The Freedom to Tri

I know, I know. I misspelled "Try".

Actually I didn't.

What today's blog is about is FREEDOM. We don't think about freedom, other than freedom from worry or freedom from terrorism. But there are other freedoms too, which I didn't enjoy in my previous life as a morbidly obese woman.

The joyful part of this journey into overcoming obesity is that I have gained a new measure of freedom in my life.

I have the freedom to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I do not limit myself, ever, on any foods that I eat. I learned that being free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, means that I am not afraid of food. I do not demonize it, or put it on a pedestal. Food is food. That's all there is to it. Lettuce is not more virtuous than chocolate, and a Starbuck's Mocha is not more deadly than a cup of decaf tea. To continue to lose weight, if I have these other things, I just fit them into my day by balancing out the calories over the rest of the day or, if necessary, the rest of the week.

Oh, and one more freedom that I have about food is that I can feel comfortable eating anything in front of anyone, without wondering if people around me are judging me on what I eat and thinking unkind thoughts.

That's something that plus-sized women think about. At least, I did.

Another freedom I have is the freedom to wear pretty clothes. I am not relegated to the Women's section of Macy's which, oddly enough, is like being relegated to the back of the bus. If you want to see what I mean, go to the Macy's flagship store in Herald Square in New York. I do not think you can get any higher up or any further back in the store than the Women's section. It's on the 7th floor, and if you enter from Herald Square (as most people seem to), you have to pass through all the other departments on that floor to get to it. I wrote a whole blog yesterday about clothes, so I won't go on. But that freedom to buy clothes anywhere, and on sale, is one of the best and most unanticipated bonuses of this entire journey.

I also have the freedom to exercise without feeling uncomfortable or ungainly. I can go out and run, as I did today, and if I feel like I want to keep going, I can, without a lot of huffing and puffing (unless I'm going uphill, of course). I can push myself to go further and further, and improve, and it doesn't hurt my lungs or hurt my legs or hurt my chest. I don't get headaches and I don't feel like I'm trying to move lead. Of course, after running my first half marathon, I might feel like I'm made of lead, but that's simply because I'll be pushing myself beyond my new limits. The old obese me had such low limits that any exercise at all brought such misery. Even walking a mile with friends on the school track had me puffing so hard I thought I'd have to stop. Yet today, I ran 1.6 miles, then after a .2 mile walk, I ran another mile. Maybe that's not much to some people, but considering that before this summer, the last time I ran a mile was junior high, we have some serious breakthrough here.

Another freedom I have is the Freedom to Tri.

Ah yes. The misspelling that isn't.

"The Freedom to Tri" means that I have such health, I am going to try new adventures.

Like a Triathlon.

You may have read that blog, about my upcoming races. What this blog is about is that recovering from obesity, to me, means that I have been able to get out and do things, like the 5K I jogged and walked back in June, or the kayaking I did last weekend, or the Triathlon I'm going to run in September.

You see, this to me is the most important freedom of all. The freedom to Try (Tri). The freedom to take on new adventures. The freedom to get out and be active in all the fun ways I wanted to be before, but didn't have the health to actually do.

As I mentioned, this past weekend I actually went on a Walk-On Adventure offered by L.L.Bean. These are walk-up-and-go-as-you-are physical activities that cost $15, and run anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours. L.L. Bean provides all the equipment you need, and then gives you introductory lessons, so that you can go out and actually do the things you've always wanted to try.

So I decided, in honor of my 97 pounds lost, I was going to go kayaking. Almost two years ago, when I was at my heaviest, I tried to get into a friend's kayak up at Sebago Lake. I fell out twice and never attempted it again. This time, however, I was bound and determined to get out there in a kayak.

I was nervous, sure. I explained my lack of experience, and the guides laughed and told me not to worry, these were more stable "recreational" kayaks, and that they'd get me into the kayak on the dock and then simply slide me into the water anyway--no possibility of falling over trying to get in.

So Kent took the girls to Borders, and off I went. I got my "personal floatation device" (no longer needing the largest they had), paid careful attention as they described the paddle strokes and how to turn, slow down and stop, and then it was time to get in the kayak.

No joke. They literally did slide me backwards down a ramp from the dock right into the water. And aside from a bit of a wiggle when I got in, I was very stable.

I was so excited! It felt a bit unwieldy at first, as I tried to get out of the way of the other dozen kayakers and two guides. I even bumped someone at one point, and the guide just laughed and said the kayaks came equipped with magnets and they attracted each other.

But pretty soon, I got the hang of it. When someone dodged in front of me, I quickly backstroked to stop. When we needed to wait for others, I was able to quickly "turn on a dime" to watch for them. And when the guide told us to head out toward the channel, I was off.

I wish I could convey the excitement of being out on the water in my own kayak. Half the fun was being with other people in their kayaks...sort of like biking, but not having to stick to "our lane of traffic". We meandered, we zig-zagged, some of us went faster and some slower.

Our male guide was fantastic--he knew the history of this part of the Harrasseeket River, and told us stories about the castle turret we saw, and pointed out good restaurants to try. He showed us Osprey and had us watch as one fluttered, hovering in place, before diving for something it saw in the water. He pointed out the flock of Canada Geese--not that we needed pointing, they are unbelievably noisy as they go past overhead. And he looked for but didn't see the resident Bald Eagle.

We chatted with people in boats, hanging out on the River, and ended up going into an area that was too shallow for other boats, very close to the geese. Our paddles hit bottom, but we glided on.

And the gliding was so incredible. Sure, I worked for it, paddling this side and that, but the sensation was so smooth, so sure, and so free, that I didn't mind the work I was doing. The breeze off the surface of the water kept us cool, and I had a bottle of water to drink while we were out.

Who knew that kayaks come equipped with a water bottle holder tucked between the knees?

The hour and a half we spent on the water was over too fast. We glided back to the dock, and I was able to quickly zip over to the far side of the dock and line myself up properly to help them pull us out--again, no ungainly trying to get in and out of the kayak, so no chance I could fall in.

I would love to have a kayak, but I also recognize that, as I mentioned before, half the fun of the kayaking was being out on the water with other people. I think I would enjoy solo kayaking, but if I was going to be out on my own, I think I'd almost rather do some serious rowing, like sculling.

I've always wanted to try that, too. Maybe there's someplace in Boston I can go to give it a tri...er, a try??

Have a great evening. Go out and do something!

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers


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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!