the pilates/yoga, I'll be even more fit than I was before.

Is there a six pack of abs in my future? I doubt that. However, I can certainly tighten things up. And a stronger stomach will make a stronger back, eliminate my back spasms, and help my running form as well. And my shirts will look nicer, too.

So here we go. Time to kick booty again. My willpower AND my WANT-POWER are up and running!! I'm up for 2x pilates/yoga, 1x glutes/gut, and 3x running per week. The other day I'll probably swim or walk or something. Or maybe I'll just take naps. LOL.

Now I just need our house to sell so we can buy one here, and we'll be good to go.

Anyone wanna buy a house in Kennebunkport, Maine? It's really pretty and a screamingly low price for Kennebunkport!

(See that TV in the pictures? That's my basement...the treadmill used to be to the right of the picture, facing the TV...it is such a gorgeous house...!)

Happy days, everyone!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Malted Milk Balls and Other Downfalls

It has been a rough week.

Lately, and especially this week, baby Kara has been having a hard time sleeping. She wants to eat constantly.

Somehow, I can relate to that.

Anyway, the problem is that it makes for a short night, sleep-wise. I have been chronically sleep-deprived for over a year, if you count the months I was pregnant as well as the past eight months of breastfeeding. This past week has been so bad, I have had a headache nearly every day.

The problem comes in that I decided this week I'd up my calorie intake to see what happens, as I'm still not sure where my caloric needs lie. I have been going for 2000-2200 calories.

With this policy over the past four days, I have gained over two pounds.

Obviously, that's not likely, because we're actually only talking an extra 200 calories every day, and I'm exercising nearly every day on top of it. I know that part of the added pounds come from the humidity and the salt intake I've had lately, both of which have made me retain water. I know I'm retaining water because I suddenly, after one evening, cannot take off my grandmother's ring!

The real issue is that tonight, after all the tiredness, I ran into my downfall of the day:

Harry & David dark chocolate malted milk balls.

Hard to believe a little malted milk ball, at 20 calories apiece, could mess me up so badly. But somehow, that's exactly what it just did.

The tiredness (which I've discussed in a previous blog) combined with the sight of those little chocolate orbs made me say something I rarely say when it comes to food:

"Oh, what the hell!"

I ate probably 500 calories' worth of those darned little things. When I ate the last one, I dumped the bag and said, "Good, that's done."

That was a nice little diversion in calories, but now I'm annoyed!

Why did I do it?

The problem is, into all lives a little downfall must come. Everyone has an "off" day. I actually had a pretty darned good day. Not counting the malted milk balls, I stayed within my caloric limits, plus I spent 40 minutes on an elliptical trainer running my fanny off, and also spent 45 minutes doing weight machines (with Isaiah's help in ensuring my proper form) combined with two sets each of two different types of situps, where I did both sets "to failure" (read: I did them till I literally couldn't do any more).

But then came the malted milk balls. And I faltered.

The issue is, what now? Do I give up and say, well I blew it, I might as well REALLY blow it? Or do I dust myself off, tell myself "Darn that was dumb," and go back at it starting tomorrow?

Let's consider the options.

If I REALLY blow it, I'm going to have to work harder to make up for it.

If I dust myself off and go back at it starting tomorrow, I have to work a LITTLE harder, but not that much. We're really only talking an extra 200 calories for the whole day!

Which would you choose?

...OK. OK. REALLY blowing it sounds interesting, but frankly, the malted milk balls also made me sick to my stomach, so REALLY blowing it would probably make me REALLY ill. I realize some people would do that on purpose, but I'm not one of them. Bulimia never appealed to me.

Prevention Magazine says this, as one of their 100 smartest diet tips ever:

38. "I am a work in progress."

Notice it does NOT say, "I am perfect."

Being a work in progress means that into every life, a few malted milk balls must fall. Falling off the diet wagon, for one night, doesn't mean the end. It means a tiny bit of a detour, but that in itself is not unexpected, and not unmanageable.

As stated by bodyandhealth.canada.com, "Don't be deterred by gaining an extra pound or two. It was common for [diet] participants to gain an extra pound or two along the way. But those who ensured those pounds didn't add up quickly were the best at keeping the weight off."

So I gained my pound or two this week. It's happened before. It will happen again.

But you can be sure I'm not going to buy those malted milk balls again. Once was enough. I didn't enjoy eating them enough to want to repeat the experience!

Hmm. Maybe I am learning how to be thin, after all.



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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!