Transitioning from Jogger to Runner

"You need to be flexible with your workouts. Some days you just don't have it, but some days you will shock yourself with your strength." -- Dotsie Cowden, U.S. National Cycling Team member
____________________________________________________________________

Dianne Jones (blue and black) and
me (in purple), running at Long
Sands Beach during the inaugural
women's only Maine Coast
Half Marathon, Sept. 23, 2007.

I have never considered myself a runner. Even when, as a teenager, I would take my walkman out for long runs around San Francisco when in town visiting my sister, I would call it "jogging". It didn't matter if I was "jogging" for three hours--I was still only jogging, because I did it slowly, and I took walk breaks.

Running, on the other hand, was something that people did when they were (a) going really fast, or (b) going really long distances without stopping.

This past Sunday, I passed the point where I can now feel comfortable calling myself a runner.

How did that happen, you ask?

Simple. I ran my first-ever half marathon.

You may recall from an earlier blog that I signed up for the inaugural Maine Coast (women's only) Half Marathon in York, Maine, to be held on September 23. When I "jogged" the York Hospital 5K in June, there was a postcard on my car window advertising this race. Instead of tossing it, I held onto it--because of two little words:

"Walkers welcome!"

Well heck. I could WALK 13 miles, I knew that I could do that. Up to this point I'd only ever walked 7 at a time, but I figured from June to September I should have been able to improve to walking 13. So I held onto the postcard.

After spending the summer in Eureka, I was comfortable jogging a couple miles, so I decided to sign up for the half marathon. I was going to sign up as a walker, but there was a proviso that said, "If you plan to jog any part of this course, you must sign up as a runner." So I did, despite being scared to death of that term.

Over the past two months, though, I improved to the point where I could jog 7 miles straight, nonstop. That was a huge breakthrough, and I was so excited to try out my "new legs" in the half marathon last Sunday.

The experience was incredible. I finally splurged and got myself a real "cool-max" tank top to wear (me? in a tank top?)--no more hot cotton. I also got some cool-max shorts at Target, on sale yet. So the morning of the race, when I lined up, I felt good. There is something to be said for dressing the part. I felt like such a real runner!

My only concern was that the race was USA Track & Field sanctioned, which means the rule is no iPods. That was a big concern because I run best when I have music. I need the distraction. Otherwise I obsess about my legs, my breathing, my side (I always get a cramp), how far I have gone, and so forth. The music takes me out of that and allows me to just go, without all the internal dialogue messing me up. Thankfully, I saw lots of other women with iPods, and nobody seemed to be policing it, so I decided to wear mine after all.

The walkers set out first at 8:30 a.m. I was nervous about this. I had visions of being the last one in--not that it would be disgraceful, as long as I finished. I just didn't want to never be able to catch any walkers. I kept trying to figure out how far I'd have to run to pass at least one walker. It was my own little "pride" thing that I still need to get out of my system, I guess.

At 9:00, we lined up on the course, and I positioned myself about 2/3 of the way back in the pack. There were so many women! I saw all shapes, sizes, colors, fitness levels, some with iPods, some without, lots of women in cool max clothing and lots and lots of women in cotton. I was pleased that I'd run with my Moms on the Run group all this time, because at least I knew the cotton wouldn't hold me back today.

When the race started, we all moved forward at a walk. There was a "chip timer" on my shoelace that would activate when I crossed the start, thereby entering my official start time, so I wasn't too worried. I had queued up my iPod to start with Keith Urban's "Days Go By", one of my favorite songs, but somehow messed it up. It was a happy coincidence, though, because when I hit the "play" button, what I got instead was Rascal Flatts' "Life is a Highway".

If you have seen the Disney/Pixar movie "Cars", you will recognize the song as the one that plays when Mack the truck drives Lightning McQueen on an all night drive to get to California for the final race to determine the winner of the Piston Cup. That scene is one of my favorites of the whole movie, because although the scene is totally computer-generated, it accurately reflects what it's like to travel long distances out on the open road.

This made it the PERFECT song choice! It started just as I crossed the Start line, and the appropriateness actually brought me to tears!

I started out at what felt like an easy pace, and watched all these women run past me. That was a bit demoralizing, but I kept thinking, so long as I'm ahead of SOMEONE, that's OK! (That's my "pride" thing talking.) I finally settled into a field of women that seemed to be going my pace.

Suddenly, a women came up alongside me, and somehow we got to talking. Her name was Dianne Jones, and she's from New Jersey. Then another lady joined us. Her name is Jen Nachbur, and she's from Vermont.

I shut off my iPod as the the three of us started talking as we were running together. Jen was running for Team in Training, and so she had scheduled walk breaks that she took, so now and again it was just Dianne and me. Yet Jen kept catching up to us, despite the fact that Dianne and I just ran without stopping.

Dianne was a bit concerned about our pace. We were on an 11-minute-mile pace, which is a bit faster than she (or I) wanted to go. But I couldn't pull up, because I was comfortable.

That still strikes me--I was comfortable running!

Another amazing thing is that I started passing people. The same women who had passed me were now walking, and I was still running...and zipping past them. I was so beyond psyched. It was such a revelation--I could run well enough to keep my pace and pass other people who had started faster than me.

Dianne and me, joking with the photographer

That was an amazing feeling. I look back now, a few days past the run, and I remember it more with a sense of gliding than pounding. I felt so strong when I was running (and passing others); I felt like I could accomplish anything. I amazed myself at my strength.

During one point in the run, one race official who was stopping traffic started laughing. He told us, "Only women could run a half marathon and still talk all the way through it!" We laughed also and I yelled back, "We're multi-talented!"

About mile six, Dianne gave me a sports jelly bean, which helped because I was getting hungry. My stomach actually growled! I drank some Accelerade when it was offered at mile 4, and then by mile 8, I was getting really hungry. Once I passed the 7 mile mark, I told Dianne and Jen, "Every single step I take now is a personal best!" I had never run that far without stopping before.

At mile 8, I was all ready for some Accelerade...but to my surprise and delight, they were also passing out something called Clif Shot Bloks, which are thick 10-gram gummy squares of carbohydrate in the form of organic brown rice syrup mixed with electrolytes. They were handing out packets of a flavor called "Margarita with salt", but I didn't even look at that. I just knew I needed some fuel, and I needed it NOW.

After drinking some Accelerade and water, I ripped open the package (while still running) and ate one of the Shot Bloks.

Oh my. It was simultaneously the worst thing I have ever tasted, and the best thing I have ever tasted.

I was half expecting some kind of sticky-sweet stuff like the "GU" and gels many runners prefer. Instead I got a shot of margarita (yum!) with a lot of salt.

How smart is the Clif company to make margarita with salt? It turns out that when you run and sweat a lot, of course you lose salt. That means as you drink water, you lose your electrolyte balance--hence the need for sports drinks like Gatorade and Accelerade. By the 8 mile mark, I must have been pretty salt-depleted, because I was already talking about walking.

Two of the Shot Bloks fixed me right up, and I was good to go. I ate two more of them over the next two miles, then just held the package in my right hand--a good idea because it stopped me from clenching my fist, which also halted any cramps in their tracks.

I later forgot all about the Shot Bloks, unfortunately, and after mile ten I dropped to a walk for one minute. I wish I'd thought to try a Shot Blok first, but the walk break was good for me. Diane kept going, but Jen was near me, so after my one-minute walk break, I started running again. I knew the last three miles would be my toughest, despite it "only being a 5K" at this point, so I used my iPod to get my groove back. That helped a lot--I ran along, singing and smiling, waving at people and shouting "THANK YOU!" to any race officials I saw.

Over the last three miles, I took a total of four one-minute walk breaks. Jen and I stayed pretty even, but Dianne was long gone.

When we rounded the last corner to take us into the final stretch, Jen and I were side-by-side. I saw Kent and the girls, waving at me as I ran past, and then I yelled to Jen, "Shall we kick it?" She said yes, and we started to SPRINT. We finished the race that way--sprinting to the end.

Jen Nachbur and me in our final sprint

I'd done it! I finished my first half-marathon, running most of the time, and my final time was 2 hours, 36 minutes and 56 seconds, which put me in at an "11 minute, 59 second per mile" pace. Another personal best.

Afterwards, we all got medals, and I immediately went to find food and stretch. While I felt great during the run, as soon as I stopped, things started to cramp up. My stomach (which my Dad later said was my diaphragm) cramped, my legs started to ache, and I had to stretch, drink, stretch, eat, stretch, stretch, and stretch some more. I thanked Jen for keeping me motivated, and I found Dianne and thanked her for not letting me stop at 8 miles (I wanted to). Both of those women were SO key in getting me through as far and as well as I did, and I will forever be grateful to them both.

The rest of the day was spent resting, eating, and smiling. I later took a 30 minute walk to help stretch my legs, and Kent presented me with a gift--a $100 bill to buy a new iPod shuffle, one of the little ones, so I wouldn't have it banging against me as I run, and I won't have the headphone cords yanked out by weight machines or the jogging stroller any longer, because it won't be hanging down the front of me. I was shocked and really thrilled, and have already loaded it up.

The color? Bright pink of course!

That day will forever be etched on my mind as a highlight of my life. It was a day I did something I swore I could never do--run over ten miles non-stop, completing a half marathon in just over 2 1/2 hours. It has inspired me as nothing else in my life ever has--except becoming a mother.

I told both Dianne and Jen about my plans to try the Honolulu Marathon. They were both absolutely certain I could, and they both encouraged me to go for it. They said the time I have until that marathon (15 months) will give me plenty of time to train properly.

They also said if I could do this, then I could definitely do a marathon.

First, however, I still have one other little matter to attend to:

The Cape Elizabeth Land Trust Challenge Triathlon. That's next Sunday.

One goal realized (half marathon); one more to go (triathlon); one new one to train for (full marathon).

I'm gonna be one busy lady.

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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

On Becoming an Athlete

"Act like the person you want to be." --M.J. Ryan
 
Never in my life have I considered myself an athletic person. Sure, I would ride bikes, swim, skate and skateboard, and even scuba dive--but I never considered myself an athlete. To me, athletes are those people who have something like 0.2% body fat, can run a marathon in fifteen minutes, swim the English Channel on a lazy Saturday, and score perfect 10s in the Olympics.

Nope. Definitely not an athlete here.

But as the CELT Challenge Triathlon looms large in my future--just 8 days away now--I am faced with the very real notion that, when it is over, I will be considered a triathlete.

Me? Not even an athlete, but a triathlete?? That's like lumping me in with those 0.2% bodyfat Olympians that I previously mentioned!

But yet it's coming. And after the past week and months of training, I know that I'm ready.

The past couple days have been tough, though. Baby Kara has been waking up every hour or so starting just after midnight, and spending at least an hour awake between 3-4 in the morning. She cries for her "woobie" (pacifier), she gets up onto her knees, she crawls around, she stands. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she just babbles, but always, she's awake and naturally that wakes us up, too.

It has made it tough for me to be motivated to go out and move. Just last Tuesday, after a particularly trying morning when she was awake from 3 am to 6 am, I finally gave up at 6 (after four hours of sleep) and let Kent take care of her while I went to the club. I did strength training only and then came home because Kent needed to go to work.

I decided that, since I was already dressed for exercise, I would go out and do some running. When I got home, however, Kara had fallen asleep. Figures! She was out until almost 9 am.

Finally, though, I strapped her into her jogging stroller--this time with the fleece liner in, as it was fairly cool out--and took off on my run.

I decided to run to Maddy's school and back; that's 5.2 miles in all. My best distance was 4 miles at ths point, so I thought 5.2 miles was a good test.

Little did I know that, despite the lack of sleep, I certainly had my athlete hat on that day. I made the 5.2 miles and still felt fresh! I wasn't moving super fast--it was about a 12.5 minute mile pace--but I felt like I could run forever. So I passed the house on my return trip and kept going the opposite direction.

Finally, after a while, I decided the baby had been out long enough. We'd been gone for an hour and 25 minutes, and I had run the entire time. I never stopped or walked. And later, when I retraced the route in my car, I found that I had run 6.8 miles.

6.8 miles?? That's the kind of distance that marathoners do! I was completely flabbergasted.

And then I realized that, what I had done (despite being exhausted) was to put into place one of my favorite quotes, from M.J. Ryan, which is at the top of this blog:

"Act like the person you want to be."

I was lying in bed, feeling tired and miserable, and though to myself, what would I do if I were an athlete, or someone who was seriously training for a big triathlon?

I'd shake the tiredness off and just go do it. So I did.

And what a result! 6.8 miles.

Doing that run, for the first time, made me feel like an athlete. I felt like a runner, not a jogger. I realized that I had the stamina to do the kind of run that "real" runners do.

And it got me excited. If I could run almost 7 miles, then what else could I do?

That morning, I decided on my big goal for 2008:

I am going to run the Honolulu Marathon in December.

Later that momentous 6.8 mile day, I told Kent my plan. He immediately started talking about logistics (would we all go or just me, where would we stay, etc.), which pleased me to no end. He didn't say no, he didn't pooh-pooh the idea, he didn't tell me I couldn't do it. He simply started to plan ahead to 15 months from now when I line up with God knows how many other people for a 26.2 mile run around Oahu.

Maybe I'm nuts. That's a big goal, and 15 months from now I might even be living in Europe (if Kent or I get a job teaching overseas, as we are thinking of doing). But I have my goal now for the winter. Rather than maintaining my fitness, I'm going to learn how to run long-distance. I am going to become a marathoner.

I can do this.

After all, in 8 days, I'll already be a triathlete!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Laughter: The Great Tranquilizer

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. --Arnold Glasow
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This past Sunday, I was having a bad day.

I have been a stay-at-home Mommy for over a year now, but for the first year we were living off of money that we had put away in advance. However, over the summer, we finally finished off those funds, and it was time to find a job, once I decided not to return to teaching. Being a Mommy to my baby girl is not something I'll ever be able to do again, so my husband encouraged me to leap at the chance while I could. Actually, what he said was, "Leap, and the net will appear," which is one of his favorite sayings.

Anyway, it took me a while, but I finally landed a job in one of my favorite book stores. I am currently undergoing training, but that didn't start until after the first of September--which means the end of the month is going to leave me a little short for my mortgage. That has been stressing me out, needless to say.

Do you want to know any of this? Probably not. But we've all been there--short on funds and not sure exactly what we're going to do next. Even if relief is just ahead, life often throws just one last hurdle in your path, and that hurdle may seem insurmountable.

So this is the mood I was in: tired (because the baby keeps waking up in the middle of the night), irritable (because I was stressed), annoyed (because I wanted to run but I didn't), and frustrated (because I hadn't been exercising daily as I planned, and I was losing motivation). Toss in a tiny pinch of despair over finances, and you pretty much have me last Sunday.

Kent told me to go ahead and go for my run, but I just couldn't get my act together. I didn't want to run--I was afraid that if I started, I'd find I couldn't run for some reason, and the next thing I'd know, I'd have lost my belief in myself.

So I waffled.

Finally, I decided that I would ride my bike instead. That seemed like a good compromise--I would get out, do some exercising, but I KNOW I can ride my bike because I've been doing it for so long. I've been a runner for such a short time, I am still not used to being able to run four miles.

So I put on my helmet and gloves, made sure my iPod Shuffle was on securely but not too loud (so I could hear traffic), loaded my water bottle with a Gatorade/water mix, and tossed into the bike pack my wallet, cell phone, nutrition bar, and the keys to my mother-in-law's condo in case I needed to go inside, as I was riding in that direction. Sunglasses on, I headed out.

The first few miles went by fairly painlessly...in fact, I decided to make it an even longer ride, and planned to ride 25 miles instead of just 15 or 20.

Pretty soon, I passed my mother-in-law's condo--mile 7.2--and headed toward Mother's Beach, in Kennebunk. I was doing well, and the music was lifting me out of my bad mood, as was the pretty day and the cool weather.

Soon enough I was tooling along at Mother's Beach, looking at the sand and surf and enjoying my ride. By this time I was motivated enough that I had started moving a little faster, at close to a 15 mph pace. All of a sudden, a trolley car passed me. These are the tourist trolleys that cruise through Kennebunk and Kennebunkport, Maine during the summertime.

Unfortunately, the trolley got caught in traffic, and suddenly I found myself riding next to the trolley while a poor tourist was trying to take a picture of the beach! I had to hang back and cruise along behind the trolley. Suddenly, it hit me how silly this was--here I was, on a bike, going at the same rate of speed as a tourist vehicle, trying valiantly to stay out of the pictures a tourist was trying to take!

I don't know WHY it was so funny, but it was, and I found myself grinning at the situation.

Later on, I was riding away from the beach when another silly thing happened:

I got attacked by a mutant killer butterfly.

The monarch butterflies are out in force, and as I was riding, one suddenly flew straight at me! I didn't have time to react, and it ended up smacking me in the chest and fluttering around there for a moment! I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I kind of sat upright on my bike and moved my head back, and whoosh! It was free.

I felt AWFUL! I know you aren't supposed to touch the butterflies because the little "feathers" of color come off on your hands, and here this poor butterfly was, flapping all over my shirt! Once it had finally gotten free, I looked back, certain I'd see it fall to the ground--but no! It was happily fluttering off toward the bushes, apparently uninjured and unconcerned.

The silliness of being attacked by a killer Monarch suddenly struck me, and I started to laugh out loud.

At that moment, the irritation, the stress, the frustration and the annoyance completely lifted, and all I felt was light and happy. I stopped thinking of the bike ride as being a job I had to do (for my triathlon training), and instead felt more like I was enjoying my hobby.

That feeling allowed me to finish the last 9 miles of my bike ride, and I came in at 25.5 miles in 1 hour and 45 minutes exactly.

The best part is that I was so relaxed that I decided to go for a "brick" workout. A "brick" is when you string two or more types of triathlon exercise together--for example, a swim and a run, a bike and a run, or even all three--swim, bike, then run. I decided to do the bike/run combination, so as soon as I got home, I jumped off my bike, guzzled what was left in my water bottle, and took off to run just to the park and back--a half mile in all.

The funny thing is that the "jelly legs" phenomenon, which usually strikes when you get off a bike and start to run, went away really quickly this time. Usually it takes me at least a quarter mile to start to feel "normal", but this time, it wasn't even a tenth of a mile and I was running comfortably. In fact, I felt like I could go forever.

So I did.

Well, I didn't exactly go forever, but I did run four miles, without stopping.

And to think that, earlier in the morning, I was convinced that there was no way I could run at all, let alone 4 miles, which is the farthest I can currently run without stopping. I felt so good, I could have kept running past the four miles, but I figured that a 25.5 mile bike ride followed by a four mile run was good enough for the day.

The best part is that by doing this, I now KNOW that I can do the triathlon. The swim is the easiest part for me--I've been swimming since I was little--and the bike is the next easiest. The run was the only thing that was scaring me. I was CONVINCED that I would never be able to jump off my bike and run a 5K, because I tried it once and could barely run a half mile.

So what happened this day? Training, I'm sure, is the biggest part of it. But I know that the sudden outburst of laughter definitely played a part. That was when I relaxed and let go of the remnants of my mood, and just began to enjoy myself. And when I did that, I had the best workout of my life, and proved to myself that I have all the skills to do this triathlon.

After all, I biked 25 miles and ran four; the triathlon requires biking 14 miles and running 3.2.

I am ready.

And when I'm in the middle of my triathlon, I'm hoping that maybe--just maybe--a certain funny little Monarch butterfly will come along again, and remind me to laugh.


____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Getting Your Head in the Game

"Half this game is 90% mental." -- Yogi Berra
__________________________________________________________________

I have learned a lot of lessons over the last eight months in this whole process of recovering from obesity. The most important thing I have learned, though, is that it really is up to you whether you're going to win or lose at the weight-loss game.

That wasn't something I appreciated at first, mind you. In fact, it drove me nuts. Throughout my 17 years of being unsuccessful at losing weight, I thought it was always all about willpower.

I am one stubborn person. And I thought I had all the willpower in the world. But in looking back, I can see now that I had a lot of want-power, but not a lot of willpower.

I wanted my life to change, but I did not have the willpower to change my lifestyle.

Oh, sure, don't get me wrong. I could restrict calories with the best of them. I could deny myself a cookie or those blasted Ho-Hos for a while. But eventually, not being allowed to have them made them that forbidden fruit. And we all know what that did to Eve.

But what I didn't get was that losing weight wasn't about a quick-fix, this-is-what-you-do-to-lose-weight-and-then-you-can-go-back-to-normal type of solution. I still thought losing weight was something different you did for a while. I didn't realize that it wasn't about DOING different, it was about BEING different.

I could deny and deny myself the junk food, but it wasn't until I ACCEPTED certain things that my weight started to drop consistently.

First of all, I had to accept that cookies are always going to exist, and that frankly, I like cookies, and I'm never going to give them up entirely. Ditto with chocolate.

I had to accept that I HATE egg white omelettes with a passion. What is it with egg white omelettes anyway? I swear, anyone on a diet always eats egg white omelettes. I can't stand the things--they stick like mad, for one thing, and frankly, all the good flavor is in the yolks anyway!

I had to accept that this wasn't going to happen overnight. Much as we all want that "fat-blasting" workout, the "promise" of "hot legs" in days, or losing 18 pounds in 13 days, it's not going to happen. Period.

I had to accept that, in order to effectively lose weight, I was going to have to start exercising. And not calisthenics--I needed to use up some serious calories, and that meant moving major muscle groups. If I couldn't run, I needed to at least start walking, and do it consistently.

I had to accept that there would be some things I'd never be able to change. For example, I was fat for so long, my arms are just not returning to their pre-obesity size. Sure, they're smaller, but I now have what I call "bat wings" when I stick my arms out to the side. You know what I mean--the saggy skin under the arms that dangles down and flaps in the breeze. No amount of bicep and tricep work is gonna change that, unfortunately, no matter how strong those muscles become. Kent told me the other day that I could always have some plastic surgery if my arms really bother me, but I don't have the money and, much as it sounds intriguing, I am not doing anything until I've maintained a stable weight for a couple years anyhow.

And finally, I had to accept that this was a lifestyle change. I will never go back to sitting around, eating a whole bag of Hershey's kisses or a box of Ho-Hos while drinking hot chocolate and watching episode after episode of Law and Order.

Not eating a whole bag of kisses doesn't sound so difficult, perhaps, but there are some days that all I really, really want to do is just that: eat a bag of Hershey Kisses--or a few Ho-Hos--and drink hot cocoa while watching Law and Order! It's just that, so far, I haven't gotten to the point where I NEED to do that. I have already decided that if I get to that point sometime, I'll do it. I'm human, not perfect, and if I need to eat that bag of Hershey's Kisses, I'm not going to deny myself, because pretty soon I'd be headfirst in bag after bag again, and I am NOT going back to 259 pounds.

The most recent experience I had that illustrated how this is really a mental issue is when I went running on what my 7-year-old calls the "Circle of Death" in Portland last Sunday. It's a 3.5 mile loop trail, and I have already learned that I can run it nonstop. My normal pace is a 12 minute mile, but this past Sunday I wanted to see if I could step it up a bit. So off I went.

At first, I felt great. My legs felt very springy, like I had tons of muscle energy to spare. But, as happens every time, my chest got tight and my lungs were uncomfortable. But I kept going.

Did I mention that the day before, I had biked 19 miles at a 15 MPH pace and also ran 1.6 miles after that?

Needless to say, I didn't have a ton of energy for this. But I was determined.

I had read over and over that running is a mental game. If you think you can't, you won't. In fact, in one magazine article I read, a man was talking about how he couldn't break a certain pace until he left his usual track and ran a different one--one that didn't have the certain pace programmed into his head. He said that the change of scenery is what did it and he was finally able to break the 9-minute-mile pace he had been stuck in for months.

So I continued on, despite getting tired. I passed the 1 3/4 mile marker, and checked my watch. 20 minutes. I had bested my previous best time by one minute so far--the best I've ever done there is 42 minutes for the whole loop. If I continued this pace, I'd make it in 40.

But then I thought, I can do better than THAT. So I stepped it up even more.

Meanwhile, Maddy had a slow-speed crash on her bike, and Kent waved me forward alone. He kept Kara with him while he helped Maddy get up and put her bike to rights.

Unfortunately, this was right after I stepped up my pace, and he never did catch me after that. Plus, he had my water bottle.

So now I was into almost 30 minutes, no water, and running faster than I had ever gone before.

I wanted to stop. I had EVERY reason to stop.

First, my daughter had crashed. And though her Daddy waved me on, I wanted to see if she was OK, even though I knew she was.

Second, I was SO thirsty. I needed water. My tongue was dry and I was hot, since in deference to the cold day, I'd stupidly worn long Adidas sweatpants and a long-sleeved "wicking" running shirt.

Third, my lungs had about had it. My legs, initially quite springy, were starting to lose their energy too, and I suddenly remembered the 19 mile bike ride and 1.6 mile run the day before.

Fourth, I knew that I had run 4 miles nonstop just a couple days previously, so I knew I could easily do walking with short high-speed sprints instead and I'd get the same or better benefit.

After thinking all these things over, I actually started to pull up to walk, twice. But right before I slowed, I kicked it back into gear. I was NOT going to walk when I knew I could do this. It was my goal, after all, and I wanted to see if I could do it.

Running is a mental game, after all.

I got to the point where I was desperately counting mile-markers. I was down to six one-quarter-mile markers left to go, then five, then four...and somewhere along the line, number three got knocked down.

That was the longest half-mile of my life. I kept looking for the stupid signpost and it wasn't there! But I pushed on.

Finally I saw that I had a half mile left. I thought, if I run a 12-minute mile, that's only six minutes. I can do this for six more minutes.

When I hit one quarter mile left, I thought, three minutes. I can run for three minutes.

Then I had another thought:

If I run faster, I'll get done sooner.

OK. So that thought was almost as ridiculous as "Half this game is 90% mental." But you know, it did the trick. I took off as fast as my now-fatigued legs and lungs could take me. And when I got to the tree where we'd started, I put on my last burst of speed.

I was SPENT. But when I looked at my watch, I saw that the entire loop had taken me 37 minutes.

I had bested my previous fastest pace by FIVE minutes. I'm certainly not an expert, but shaving 5 minutes off my time seems pretty good to me!

Best of all, I managed what they call in the running/triathlon world a "Negative Split." Meaning that the second half of my run was faster (17 minutes) than my first half (20 minutes). That's pretty good in running!

So could I have walked? Certainly. It wouldn't have cost me anything. I could have freshened up, gotten some water, made sure Maddy was OK (she was), and then done sprints instead. But I wanted to see how fast I could go, and so I forged ahead. I took my 12-minute/mile pace down to a 10.5-minute mile pace. That's the fastest I think I have ever run in my life.

I wonder how fast I could go in a mile if I really kicked it? I'll have to try it and find out.

You might be wondering how my running story relates to losing weight. Strange though it may seem, it's really the perfect metaphor. You see, in the past, I would start out all motivated to lose weight, and think I was going to do it "even better" than I had before. I'd have a fast start, but when the going got tough, I'd start doubting myself.

Then something would happen to tax me mentally, physically, or emotionally, and rather than feeling the pain and redoubling my efforts, I'd pull up and quit.

The difference is that this time, I learned that it's really all about one day at a time--sounds like alcoholics anonymous, but obesity is its own form of addiction--and it's all about the mental toughness to keep going in the face of adversity.

I wasn't able to do that in the past. This time, I accepted the challenges and the pain, and if I "blew" it by eating too much one day, then that was one day out of my life. It wasn't my WHOLE life, if I didn't want it to be.

So you see, Yogi had it right. Half this game IS 90% mental. And until you get your head in the game, you cannot possibly win it.

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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part Two)

THE BIG LIE (Continued):

There is another excellent book out there called Like Mother, Like Daughter: How Women Are Influence by Their Mother's Relationship with Food--and How to Break the Pattern by Debra Waterhouse. It is a MUST-read for any woman with children, especially girls, but I think these days it rings true for any children. It explains a lot about how our Diet Diva-ness programs our children into thinking they need to diet, too, whenever they gain a little weight. It also says on page 118:

"Dieting, not a lack of willpower or self-control, is the cause of overindulgence. In fact, just being reminded about dieting can cause us to overeat. A study at Williams College had three groups of weight-conscious women wath the movie Terms of Endearment. One group saw no commercials, one group saw food commercials, and the last group saw diet commercials. Would you like to guess which group ate the most during the movie? The diet commercial group not only ate more, they ate twice as much as the other two groups." (Waterhouse, Debra. Like Mother, Like Daughter. New York: Hyperion, 1997).

THIS is why I never use the word DIET. I have a very impressionable 7 year old. I realize that what I say and do will affect her for her entire life. I don't get on the scale and frown; I just get on and say, "Okay!" Then I invite her to get on, and admire how much she's grown. She has no fear of the scale, and no fear of food.

Yes, I am picky about sugar, but not because she (or I) will "get fat." I am picky about sugar because it's not very nutritious, and she can tell you that if you eat too much sugar, you won't eat the good foods that help you grow big and strong. I keep telling her if she eats well 90% of the time, then she can have "junk" and sugar the other ten percent, and it just won't hurt her body.

I also trained her to LOVE going to the dentist. Same theory. It's all in how you sell it to the kids.

So far even my 8 month old is happy to eat salmon, broccoli, greek yogurt and fresh fruits, among other things! Don't tell me kids and babies won't eat a variety of good-for-you foods. My oldest famously turned down chocolate while trick-or-treating one Halloween, asking for some broccoli instead.

I'm sure the poor woman who heard that request still tells the story to this day!

So to go back to the magazine issue: if the magazines are wrong at best, or misleading at worst, and dieting really doesn't work, then what the heck did I do to lose over a hundred pounds?

Lifestyle change.

It isn't exciting. It isn't sexy. It isn't fast. It isn't a magic bullet or a pill or even a promise from a magazine. Think about it--even the newest weight-loss pills can't work in isolation! You still have to change your eating patterns and move for them to "maximize" your weight loss.

But making a lifestyle change was realistic, and it's what every reputable doctor in the world has recommended for ages. And for me, it works beautifully. I mean, if I wanted to keep getting what I was getting (fatter and fatter), I should have kept doing what I was doing (unabated eating and not moving).

If I wanted something different in my life, I needed to BE different. Lifestyle change means eating and moving in a different way than I did for all those years. I had to CHANGE my LIFE STYLE!

It's as simple as that...and as difficult. Nobody likes change. It's difficult, and it's not comfortable. And we do LOVE being comfortable. I did too, but I had to decide that being fit and healthy was more important than eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

Yes, we all want to eat whatever we want. Sure, it'd be a lot more fun to eat cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting every morning than my usual bread, greek yogurt, and banana. But it would also make me jittery in short order (from all the sugar) and, unless I reduced the rest of my daily intake of calories, the 600+ calories in one average Cinnabon would rapidly lead to even more weight gain.

So I eat differently. I eat good food, or what a sports nutritionist I spoke to recently called "High-Test Fuel." She said the body is like a fine machine; junk in, junk out. You know what happens when you get water in your gas tank or, worse, someone puts sugar in the gas tank. The car won't go.

This nutritionist said that it's the same with your body. High-quality foods are defined as low-fat protein, low-fat dairy, whole-grains, healthy fats, and quality carbs (including fruits and veggies). All these are, of course, the same types of foods Drs. Oz and Roizen recommend you eat. They explain that if these foods are eaten in moderation (there is the key word!), they can help you lose weight, improve your cholesterol, and lower your blood pressure. Junk foods will junk you up; you cannot live for long on sodas, chips, and sugar before the magnificent machine starts shredding itself.

So to lose weight, what do you have to do?

This may sound simplistic, but it worked for me. If it didn't, I'd still weigh 259 pounds:

As I have read over and over in book after book, the concept I used to lose over 100 pounds so far is it takes 3500 calories to make a pound, whether it's a gain or a loss. Losing weight is about eating primarily healthy foods in the proper amounts, and the accepted wisdom in the medical community is that if you do nothing else, you at least need to create a 500 calorie deficit each day all week through calorie-watching and/or exercise in order to lose a pound at the end of that week.

But, as I've also read over and over, don't drop below 1200 calories because that's the happy trigger to slow your metabolism.

How many calories should you eat? This is the most simple method I've found yet to figure it out, as reported in both Prevention Magazine (September 2007) and by the Sports Nutritionist I spoke to last week:

Take your goal weight, and multiply it by 13 if you don't exercise. If you exercise 4 times per week for 30 minutes or more per session, multiply your goal weight by 15. If you're like me and actively training for a triathlon, exercising six times per week at 1-2 hours or more per session, you can probably get away with multiplying by 18.

Apparently, if you do nothing else, you'll eventually get to the proper weight. For me, just to be sure, I do the multiplying, then subtract that 500 calories, which for me puts me into the 1700-2100 calories range. I actually shortened it a bit more and personally aim for 1800-2000. Doing that (but some days eating as much as 2600 calories or as few as 1700), plus exercising, helped me lose that hundred pounds so far.

Here's another benefit: if you add exercise, you don't just burn more calories. Oh, no, nature does you one better than that! All that exercising will also create more muscle mass, and muscle burns more calories than fat. Think about it. Fat doesn't actually do much but just sit there! It cannot actively burn calories for you--it's stored energy! That's why you don't want to lose water or muscle mass; you want to lose fat, and gain muscle.

Water will always come back. Dehydration is a bad thing, anyway.

So talk to your doctor, read Drs. Oz and Roizen, and read Debra Waterhouse. Then try to create your caloric deficit through proper "diet" (as in your "particular selection of foods") and through moving your body.

No, you won't lose 18 pounds in 13 days; you probably won't even lose ten pounds in four weeks. In fact, you'll probably only lose a pound a week.

But the pound you lose will be ALL fat, and that's the best kind of weight to lose.
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"The only one who can tell you 'you can't' is you. And you don't have to listen." - Nike



__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part One)

I was at the grocery store the other day, and while waiting to buy my cereal, fruit and milk, I started looking over the various magazine offerings on the racks nearby. This is what I read:

"Get a Beach Body in 10 Days!"

"Kathly lost 18 pounds in 13 days!"

"Drop one pound every day!"

"Get a Flat Belly--Be Fit and Firm in 9 days!"

"Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks!"

"Eat These Fat-Melting Meals!"

"Counting Calories Doesn't Work--THIS Does!"

"Recipes That Blast Away Fat!"

...and, of course, my absolute favorite:

"Hot Legs in 6 Days! ...We Promise!"

I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. It suddenly hit me that I was reading what I now call The Big Lie that magazines perpetuate: that weight loss can be super fast, you can actually look like the highly-airbrushed cover models in mere days, and that there is some "magic bullet" that will transform your body and "blast away" the fat, leaving you one "hot" babe (or dude).

Trust me. If any of these things were even remotely true, they wouldn't be on a magazine cover. It would be the lead story on the Evening News!

Now that doesn't mean that I doubt that Kathy lost 18 pounds in 13 days. I've never met Kathy. I have nothing against her. And as for the weight loss, I'm absolutely sure she did actually lose that much. But what it doesn't say is that Kathy most likely lost a lot in water weight, or (God forbid) maybe even some muscle mass.

The magazine does NOT tell you she lost 18 pounds of FAT. You just cannot lose fat that quickly, unless you have a tummy tuck or liposuction or do some other drastic reduction method.

But we see it and we WANT it to be true. I would love to know I could lose 18 pounds in under two weeks, instead of sweating it out over 9 weeks or longer. That sort of weight loss is a dream, and we'll happily pay billions every year to find the magic bullet that will instantly solve our weight problems.

I wish someone would sue the magazines for false advertising and making promises they can't keep. Think about it: at 259 pounds, even if I religiously did the one magazine's program, there is absolutely NO way on Earth I could have HOT LEGS in 6 days...unless they really mean that my legs would be overheated from all the exercise, which is likely what they would claim if I sued them!

What makes it worse is that, here in America, we live and die by that blasted scale. If the number is up, it's bad (unless you're like my ex-brother-in-law and struggle to gain even one pound...the jerk). If the number is down, it's good. And it's all-fair, no-foul when it comes to ways to getting that number to move downward. Some of us don't even care if it is water weight, so long as that number keeps getting lower.

So we try it all. Cabbage diets. Leek soup diets. All carbs, no carbs, Atkins, Mediterranean, Sonoma...they all work, briefly. And the faster the weight loss, the more likely it was simply water weight. Read the books by the doctors and obesity experts: you just cannot lose fat that fast. The best you can hope for is one to two pounds of fat per week for most people. Sometimes it's not even that.

On top of that, these plans work in the short term because if you severely restrict calories, as many do, you lose weight, but most people in America can't keep eating a special diet forever. Reality inevitably returns, and with it the old habits. If you're truly unlucky, you restricted calories so much (under 1200 or worse) that your body went into starvation mode, driving your metabolism into the tank. Then when you return to eating in your old amounts, your body won't use it like it once did, and you gain weight even faster.

I learned all this the hard way. I didn't wake up 259 pounds one morning. I dieted my way to that weight.

As a kid, I was healthy. I weighed a normal amount. I also discovered a love of candy that I still have to this day, and I discovered as I got older that I had more of a curvy body shape than the boyish shape that was in fashion at the time.

If only Jennifer Lopez was popular when I was a teenager, I would have been set for life!

Since I had a curvy body with hips and a shapely (read: not flat) back end, I was called "bubble butt" and worse by my so-called friends. So I started dieting. I'd lose weight, look great, then go back to normal eating. I'd gain back what I lost plus some, and diet some more. The same thing would happen--lose weight, look good, go back to normal, and bam--back up, plus more besides. I have been doing that since I was at least 16 years old, if not younger; that translates into more than 25 years of dieting.

If I had just known then that DIETS DON'T WORK, I would have saved myself the hassle.

Actually, from what I understand, "diet" wasn't originally a verb; it was a noun. As in this definition from dictionary.com:

"Diet (n): a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease: a diet low in sugar."

A person trying to lose weight used to be told by their doctor to follow this particular diet, meaning selection of food. People then took that and turned it into, "My doctor has me on a diet," followed soon by "I am dieting."

Voila. Diet as a verb, and a whole institution is born.

If the various diet companies (who shall here remain nameless) really wanted us to lose the weight for good, they would have built into their Mission Statements the concept of becoming redundant. I firmly believe they like to see people succeed, but when all is said and done, it is all about the money. Always.

In their book, YOU: On a Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management, Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen say this on page 10. (No, it is NOT a "Diet", despite the title.)

"Unless you're the rare kind of person who responds to dietary drill sergeants, you won't find long-term solutions using traditional weight-loss methods; willpower, deprivation, fads, phases or dead-bolting the lid of the butter pecan. Instead, using this plan, you will train yourself to never think about what you're eating, never think about getting on a diet or worry about coming off one, and never have to figure out formulas, zones, or for the love of (fill in the diety of your choice), place a chicken breast on a food scale." (Roizen, Michael and Oz, Mehmet. YOU: On a Diet. New York: Free Press, 2006).

I read their book cover-to-cover before I started trying to lose weight (notice I didn't say diet--I have never called this a diet, and I never will...more on that later). I am not quite where they say I should be yet. I never worry about what I'm eating, I never stick chicken breast on a scale, I NEVER think about going on a diet or coming off one, but I do think about how much I'm eating. This is because, after over 25 years' worth of dieting, I am not intuitive enough yet to be able to keep track of what I've eaten throughout the day without going overboard. I'm also not that great at always remembering to eat enough fruits and veggies unless I write it down and check back later.

I realize that, and it's OK. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, thinking "shoulda, woulda, coulda". I'm allowing myself to be gentle with ME; I've only changed my life in the past 8 months. It takes longer than that to grow a baby in the womb; I can allow myself at least that long to grow a whole new me.

Click here to go to Part II

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Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!