From Obese to ATHLETE!

Stressed...overwhelmed...anxious... No. FRIED.

2011-06-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Once again I find myself in the somewhat...okay, TOTALLY...embarrassing position of having to write, "It's been a long time since I've written last..."

I look back on the last seven months and wonder how the heck I am still even somewhat coherent, let alone vertical.

Not that I mean to be whiny and annoying or anything, but recently when I went to breakfast with one of my best friends, Annie, here in Maine, she listened to my update, shook her head, and said, "You need to write a book. I can't believe you're even still able to stand up after all you've been through!"

It does seem like a lot. At least to me it does.

Let's see if I can do a short list. Just for kicks and giggles.

1) Six moves in 2 years, 7 months:
   a) Our house in Maine to my sister's in California (everything we own goes to storage)
   b) My sister's to my in-laws' summer house (stuff still in storage)
   c) My in-laws' summer house to a one-month apartment (still in storage)
   d) Apartment to our California house (movers arrive, we get our stuff back after 6 months)
   e) Our California house to my in-laws' condo in Maine (everything goes back into storage, 7 months)
   f) My in-laws' condo back to our house in Maine (and finally everything out of storage...but not out of boxes...yet...)

2) Unemployment despite 21 months of active job hunting.

3) Four bouts of MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus)

4) Plantar Fasciitis and Posterior Tibial Tendonitis at the same time

5) Repeated episodes of subacute rhinosinusitis (subacute because it lasted less than 5 weeks each time) requiring multiple (sometimes concurrent) doses of "nuclear-grade antibiotics" over several months

6) A job where my boss' final evaluation stated, in part, "I always worried about her ability to teach reading" (yet she only observed me one time for one hour...in Februrary) and "She failed to develop a rapport with her class" (the same class that gave me flowers during the graduation and half of whom cried on the last day, saying it was the "best year ever!"). This is the same person who, before I was even done with the paperwork on the last day, tracked me down and took my keys and name tag so that the latter could be destroyed. Her comment, "Don't mean to hand you your hat and say what's your hurry..." Thank heavens I planned to be done that very day and to walk out and never return...because I wouldn't have been able to in any case.

[...Okay can you tell I'm still stinging from that one? I console myself with the fact that multiple staff and teachers at that school's reaction to my frustration was, "Whoever said she was fair" and "Oh don't worry, she hates everyone." Despite this, I am still reminding myself to B-R-E-A-T-H-E on a daily basis. Annie said it best: "I hate it when people are unjust!"]

7) A washer that conked out and didn't work for four months, starting in March, which forced my husband and myself to go to the aforementioned condo to do our laundry--or to the laundromat. (More on that later!)

8) Weight gain.

9) The untimely and shocking death of my father-in-law, Jerry, after just 26 DAYS of Pancreatic Cancer.

10) A husband who was beyond stressed after over two years of total financial insecurity...he's a good hubby and dad and takes himself very seriously when it comes to supporting his family.

11) Poor food choices due to the above.

12) A daughter diagnosed with anxiety after literally 14 months of trying to get her the help she needed...the first 8 were in California, where our family doctor told her, "You just need to behave yourself" and sent us home. The good news: no more meltdowns. The bad news: a gallon of paint all over the condo garage. I will spare you the details.

13) Insomnia, depression, anxiety, burnout.

14) Random anxiety attacks striking at 3 a.m. when it seems that life is finally starting to settle down. By the way...did you know that anxiety attacks exactly mirror heart attacks? And that when they hit, it can take you and hour or two to come down off them, which means you won't sleep any more that night? And that when you have one of those, and you tell your doctor, they will stick you on anxiety meds that knock you out (at least you can sleep!) and then run EKGs and blood tests to make sure it really WASN'T a heart attack? And that as soon as you think, "Whew, I won't ever have another one of those, the stress is gone!", you will have another one, precisely because of that release of tension? Yeah. That was me two nights ago.

OK. So apparently I also have a bit of an anger issue going on here...!

Anyway, so that's what life has been like these past months.

But what does it all mean?

Well, when you get to the stage of stress and anxiety that I was in, and then marinate around in that for a prolonged period of time, what happens is that you achieve burnout.

It's no small achievement, either. Burnout, or being "Fried", is essentially the stage in which one has lost hope. Nothing feels like it matters any more. Some people call it depression, but depression is really a clinical disease, and burnout is something different.

Dr. Barnet Meltzer, author of the book Food Swings: Make the Life-Changing Connection Between the Foods you Eat and your Emotional Health and Well-Being, states that there are three stages of burnout. They are as follows:

First Degree: A person in what he calls "first-degree burnout" is inconsistent. Sometimes you feel fine, other times you suffer from lethargy, mood-wings, and so on. A person in first-degree burnout may be able to partially manage things; for example, you might start the day thinking you'll be OK, and you actually feel like you have some energy and ambition. However, as the day progresses, you fall apart, make poor choices, and lose your energy to deal with your obligations. You can suffer mild weight gain (10-20 pounds).

Second Degree: If it is not treated, first-degree burnout becomes more pronounced. In this stage, you're not only physically tired, you're psychologically tired as well. Overload has made it harder to concentrate, you get more irritable, and and you start to notice memory losses, insomnia, stomach troubles, apathy, and even sexual problems. Even though you can drag yourself through the day and manage to keep moving, it takes a lot of effort. This can cause you to start depending on alcohol, sugar, caffeine and so forth simply in order to feel like you're surviving. Dr. Meltzer states that at this point, you're going to start suffering "relatively minor infections" such as sore throats and so forth, and that these will be "hard to shake". Weight gain is "moderate"--20-50 pounds (yikes!).

Third-degree: Dr. Meltzer calls this "one step from the bottom of the staircase", and he adds simply, "it hurts." In that stage, you're exhausted, have feelings of extremely high stress levels, low energy, severe weight gain (50+ pounds), depression, anxiety, mood swings, memory loss, insomnia, negativity, illness (blood pressure, bronchitis, infections, arthritis, and more), and sexual dysfunction.

I know, you probably think, "How the heck do you come back from all of that?" That's what I was wondering. And that's why I started to read his book. But the first thing I did, which you can probably guess from the title of his book, was to start making better food choices.

The day I left that work environment for the last time, it felt like bricks had been taken off me. Not just that a weight had lifted--it was gone entirely. That actually inspired me to make a radical change in our eating habits. We haven't eaten out at restaurants or fast-food since--not even when we took a day trip. We're eating whole, healthy, real foods, including lots of fresh, organic vegetables and fruits. We're getting our milk, meat, and eggs from pastured animals. We're buying as much as possible that is local and organic or no-spray (since not everyone can afford the cost of organic certification). We've cut out processed, boxed, or bagged foods. If what is on the label of a box, bag or can isn't something I would have in the kitchen, I'm not buying it...after all, do you really want to have some chrysoine resorcinol with your dinner? What about ethyl para-hydroxybenzoate, or some good old-fashioned formaldehyde?

I've also made more of an effort to stretch and walk, especially since the plantar fasciitis kicked up again when Kent went to California after his father's diagnosis with pancreatic cancer. Yep--the car did it to me again. What had turned into a one-week trip to help his Mom and Dad after the diagnosis turned into a month away from home. Kent flew home and fought with his father's insurance company and the medical establishment in his parents' hometown. He did this all while watching his formerly robust, healthy and fit father fail completely, passing away just 26 short days after his diagnosis. Meanwhile, I stayed home with our girls, and all that driving with our stick-shift Honda brought on a recurrence of the PF. I know what to do to beat it back into submission, Dr. Noah taught me that in physical therapy, and I will share his ideas in another post.

So good food choices, more walking and stretching, a release of tension from a difficult work environment, and suddenly I'm feeling incredibly better. In fact, it took only two more days of using anti-anxiety meds to be able to go to sleep...after that, I relied on melatonin for an additional two, but I've managed to remove both of them by this point. No more sleep issues. I'm not waking hourly, nor am I having difficulty falling asleep to begin with.

I've gone from 2nd-degree (truthfully, I was one foot into third-degree!) down to 1st degree or less. I won't kid you--there are days I can't handle some things. For example, it took me a week AFTER I had started to feel and eat better to finally make myself call someone about that aforementioned washing machine that had broken down in March. Yes, March. I had so little ability to cope that it took me four months of inactivity, PLUS finally finishing out my one-year teaching contract, to be able to even think of dealing with that problem!

I promised you the story earlier (in item #7 of my "kicks and giggles" list up above), so here it is:

Originally, when the washer first inexplicably stopped working, we had called a local applicance repairman, thinking local = faster. The guy came out, literally only looked at the washer (meaning he didn't actually try to do anything to it), and then pronounced that, since it was lighting up but not doing anything (including filling with water), clearly we needed a new computer part. That two-minute diagnosis cost me $79, and the computer part would be another $400. He offered to order it on the spot, and said he'd even take the $79 off the next service.

I got suspicious. I asked him to price the part and call me...then I refused the service when he did call back with a reaffirmation of $400. I couldn't do more than fuss, though, due to the stress levels at that point (that was when Kent went to California). Eventually, during April break, I summoned the energy to look it up online. It was then I found a blog post from a woman who had the same thing happen to her, but it was a fairly new refrigerator. Her solution was to call an authorized repairman and get a second opinion. He found the real problem, solved it for $50, and she was saved hundreds. I decided I needed to do the same thing...but again, my resolve failed, and I couldn't drag myself away from the couch to actually do it.

That's how bad I was.

Finally, a week after leaving school, during which time my body and mind started to heal and recover a little, I called the company (Frigidaire) and got the name of our authorized repairman. I then called the repairman, and he came today.

He looked at the washer, poked a few buttons, leaned back, but his hand on his chin and thought for a moment, then suddenly leaned forward and pushed the "options" and "settings" buttons simultaneously. He held them for about four seconds, and then all the lights flashed once. He poked the "Start" button, and the washer started immediately.

I am so not kidding you. He apologized for having to charge me for the service call, but I told him that it was $90 well-spent. I said, "You just saved me a $400 computer part, or the cost of a new washing machine!"

All that stress, all those trips to the condo to wash laundry, the time and money and gas spent taking it to a laundromat, and the initial $79 misdiagnosis (or intentional misdiagnosis?) was solved by one man who knew what he was doing...and all it took to get him there was the energy on my part to look up and call two separate phone numbers and talk to two different people.

THAT, my friends, is exactly what burnout does to a person.

I have a total newfound appreciation for what people in the throes of depression, anxiety, and burnout go through. It's absolutely paralyzing. I would not have believed it, had I not gone through it myself. Dr. Meltzer makes the point that in this country in particular, we're expected to buck up, deal with it, get on with our lives, stop yer whining, and so on. We look at it as a badge of shame if we can't snap out of it, and look down on others as somehow less if they can't, either.

Well let me tell you, I had the energy, the motivation, the fitness, and the health. I could run 20 miles and still wish I had time for more. I had incredible cholesterol and triglyceride levels. My blood pressure was wonderful, my lung functions beautiful, and I had all the motivation in the world. And I lost it. It started with illness, segued into injury, backslid into stress, and then bottomed out with a toxic work environment. And I am not as unfit and fat as I was before...but I'm pretty damn close.

The point of this is that no matter how much you want to change, no matter how upset you are with yourself, it boils down to this idea: the human body can only do so much, and it can only bounce back so often before it starts to get a little fragile, and even start to break. Dr. Meltzer blames oxidative stress and what he calls "stressition" (as opposed to nutrition) from poor food choices, but those of course can also come from the stress itself. It's a vicious cycle, but when you're in it, it's so much easier to go after the convenient choices, most of which (unfortunately) are anything but healthy OR whole. And once you do that...well, unless you can pull out of it, you're looking at a flat spin into rock bottom.

So what's to stop it from happening again? I guess for me, it means holding myself to a higher standard for food, as a first line of defense. Not eating junk food (which is, if you think about it, truly "garbage" food) is a huge help. I discovered that a McDonald's $1 double cheeseburger may taste good--I swear they put addictive substances in those darn things--but the salt and fat in them make me feel bloated and gross the whole next day. It does take time to make a salad or some poached eggs with avocado, sprouts, and Ezekiel bread toast (my latest favorite), but actually it takes more time getting in the car, driving to McD's, getting the burger, then driving home. And when I've eaten real food, I feel so much better.

I also need to keep with the walking and stretching. I'm not consistent, but I also know it took me a long time to get to this point, and like before, slow and steady progress will get me where I want to go. I am trying to be gentle with myself and understand that as many months as it took to get here, it will take that much (maybe more) to get back. Being understanding of and forgiving of myself is honoring that inner child who, right now, is cowering in embarrassment over what the external adult might say to her.

Finally, when I'm tempted to look at the scale and swear (which is pretty much all the time right now), I just have to close my eyes, breathe deeply a few times, and remember that my mind and body went through a hell of a beatdown. I taught my students the phrase, "When you know better, you do better." In the throes of burnout, my emotional side just didn't know better. It does now. There are still stressors--where the heck am I going to work next year, how will we make it financially if I don't get a job, how can we afford two houses since the one in California not only didn't sell, but also is worth even less than it was a year ago--but without the daily one, I feel like instead of cursing the rain, I can find a way to dance through it.

I can highly recommend the book Food Swings. I am still reading it and have, already, in the first four chapters, gotten so much out of it. I don't think I necessarily agree with him about meat and milk, though...he says they are bad, but I tend to agree with Nina Planck (author of Real Food) that they are fine if they're from pastured animals, as opposed to factory farms. Still, it's got some interesting information in it, and all that is helping me to understand the journey I've been on.

Another book I'll be reading is Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive, by Joan Borysenko. I didn't originally intend it to be such a good companion to Food Swings, but it turned out to be one nonetheless. I read a few pages of Fried already, and am already noticing parallels.

So there you have it. I'm back, I'm back on track, and I am making new food and health choices. My goal is to start writing more consistently here. I'm so motivated (love that good food!) that I've actually started a new blog dealing with the food aspect of things, which is called A Year of Eating Real. I wanted some way to keep myself accountable, and to explore what Real Food means. So not only am I going to get this blog up and running again, I've gone off the deep end and am going to try to do two...simultaneously.

Yeah. I'm nuts. But hey, I do have energy once more! Woo hoo!

Have a great weekend (starting tomorrow)!

--Karina

First Day of Physical Therapy--and a New Problem!

2010-11-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. It never rains, but it pours...

I went to Physical Therapy for the first time today. The therapist was excellent. He put me through my paces, watched me walk, flexed my foot, had me push one way and try to stop him from pushing another, had me do heel raises, and on and on. I was working with him for almost 45 minutes.

At the end, he verified my doctor's diagnosis of Plantar Fasciitis...and added another.

I also am suffering from Posterior Tibialis Tendonitis--or Posterior Tibial Tendonitis, as most websites describe it.

As he told me, "You're lucky! You got a two-fer!" (lol)

So it turns out that I have "ridiculously tight calves". I told him I blamed my lack of running for a year, and ran through my history--the sinus infections, the MRSA infections, the packing and moving. He said that the calves could be super tight from any number of things, but that I am going to have that worked on.

I start Physical Therapy for real on Wednesday. Then I need to go again on Friday. Next week I'll go Monday or Tuesday, then Kent, the girls and I will be out of town for our 20th anniversary/Thanksgiving holiday. I'll start back when we return, and I will go to Physical Therapy about six weeks. Hopefully my insurance will cover it all (or, the 85% after copay).

When I explained about being out of town, and he warned me to take it easy on the walking. I explained that we'll be doing a lot of mass transit, and that when all else fails, I plan to bring the crutches to get myself off my feet. I told him, "I'm serious about getting this taken care of. I wanted it treated aggressively, that's why the shot and the physical therapy." He was actually quite pleased that I came in so early. I laughed because I was mad at myself for waiting for two weeks when I knew there was a problem! He said, however, that some people last as long as 7-10 months before calling. No way would I let this go for that long. It hurts too much when it flares up!

So he said the prognosis is good, because the shot seems to have helped a lot; the prognosis is good because I came in early. However, we'll see how the tendonitis and fasciitis respond to the therapies I have. He'll start with pretty aggressive stuff there, then start to transition me into stuff to do at home. I plan to be very serious about it; I'm not one of those to ignore what the doctor says if I have exercises or work to do at home.

Hopefully this is the first stage of healing, and that the lack of pain I've been feeling this weekend is the norm--not the exception.

It was interesting, by the way, that he poked and prodded and certain things really hurt--but only on the left. And it was interesting that after he poked and prodded, my foot started to feel quite tired and a little achy.

The new challenge, then--to find a way to exercise that is reasonable time-wise, that won't involve foot/heel impact, and then to also find a way to teach where I'm not constantly on my feet. We'll see how that goes.

Well it's nearly 11, and I'm tired, and I have school again tomorrow. Time to clear some email, then head to bed.

Best wishes,
Karina

Day One: In pain, but my Christmas Cards are finished, thanks to Shutterfly!

2010-11-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

So day one of the Plantar Fasciitis Experience has begun.

I have been spending a lot of time today resting. I keep moving my foot, and trying to stretch it a bit, but it's hard to remember.

All morning long, my youngest (who is home sick with me) has been watching Disney TV, running around taking pictures with my camera, and playing with her dress-up beads.

As for me, since I've firmly planted myself on the couch with some Aleve for my PF, I decided to go online to Shutterfly to work on my Christmas Cards.

Christmas Cards? It's only early November!

Ah, but won't the time fly, especially when I won't have this enforced time with nothing much to do once I head back to work next week.

I used Shutterfly this past May when I took a solo trip to Hawaii for my 44th birthday. Upon my return, I decided to make two photo books of my travels. I was totally delighted with how they turned out. One was a photo journal of the trip, and the second one I titled "The Art of Oahu", and it contained my favorite photos of the islands, grouped by subject--flowers, beaches, palm trees, people, and so forth.

That particular book is now on a display stand in my classroom, where I can see it every day. It's a nice reminder. I liked the books so much, I'm in the process of making two more about our move home to Maine this summer.

Today, however, my sights were firmly set on Christmas cards.

Last year, I had used Walgreens photo cards. I liked the fact that I could have a panel of four photos, and the price was reasonable, but I got something that resembled a photo rather than an actual card--you know the kind--and I decided this year, I wanted something different.

This past week, I found out about an offer for free shipping on orders over $30 for Shutterfly, so I decided to check out the cards.

What a great lineup they have! I went online to Shutterfly's Christmas card page, specifically looking for a folding card, which could handle more than four photos. I really wanted six or seven, if I could find a card that could accommodate that many. I was sorely tempted by their Holiday Story Cards, which allow you to chronicle your year right on the card, but eventually I decided to go for a straight photo card because I figured I'd just be writing a family Christmas newsletter, as I do every year.

I was very pleased when I found not just one option for multiple-photo layouts, but many. It turns out that Shutterfly has many different card layouts that will accommodate multiple photographs. The cards in this particular group, which stand in either portrait or landscape format, hold four or more photos apiece on the cover. And the prices are actually quite reasonable for personalized cards. I eventually chose "Merry and Glee" by Stacy Claire Boyd; the cost for the quantity I need to order (50) would be less than $1.50 a card, thanks to their current 20% off sale.

Add in my free shipping, and I just got a way better deal than if I'd gone to a brick-and-mortar retail store like Crane Paper Co. or Papyrus to order them.

Imagine my surprise and delight when, as I worked on putting my choice of pictures inside, I discovered I could write the inside greeting myself. There wasn't one cheesy "stock" greeting that you get stuck with. Instead, I could make a short or long comment, change the font, and even change the font size.

Then I noticed that I had an option to edit the top half of the card as well. When I clicked on it, I found that I could add more photos if I wanted, and more text, this time customizable by format, font style, and size. After experimenting around, I decided upon a six-photo inside spread with three good-sized paragraphs that cover the major events of my family for the year.

I mentioned this top-half photo-and-text layout option to my best friend a bit later, and sent her a screen shot to look at. She was impressed, then she asked me in surprise, "That didn't cost EXTRA?"

No, in fact, it didn't--the cards were still the exact same price.

What a godsend Shutterfly has turned out to be. Thanks to those three paragraphs I was allowed to write, the line at the bottom that I added with our updated contact information, and the twelve (TWELVE!!) photos I was able to put onto the card, this year--for once--I won't feel like I need to write a Christmas newsletter. It is a process that takes hours and hours of designing, writing, rewriting, revising, editing, and proofreading, not to mention the printing and folding. It also usually requires the purchase of at least one new color printer ink cartridge--often at an inconvenient time of night when the old one runs out unexpectedly and I'm in a time crunch.

Shutterfly actually just saved me a huge amount of time and money. I had lots of options to view, preview, edit, preview again, and tweak things around--the size/orientation of a photo, a word here and there--so that I am very happy that this is the best card I could possibly create.

So now I get to order them. The final cost should run about $70 for 50 cards, but again, that beats any other personalized folding 5x7 card, particularly when you add in the time and cost savings on that family newsletter.

<UPDATE: I just found out this afternoon that if you are a blogger like me, you also have the chance (like I now do!) to earn 50 free cards from Shutterfly, thanks to their current blogger promotion: Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up: http://bit.ly/sfly2010! Wow! Shutterfly really does make my life easy!>

It will be nice to simply sign the cards, stuff them in envelopes, address and mail them. Of course...if I wanted to pay a buck extra per card, Shutterfly would actually do all that for me too--except the signing, of course. Still, I have a "thing" about cards that are printed with family greetings but not signed. I'm simply not interested in it.

So it has been a productive morning. My cards are done, I found my Christmas list, and if I buy some labels, I may even be able to just import my address book into labels and just print those out as well.

Now wouldn't that be a nice time-saver.

Of course, as long as I'm battling stomach flu and PF, I have the opportunity to get stuff like this done. It's the stuff that is important but not a priority, in my professional life at least, that really gets to me--that's the stuff that hangs over me and needles me with guilty feelings.

This has truly been a week out of time. Unfortunate and, at times, filled with bad news, it has also been, at the same time, a week of slowing down. It's been a week for reorganizing my head, taking a breath, and calming down; a week to myself that I have desperately needed since the whirlwind process of packing, moving, and launching into new jobs began late last July.

July. No wonder I've felt so frazzled and like I needed get away. I needed a week to chill out, settle down, get my head on straight, breathe, and just do nothing but watch pointless tv, read, and think. Just--calm.

For once, I feel like I have caught up to myself. I'm even blogging again...how's that for cool?

This gift-week was a week I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. So I guess there really is a positive side to everything, even to something serious like this stomach flu and PF. If it hadn't come along and smacked me down and made me stop and take care of myself, I would have been focusing on a class, or cleaning, or meals, or kids, or discipline--or even correcting, errands, or bills.

Not to say I haven't done some of that stuff. I have, but I've also...chilled. And took one day, today, with my toddler, to just reminisce about what it was like to be home all day with her once more.

LOL. Maybe it's time to think about making another trip to Hawaii. February might be nice.

Meanwhile, I have a lot to write about, don't I? Hawaii, Vegas, the move, and even our new Trader Joe's...not to mention the excitement of a day that starts at 6:15 a.m. and doesn't settle down until after I get home sometime after 5 p.m., when I still have to feed, bathe, and put to bed two kids. Plus there is my eventual plan for how I am going to fit exercise and fitness into that timetable...after the PF gets better, that is.

Definitely check out Shutterfly. You can send out cool cards with your own photos, all while saving yourself time, hassle, and money.

Oh...and that free shipping code? From the Shutterfly site itself:

Free shipping on orders $30+, Promo Code SHIP30

Until next time,
--Karina

Plantar Fasciitis, Anyone?

2010-11-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not even sure how to begin this other than by saying that old cliche'--a lot has changed in a short period of time.

This past summer, after almost two years of hoping and planning and wishing and a lot of hard work, my husband Kent got a teaching job back in Maine, and we were finally able to move our little family back cross-country, by car and 24-foot rented Budget Moving van.

Did we really get that all packed in one day??

My dad and brother came along for the ride, and it was an epic six-day journey. That's right--six days!

Goodbye, California!

We will miss our family, but not the financial chaos!

Can you imagine? Two parents, a grandpa, an uncle, and two kids in a 24-foot moving van packed to the gills, and a small Honda Accord complete with two bikes on the back, driving over 3,400 miles in 6 days flat.

Kent and my brother Roy somewhere in West Virginia

The cats, of course, got to fly. Again. In my next life, I think I'll be a cat. I am firmly convinced they have it made.

We got back here, but couldn't move into our own home because it was rented out in July and won't be available until July of 2011. We then found out the condo we were going to rent--which belongs to my in-laws--was so trashed that we're still in the process of putting it back to rights. It meant massive cleaning, painting, carpet cleaning, spackling, fixing, and deodorizing. It was a mess. And there is still painting to be done.

Then, in the middle of it, while I was still trying to get organized, I got a job. A teaching job. A REAL job. I haven't taught in years, and I haven't taught fifth grade in even longer, and I was hired with exactly three days to get ready before kids arrived--and half of that time was taken up by staff meetings as well. I'm still trying to get organized there too. It's only a one-year position, so the temptation is there to just say, "Oh it's a temp job," but I don't work that way. The kids deserve nothing less than my best.

Needless to say, with the move, new job, commuting, and the chaos of two major life changes in very short order, I got yet another sinus infection! After that got better, I thought, OK, finally, we're back in business--then I ended up with some strange heel pain that came on slowly but relentlessly on the Sunday before Columbus Day. Then this week, I ended up with something unknown but tummy-related that kept me out of school all this week so far.

The good news was that since today was a holiday anyway, I was at least able to go finally see my Orthopedic doctors, the same crew I saw years ago when I had a knee problem. I hoped that the foot doc I saw today would be able to give me good news about my heel.

Instead, she immediately diagnosed me with Plantar Fasciitis.

Well that figures! I ran, what--three half marathons, two triathlons, and multiple short- and long-distance runs including a 20-miler? And NOW I get Plantar Fasciitis??

Sheesh! How completely absurd is that!

So the healing process begins. The doctor gave me a shot in my heel, and it turns out there is a LOT of inflammation there. The first stick was unpleasant, but as she pumped in what I think was a steroid, it HURT. A LOT. She nearly had to scrape me off the ceiling with a putty knife! She said if the inflammation wasn't bad, it would have gone straight in. However, my fascia is not in happy shape right now so it was bad enough to nearly make me pass out.

The shot helped for a while, and now that I'm sitting on the couch, it's starting to hurt again. She also gave me some Sore Dawg insoles for my Nikes, which have been morphed from running shoes into everyday shoes. The speed laces make them a bit tight, though, especially with these new inserts, so I think perhaps I should put in some regular laces now.

As if morphing from a triathlete/runner to a half-couch-potato teacher isn't bad enough, now I'm even losing my speed laces!!

Watching people run here in Maine has been difficult. The plantar fasciitis came on the first weekend that I actually felt like we were getting our lives under control: Columbus Day weekend. Things had settled down, I was settled into my classroom, the condo was in reasonable shape, and I was thinking about starting to walk and run again. Then Kent and I went to Boston for an evening out without kids, and the next thing you know--wham. I can't walk. Fast-forward one month and the doctor is telling me I have to take it easy until this inflammation goes away.

In two weeks, we'll be heading to New York City for Thanksgiving. That Wednesday is hubby's and my 20th anniversary, and the next day--Thanksgiving--we are thinking of taking the girls to see some of the parade. However, with plantar fasciitis, I will have to rethink exactly what we do and how long I'm on my feet. Part of the plan is to visit with my brother and go see the King Tut exhibit, but now I know that plantar fasciitis is going to put the kibosh, as they say, on all my wonderful plans.

Ah well. Rethink, change, adapt, adjust. Get healthy, stay on top of the correcting, get through this year, and hopefully get my life back.

Just one. Small. Step. At. A. Time.

That's all it takes.

My first physical therapy appointment is set for next Monday at 5; meanwhile, I need to do some stretches, use ice and an anti-inflammatory such as Advil, and when I get out of bed in the morning, I need to do some stretches, such as using an exercise band to pull my foot back or trace the alphabet with my foot.

Hopefully this will resolve soon. I don't want to wait months or, worse yet, a year for this to get better. I do also plan to get rid of my super-cute LL Bean flats in grey houndstooth check that I wore to school. I somewhat suspect that the lack of arch support in these shoes contributed to my problem. I have never worn such flat shoes before, and I have somewhat high arches. I remember being surprised as I went upstairs how completely flat they were. However, they were wicked cute, and I wore them quite a bit early on this year, but alas--they are simply not meant to be.

Instead, welcome to my new "school shoe of choice". So my shoes will not be cute, but they will be comfy--or at least as I can make them. Sometimes I wonder if even these pinch a bit. I need to ask my Physical Therapist that question on Monday.

Yours in hopefully better health soon,

--K

When Illness Knocks You Down

2010-02-15T12:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, despite your best intentions, something comes along and knocks you flat on your fanny.

The past month, I have been knocked flat on mine.

It started with stuffy nose and stuffy ears. It progressed to sinus issues. And, when I went to my doctor two weeks ago for my yearly physical, I told him about all of these these, and about the fatigue that had been plaguing me for almost a full month at that point.

He checked me over, said I seemed OK, and I was sent my merry way for blood tests, which included a thyroid check that ultimately came up negative.

I was not being a good advocate for my own health, because I let it go.

A week later, I was back--and this time I had to see the Physician's Assistant, because my doctor was booked. By this time the fatigue was worse. I was exhausted. My sinus headaches were so bad, so crushing, that advil (motrin, ibuprofen, whatever you want to call it) wasn't helping me at all. The sudafed I had been taking for two weeks was not helping me either.

Even my teeth hurt.

I was diagnosed with a bacterial sinus infection, and placed on an antibiotic. "If you aren't better in five to seven days," he said, "come back in."

It is now six days later.

I am still fighting fatigue, headaches, sinus pain and pressure, dizziness, and frustration. When I blow my nose, my sinuses actually creak. Sometimes my ears make a bubbling sound, and they are full and make popping noises all the time. I've been on sudafed for three weeks, having gone through a full box and having made some solid progress at a second, to no avail.

Clearly, the antibiotic is not working. Nor is the sudafed, for that matter.

I called the doctor, and I have an appointment to see him--not the Physicians Assistant this time--this evening at 5:15. I'm hoping he can propose a cure for this, once and for all.

So in the meantime, what have I been doing since the new year, training-wise?

Almost nothing.

Well, that's not exactly true. I was walking and running, using the treadmill on a 7-10 incline, and I even managed a 21-mile week. I even took some great "Cycleates" (Spin and Pilates mix) classes at the Y, which I enjoyed, even though they made my arms sore, apparently because of how I held myself on the bike. I'm still learning to keep "soft elbows", rather than locking them.

Right after that is when the first sinus symptoms came on, in addition to the fatigue I was already fighting, and I have been doing no training of any sort since then. Last week I didn't even take Kara to baby gymnastics, because one of the teachers is pregnant and Kara came down with her own cold. I didn't want to risk her teacher getting a virus from us--not in her 3rd trimester!

I can guarantee that, by now, any fitness gains I was making have slid away. But at this point, I frankly would rather wake up with a clear head, feeling rested and alert, and ready for the day, instead of waking up exhausted, with a headache and dizziness. All I ever want to do is sit in one place. I would almost rather lie in bed, with my eyes closed and everything quiet. All I want to do is sit absolutely still, particularly keeping my head still so that its movement doesn't compound the whirling sensations I am already fighting.

It's a sad, sad existence right now. And, with the sale of our house, I have a move to look forward to within the week--and we're doing it ourselves.

So the question is, what do you do about training when you're sick?

Do you run? Do you exercise? Or do you let well enough alone?

The Mayo Clinic advocates what I like to consider as the "rule of neck": If your symptoms are below the neck--including cough, stomach aches, muscle pain, etc., let it be. If it's all "in your head" (so to speak), fire away--so long as you don't have a fever. And, I might add, so long as you aren't dizzy. If I tried to run on a treadmill right now, I know I'd come close to falling off.

Some people have argued that running when you are sick will "sweat out toxins" and "help you fight off a cold". Not so, says Medicine.net. They argue that all you'll do is stress out your immune system further. It's got enough on its plate fighting off illness--it doesn't need to do battle with your twenty-miler as well. Imagine your body as a tired Mommy, already dealing with a hungry toddler, an annoyed pre-teen, and a husband who is avoiding the dishes. Ask that Mommy to do the laundry, go grocery shopping, cook dinner, and oh by the way get in that five-mile run, and that body of yours will go into meltdown mode.

Not that I'm projecting anything here, of course.

As you probably know, I love Runner's World magazine (and the associated website), and consider these my go-to sources for all things running. Imagine my surprise when I found the following post about sinus infections:

"But, doctors say, you still walk, or run, a fine line. Take extra caution when training with anything worse than a minor cold because it can escalate into more serious conditions affecting the lower respiratory tract and lungs. Sinus infection, or sinusitis, is an inflammation of the sinus cavity that affects 37 million Americans each year. Symptoms include runny nose, cough, headache, and facial pressure. With a full-blown sinus infection, you rarely feel like running. But if you do, consider the 72-hour rule of Jeffrey Hall Dobken, M.D.: "No running for three days," advises the allergist/immunologist and ultramarathoner in Little Silver, New Jersey. Even without the presence of a fever, says Dr. Dobken, some sinus infections, when stressed by exercise, can lead to pneumonia or, in extreme cases, respiratory failure."
- Marc Bloom, "Should You Run When You're Sick?", August 2004.

I have got to stop feeling like a failure and a giant slug. Clearly, I'm not supposed to be running right now.

But it's hard to get past the guilt when that treadmill is sitting there, waiting for me.

I guess perhaps the fatigue part of sinus infections is God's way of telling us to SIT TIGHT. Otherwise, we might be tempted to do something that could prove disastrous in the end.

Be well!

--Karina

Talking About Stress

2009-12-15T14:37:00.000-08:00

I get an email from Jillian Michaels' fitness website on a daily basis, and today's email really resonated with me. It's a perfect explanation of the impact of stress on your health and weight. Rather than try to explain it, I'm just going to reprint it here. It's brilliant. If you don't know who Jillian Michaels is, she's the trainer on the TV show, "The Biggest Loser". She's one kick-butt lady and I would love to meet her sometime.

http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/stress-and-metabolism

From LOSING IT! With Jillian Michaels

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Stress Less and Lose Weight

I'm sure you've heard of the "fight-or-flight" response, and you probably know that it's the way your body reacts to danger or stress. But do you know what's behind the fight-or-flight response? It's actually hormones.

When you're faced with danger, your adrenal glands release three hormones: norepinephrine, epinephrine (also known as adrenaline), and cortisol. Norepinephrine and epinephrine cause several changes to help you survive the danger, including a pause in insulin release so you have lots of blood sugar available for energy, an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, and a suspension of your appetite. After the danger has passed, cortisol tells the body to stop producing norepinephrine and epinephrine and stimulates your appetite again.

This response evolved to help people deal with short-term survival situations, like an attack by a predator. The trouble is, it occurs in response to all stressors, including the deadlines pummeling you at work and the traffic that drives you crazy. All that stress results in excess cortisol being built up in the blood. That cortisol just hangs around, causing lots of trouble: It turns young fat cells into mature fat cells that stick with you forever, and increases your cravings for high-fat, high-carb foods.

When you give in to those cravings, your body releases a cascade of rewarding brain chemicals that can set up an addictive relationship with food — you stress, you eat. If you don't consciously control the pattern, you can become physically and psychologically dependent on that release to manage stress. In fact, people who self-medicate with food tend to have hair-trigger epinephrine reactions and chronically high levels of cortisol.

You can help yourself keep cortisol in check by limiting caffeine intake to 200 mg a day; avoiding simple carbs, processed foods, and refined grains; and getting plenty of high-quality protein. It's also crucial that you find stress-relief techniques that work for you. If you can tame your stress response and lower cortisol levels, you'll have a much easier time losing weight.

JILLIAN'S TIP OF THE DAY
Ways to De-stress

When I'm stressed out at night and can't sleep, I get up and write down all the things that are bothering me and how I might fix them. This gets the problems off my mind and calms me down because I know I have a game plan. Some other ways to de-stress include learning to meditate, getting a massage, taking a vacation, and most important, exercising! Whatever you do, please do not take any over-the-counter "adrenal support" supplements — you could actually do more harm than good. De-stress naturally instead!

Inspiration!

2009-12-13T23:49:00.000-08:00

When I feel frustrated that I backslid, when I get angry at the crap that is going on in my life with my Emotional Vampire relative, I need to rewatch The Biggest Loser finale. Oh my goodness. To see what people can do when they push, and when they stop letting the garbage in their lives hold them back...WOW. It is absolutely amazing.

Danny Cahill has to be the most inspiring person I have ever heard about or seen on TV. To see him lose 55% of his body weight in just...what, five or six months time? He went from 430 pounds to 191. And it just absolutely blows my mind.

It also really tells you what you can do, if you put your mind to it.

Anyway, I was watching the finale tonight via the internet because we don't have cable or satellite TV. I was so impressed with the progress of all these people who worked so hard to drop so many pounds. I remember being at 155, and thinking there was no way I could lose any more than that. But to see where you can go if you are willing to put in that extra little bit of work--I realize now I was self-limiting. Telling myself what I could and could not do. Was I fit and healthy, and much smaller? Oh yeah. But I think I could have managed even more, a new level of fitness and health, had I pushed just that much harder, the way the people on the Biggest Loser did.
Everyone "knows" when you go home for a week on BL, you don't lose much. Danny blew everyone away and lost 15 pounds that week that he was home. I thought, man, he did it. I could too. I just need to get my focus back.

Life gets chaotic. I let myself get pulled down by it, and I tell myself I do the best I can, which is true--I do. But when you know better, you can do better. Watching that episode...man. I think I know better. I feel all charged up, and kind of wish it was daytime so we could head out to the YMCA. If the weather tomorrow cooperates (no rain), I'll bring Kara in the jogging stroller. I used to do that earlier this year, but got out of the habit because I HATE HEAT. Ha ha. If I do that, I can get out on the road and start working up the mileage again. I want to do another half marathon--I get so charged up doing those. And I have had it with this backsliding I did.

I gained a total of 40 pounds since moving to this state, and in dealing with the emotional vampire of a certain relative of mine. In fact, just today, this person and I saw each other at a store. She looked as startled as I, and I waved at her--and she said, "Good morning." That was it. I have offered and offered to talk, I have emailed and emailed, I have tried joking around, I have tried offering to go to family counseling, I have beaten my head against the wall over and over, only to have her email to the entire family:

"The temptation to go to professional counseling is great: I'd like to see what would happen with Karina and a counselor. And her family would benefit from her going to see one."

To ask someone over and over to talk, to tell me what I did, to listen to why I am upset, to communicate, and this is the reply--that I need to go to counseling, and that my family would benefit by it. It's truly amazing.

I have given myself the gift of letting it all go. I've listened to enough Dr. Laura to know that I don't have to continue to try to put myself into a relationship with this person, because frankly, in the year I have been here, it has never gotten better. It started with her offering us a place to live while we found a house, only to kick us out, in the middle of the month (so no rentals were available), with four days' notice. This happened just two months later.

Oh, let me rephrase--Kent and Maddy were invited to stay. She told me that the baby and I had to leave. The reason: she had to have surgery to remove a cyst, and needed "time and space" to recover. After we left it became a full hysterectomy and, since then, that's the revisionist history. "You had to go because I had major surgery." Her actions made a family with a 21 month old baby homeless, with noplace to go but two hours away by car over mountain roads to my inlaws' summer house.

And she wonders why I got angry. But despite that, I let it go, I started back at ground zero, and tried again. And again she would ignore my emails, say rude things then refuse to answer my texts, be negative whenever I tried to include her by sending her pictures. And I have so had it!

Naturally I am now the bad person because I've said that until we talk it out, she is not going to have any contact with my family. I can't risk it. My children are being asked to choose between their mother and another relative who won't talk to their mother. The baby doesn't get it, but Maddy does. I don't trust my relative and I don't particularly like her, not after the way she has acted. And watching how her children treat other people...grr. I won't go into detail other than to say that in 53 weeks of finally having our own home in this state, my daughter's favorite cousin has never, ever called her, to say hi or talk or invite her for a play date. And it kills Maddy and it makes me mad.

So that's my chaos. And I've let it drag me down. I've eaten my feelings, and I'm tired of it. I know Danny went through that, that's how he got to 430 pounds himself. But I am still 60 pounds lighter than I was. I am not going to go back to that person--she didn't even walk, let alone run half marathons. I'm ready for the athlete in me to come back to center stage. This poor girl who's been sitting here, eating fudge or hershey's kisses en masse, who has cried too many tears over an emotional vampire, and who has beaten her head against a stubborn wall of "refusal to communicate", has had ENOUGH.

It all starts over now.

I'm going to bed. Yep, before midnight. That, alone, is a major accomplishment, and one I've not had in...months and months and months.

Tomorrow morning, my training...my LIFE begins anew.

Where will I go from here? I have been dreaming of a marathon or a half Iron Man triathlon. 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run.

The wimp is gone. The athlete remains.

Let's go kick some serious ass!

I am a Trail Runner!

2009-12-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

DONE!

I am a "real" Trail Runner!

It has (again!) been a while since I wrote. I am not good about this, mostly because I don't know who the heck I'm writing for--except myself, and sometimes that seems a little narcissistic! So I keep forgetting about it, and thinking, what do I have to say, really?

But I had a nice comment (Hi Hail) and thought, you know, if this is interesting or even a little helpful, even as a one-off read, I should really keep at it. Plus it helps keep me grounded.

So the last time I wrote, I had a FAIL. Epic Fail! I tried to go for a 13 mile run, and made it all of about 6--two of which were running, and most of the rest was a walk. It was really depressing, but I was so dizzy I should have known...

I went to the doctor almost two weeks later--nobody can accuse me of hypochondria, hee hee--and it turned out I had a nasty bacterial sinus infection. NO WONDER I couldn't run. I couldn't even walk without dizziness.

One more run of antibiotics and a series of days with lots of advil and sudafed on board, and I finally got over it.

I was able to pick up running again, and had some lovely days on the treadmill, doing sprint intervals one day and on another, six miles of progressively-faster running. I felt good, as though I had a chance of succeeding at my goal: running the North Face Endurance Challenge Trail Half Marathon in Sausalito, California, on Saturday December 5.

The week of the race arrived, and saw me spending four straight days on the computer, instead of even doing any sort of taper. Two days were spent preparing a Christmas present for my parents and in-laws, and two days were spent writing articles.

Oh, yes, I forgot--I'm a writer for Lance Armstrong's LiveStrong.com, and also for Trails.com! That's fun. I'll link some articles so you can read them. Some have to do with weight loss, running, and nutrition:

Anyway, on Friday, I was TERRIFIED. Absolutely petrified! I was supposed to go to get my race packet and timing chip, but the drive to San Francisco would have entailed 7 hours on the road, and I had to be there early the next morning. I wasn't staying overnight in the Bay Area simply to save the money. I decided to pick it up the next day. As a result, I was home the whole day, stewing. I tried to go to bed, and sleep, but at 1 a.m. I was still awake, running through all the possible worst-case scenarios you might imagine. They all involved not completing the course in time. The course itself was supposed to be 13.1 or 13.2 miles, but then I had been told it was closer to 15. The hills...oh my. With the course winding through the Marin Headlands near Mt. Tamalpais, it promised to be steep. The course ranking was 5 of 5 for elevation difficulty. Technically, not as much an issue--lots of fire roads and singletrack, but nothing like running through the redwoods with the brush and roots.

I finally fell asleep just after 1, then woke up in a panic, CERTAIN I would not make the cutoff time of 4 hours. I knew there were pace charts showing split times for each aid station, and I worried that if I didn't make an aid station in time, they'd send a "sweeper" to pull me off the course.

I finally fell asleep, only to wake just before the alarm at 4. I was ready to go.

After taking a shower, having some breakfast of a banana, toast and almond butter, and some black tea spiked with agave syrup and ribose, I drove off in the dark at 4:30 a.m.

Before I left, I texted to my Facebook account: "Terrified...who am I kidding. I'm not ready for this!! OMG. but...on my way 4 better or worse..."

I was in such a dither, I missed my highway onramp. The one I always take. AND that was with the GPS on telling me what to do!

The drive over was uneventful, and I listened to the radio and tried to not lose my mind. I got in around 8 a.m. to Sausalito, and quickly found a parking spot and caught the shuttle. At the base station, I got my bib number and timing chip, and anchored it with a plastic wire tie. Then I put on my gloves because I was freezing--it was cold and a bit damp, as well as in the shade--and it was time to wait.

We were supposed to start at 9, but we were delayed because people were still arriving. At 9:15, we were finally off.

Here is the elevation chart for what I proceeded to run:

This is actually not quite the correct chart--they revised it to be more accurate, and the second mountain should be much more vertical and thinner.

The first couple miles was reasonable, but then we hit the hill and I had to walk. I just can't run up hills, not that long of one anyway. So I walked up, but then when I got up there, I was able to run again. The first peak was such fun to run down from! There were little wooden bridges and walkways, and shallow steps built into the singletrack. I felt like a gazelle bounding down them. What a blast!

At the bottom, at mile 4, the first aid station was there. I had not made great time, at 1 hour 4 minutes, but I knew the ups would kill me.

Let me tell you about ultramarathon or trail run aid stations. That was what this was. You see, my half marathon wasn't the only race being run that day. There was a 10K, and also a 50K (31 miles) and 50 MILE race. We shared an aid station with them. On a normal half marathon, you'd find water and maybe some gatorade, GU or Shot Bloks if they are sponsors of the race. Otherwise, some liquid and that's it.

This aid station had, from what I remember, water, yellow and purple drinks of some sort, brownies, cookies, bananas, bagels, chunks of cooked red potato you dip into salt, saltine crackers, and I don't remember what else. I had a saltine, they filled my handheld Fuel Belt water bottle, and then hit the bathroom before tackling hill #2--the monster.

I ran through the flats until I finally hit the uphills about ten minutes down the road. Then I was reduced to a walk. It was so steep at times I had to pause and take a breath then forge on. I was NOT ready for these hills, but I was determined to make each aid station within one hour--that was the only way I could pace myself to make it through by the cutoff time of four hours. I was off pace a bit, but the first segment was 4 miles, and each one thereafter was around 3. I felt pretty sure that, even with an uphill, I could manage a 20 minute mile pace for the next three segments.

When I got to the top, I had the singularly unpleasant realization that it was so steep, I couldn't walk down. I had to run. It was shocking and difficult! Normally you would attack a hill by almost tipping forward over your toes, and allowing the gravity to take you down the hill, very close to an out-of-control forward fall. This hill was so steep, it felt too dangerous to do that, so I ended up doing the worst thing you can do on a hill--pulling up and holding back, letting my quadriceps take the brunt of the effort. The pounding of going down that hill, the delicacy of doing so over dirt, rocks, and these giant cracks criss-crossing the track, made it almost as hard as going up had been.

I made it back to the same aid station (mile 7.2, apparently, although there was some discussion on the trail about whether this was accurate). I came in at just over an hour at 2 hours 10 minutes on my watch, and felt pretty good about my chances of making it in under 4 hours.

Despite eating some of my Shot Bloks on the second segment, I needed something. I decided to have what I thought was Gatorade...but it turns out, I didn't know what it was. It was awful, but simultaneously the best thing I ever tasted! I mentioned that, and the volunteer laughed and said, it's funny what your body wants when you're trail running! I asked what it was....

It was flat Mountain Dew.

I HATE Mountain Dew...but this day, it was like the elixir of the gods!

As I headed out, I knew the fourth, and last, segment was 2.7 miles, so I felt I was close to being done, and that the third segment was going to be fast.

Was I wrong.

The next hill was much more forgiving, in terms of angle, and yet again I had to walk. At the top, I was able to start running on the slight downhill and slight flats, walked up the 2nd ascent, and then ran down and around the corner until I hit the 3rd aid station.

At this point it was again over 3 hours (I forget how much), and I felt like I had been on the path forever. They said, though, "This is it, you've done it--2.7 more to go!"

I headed off down the hill, running for a solid ten or twelve minutes before being reduced to doing 3 minute run/20 second walk intervals. I had to slow down. My quads were trashed. I did this until the last slight uphill, then finally on the last flat, within sight of the finish line, I was able to run again.

As I came down the straightaway before making the turn down the hill to the finish, people all around me were cheering me on. It was a great feeilng. Lots of "stay strong!' and "you're almost there!" and "way to go!" There's nothing like a road race for support!

Finally, as I came to the grassy slope downward to the finish and made the right-hand turn to run it in, my right knee finally had it. It completely seized up! I thought, "Oh hell no! I'm right here, there is NO way I'm going to walk!" Even though I felt like I was crabwalking in, I finished at a run--and in a time of 3 hours, 41 minutes and 28 seconds.

I made it--I beat the cutoff time! I was the last official finisher--two more came in after me, over the official time. I feel pretty good, though, considering the fitness level of my fellow competitors and knowing I was really not well prepared for this race.

I stopped for a moment while a volunteer cut the timing chip off my shoe, and she was apologizing for making me stand there. I told her, "That's OK, my knee seized up and I can't move anyway!" After she finished, she offered to get me a chair, but I just asked to stand still for a moment. Another five seconds, and I was able to sidestep over to a grassy area, and then, bing! My knee loosened up and I was fine.

I was sore, though. My legs were toast. The quads, hips, calves...even my toes would seize up on me if I tried to curl them a bit to stretch. WOW.

I walked for a while, maybe five minutes, and ate the rest of my Luna bar that was in my pocket. I had one Shot Blok left from the trail, but it didn't sound good so I let it be. I got my bag and fished out a banana, and ate that too. That helped. Then I sat down and stretched for a while, which made me feel almost back to normal. While I was stretching, several people I had spoken to in the morning came by to say hello and congratulate me. One woman said the nicest thing to me--"You're a real trail runner now!"

What a nice comment! I guess I am, aren't I?

I went and claimed my Schwag--a gorgeous soft mint-green short-sleeved North Face technical shirt, with the North Face Endurance Challenge logo on the sleeve. It is my new favorite running shirt! I also got a new pair of technical socks, and was treated to my "finisher's beer". It was apricot ale, and was marginal; I'm not a big beer fan, except for Lost Coast Apricot Wheat at the Lost Coast Brewery in Eureka, California--so I only had half and left it behind.

Before I left, though, there were raffles, and I went to listen to the awards. The fastest half marathoners ran that thing in 1 hour and 36 minutes. CRAZY! But the best part of that was the fact that DEAN KARNAZES was there to give everyone their awards!

Dean Karnazes (center)--my inspiration! Poor photo due to backlighting, but...wow!

I was so excited--he's a legend, and my inspiration. After the awards and raffles (I didn't win), I was able to meet Dean. I explained that I just wanted to tell him that I read both of his books and loved them. I also told him that I listened to Ultramarathon Man when I ran my first 20 miler. I said it got me through, because whenever I felt down, I just listened to what he was going through, and thought, if he can deal with THAT, I can do a 20 miler!

That's when he said something that blew me away. He told me I was an inspiration!! ME?!?!?? He shook my hand, too. Wow. He told me, "Don't ever stop!" And that's one of his sayings from his book. I said, "I'm trying not to!" and he said, "Good, I can tell!"

It was a great experience!

Anyway, I went back to the car, and found out on the shuttle that the 2nd aid station was at 8 miles, not 7.2 as was originally posted. That means that whoever told me that the race was closer to 15 miles was right. The elevation chart puts the distance at 14.56 miles.

Wow.

When I got to the car I had a full change of clothes, and was never so glad to clean up and change at the park's bathrooms. Especially my socks--they were so brown from the trail! I got back in the car, called my Dad to tell him what I'd been doing that morning, and headed back. I made a stop in Vacaville for Rubio's steak tacos and a peppermint mocha from Borders Books & Music cafe'. Then I headed home, making it in by 7 p.m. Total time round-trip: 14 1/2 hours, 3 1/2 of which were on the trail and 7 on the road.

The next day was interesting. I couldn't walk very well. It took me a couple days, but I'm now 100% back to normal. My hips, quads and calves have recovered, and I am ready to get back to the treadmill.

After all, there is another half marathon coming up in the spring! I don't know which one, but...it doesn't matter. I'll find one, and I'm there!

What a fantastic experience. If we are still in California next year, I'm doing this one again. Only this time, I'll train for the hills. I know what to expect, now.

Have a great day...and, DON'T EVER STOP!

FAIL

2009-10-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days.

You know the ones...you start out with a grand goal, set out with the best of intentions to implement the steps it takes to get to that goal...and then you fall spectacularly flat on your face, well short of where you had hoped to be.

In other words:

FAIL.

In the running world, when this happens in a race, it's called a "DNS" or "DNF"--short for, "Did Not Start" or "Did Not Finish". In triathlons, marathons, or ultras, it is akin to the kiss of death.

And yet...

We've all had these days. Even elites such as Dean Karnazes, the ultramarathoner, or Deena Kastor, American marathon Olympian, have gotten a DNF in major races. Deena broke her foot in Beijing in 2008, just near the start of her race, and ended up riding in the "sag wagon" for the entire race. Karno got a DNF in this year's Western States 100 Mile Endurance Run, dropping out at mile 62, well short of the mileage of which we all know he is capable.

And as for me, I got a DNF in my training run yesterday.

I know, it was a training run. Realistically, it is not the same thing at all. However, I have been working very hard the last couple months, trying to build up my endurance and speed after almost a year of not running consistently.

Although I have not updated this blog as much as I should have, I have had several stutter-starts at beginning my training over the past six months. Three months ago, I had the unfortunate experience of having a bug bite get infected with MRSA, the highly dangerous antibiotic-resistant staph infection that is becoming more widespread in this country. Luckily for me, the urgent care doc I saw "had a hunch" and decided to put me on an antibiotic that, it turned out, was the only one capable of killing the particular strain of staph I had, although that didn't make the whole process easy, or fast.

48 days later, I took my last antibiotic, and was finally cleared to start running.

That was two months ago, and so far I've worked myself up to be able to participate in the Bridge-to-Bridge 12K in San Francisco on Sunday, October 4, where I ran 1:33. It was over a 12-minute mile, but it was 7.3 miles of running with only two walk breaks. I was very pleased with my improvement.

That brought me up to yesterday. I'd had two excellent runs earlier in the week--a 4-mile tempo run, and 1.5 miles of intervals bookended with two 2-mile runs. I thought for sure, knowing that my longest training mileage so far as been 11 miles, that I could manage a 13 mile run. My goal: run to my daughter's school and back, twice. With the ugly hills. I set my alarm for 7 a.m., got my stuff all ready to go, and went to bed by 11.

Then I slept in until noon.

Now, knowing that I have a toddler and a 9-year-old, you know that's highly unusual on its own. However, I just could not get up. I was exhausted! When I finally did, I felt horrible. I was dreading the run, which is something I have only ever experienced once, when I was getting ready to run 20 miles for the first time in my life. But even then, once I got going, I was OK.

Not so yesterday. As I left the house, I was still muttering, "I am so dreading this." However, I was determined to get out there. I figured that, as usual, I'd feel better once I got going. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

I ran the first couple miles. And my legs and lungs felt pretty darn good, even up the hills. However, my head felt dizzy and stuffy, like the top half of it was filled with tightly packed sludge. After almost 2 1/2 miles, I had to walk.

I made the first half of the first loop, 3.3 miles, in 43 minutes, walking the last mile or so. Then I turned around and headed back. My head felt so dizzy, I was on the verge of tears, nauseated, and worried I might throw up. I walked almost all the way home, but out of sheer anger I ran up every one of the big hills, dizziness or not. I was NOT going to let the hills beat me too, even if my body/brain were not being very cooperative.

I made it home, and quit. 6.6 miles in 1 hour, 40 minutes.

I was so frustrated and angry. But what can you do?

Dean Karnazes said in his blog, after his spectacular fail at the Western States, "What constitutes a life worth living? Is it high achievement? What I’ve come to believe is that more than anything, it’s having the courage to try."

Reading those words this morning brought me up short. Yes, I failed in my attempt. However, by Dean's reckoning, perhaps yesterday wasn't really so much a fail after all.

No matter what else happened yesterday, I will know that, despite feeling terrible, being tired and dreading the run, I did have the courage to try.

When have you had the courage to try?

________________________________________

WICKED Coolness! :)

2009-07-02T22:20:00.001-07:00

I am sitting here grinning like an utter fool!

What, pray tell, has me all excited?

Two things, actually!

The first cool thing is that that just now, after looking up a sports nutrition article on a blog called "Frayed Laces", I decided to do a quick search for my own blog. In doing so, I found that my blog, this blog, has been reviewed! On the blogged.com directory of obesity websites in the health/nutrition group, my blog, which I admittedly am quite lax at updating, was reviewed at a 7.9 "Very Good"! I'm #13 on the list! I was so excited, I ran over to show Kent. He was very proud of me too! So I will count that as a "publish", along with the book review of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle that I wrote for the New England newspaper last May. That makes me feel quite accomplished!

The second cool thing has to do with my running. No, I didn't run today. Or yesterday. However, I did swim...50 lengths, 34 minutes 1 second. That was fun...and totally off the subject.

What I am excited about is that I FINALLY BOUGHT A NEW TREADMILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippee!

Aren't I odd? To get that excited about a TREADMILL? LOL! I mean, really. You would think I had won a trip to Hawaii or even a new Felt, Cervelo, or Aegis bike or something (the trifecta of perfect TRI bikes, in my opinon...).

But no, I am psyched and jumping around like an idiot because I finally bought a treadmill.

I missed my treadmill. I don't know if I told this story before, but when we moved from Maine, we gave our treadmill away to our friend Lisa. Why, you ask? Because first of all, hers was making a hideous screeching noise. Second, other than me and Shanna, she is the only other person that I knew that actually used her treadmill. Third and finally, we were afraid of what 5 months of storage and a cross-country move via moving van would do to the already-hinky LCD displays.

No, I did not give away a failing treadmill. The LCD dots on the progress display didn't light up properly. Everything else worked fine. Plus we'd just had it serviced.

Anyway, so we gave it away, assuming we'd buy a new one in California.

Five months later, when we finally bought a house, we realized it was too small for a treadmill. There wasn't a single place to put it--the way the house is laid out, there is either a window or a closet, door, entryway, or fireplace in every blank section, except the family room...and that has shelves, because it's long and narrow. Not a good place for a treadmill.

I tried to go to the Y. I really did. But when you just want to get up and run, it's a hassle to go get in the car, drive over, find parking, go in, run on a treadmill in the middle of a huge room where it's hot and the oscillating fans don't work properly, then go back out and drive home again.

I know, I could have run outside. However, when it's over 80 and it's barely even 7 a.m., I wimp out. I ran last summer when it was 100 degrees out, even doing 6 miles at a time, but I had a park with a rather good water faucet to go to and that made a huge difference.

Excuses, excuses. I know. I totally get that. I realize that I'm just being lazy. I KNOW I could do it if I wanted to, but frankly, I don't like running in this town, nor do I care for the Y, and I really dislike the heat. And I just missed having a treadmill. I wanted to be able to go for a run when the baby went down for a nap after lunch, and that's the hottest part of the day. (Whine, whine.)

It all comes back to motivation. And I just like the cold better. That's why Eureka is one of my favorite places to run (see my last blog for more info on that).

So anyway, I we scoped out treadmills at Sears, Sports Authority, and Costco--the only three places in this town where I could find Treadmills for sale.

I liked Costco's; it's a good one--$900, Nordic Track. It got good reviews on the Treadmill Doctor website, too. However, they don't deliver, nor do they set up. I can't have Kent bring it in by himself, not with his bad back...and he doesn't "do" putting stuff together. I do. And at 43, I'm less inclined to put stuff together when I can pay someone else to do it. Laziness or old age? You be the judge! :)

At Sears, they would do delivery and setup, for about $30 cheaper than Sports Authority, but I didn't care for their treadmills. Yes, they had Nordic Tracks too, but the ratings on the three that I looked up were not as good as the Sports Authority treadmill...even though the company that makes Nordic Track, ProForm, and Healthrider is all the same one--Icon Health & Fitness.

The one I ended up buying was a Healthrider Club Series H140t treadmill, from Sports Authority. Originally listed at $3000 (not that I think it ever sold for that), it was marked down to $1999, then $1399, then $1299, which is what we bought it for. Yes, it's more than I wanted to spend, but after looking at the treadmills, and knowing how we use them, and reading the reviews on Treadmilldoctor.com, there was no way I was going to buy anything else...especially since we needed them to deliver it and set it up as well.

The control panel of the Healthrider H140t

It looks good. I thought it had a 3.0 HP motor, but now I'm reading online that it really has a 3.5HP. That's even better, if it's true. If not, I still wanted at least a 3.0, so I'm happy.

Specificiations card from the store

The deck is 20" by 60", plenty long and wide enough. Some people say you can't tell the difference, but I definitely can. I think our old Horizon Fitness treadmill was a 22" deck, but I'm not positive.

My treadmill--the front one!

The reviews I read were pretty good overall. Some people don't like the bells & whistles, as extra technology is just "one more thing that can break"...but for me, they weren't what I was interested in anyway, and with the price darn near what we paid for our "stripped down" (by comparison) Horizon model 3 years ago, I didn't really pay for them anyhow.

Another look at the specs card

Here's what I was looking for:

* If it didn't have a 3.0HP at least, I wasn't interested.

* If it didn't include at least a 20" x 60" deck, I wasn't interested.

Those were my "musts", but the power was the definite selling point. If I am going to use this puppy to train for the Honolulu Marathon--assuming North Korea doesn't nuke it first, ha ha--I need to know that it's going to be up for the workouts. Before we left Maine, I'd throw on a video and run a half marathon for my long runs on the weekend. When I did speed training, I'd do 8x30-second strides at 10MPH. Granted, I'm nowhere near that speed right now, but I will be, and I need to know that my treadmill can hold up to that kind of effort.

So I'm very excited about it. I can't wait for it to arrive! That will probably be Wednesday, as we are going to be travelling for the 4th of July weekend; first we'll be in Willow Creek, then we go to Eureka to set off fireworks, as Maddy and Kara have never seen the kind you light yourself (they're illegal in Maine). Then on Sunday, we head off to Gualala in southern Mendocino County, where friends of ours own a beach house. We'll be with them for a couple days before heading back home. Maddy has horse riding lessons Wednesday morning, and clarinet lessons Wednesday afternoon, so we'll be home by then for sure. I imagine our treadmill will arrive that day.

It's a good thing it won't come tomorrow (Friday, July 3), as I imagine you wouldn't be able to budge me out of the house at all. :D

The only drawback that I can see is that we will probably have to put it in our front window. There is really no other place to put it in this house. It's either that or the garage, and that's as bad as running outside. So I guess I'll get to look outside, or watch TV, while I'm running. Thankfully it's a north-facing window so I won't be blasted by sunshine, anyway.

Thank heavens. I don't think I'll ever want to go without having a treadmill again. This was just not fun at all.

Have a lovely evening, and a fabulous 4th of July!

Favorite running cities

2009-06-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

We're in Eureka this weekend, visiting family, and I went out for my scheduled run this morning (Sunday).

OK. It took a bit more effort than bounding out of bed and hitting the road, but I'll spare you the details.

It's been only a short time that I've gotten back into running. I've been averaging a couple runs a week. I'll aim for 3 this coming week. If that sounds like very little, know that I ran 20 miles on a 3-day-a-week training regimen. Even Runner's World has a 3-day-a-week marathon training guide. So it's reasonable. You shouldn't run every day, and right now I'm just trying to get the habit back.

Anyway, so off I went, with the goal of running to my brother's house and back. It's a nice run, with the exception of Buhne Hill--which, if you have ever been to Eureka, you know to be truly epic. If you haven't, there is a REALLY inadequate picture of Buhne hill here. Just focus on the far side of the hill and you'll get an idea of its rise. This picture was taken maybe 1/4 of the way up the hill.

As I ran, with my trusty iPod Shuffle providing background music as usual, my mind flitted off into a myriad of different topics, any of which would make an excellent blog post, and most of which I promptly forgot. I know there was one about the idea of shorts vs. running skirts, and another about where you find your inspiration--or what keeps you inspired. A third was about feeling fearless (which is what running does for me), and a fourth was about literally not being afraid to stop and smell the roses, as I did on Buhne & I Streets, where a fabulous double rose had poked through a white picket fence.

But as I ran, and then walked, and ran again (including my epic run up Buhne without stopping), I thought about how fabulous the running was this morning, and that got me thinking about today's topic.

What got me all happy wasn't the fact that I was running without gasping like a nearly-dead fish. No, what got me all happy was the lovely light breeze and the perfect sunshine-and-blue-skies day it was here in Eureka today. And I realized that, not even counting when it's sunny and perfect like it is today, Eureka definitely makes the top three list for my favorite cities for running.

These may not be your favorites, but hey, it's not your blog! [wink!]

By the way, my run time today? 1 hour 12 minutes. That does NOT count the time I spent at Roy's house, visiting and inhaling a couple glasses of water.

Hey. Everyone needs a place to use the potty sometimes!

My top three running cities, in no particular order:

1) Eureka, California -- As I mentioned, the weather today was perfect. It's cool, but not too cold, with a perfect cooling breeze. Shorts and a technical t-shirt were absolutely right for a day like today. However, it wasn't the weather that put Eureka on my list; frankly, it can be overcast, drizzly, grey, bleak and downright wet, too. No, what put it on the list was the fact that there is just about everything you might want for running here. There's a track to do track workouts at Eureka High. There are tons of fantastic trails through the Redwood trees that make up half the town. A number of the trails run right through Sequoia Park, which is frankly gorgeous and makes you think you stepped out of 2009 and landed in a scene from Jurassic Park II (which, incidentally, was filmed not far from here up in Fern Canyon). But, aside from Sequoia Park, there are even more trails through the Redwoods in town that are little-known, unless you're a native Eurekan, or know a native Eurekan like my husband. He grew up in the woods and I swear he can navigate halfway across town without ever touching pavement. There are lots of straight, flat stretches, low-rise uphills (H and I Street) that become gentle downhills when you go the other way. And, there are the hills. There are shorter hills like on Lucas Street, and then there are the monsters like Buhne, which is big enough to challenge anyone, even veteran runners. You want a good workout? Push a jogging stroller with a baby in it up that thing. You will get applause when you reach the top, I can guarantee it. (I did, a year ago.) Truly, Eureka has it all...but when the weather is like today, that makes it even more sweet.

2) Kennebunkport, Maine -- Yeah. You knew that one was coming, didn't you? What makes Kennebunkport fantastic? Variety, and scenery. Knowing Kennebunkport backward and forward--at least its roads--as I did meant that I had routes for just about every mileage you could possibly want. Want a quick mile? No problem. Two miles? Four? 5? 5.2? 10? 15? You name it, I could produce it. You want to head on a five miler past the Bush compund? That's my favorite route. You want hills? Got 'em. Gentle rises? OK. Great scenery? Check. Wooded trails? The old Trolley line is perfect--just wear your mosquito repellant in summer...and run fast! Beaches? There are multiples there, too. Kennebunkport is the kind of town where you can head out from home and "run" your errands...literally! It's easy to combine a run with a trip to the post office, pharmacy, bank, and even to get a little gift at one of the shops, and come home with 5 miles under your belt. All in a day's running. If I had to choose ONE place to run, this would be the one, hands-down.

3) San Francisco, California -- You might shy away from SF, because of the hills, but not all of SF looks like the cable car line on California Street (read: near vertical). They have a great running culture there, including support in the form of stores. Aside from Fleet Feet, they also have Sports Basement. Located inside the old Presidio Commissary, it is probaby my new favorite running shop in California. They have all the stuff I might be able to find at Peak Performance Multisport or The Maine Running Company, my two favorite running/triathlon shops in Portland, Maine. Another cool thing about San Francisco is that there are still parcourses there. Remember those? Those were prevalent in the late 70s and early 80s, and they involved little signs that were here and there along a trail that invited you to stop running and do pushups, or situps, or stretches, before you headed off further down the trail. There is a "Game Field" (I think it's called that) at the Marina Green near the Marina Safeway store, which is the new millennium's version of a parcourse, where you appear to be able to stop and do all these things at once, before heading off again:

Marina Green Parcourse/Game Field, San Francisco

And do you want scenery? How about a run along the waterfront from the Embarcadero to the Presidio and back? Or a run across the Golden Gate Bridge? All things considered, these would make San Francisco fabulous, but they also have one thing that Eureka and Kennebunkport don't have, at least not that I'm aware of: they have running group support. There are multiple Running groups, not just in SF but also in the Bay Area, including the one that I MOST wish I could participate in, called WOW. WOW is a women's walking/running group, and they have meetups on a regular basis. You can run, walk, or both; they do training, races, track workouts, you name it. They meet 3-4 times a week at least in different parts of the bay area (Oakland, SF, Piedmont, etc.), and the website lists information such as whether there are portapotties, whether you need to bring water, and so forth. These women sound fantastic and I wish I could be part of such a group. They do drop-ins and you can join, too.

So these are my favorites. Eureka, Kennebunkport, San Francisco. Each different, each unique, but each offering variety. I think that's what I miss most about living where I do now.

So if you had to choose, what would be your top three favorite running cities, and why?

Have a fabulous day!

Flagging Motivation

2009-06-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

It's been a hideous three months.

Our friend Mark passed away at the end of March; at that time, I was up to running four miles at a shot and feeling pretty good about it. But then he died and I fell apart, along with my husband.

Needless to say, I haven't run much at all since then. A couple miles here and there, but I'm all messed up inside. My days are swapped with my nights; I get all motivated and charged up at 1:30 in the morning (well, 1:42 a.m. is what it is right now), but then in the morning I can't move. Worse yet, I caught Kent's and Sylvia's cold, or whatever it was, that causes crushing headaches. I've been battling that for almost a week now.

So right now, at 1:42...no, 1:43... a.m., I'm fired up and ready to run. In seven hours, I'll just want to sleep, and my head will be exploding.

That is, if the pattern follows that of the past week.

What to do, what to do?

I couldn't sleep--again--so I got up and looked online for triathlons. Nothing like signing up for a race to get you charged.

I found one in Boise in August. I emailed Pam, and asked if she wants to do it with me. If she says yes, I'm signing up. Then I have to start getting serious.

Just...the past few months have been difficult. Kent was pinkslipped, and we didn't know if he'd be rehired. It wasn't until this past week, after school was already out, that we found out that his job was saved, and he will be rehired next year. However, then he'll be pinkslipped again. His district in Maine wants him back, though, so we'll probably return to Maine--for good this time--in July of 2010.

Thank goodness. I miss Maine, and my house. I can't wait to go back to it.

Plus of course Kent's depression over Mark's death has been difficult for everyone. I didn't know how to help; truthfully, there's not much I can do. He'll have to get through this somehow. I can't fix it for him. You aren't essentially brothers with someone for 33 years and then get over that loss overnight. As a friend said recently, "Grief isn't linear." Some days he's fine; others, he falls apart. I'm sort of that way too. It's been hard to want to move. Sometimes I simply want to watch TV or play on Facebook or read until I grow so still, moss creeps along and covers me up.

So. Motivation. What I miss is my own treadmill. It's an excuse--but I do miss that ready place to run. Sometimes it's hard to get out the door. I want to, but then I don't. And I find excuses, and the next thing I know...I'm sleeping in, or my headache plants me in one place.

But I remember the running, the feeling of strength, feeling like I had all the oxygen in the world when I was running along and felt like I was flying. No shortness of breath, no tightness in the chest...just strength and breath and life.

And I so miss that.

So this is supposed to be a blog about how I "fixed" myself, and went from obese to athlete. Except it has turned out to be a bit of a treatise on how a crappy life situation can sideline you instead. And I'm still struggling with that.

I know I can fix this. I just need to get moving and do the hard work I need to do to get back to my fit self.

The first steps: sign up for a triathlon. Hopefully with Pam. Also, sign up with the local running shop's 10K training program. That starts on Tuesday. I have to do something; if I'm forced to go, beause I paid money and people are expecting me, I'll do it. And I know myself. Once I get started, I won't be content with a little run here and there. I'll want to improve my stamina. After all, the ultimate goal is the Honolulu Marathon this December.

Actually, that's not true. The Honolulu Marathon is A GOAL. The ultimate goal is my fit, healthy, happy self. Back in Maine. I don't want to go back as I am; I want to go back as I was.

Running is the key. It just takes the first step.

Then again, all the greatest journeys in life always start with that first step.

As John Bingham would say, "Waddle on, my friends." I guess I'll be doing that literally, starting this week! :)

Go, Me!!!

The scale said WHAT? (GAH!)

2009-03-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

Oh man oh man oh man.

Everything associated with the move to California has been a mess. My weight is just one more part of it.

I gained 20 pounds in the move, and then stopped running and gained 15 more since December.

So now I'm flirting with the edge of 200, and feeling really annoyed about it.

However, I got back on track. I got a "fitbook", which I love, as it helps me plan and keep track of my exercise and nutrition (without freaking about calories), and I've been running 3 times per week plus doing strength training once or twice a week.

I lost five pounds the first week.

I gained two the next.

And today? The scale is telling me I gained three more. Along with 2% body fat!

How is this possible?? How can a person gain two percent body fat in three days--since Friday, when last I weighed myself??

Welcome back to Frustrationland!! AGAIN!

(Sigh!)

I don't understand this. I wish I hadn't bought one of those fancy scales that gives you the body fat percentage. It's just confusing me. I might give it away and get a cheapo plain scale.

I used to have a big, glass scale we got at Brookstone, and it was simply a digital scale. But it was so huge and heavy, and you couldn't tuck it away anywhere, so I gave it away when we moved. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have it back. I tracked in the 0.1 range for weight, and as I said--it didn't do the body fat thing.

Anyway, it really makes me mad more than anything. I didn't lose 100 pounds only to regain 35 of it.

Again, not that, in the grand scheme of things, it's such a huge deal. At a size 12, I'm still way more healthy than I was at a size 20. And being able to run a 5K at an 11 minute per mile pace is pretty darn awesome too. I'm sure my cholesterol and triglycerides are doing fine, they always are when I eat lots of salmon and walnuts and all that good stuff, which I am right now. In fact, I'm actually eating disgustingly healthfully, a lot of organic, very little sugar (OK I had two...three!...cookies yesterday), and lots of "real" food. I only shop the "perimeter" of the store, where all the fresh stuff is, and rarely venture into the aisles unless I need cereal for Kent and the kids.

What I'm not doing is eating a lot of veggies, but the fitbook has a checkoff for veggies so that's helping me there.

Again, as I said, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a lot healthier than I was. I'm more fit, more active, stronger, and more capable than I was for 15 years.

However, I'm not where I was last June, and right now that's killing me. I liked being that fit; I liked being able to run 20 miles. And I liked feeling slim and small, although I must admit, my face got a little too thin. I was looking a little haggard there. Or was that the two solid weeks of packing that did it? (wink!)

I think right now what's bothering me the most is that I don't feel small like I did before. I liked that feeling. Like Kent and I weren't the same size--and frankly, for a while, we were. And right now, with my clothes the wrong size, even if they're mediums and larges (and not extra-large or 1x or 2x), I still don't feel small.

So back to the drawing board. I just finished reading a book called Real Food, by Nina Planck, and she wrote a lot of interesting things about eating real eggs and real milk and even butter, not that I want to slather all my food in a pound of butter, but certainly it's better than hydrogenated margarine.

I will keep on the pace I'm on--strength training, running, and try to add walks in where I'm not doing either. And I'm tracking my food now, so I'll be better about getting those veggies and fruits in. That's something that, frankly, I've been horrible at lately, and I know that I was eating way more of them when I was lighter. And I need to re-read YOU: On a Diet, by Dr. Oz. I did that before and it helped me to see it was all physiological.

And right now, when the scale is telling me I gained 3 pounds and 2% body fat in one weekend, I need all the help I can get to remember it's NOT the Diet Gods out to get me.

I just gotta get back in the zone of want-power; I can do this. I did it before. I will do it again.

Have fun and enjoy health!

Wow!

2009-03-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

This morning, Kent was a sweetie and let me sleep in. Considering I was up late last night, it was a nice thing for him to do.

What was so special? We went on a date night! :) My sister watched the girls, and we headed to dinner. A filet mignon and two mojitos were my choice, which is odd because I never, ever drink. And after a half mojito I was already a little buzzy. However, I decided I do like mojitos, but they aren't quite as good as Terminators...

I digress.

Anyway, after dinner we were going to see a movie, but we kept missing the times. The theatre we wanted to go to wasn't even showing anything until after 10, so we ended up spending an hour or so at Barnes & Noble, then driving around to find something to do.

We couldn't find anything to do. No comedy clubs, nothing obvious. There is no center of town here, so there's not even anyplace to walk around. Apparently you need to know where all the bars are, if that's your thing, because we couldn't even find any of those that we wanted to go to. Again, not like we're part of the bar crowd. I'm afraid two mojitos is my limit. Kent's is one mudslide. We're just not the partying type.

So we finally ended up--I am not kidding you--going to WalMart. We found a couple little toys for Karalyn, and Kent got some things for his class. The highlight for me was when I decided I didn't want to say I didn't do ANYTHING unusual (other than the mojitos) so I found a kid's bike with training wheels and rode that up and down the aisles a couple times.

I think the mojitos were still in effect at that point.

At 10:30, we finally got a donut and admitted defeat. The town had beaten us. There is NOTHING TO DO HERE.

However...

Sunday comes, and I finally got up at 11 a.m.; as I said, Kent was a sweetie to let me sleep. Maddy, very oddly, found my race number from the Kaiser-Permanente 5-miler I ran back in October, and brought it to me when I was just waking up.

"Look what I found, Mom!"

I glared at that number. Five miles. It was taunting me. It was also a bit freaky--I'd been lying there, debating: did I want to run four miles today, or aim for five?

Stupid number.

I got up and got ready for a run. But first, a quick pop onto Facebook to update my status.

Yes I am that addicted!

I posted that I was debating four or five miles, and a treadmill run at the Y (this had been my plan), but that I was considering a trail run by the Sundial Bridge. Up until I looked out the window, the Y was firmly in my sights. But it was so sunny and cool, it seemed like perfect running weather.

My friend's daughter immediately posted me back, "Go for a run on the trails. More fun than the Y. Wish I could run a mile!"

That did it. I fueled up with a banana and a bit of peanut butter, took two bottles of water, and drove out to the bridge.

The beginning of the run was a little hard. The first mile of a run is always the hardest, until you get your stride and your legs warm up. But considering I had run, at most, 4 minutes at a shot, I was definitely still rocky. However, I decided that this would be the day. I was going to run a mile, straight through. It's a familiar path, and I thought I could do it. I decided not to dwell on time or speed, but simply to "put in the distance."

I kept repeating that: "Simply do the distance. Put in the distance. It's all about the mileage. Forget the time. Forget the speed." And I kept at it.

Halfway through my mile, I got the ridiculous urge to make it two miles.

Ridiculous? I'll say! The last time I ran a consecutive mile without stopping was October. I am not sure when is the last time I ran two straight through without stopping. We might have to go back to September or even August!

But the thought was there. "I can do it," I argued with myself, listening to my iPod and trying not to notice the strong headwind blowing in my face. "I can do this. I can run for 24 minutes."

24 minutes is what I figured it would take to get to the 2-mile turnaround point, which I had memorized from my couch-to-10K program of last fall. That would be a 12-minute mile, and a good pace. Easy. Not too speedy, not too focused on time.

I kept at it. It was hard. It was really hard. But as I passed the mile marker, I permitted myself a little bit of a grin. I'd done a mile--ok. One more.

14 minutes passed. 16. 18. At 18, I told myself, "2/3 of the way through now."

19. 20. 21. 22...and then suddenly, I saw it. It was my turnaround--the 2 mile marker. But I was too close for it to be 24 minutes! Was I on a faster pace than I thought?

I hit the marker at 23:13, which made it for just over an 11 1/2 minute per mile pace.

Whoah! I did it! And faster than I had thought I would!

I felt great, but that was nothing compared to the rest of the run.

Today was the kind of day I haven't had since my last Presidential 5-mile loop in Kennebunkport, last October. The next 3 1/2 miles--yes, I did 5 1/2 in all today--started to be more about fun than about plodding or tired legs. I decided I'd aim for 4 minutes run, 30 seconds walking, or therabouts, as I had been doing all week. But somehow the four minutes blew past and I was suddenly at five before I decided to slow down and walk a little.

It was so cool. I was focusing on the view, which frankly is magnificent--there may be no nightlife, but the recreational activities for daytime are fantastic!--and I was so busy watching the river, and the snow-capped mountain in the distance, and the ducks and geese flying overhead, I kept forgetting that I was running.

How's that for amazing! I forgot what I was doing and just ran, and now and again I'd walk and stretch--the stretching was crucial, I'm still very stiff and my flexibility is shot. But I'd walk and stretch, then start to dance a bit to the music, and before I knew it the dance turned into a run, almost without my noticing!

There was so much joy and freedom in it...I wish I could explain it, but with every step I felt more like myself than I have for the last eight months, ever since we moved to California.

I felt like I was coming home to me. It was...amazing. It was cathartic. It was a revelation.

I might not like where I am, but I can still be me while I'm here. It doesn't have to be the way it was when we first arrived--the stress, the negativity, the heaviness of spirit!

Wow!

The run ended up being one of the most FUN runs I have had in months. I really just enjoyed the day. The weather was perfect, the temperature cold enough to keep me cooled off while I ran. The people were all friendly, waving or smiling or simply nodding as I passed. I felt like so much more than I have been for months. I did what felt like an easy run/walk, but it was more time running and less walking than I've done since last year.

It was all just so cool!

I know, I'm gushing. I can't help it. LOL. I'm sure later on I'll edit the daylights out of this post, but for now I'm letting it stand.

I had the best day! And the rest of it--well it was just fun and easy and calm. And I felt good. I cleaned the house, and made three different nut butters (peanut butter, cashew butter, and almond butter); I played with the girls, and got them dinner, put them to bed and even read with Maddy. And it was easy and fun and enjoyable and relaxing.

Wow. I was relaxed! What a concept! I haven't been relaxed in...you guessed it! MONTHS! LOL!

And after the last few months I've had...well, that was a revelation in and of itself!

I'll end this now before it gets too gushy, LOL! I did want to add that while I was running, I suddenly really listened to the lyrics of a particular song. Yes, it's from High School Musical II, and yes I do listen to that music. It's from my daughter's CD, but I like it too. It's fun and upbeat and I like musicals. So sue me. :)

But, as I ran, the lyrics kind of caught me and made me think, OK, yeah, this is about being MYSELF, for the first time in a long time. I'll post a little bit of them below. See what you think.

Have a great day, and as always...have fun!

________________________________________________________________

They say that you should follow
and chase down what you dream,
but if you get lost and lose yourself
what does is really mean?

No matter where we’re going,
it starts from where we are.
There’s more to life when we listen to our hearts
and because of you, I’ve got the strength to start

Everyday
of our lives,
wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight
Gonna run
while we’re young
and keep the faith.

You know you've overdone it when...

2009-03-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

...using deodorant hurts.

I mean, it really hurts. As in, your armpits go, "Oh my god, why are you beating me with a stick?!"

Well. I guess we can say that the 55 minutes of strenth training was effective. I haven't felt this sore since I played "let's see how many times Mommy can jump up and down" with baby Karalyn.

She won. That's how pathetic my jumping skills are.

Anyway, my lofty and high-minded goal of heading to the Y for another run workout today had to be sidelined. It's hard to run when you can't move your arms. Or your quads, for that matter.

I suppose it's to be expected. I have been doing little weight-lifting routines the past couple weeks, but I haven't really gone all-out, as my trainer Isaiah in Maine taught me to do. He was very specific about which exercises, which weights, and how many sets and reps (2 sets at 12 reps each) that I needed to do to gain strength.

He was also very specific in telling me that I should never do the same thing two days in a row...and that a day of rest is required to let your body heal and get stronger after an all-out effort.

That's what today has become: rest and repair.

Anyway, thankfully I'm a bit of a Cybex nut in that I remember exactly which machines he taught me to use, in which order, and at which settings, even though he taught me this stuff over a year ago.

But why weightlifting? If I'm running, wouldn't it stand to reason that I wouldn't want to bulk up?

You would think that would be the case, but this is when the beauty of being a women actually gives us an advantage.

Women don't bulk up.

Don't believe it when people say, "Oh, if you lift weights, you'll bulk up like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Barry Bonds." (OK, admittedly, at least one of those guys used steroids...) Women simply do not bulk up that way. We don't have the testosterone that is required, for one. For a more thorough examination as to why women don't bulk up, read this.

So it turns out that lifting weights is an important part of being a runner. I had no idea; Isaiah had told me that weight lifting would help my muscles stay lean, strong and healthy, and that would help me be a good runner, but it wasn't until I visited an orthopedic surgeon in York, Maine that I got a real wakeup call.

I went to see him in the late fall of 2007. I was experiencing knee pain--not when I ran, but when I sat at my 2nd job at William Arthur, putting decorative touches like bows and ribbons on special-ordered greeting cards and announcements. I tended to sit with my ankles crossed, which made my knees kind of splay out...and my left knee would hurt so badly that I couldn't even walk for a few minutes. Oddly, though, running helped it feel better.

The doctor put me through a full range-of-motion test, and after a thorough examination, declared that there was nothing wrong with my knee. But he cautioned me before I left.

"You need to start lifting weights," he said. "Strength training is essential, especially for runners. And," he added, "if you don't do it, I guarantee you, 100%, you will be back to see me with some real knee problems in the future."

Wow. Who knew.

So yesterday, thinking that it was high time I got my strength training going for real, I went to the Y with Karalyn. She's allowed to be in child care for 90 minutes, so rather than walk first, then fit in the strength training, I flipped them. I did the strength training first, although I did do a 5-minute warmup walk first as Isaiah had trained me.

It took about 55 minutes. I can't even begin to tell you all the weights I used, but I exercised pretty much every part of my body except my stomach. I hate crunches, much as I know I should be doing them, especially as a strong core is essential to running.

The strength training is good for more than just proper running form or for a strong, lean physique. It also helps you keep good posture. Think that's not a biggie? Think again. Twice in my life I've had to have Physical Therapy to lengthen the muscles in my chest and shorten them in my back, due to hunching my shoulders forward...granted, it was while breastfeeding, but it's common to end up in that position while on a computer as well. Doing PT exercises and hearing your chest go "crunch" when you straighten up are not fun things!

Anyway, as I noted yesterday, I also spent some time walking and sprinting. Sprints are good for speed training, and they also act like metabolic boosters by ramping up calorie-burning. You burn a lot of calories when you walk, you burn more when you run, but you really torch them when you add high-speed bursts to walking or running.

Not that the goal of an athlete is necessarily calorie-burning; it's training, first and foremost. But sometimes training includes reducing a gut that you let build up (guilty!) due to holidays, stress, or injury. That's when the calorie-burning becomes somewhat more important.

So today I am feeling it. It hurts to be in almost any position. But it's not hideously painful, it's more like a dull ache than a sharp OUCH...except when I used that deodorant this morning.

THAT hurt.

Guess those pullups and dips I did, along with the rowing and delts and all the other stuff really made a difference, huh?

Dean Karnazes says in his book, Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of An All-Night Runner, "Pain is the body's way of ridding itself of weakness."

The book also says, "If it comes easy, if it doens't require extraordinary effort, you're not pushing hard enough. It's supposed to hurt like hell." "

OK, Karno. Gotcha.

Apparently, I'm doing something right.

Have fun!

5Ks and other fun stuff

2009-03-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well I forgot how much fun running can be!

I know, I know. That probably sounds a lot like, "Wow, I forgot how much having a root canal with no anesthesia can be!"

But it's true. When everything "clicks", running is just...joyous. I had completely forgotten that in all the chaos of the past eight months or so.

Last week, when I was into my 2nd week of my couch-to-Bay-To-Breakers-12K program that I made up for myself, I was seriously wondering if I had completely lost my mind. I have been starting slow, doing run/walk intervals. In my past running life, that meant run 2 miles, walk a minute. My new goal was to simply run for three minutes, after which I would reward myself with 30 seconds of walking.

Oh, and that run? Yeah. It was at a 5 mph pace, which is a 12-minute mile. That's my former "I'm dilly-dallying" or "I'm running 20 miles today so I'm taking it easy" pace. (Whine!)

Was it a "taking it easy pace" last week? Heck no! It was almost an all-out, do-it-or-die sprint!

That's how fast you lose your running mojo. Three months and wham, I'm back to being a beginner.

But wait? What glimmer of hope was that? I ran a 5K one day, and 4 miles two days later.

I know, I know. I had to walk 1 1/2 minutes of every darned mile, but I did it. I put in the mileage.

Fast-forward to St. Patrick's Day. Despite it being a "Baby Gymnastics" day, I didn't dare take Karalyn to the YMCA child care center. She was still too sick. So I had to wait until Kent got home, at which time I dashed off to do a quick hour on the treadmill.

See what I mean? An hour on the treadmill. And I'm treating it like a "quick hour" running.

That's how fast the running bug bites you.

So anyway, I realized that if I intended to get everyone fed and to bed on time, I really only had about 40 minutes, plus driving time, but I thought I might be able to get a 5K out of it. I started two weeks ago with 2 minute run/30 second walk intervals; last week, I went to 3 minute run/30 second walk. Naturally, this week, I went to 4 minute run/30 second walk.

I was prepared to die on that treadmill. Last week I was seriously dying, slogging through those three minutes, watching the clock, counting each 60 seconds, thinking there had to be something wrong with my watch interval timer. I scraped through by my fingernails, and worried about what this week would bring.

So I got on the treadmill, hit the button to start my 12 min/mile pace, and went at it. 4 minutes run, 30 seconds walk.

2 miles in, I'm thinking, what's going on here? I didn't get it. I wasn't nearly as winded as I had been last week. I was flying right along, barely noticing until the timer beeped that it was time to do the walk. I seriously debated running through the intervals but decided to do it the right way. But after 2 miles, I kept thinking, "This should be harder."

I was flying! It was slow, but I had that "flying" feeling back, just like I used to get on my favorite five-mile run, the Presidential Loop in Kennebunkport, Maine.

Like the running was effortless.

Light.

Fun!

So, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I upped the speed. I thought, "I should be working harder here. I'm not nearly winded enough." (I'm such a dork!) So I bumped it up to a 10 minute 56 second-per-mile pace, with 4 minutes run/30 seconds walk.

That felt a little tougher, but even that wasn't quite enough. I did another mile, and thought, for the last tenth, I'll just bump it up to a ten-minute-per-mile pace for the last tenth.

My vanity got the best of me; after a tenth of a mile, I thought, "That was it?" and ran another tenth.

My Personal St. Patrick's Day 5K turned into a 5K-Plus-1/10th-mile run!

Time? 38:56.

No, it was definitely not blazingly fast, but better than, oh, say, three weeks ago when I wasn't running AT ALL.

But in the meantime, I discovered this visceral joy in running. It was so easy and effortless that I was watching Oprah and not even noticing the time go by. I was tempted to say that Oprah was just too distracting--and yes, medical mistakes CAN be quite distracting--but nothing is THAT distracting when you're having a hard run.

It's when it's easy that I lose myself and feel like I could run forever.

I went home afterwards, and longingly looked at the Honolulu Marathon website. I kept thinking, "I ran 20 miles. I was going to do San Francisco, but then the move from hell happened, and I never did it...I knew when I did that 20 miler that I could have definitely done six more. I nearly did then. I wish I had...but that's OK. Now, I want to do THIS marathon!"

I blurted it out to Kent. "Hon, I want to do the Honolulu Marathon. It's the one I really wanted to do. It was my first goal. I think I want to go for it this year."

His reaction?

"OK."

...Oh. OK then! We're on!

My new goal: December 13, 2009: The Honolulu Marathon. It'll give me a chance to go back to my old stomping grounds. I haven't been there since that summer of 1982. It's been so long. I want to see the old apartment complex, and walk my favorite walk from Kapiolani Park down to the Hale Koa hotel. I want to check out Ala Moana, and take the tram at Pearlridge. And I want to smell all the plumeria I can get my hands on. They're still one of my favorite flowers.

It's my goal. I am already checking out flights, and now I simply need either to reserve a room at a hostel, or find someone to go with me to split the hotel costs. Kent is willing to stay with the girls, although perhaps our parents can watch them and we can go together. It's a thought.

But this time, I'm not going to stress over whether I can go fast enough to beat 5 hours. I will train to complete it; if I break 5 hours, great. If not, I just want to finish it. It's a better goal for a marathon "virgin" anyway.

Anyway, this morning, since Kara was better and I didn't feel like I'd subject other kids to her cold, I planned to go to the Y to do weight training and then simply walk for a bit, but after almost an hour of Cybex (including a very humbling assisted-weight pullup session lasting for exactly THREE pullups), I got on the treadmill and soon was doing what I call "reverse intervals", with 2 minutes' walking and 30 seconds in an all-out sprint.

I used to do these on a six-minute-per-mile pace; the best I could scrape out was an 8-minute-per-mile pace today. It was tough, but I had a good time with it.

Tomorrow, more running on tap. I think I'll aim for another four miles. I am hopeful that I'll have another "flying" day, but if there is one thing I have found in running, it is that the days you expect to be easy rarely are; and sometimes, the days you expect to be the most impossible end up being the kind of days you live for.

Have a lovely day, and here's to an even better tomorrow...we hope!

Officially Back in Training

2009-03-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

Today was my 2nd day of run training. I am back at it. But to explain how, I first have to back up a bit...

On Saturday, Feb. 28, I went to Sacramento on my own to get this laptop (MacBook) repaired--there was a crack in the casing. While I was there, I went to SportsAuthority, and looked for a sports watch. I needed one in the worst way. I totally scored, and found a brand new UnderArmour training watch. It was normally priced $89, and was marked down to $50. I was so excited; the price was right, and it had all the features I needed. It's pink and it has a chronometer and an interval timer. The chronometer tracks my overall time and the splits (individual laps or segments of sport, such as in a triathlon), up to 75 different splits. The interval timer lets me program run/walk intervals, with an alarm, so I can run a set time and then walk a set time, which is a standard training routine for new runners, or returning runners like me.

So now, we're heading back up to last Tuesday. I took out my new watch, and set it with two intervals: a 2 minute, and a 30 second. That is, I planned to do 2 minutes of running followed by a 30 second walk. I hoped I'd be able to handle that much running, and that I wouldn't have to dial up the walk segment to a minute or even (gasp) time equal to running.

After Karalyn went to baby Gymnastics last week, I dropped her off at child care to "play", which she willingly did in lieu of going home for a nap, and then I hit the treadmill.

I went two miles of run/walk, and walked an additional two after that. It was tough but I did it. I walked the next day, and that was it for the week.

Cue up the music for today...duh duh DUHHH! What would have happened after one single run? I decided to be positive, and so I reset my watch for a 3 minute run, 30 second walk. Once again, after baby Gymnastics, Kara went to play and I hit the treadmill.

Watching the little TV monitor on the treadmill kept me occupied so I didn't dwell on the time. I watched "What Not To Wear," which is a really fun show where people's wardrobes are hijacked, dumped, and then the two hosts give the person $5 grand to buy a new wardrobe, following their suggestions. The lady today had lost a lot of weight but still had the roll around the middle...sort of like me!...and so it was interesting to see what kind of wardrobe they had her choose. She was still a size 18 or so, which I am not any longer--I'm currently a 12, up from my former size 8 in Maine--but it was still interesting.

The time flew by and before I knew it, I had run a 5K. I did 3.2 miles! I was elated! I walked an additional 2 miles, like last week, and then realized that, along with the elation, I felt depressed at the same time.

Depressed? Why?

My pace was pretty much a 12-minute mile pace, or 5 mph. That was my slow-and-easy pace when I ran my 20 miles back in May, and even back then I wasn't doing a 3 minute run and 30 second walk. I was running pretty much the full five miles with a short break and then rehitting another 5, for four loops. My normal easy pace was 10 minute miles for 6 miles at a time (sometimes more, up to 12 miles); my race pace was around a 9 minute mile. And here I was, run/walking a 12 minute mile.

However, the sense of elation returned when I realized that after months of not running, I was able to run/walk a 5K faster than the first ever 5K I walked with Maddy, way back in 2007. I also remembered a post I saw late last night when I was perusing a site called "43 things" that there were a whole lot of people who had as a goal, "Run one mile". And I thought...I just did 3.2, on 2 days' practice.

So I'll take being elated. My training will be to compete in the 12K Bay t0 Breakers race in San Francisco. There is a killer hill early in, and I know I will probably have to walk at least some of that, but I hope to run the rest of it, at least most of the rest of it. That will be about an 8 mile run. I've walked it before, and was wicked sore afterwards, but that was back in 1992 and I was also horribly unfit back then. I have been wanting to do the Bay to Breakers for almost 2 years, now, and now I will have my chance.

I hope to run more this week. We head to Eureka for a family visit this weekend, and I plan to do some running there, too. Hopefully by the time next Tuesday rolls around, I will be able to maybe bump it up to 4 minutes' run, 30 second walk. We'll see.

Either way, I'm back in training! Yay me! :)

Finding the Motivation

2009-02-25T22:45:00.001-08:00

Today I did something I haven't done in two months.

I read Runner's World online.

To say I haven't been running puts it mildly. I haven't been doing ANYTHING.

But something I read on John "The Penguin" Bingham's blog got to me. I decided I'd post his blog (with the appropriate link), and the reply I added. I think it kinda sums it up.

Job 1: Get over my cold.
Job 2: Get running again.

Take care,
Karina
_______________________________________________________________

Finding the Right Distance
"Ask the Penguin" Blog
John "The Penguin" Bingham
Runner's World, Feb. 6, 2009

Dear John,
I am 42, female, and a runner/gym enthusiast. I tried for many years to run a marathon but kept getting hurt during training. Then I decided to join running groups to help me train properly. The first time I trained with a group, in 2006, I made it to the fifth month of training but developed knee pain. Day of the marathon, I started hurting at the 6-mile mark, so I cut my race in half.

The second year of training with another running group was better. I finished five months of training without incident. But on the day of the marathon, I started cramping at mile 17. The rest of the way was very painful, with me unable to move at times and in tears.

I was tired of not finishing anything, so I just grit my teeth and kept going. I ended up finishing the race an hour over my goal with both hams, quads, and calves cramping.

After training for two marathons two years back to back, I had difficulty maintaining fitness. It seems that after I run these races, my body just bonks. Three weeks post-race, I can hardly catch my breath running just one mile, depression sets in, my resting heart rate is elevated, and I just do not have any energy. This lasts seven to 11 months. I am scared now to train for another marathon.

I have just now recovered from one of these post-marathon "bonks" a year after I ran. Needless to say, I have gained weight and lost fitness. I tried several times to get back to running, but the desire and energy were just not there. I want to get fit again. Can you help me out? - Eileen

Hi, Eileen. Thanks for writing. Some of what you’re describing is fairly typical. There is a “post marathon syndrome” in which we are mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I’ve run 45 marathons. I’ve had the exact sensation of trying to run a week or so later and wondering how in the world I ever ran 26.2 miles and how in the world did I get so out of shape so quickly.

So, as uncomfortable as you may feel, it’s not something to worry about.

Marathons have become what one writer described as “the great urban Everest.” They seem to have become the standard by which contemporary runners judge themselves. It’s unfortunate, really, because there are so many other great distances that might suit many runners better than the marathon.

The question you need to answer for yourself is, what’s your ideal race distance? What is the distance that you can enjoy both training for, and participating in? Maybe you’re a 5-K runner. You like the full-on, go-for-broke, go-hard-and-hang-on feeling that you get in a 5-K. Maybe you’re a 10-K runner. You like the artistry of finding the razor-edge between too fast and too slow.

I’ve found that I really like the half-marathon distance. It’s far enough that someone like me, who is terminally slow, can feel like we’ve accomplished something special, but no so far that I put too much stress on my body, mind, and soul.

So, find your own joy. Find the distance that gives you that joy and focus on it. My guess is that you’ll be a happier, healthier runner if you do.

Waddle on,
John

John “the Penguin” Bingham, Runner’s World columnist
Author, The Courage to Start, No Need for Speed, Marathoning for Mortals and Running for Mortals.

Have a question for John? E-mail it to thepenguin@johnbingham.com.

_______________________________________________________________
My reply: (dated Feb. 25, 2009, 5:05:24 p.m.)

I too am 42 and female...LOL there's a lot of us...and I haven't run since last December. We made a move to California from Maine which ended up being a mistake, but we're trying to deal with it...meanwhile, the upheaval of living five months out of a suitcase then the actual unpacking in December when we got a house put running dead last. Now I cannot drag myself out the door.

Prior to the move I had completed my first 20-mile run in four hours, and felt fabulous during and after. I know I can do it. So why aren't I? I would imagine some form of depression or sadness is part of it (from this horrendous relocation), stress (the daily threat of my husband losing his teaching job due to CA politics), tiredness (I have a history of anemia...but I didn't think of that as a potential cause of it), and anxiety (two houses in two states and the worry over upkeep and paying my taxes).

I know if I run, I'll run the chaos out of my brain and it will give me energy, clarity and focus...so why am I not doing it? I'm blessed because I've always run injury-free--probably because I'm also slow (and proud of it). So why can't I get out there??

Anyway, the point of this long ramble is that Eileen, you're not alone, each of us has our own running battle to fight from time to time, but in the end, running is worth it. Your email reminded me of that. I forgot how much I loved to run and that, truly, the only thing holding me back is my head. Even my toddler isn't an impediment: I've been running with her since she was 4 months old.

I would agree that you should play around and find your distance. I found that I love long distances--I can go for a couple hours and be happy as a lark--but I cannot stand 5Ks because I'm so slow and the race is over too fast. I always said that I may not be fast, but I can plod on forever.

Anyway, you can do it--and I know I can also. Time for us both to get out there and take our first baby steps! Good luck!

Posted by: Karina | Feb 25, 2009 5:05:24 PM

__________________________________________________________

Truly a good answer to myself. Now I just need to listen, and learn.

As John says, Waddle on, my friends!

Felled By Peanut Butter

2009-01-23T23:37:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you're reading this title, thinking, "Does she mean she got slammed by the recent peanut butter recall?"

More than we might have originally thought.

In my last blog, I talked quite a lot about how my departure from my former running lifestyle had put me so far off the path of excellent health that I got slammed by the stomach flu.

Well, it may be that it wasn't the flu at all.

I found out yesterday that my Clif Bars, my favorites--chocolate chip peanut crunch, or whatever they are called--were potentially part of the recall. So I went to look at what I had left, to see whether the ones I had were in fact from the suspect batch.

They were.

Last week, on Monday or Tuesday I think, I had one of the suspect bars. A day and a half or two later--totally within the incubation period for salmonella--I got slammed with the worst stomach cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting I have ever had.

Even in April of 2006, I didn't throw up. I just don't do that. This time, however, I did.

I remember also that one of those days, Maddy ate part of one of my bars. She didn't like it however so I got her a chocolate brownie bar...and she ended up sick right along with me. I don't remember if it was the same week; if it was, it makes it very suspect.

Also, at the same time I had my Clif bar, I gave Kara a nip of it as well, because she was asking for a piece. She only had a little of that corner I gave her, and then chucked the rest...but then within a day, she was also down with the same thing I had (but thankfully without the severe cramps that had me on the floor). She actually got it before the rest of us did, but then again...she's a toddler, too.

So...was it salmonella? Maybe? Possibly. It's definitely within the realm of possibility. At this point, we can't know for sure, because it's been over a week. They could try to do the testing but it's like closing the barn door after the horse has already bolted--we don't know that we would find anything. The time to test it was when I was in the throes of it, but we didn't know at that point about the recall on Clif bars. Argh!

That's the other thing that makes us, including Auntie Sue (the nurse) wonder if it was salmonella--I am still a bit nauseated from time to time, and it doesn't take that long to get over stomach flu. It was almost a solid week before I could try "real" food...I got sick Wednesday night last week, and I first ate a meal of "real food"--half a burrito--on Wednesday. Until then it was two or three days of Smarties and flat soda; then it was bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, juice, flat soda, and pasta. That was it.

I haven't been that sick in years and years and years.

Anyway, so I'm pretty torqued at the Clif company. I like their bars because at least some of it is organic. I realize to make everything organic would require raising prices, but if they hadn't gotten their peanut butter from the company that made the tainted stuff, this might not have happened to me.

To think...sometimes Karalyn has some of my Clif Bar.

The state of our food supply is scandalous. When every couple months you have people dying over food, there is something seriously wrong.

Anyway, so this weekend I need to go back to Costco, because that's where I bought my bars. Most of them have been eaten, and I half expect them to give me grief because of what I'm bringing back.

If they do, I'll offer to let them take care of my medical bills instead. That ought to get their attention.

Grr. I'm so annoyed. Time to just start making my own, I guess. I already make my own peanut butter.

It's a sorry world when food kills.

Just a thought.

New Year, New Me?

2009-01-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

Wow. I thought I was going to be better about this, and somehow life intervened. It's been a crazy ride but I think we're settled, now...

When last I posted, I had joined a couch-to-10K program. That kinda went by the wayside, although it got me trained enough to run the Portland, Oregon Kaiser Permanente 5-miler in early October, and in about a 10 1/2 min/mile pace, which is not bad considering how out of practice I was. The 5-miler was run just after the Portland Oregon marathon was begun; being there with the other marathoners was energizing, and the announcer who was telling everyone to stick with their training, hydrate, and so forth was really amazing.

Anyway, the next week I found myself back home in Maine for a fabulous two weeks with my girls. Kent stayed home to teach, but we got to go back and see our friends, stay overnight in our own house, stay the last time in my in-laws' condo (it has since been sold), and say a proper goodbye to all the places we love. And we got to spend time with Auntie Sue, the girls' Godmother, who drove up from Hoboken to be with us for a couple of the days.

My house in Maine

When we got back to Redding, we were essentially homeless; my sister had decided while we were in Maine that since she had upcoming surgery, she would need her "space" and "quiet", and told Kent we needed to be out by the following Sunday, the day after we arrived back home. She eventually relented enough to tell Kent that he and Maddy could stay there, but that Kara and I had to go to Eureka. Considering I had to be in Redding quite a lot anyway since we were in escrow on a house, that made no sense, and Kent refused to split us up, especially since we were still living out of suitcases. All our stuff was still in storage in Maine.

Anyway, that gave us exactly 5 days to find someplace to live; considering nobody rents apartments starting the middle of the month, and we couldn't afford anything more than a no-tell motel (which I would not subject my daughters to), we ended up moving to my in-laws' home in Willow Creek, two hours away. Thus began a hellacious 2-week odyssey of driving back and forth from Willow Creek to Redding, two hours each way, every singe day. Even on the weekend we had to drive in for either horse lessons for Maddy or school events for Kent. On only two days did Kara and I stay home; the other days we drove in. I could recount the hours spent sitting in the parking lot of the local library while Kara slept in the car, as we waited for Kent and Maddy to get done with school so we could drive two hours back to Willow Creek, only to do it all over again the next day...but it would bore you as much as it did me.

It takes a lot of work to be homeless.

Finally, we were in an apartment for a month. Kara and I went out almost daily for a run and walk, because there was nothing else to do but sit there and watch tv, which got very boring. That month went by in a blur of nothingness, but finally our anniversary arrived at the end of November, and with it the keys to our new home.

Our "home away from home" while in exile in California

We quickly started moving our possessions over to the house--what little we had, which was what we brought with us in the car and what came over with Maddy, and the few things we'd bought since. My in-laws AGAIN came through by bringing us some beds and blankets, some utensils, cups and so forth, so we could move into our home for real. We lived like that for a week, until our things finally arrived from Maine on December 5, 2008--almost exactly five months after we had packed them.

We were so happy to see the word MAINE on this truck!

The next month (December) was taken up with finishing painting (almost the entire inside), unpacking, putting away, setting up, and breaking down boxes. It took two weeks, and then we were off to Eureka for Christmas with the family. We were there for a week, and Kara had her 2nd birthday party at my in-laws' house the day after Christmas. Then we came back home, and started to live "life for real".

Looking back, I suppose my sister did us a favor overall. Despite the two hour drive, my daughter announced that she'd rather do the drive if it meant we got to be a family again, just us four. And it was nice to get back into our own routines, and not always worry about if I was disturbing them when they were trying to watch tv. I did that one time too many, and I just couldn't handle it anymore.

The sad part is that my sister's and my relationship is somewhat strained since; I was angry enough not to go see her in the hospital, where her cyst removal turned into a hysterectomy; she was insensitive enough to tell me that she "wished" that she and I "had the kind of relationship" where we were like best friends.

My apologies for digressing here...but it IS my blog, isn't it? ;D ...what blows me away is that I am used to the kind of relationship where people do what they can to help, and you do the same. It's not like I didn't cook, or clean; I did. It's not like I didn't run errands and ferry kids around; I did. But when it came down to it, she was interested in her recovery to the exclusion of everyone else.

My example of the difference is this: that when her ex-husband's truck died, it was our brother who drove him an hour away to his home; when she needs her kids to go to Eureka because she's got something else to do, she either has our parents drive over to get them, or she meets them "halfway" in Weaverville...two hours for them, one for her. By comparison, when my in-laws realized that our whole family was down with the flu, they offered to drive six hours to pick up Auntie Sue (who's flying in to Oakland tomorrow), then another four to drive her up to Redding; then they'd still have three more to get home.

THAT is the kind of give-and-take we're used to. And can't you tell, it still bothers me.

Wow, that was really a digression. But that's also part of the "What the heck are we doing here" piece, because if we're here for family, and that family routinely puts themself first to the exclusion and detriment of everyone else...well, that's not the kind of family connection we were looking for. We want to be loved, not "used". We want family to want to come over and visit, not ask us to come pick up her kid and ferry her here or there.

So since we got settled into our new house, I've been looking for jobs. I want something I can do after school is over so I can stay home with Kara, and I'm selfish enough to want to love what I'm doing. I have a feeling that's pretty selfish, especially in this economy.

I've also done a little running, once with Maddy. But I hadn't really gotten back into things. Something felt...off. Weird. I think it's not being in Maine. Kent and I keep saying, Yes, we're here for family...but that's it. There is no other connection. The crazy weather (80 degrees yesterday on January 15!!) is kinda nice, especially since it's 1 degree (yes, ONE) in Kennebunkport tonight...but other than that? Nothing. We just don't feel this place is home. We keep saying, "two years". We'll see...it depends on whether Kent can get rehired at his old place on the pay scale. If he has to start over...well...maybe not.

So things were going along kinda weird, like I didn't know what was next...and then Kara got sick...and then I got slammed. Think an hour and a half of cramping stomach that has you rolling around on the ground talking about the emergency room. The only reason I didn't let Kent take me was I didn't want to wake the girls. Holy cow. It eventually passed, but I had the worst stomach flu over the next 24 hours. As a runner, I never got sick much--and I haven't been that sick since April of 2006, which I remember because it's when I discovered I was pregnant with Kara.

The illness was eye-opening, though. I realized how far I had gone from my healthy lifestyle. I was staying up late, not sleeping enough, not eating well, not drinking enough water (although I drink a lot of decaf tea), and definitely not running or even walking. I spend too much time hunched over a computer--granted, some of it job-searching--but as I was lying there between spasms on the floor, I told Kent, "I'm so sorry, I can't believe this, you're awake because I let this happen." He ended up having to the day off school because he was up most of the night with me; then it turned into two days off school when Maddy came down with the same thing I did. Poor Kent had to disinfect floors (after Maddy "christened" them being sick all the way down the thankfully-tiled hallway), make runs to the store for sprite and kids' motrin, and basically run things while I spent most of my time in bed or curled up in a ball somewhere.

Today I felt well enough to actually get up and start doing some laundry that needed to be washed. All I needed was to let some germ-infested blanket re-infect us all! Kent is a little bit sick now, too, not nearly where we were, but definitely sick. The plague has definitely hit.

So I got to wondering, what lessons do I learn from this mis-adventure? A lot! And oddly enough, I already learned them once before:

Get enough sleep. This is job #1!
Eat good food. Eat REAL food--nothing processed, nothing fake, just good stuff as close to its natural state as possible.
Drink enough water; decaf tea works but water is really excellent for keeping you hydrated. Important when you're sick.
Get out for walks at least, runs if possible.
Keep everyone to a good, solid schedule, so that everyone has enough energy and fuel to get them through their various activities.
Have a purpose, a goal, a focus.

This last one is what's been eluding me. In Maine, I was working at Borders, watching while Kara grew up, and enjoying the waxing and waning of each year through the various seasons. Here, everything is pretty much always the same; sometimes it's a bit colder, sometimes a bit warmer, but there are flowers blooming outside the local Holiday Market, for heaven's sake! There are no seasons to this place, so it is hard to find any kind of natural beginning and ending to anything. It's all kind of the same.

I don't have a job yet, and we are not connected to this house at all. Again, I go back to feeling like we're here treading water, just biding our time until we can go home. A forced exile, if you will. We are Mainer Expatriates living in a foreign culture.

So my purpose, my goal, my focus....

Well, there is a half marathon coming up in May in Humboldt County, and the Bay to Breakers in San Francisco in May as well. Those will do for goals. Purpose and focus? Be a good Mom, I suppose; help us get through the time until we decide we want to stay here for sure, or go home. We do still have our house there. It never sold, so it's being rented. That means we do still have time to decide if we want to go back. Right now, we say resoundingly yes!

The big part of my focus is going to be not getting myself so unhealthy that I fall prey to illnesses that I would normally shrug off. I know I left myself wide open for this--my sister and her girls got sick often enough while we were there that I should have gotten something, but I never did. Until I stopped running, sleeping, and eating properly.

The purpose? I'm not so sure. I'm still working on that one. I know we're here in California for something; the job was too easy to get, the move to fast to have been without reason. As my father-in-law said, it was the right decision at the time. Now? We feel it was a massive error. But we didn't know until we tried. So now we sit and wait to find out why we were led out here. I don't know what that is; maybe it's simply to ensure we can be here when my father turns 80 next month. Who knows. Whatever it is, I have no doubt that it will reveal itself in time.

So, meanwhile...a new year, a new me. Back in the saddle for real. If this illness wasn't my wake-up call, I don't know what it was.

I'm heeding the call. Time to get up and lace up those Nikes!

Best wishes to you all for a lovely, prosperous, healthy, and JOYFUL 2009! We will be joyful tomorrow, when a bit of home in the form of Auntie Sue comes to visit for a week. Yay!

Couch to 10K and other stuff

2008-09-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially fall, and the seasons are changing...back home in Maine, anyway.

Here, the only difference is that it gets cool enough at night that Baby Kara now has two blankies instead of one, and the days are a really moderate 85 or thereabouts.

Otherwise...no change.

As of my last post, which was way too long ago, I had indicated that I would be starting a couch to 10K program. It's being hosted by my local Fleet Feet Sports, which is a huge running store chain here in California (and all over the country). It's a lot more glitzy than my old Maine Running Company standby in Portland, Maine; it's not as packed with stuff as Marathon Sports on Boylston Street in Boston. Nor is it as large as Peak Performance Multisport in Portland, Maine. However, they have enough of what I need (except Extra-Salt Maragarita Shot Bloks!), and the owners--Aimee and Deron--are fantastic.

I was really tired the morning of my first run with Fleet Feet's "Running 101" 10K Training Program. The night before, I had driven to Sacramento with my niece to pick up my sister and her youngest daughter at the airport. They had been on a Disney Cruise that week, and Sam (my oldest niece) and I were eager to hear all about it. We had a lovely time at Whole Foods--we only spent about 45 minutes there this time, far short of our last 1 1/2 hour epic adventure--and then cruised the city a while. I went there to college (CSU Sacramento) back in the 80s, and lived there for 9 years before Kent and I moved to Maine, so I know the city fairly well.

I digress.

Anyway, we didn't pick them up at the airport until about 11 p.m.; then, by the time we got home, it was about 2 a.m.

Did I mention that I had to be at the river, ready to run, at 7 a.m.?

I set the alarm for 6:15 a.m., just a scant four-plus hours later, and threatened Kent with dire consequences if he let me sleep through. "You'll never wake up," he said.

At 6:15, when the alarm went off, I was shockingly awake; it was easy to get up, have some cereal, and drive over to our appointed rendezvous.

Aimee was very friendly, and gave us all binders, into which we will add our weekly "lessons" that she photocopies and hole-punches. It also has our schedule of running. Since I wasn't sure if I was a level 1 or 2, she added both for me. When everyone was assembled, we walked across the river to warm up, did some stretches, then took off along the riverwalk. I started with the beginner group, and we did a run 4/walk 1 minute program, for 3 1/2 miles.

At the turn-around point, the "intermediate" group met up with us, and as I had already left the beginners behind, I joined up with them, and happily found that my pace was equal to the task. Yay! I'm not hopeless after all!

Post-run we took a walk around the convention center, then it was off for home. I was happy that I'd been able to run without too much difficulty, and felt confident that I could join the intermediates the next week.

Fast-forward to last Saturday, Sept. 20. I was again at the designated area, and this time joined Deron in the intermediate group. We were five going out. The beginners did a 4 1/2 min. run/1 min. walk, and we did 5 min/1 min instead. I felt good, but I started getting a side stitch under my ribs on the right. To try to "fix" the problem, I focused for the entire first half of the four-mile run on breathing in and out while landing on my LEFT foot.

Supposedly people mostly breathe in (or is it out??) when landing on their right (70% of the population--who knew?) and that this causes most of the predominantly-right-sided cramping people feel. I don't know if that's all true, but it worked for me.

Along about the halfway mark, I started chatting with Deron about past runs, like my half-marathon last February and his Clam Beach run in the horizontal rain. It was great--the time flew by, and at the end of the run, we both gave it a bit of a kick--clearly I was slower, but I was able to speed up a bit, which is good for helping you to learn how to finish strong. Going faster on fatigued legs builds up endurance, apparently. Granted...it's supposed to be the last third of the run that you speed up for, but I'm not there yet...I can only kick for an extra minute at this point.

I'll get there.

When we finished, I realized that our group of five was down to four. We'd lost someone on the way. I still have no idea when that happened!

My goal is to run four times a week (including Saturday); Sunday I didn't run at all, but Monday I went out at midday and quickly flamed out. Sunshine and temps in the 80s are not conducive to running all out. I quit at two miles.

Ouch.

That brings us to today. I decided to go out and go for time, not necessarily distance; and, in light of the fact that it was midday and sunny, in the 80s again, I decided to be kind and let myself walk.

This time, I called my friend Pam, and we chatted for most of my run/walk, until my cell died. I did the last couple miles in quiet, except for some chatter by Baby Kara and a stop to douse my head in cold water at a local park. I was so hot, and that helped me feel so revived! There are some good tips online for how to deal with running in the heat; Runnersworld.com is an excellent resource for these and much, much more.

In the end, I had run/walked a pathetic almost-speed-walking pace, including my rest stop for water--just over 14 min/mile--but I went 6.5 miles in all, and was out for just over 1 1/2 hours.

Not bad.

I was particularly happy about the mileage, although the pace is frustrating. I am still trying to remind myself that running in heat requires a different mind-set--you can't just go all out like I used to do in Maine. You have to slow it up, you have to run early (which I'm NOT doing), and you have to hydrate. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Water (or, on longer runs, electrolyte-drinks like Gatorade) are critical. You don't want to get heat exhaustion or, worse, heatstroke.

Despite knowing this, I am surprisingly frustrated by my (to me) pitiful attempts at mileage anymore. I used to run 6-8 miles each time I ran. However, I need to also realize that I AM capable of running four miles at a time, and have done it without rest breaks on a treadmill at the Y, so I am definitely gaining some fitness back. When I can't run outside at noon in the sunshine in mid-80s temperatures in a dry, dry, DRY climate like this, I need to remember that this is not what I've been used to for a year and a half.

I should try to run in Eureka, instead. Cooler, more humid...more like Maine.

Regardless, the "Running 101 10K training program" is a good program. Unfortunately, I will have to confess to Aimee this weekend that I'm going to be missing three sessions in a row--first, I'll be in Portland, Oregon with my sister at a conference called "Art & Soul". I am also planning to run the Kaiser-Permanente 5 miler run that is being hosted in conjunction with the Portland Marathon.

Two days after I return from that, I will be happily winging my way home to Kennebunkport for a week-and-a-half visit with both of my daughters. Yippee! I get to go HOME! Maddy doesn't know anything about it--yet--but there, we will be visiting friends, going to our house for a "camp out", running around to do our favorite things (Fun-O-Rama at York Beach, The Clam Shack in Kport, Bandaloop in Kport, kayaking on the Harraseeket River with LLBean's Walk-On Adventures, the New England Aquarium and Duck Tour in Boston...), and maybe even taking part in the yearly Presidential 5K run in Kennebunkport. That will be a blast!

It looks to be a busy and fun next few weeks. The biggest challenge--keeping up with my 4x a week running. Should be OK in Portland, with the hotel and the 5miler; in Maine, I'll just have to bring a jogging stroller (or borrow or rent one) and take the baby to some of my old stomping grounds.

I can't wait!

Meanwhile...it's hanging out on the couch time for me. I get to do a lot of that, given that I'm still not in my own home, and that baby takes at least a 3 hour nap every day.

Maybe instead of sitting, I should pull out that jumprope I brought and make use of it. My legs still quiver at the remembrance of my last jumping escapade (and the five days it took for them to recover), but maybe this time I can learn how to take it a bit easier.

I'll try to be better about posting.

I know, I know...I say that every time.

Happy running!

"Run slowly, run daily, drink moderately and don't eat like a pig." - Dr. Ernest van Aaken
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Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking and my own journey to fitness and health, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight or gain fitness and health, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any exercise and/or weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss and fitness are personal journeys. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck, and congratulations for taking that first step!

Dealing with Frustration

2008-09-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

Today was another Epic Fail.

I've had a lot of those lately.

So being here in Northern California kinda sucks, overall. I miss Maine (boy do I miss Maine!) and I have had the worst homesickness you can possibly imagine. But the worst of it isn't just missing Maine, or trying to get used the California; it's this total lack of running ability I'm dealing with right now.

We joined the YMCA here and I was delighted that they just transferred our membership from the Biddeford Y, rather than making us pay the $60 membership fee all over again. I figured I could easily regain my fitness, with some focused effort.

The first couple days went well. I took baby Kara, and she happily played in the childcare area while I did a Yoga and Pilates class for an hour. That was tough. I did the poses all right, and only fell over once (yep!) when I realized my hand was in the wrong position and tried to put it in the right one without standing up first. Bad move. Fail! (THUNK!) The teacher laughed and said that her theory is that if you don't fall over, you're not trying hard enough. I like her! It was a good class and I was proud of myself for doing so well.

That evening, I started to tighten up. I took some advil, then at 11 I took more.

The next morning, by body launched an all-out revolt. EVERY muscle was SCREAMING at me. "Stupid! Stupid! Stooopid!! See what you did? What were you thinking??"

Even raising my arms to get a glass from the cupboard was painful. And walking! Or bending! Or basically even moving!

Good lord.

It took me Friday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday to get back to normal. Wow.

Just in time for Tuesday's class.

I was delighted on Tuesday that I did OK again. Not as well as the first time...I think my muscles were still in open revolt and didn't want to put themselves through the contortions I was attempting. But I managed.

Afterwards, Kara and I did a "baby gymnastics class" and she enjoyed it, despite putting on the brakes and saying "Nooo!" when I first took her to childcare that morning. I thought we were home free.

Then Wednesday comes along. I tried to take Karalyn in, and she had a meltdown. I really think it was partially my fault. Babycenter.com sent me this dumb article about "separation anxiety" and "terrible twos" and suggested you NEVER "sneak" out when you leave your child. That saying bye-bye will teach her that I will always come back.

Well duh. I've done "bye-bye" ever since she was little. But this time? Not so good. I should have just sneaked out and let them distract her. But Nooooo, I had to push it and do the bye-bye thing.

She melted down, but they were busy distracting her when I left for the treadmills. I had decided that this day, I would run a 5K without stopping. I was steaming along at a pathetic 11 min/mile pace (totally slow!) and suddenly, when I was at 2.2 miles and doing OK, I hear my name on the intercom...interspersed with the sounds of my daughter crying in the background.

Oh geez.

So much for running. Insomnia that night kept me from sleeping, so Thursday I didn't even take Kent to school so I could have the car. No YMCA for me that day!

That brings us to today. Another bout of insomnia had me only sleeping 5 hours, but I managed to get up to take Kent to work so I could have the car, and by 9:30 we were at the Y. She again refused to go in, but this time I distracted her and ran for the door when she wasn't looking.

25 minutes later: "Will Karina please come to childcare?!"

And it was a PATHETIC 25 minutes. I only managed 1.7 miles; some of that was walking! I couldn't even maintain my sad little 11 min/mile pace, so I did "sprints" of 9 1/2 min/mile for about a tenth of a mile or two, then walked. I cannot believe I used to do 2 miles at 10 min/mile, eight sprints at a 5 1/2 min/mile pace (interspersed with jogging 11 min/mile), then two more miles at 10 min/mile!

WHERE has my fitness gone? A couple minutes at 9 1/2 minute/miles?? Holy cow!

So now I'm in this new world. It's called Frustrationland, and I'm BOUND and DETERMINED not to let it get to me.

You might think that I've been here before. Well, I haven't. Remember, 17 years as a morbidly obese woman weighing in at 259 pounds meant that I didn't really have any fitness to speak of. I certainly couldn't run a mile, or even a half for that matter. So every new level was a new PR; a personal record, a "best" so to speak. So each fitness gain was greater than the one before. And every new gain left me feeling better and better, higher and higher.

Now I'm in Frustrationland, and the view is very different. I run a couple miles one day, and the next time I run 2.2 miles. Instead of being pleased at the gain, I'm annoyed that I can ONLY run that far. Running 10 minute miles used to be my "average" pace; now it's my sprints and I can only maintain it for a few minutes at a time. Gone are my 6-8 milers at that pace. I couldn't even complete a 4-mile race right now without stopping. Last Thanksgiving, I did four miles at a super easy 10 minute/mile pace because my leg was hurting!

So Frustrationland is a new and ugly place to live. It's almost as bad as Northern California. 20 "easy" miles in four hours looks so far away from where I am right now, I can't imagine how long it's going to take me to get BACK to that level of fitness.

After leaving the Y with a teary baby in hand, I went straight to my local FleetFeet store and begged for their help. I explained that I don't need stuff; I need resources. They gave me a handful of flyers, but more importantly I got on an email list and I'll be joining a Training Program to do a Thanksgiving 10K race. I explained my predicament, and they said the training will be a Galloway-style run/walk program. Looking over the signup sheet, I can see there are three levels:

1) Run/Walkers
2) Runners, 11-13 min/mile pace group
3) Runners, under 11 min/mile pace group

Peeking through the curtains of Frustrationland, I note that while once I would have checked off level 3 without hesitation, now I can't even be sure I would manage 2. I may have to do 1.

SO! At least I have a goal and a plan in hand. Starting next Saturday, Sept. 13, I will be meeting with a group of people and starting from scratch. I will have to go back to run/walk, and become a newbie all over again. I did this once; I can do it again. From June until September I went from a walk/slight jogger to a half marathoner. I am sure I can manage a triathlon by next spring, and maybe that marathon will be in sight for next year.

I can do this. I will do this. I canNOT let Frustration get me down.

Now if only Karalyn will cooperate and leave the separation anxiety behind...until she does, at least I have my training group, and maybe I'll have to get back to dawn running. It's worth it. Now that I know what fitness and health--and the conspicuous lack of both--feels like, I never want to lose either of them again.

"Success doesn't come to you...you go to it." - Marva Collins

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Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking and my own journey to fitness and health, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight or gain fitness and health, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any exercise and/or weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss and fitness are personal journeys. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck, and congratulations for taking that first step!

The Question: How Did I Do It?

2008-08-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

A couple posts ago, in response to my entry, "A Life Altered Yet Again", Tyler asked me the following question:

"I'm curious, how did you lose weight?"

I've gotten that question a lot, especially from people who knew be "before", and who hadn't seen me in a while. The usual remark is "WHOAH!" followed by, '"How did you do it?''

I wrote a reply out to Tyler, and realized that it's the same answer I always give. I may have even put this in another blog entry someplace. But it bears repeating...the things I did that made a difference for me.

HOW I DID IT:

#1, I started weighing myself daily. Knowing anybody fluctuates up to 2-3 pounds daily, it was just a "check-in" to see how I was doing. If I went up over 3 pounds, I knew I was doing something wrong. Weight Watchers tells you to NEVER do this...but it works for me.

#2, I read YOU: On a Diet by Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen. It reinforced that losing weight is PHYSIOLOGICAL, not psychological OR the whims of the "Diet Gods" (whom I was convinced hated me anyway). They actually have all sorts of good stuff online now, through their website, "RealAge" (which helped me learn how to eat)...but I read the book. Old-fashioned, perhaps, but it worked for me. I re-read parts of it when I felt especially persecuted by those blasted Diet Gods...

#3, I walked. Then I jogged. Then I ran. And I decided to join a club to add the weightlifting component to work on my strength. The trainer there, a wonderful guy, told me NEVER to do the same thing two days in a row. He said your body needs time to recover, and doing things two days in a row doesn't allow it the time to recover and rebuild. So I did weights AND 30 minutes on the elliptical 3x a week, and walking/jogging 3x a week, alternating. The trainer said my walking/jogging was my "weight loss" effort, so aimed for my elliptical training heart rate to be at something like 80% of maximum to train my cardiovascular system. It worked! My cardiovascular system ended up in fabulous shape; I could out-walk and out-run my teenaged niece without huffing and puffing! The trainer was a great help and I stuck with his program for a couple months, then met with him again and started a new program...until I really got serious about running...then I ended up just running most of the time. Mistake--I should have stuck with the weights. It would have made me a stronger runner. Even though I could run half marathons and do triathlons, I was mostly strong on my legs/hips, but not so much in my core and arms.

#4, I wrote down EVERY LITTLE THING I ate and tallied the calories. When I hit 1800 calories (up to 2000) I stopped eating. Period. It only took a few days for me to start to nail down what I could do to maximize my nutrition/satiety without piling on the calories. I noticed that foods that were closest to their natural state (i.e. apple vs. juice) tended to fill me more and "cost" me less. But I did NOT play games and eat junky, tasteless food just because it was low in calories. I ate whatever I wanted, even dark chocolate (Lindt, mmm) but just "budgeted" my calories accordingly by making sure I ate lots of healthy stuff in between--like fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. And I tried to make sure I ate the veggies FIRST when I had dinner, and used a lunch plate instead of one of those huge dinner plates. That helped. If you split your plate into halves, then the half into halves again (so you have two 1/4ths and one 1/2), put the veggies in the half side...and in the 1/4 portions, that's for your lean protein and whole grains. That helps a lot.

#5, Take a multivitamin and calcium, and yes, that's important for guys too. Although I got far better nutrition from the new way of eating anyway, I just wanted to be sure I was covered.

#6, I made healthier choices to lower my cholesterol. It was over 200, and I dropped it to something like 159, with excellent HDL levels, low LDL levels, and oustanding triglycerides. The exercise was a huge help too, but I made sure to eat olive oil instead of butter or margarine, whole grains (whole wheat bread, wild/brown rice mix, etc.) and I had oatmeal daily...I love oatmeal, so it wasn't a tough sell. I also ate salmon weekly if I could, and just tried to eliminate all those trans-fats (hydrogenated or partially-hydrogenated oils) and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), both of which are in just about everything (even crackers!). I think HFCS is the spawn of the devil. :)

Incidentally, my doctor, when I went in for my checkup after telling him I wanted to take care of my cholesterol by myself (without drugs) first, nearly danced when my numbers came in. He was giddy, it was so funny! He called me a "poster child" and said that I was living proof that "diet and exercise work!"

And by the way...one more thing: I NEVER use the word "diet" except to mean "eating plan" as in, "That's part of a healthy diet." I have young, impressionable girls, and I NEVER want them to diet. Ever. It's a roller coaster that you can't get off of. I simply called it "eating healthier", and my daughter knows I eat healthy...but has never once said I was on a diet. I want it to stay that way. Diets are temporary--eating healthy is a permanent choice.

That's not to say some Oreos don't go amiss now and again...!

:)

There. The Answer to The Question. I hope it provides some insight for you, and helps you out in your weight-loss and/or maintenance efforts.

Good luck!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Back in the Saddle...er, Treadmill...again

2008-08-27T23:13:00.001-07:00

Here we go again!

Today was my first day back on track. Since we got here a few weeks ago, I've been checking out a bunch of fitness clubs in the area. One had great classes but the facility was really run-down and gritty. Another one had no pool, so wouldn't have worked for Maddy or ME when I am back into triathlon training. Another one had a pool, great classes, fitness focused on women, treadmills with tv screens on them...but the membership fee was $650! (You don't PAY that though...they knock it down to $480 or so through various "incentives", then you knock off $18 every month you work out...that requires a 3 year commitment at least.)

I was getting bummed but then we found the Y. WHY I didn't look before, considering we belonged to one in Maine, boggles the mind. I'll blame it on being brain-dead due to not exercising.

That same brain-dead-edness also stopped me from considering that my sister's remote control might not be programmed properly (it wasn't) until AFTER the Olympics were over...and after I programmed it properly, requiring finding appropriate codes online, I discovered SHE DOES get NBC. It didn't come in until I set the remote to find the channels automatically...and the channel did not come up when manually hitting the "up channel" button on the VCR.

So we missed the ENTIRE Olympics for nothing.

Argh!!!

Anyway, I digress.

The YMCA here is fabulous. They have the 25-yard pool (outside) and another inside for waterobics or whatever you call it. They have a nice cardio theatre and Cybex weights, and their treadmills are in the upstairs area--and they all have their own TV screens. It's called "Cardio Theatre" and it rocks!! I was bummed about not having access to my own choices on the treadmill, now that I no longer have a basement entertainment center (or a treadmill, for that matter). No problemo--I have full cable choices right at eye level, and I control them. YES!

There is a great daycare, and Kara was a real trooper for her first day there. She was there for an hour and fifteen minutes, and only called for me a couple times. She never cried, and she happily had her milky and some "cack-ows" (crackers) for snack. She was delighted to see me, though, which was gratifying!

There are also CLASSES. Did you see that? I said, there are CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been missing classes since we moved to Maine. What classes? ANY classes! I'll take whatever anyone offers! YES, my home YMCA had classes, but I never tried going to them because I had my own treadmill and I was biking on my own and swimming at the Y. So I didn't bother.

NOW, however, as I'm trying to rebuild my fitness base, I'm delighted to have the option.

Why?

Here's a secret: I know how to do ab work, but unless someone's standing over me cracking the whip, I won't do it. It's a pain, I get bored, and I need the mental/verbal direction to get me going. I'll do it if it's a class, but otherwise...no.

So there are two classes I'm going to take. One is a 1x a week ("Extreme" targeting glutes and guts), and the other is a 2x a week--Pilates/Yoga! So between those, and running 3x a week, I should be doing well within the next two months. I figure it took me two months to lose it, it'll take me 2 months to get it back. I don't have any illusions that I'll be back to running 20 miles on my LSD (Long Slow Distance) runs in just two months, but being able to run 8 to 13 at a time would be wonderful.

This morning, I was so tired I was literally almost cross-eyed. Thankfully Kara slept in, so after dropping Kent & Maddy at school, I went back home and slept for a couple more hours. I was really headachy, and felt so tired that I nearly didn't go to the Y after all. Finally, though, I remembered an old piece of advice I read on RunnersWorld.com:

If you don't feel like going, just at least get dressed, and head out the door. If you get started and still don't feel like running, turn around and go home. However, chances are that you'll feel better and be glad you went.

So I did it. I got dressed, fed the baby, and then took off for the Y. I intended to hang around the babycare area at first, but they told me they'd call me if she cried for "more than ten minutes" (MY child? Miss Sunshine?), and it was best to "dash out before she sees." So off I went. I was on a treadmill in a matter of minutes, and happily settled in at an 11 min/mile pace to the tune of HGTV on my personal video screen.

I lasted two miles.

TWO MILES! How totally pathetic is that?? OH MY GOSH! I couldn't believe it! Two months, and I go from running 20 miles comfortably to feeling like my legs are made of lead in just TWO miles!!

This is COMPLETELY unacceptable!

I had to slow to a walk (15 min/mile pace), then kicked it back up to a run for a mile. After that single mile, I had to walk again, then I ran one more. I finally had enough and walked another 20 minutes, and then that was it.

FOUR MILES. How sad! Four miles used to be my "quick dash" on the treadmill. That was a non-running day. Now that was all I could manage!

I am SO not happy. But I knew this would happen.

This is the weird thing: once you get fit, you hate losing it. And it can be utterly demoralizing and depressing, and it's so easy to say, "Oh well, crud, I blew it, I might as well have another Oreo." And I've done a LITTLE of that, but I knew that I was playing around with unhealthy food for a short period of time, and that I would rapidly getting sick of eating like that...and that soon enough, I'd be back on track. I hit that point this week...and last week when I ate a lot of M&Ms while watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

So it's time to get back into it. The classes are very exciting. I know that with my single-minded focus, which I am infamous for, I will regain my fitness soon enough. I look forward to being able to fit into my clothes better, and hopefully with the glutes/gut and the pilates/yoga, I'll be even more fit than I was before.

Is there a six pack of abs in my future? I doubt that. However, I can certainly tighten things up. And a stronger stomach will make a stronger back, eliminate my back spasms, and help my running form as well. And my shirts will look nicer, too.

So here we go. Time to kick booty again. My willpower AND my WANT-POWER are up and running!! I'm up for 2x pilates/yoga, 1x glutes/gut, and 3x running per week. The other day I'll probably swim or walk or something. Or maybe I'll just take naps. LOL.

Now I just need our house to sell so we can buy one here, and we'll be good to go.

Anyone wanna buy a house in Kennebunkport, Maine? It's really pretty and a screamingly low price for Kennebunkport!

(See that TV in the pictures? That's my basement...the treadmill used to be to the right of the picture, facing the TV...it is such a gorgeous house...!)

Happy days, everyone!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

A Life Altered Yet Again

2008-08-18T14:23:00.004-07:00

HOLY COW.

Well, since I last wrote, my life has completely undergone yet another change.

No, I'm not pregnant.

In late June, on the LAST day of school, Kent found a listing for a job in Redding, California, on Craigslist of all places. He called to query, and 9 days later he was hired and we were in the middle of a transcontinental move back home.

The reason for the move: our entire family--brothers, sisters, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, and grandparents--are within 3 hours of our new home town. We had no family in Maine, and the girls were missing out. So were the grandparents.

So what has this been like? Imagine, if you will, taking one of those snowglobes and flipping it upside down, then shaking it like mad. That was what it felt like, but it was our life that was the snowglobe. We have taken to calling it the "Snowglobe Effect". We had 2 1/2 weeks to completely pack our entire house, and then another week to get to California. Maddy flew with her grandparents; baby Kara drove with us. We made it in 6 days flat, from Kennebunkport Maine to Redding.

So here we are. Back in California. My ENTIRE house is packed and in storage in Portland, Maine. My home is NOT selling (surprise surprise), and I'm living with my sister and her two girls.

To say this has been a "big change" is putting it mildly.

The worst part is that Redding is not exactly a good place to run in the afternoons. The temperatures mid-day, when I usually would go out, range from the 90s to up to 112, as it was last week. I can't take the baby out in that, unfortunately. Today is a glorious day, very breezy, so I could have gone out, but I spent the day on the phone dealing with about a billion little details, like pediatrician bill mistakes and arranging for car windshield wiper repairs (ours got recalled, so not a big thing, just it takes time). The baby is sound asleep, and when she gets up, Kent will be home and it's off to open a bank account.

I've been looking at clubs in the area, and found one I like. It has some neat amenities, and I need to clear it with Kent. But I need to start running. I haven't run in a month or more, and the last thing I did was 8 days ago--walking in San Francisco!

So to say I'm out of shape is an understatement, compared at least to what I was when I did the PolarBear triathlon. I still fit into my clothes, but I haven't got the stamina, I'm sure.

The depressing part is that in late May, I ran 20 miles for the first time ever. I did a four-loop run past Walker Point (President Bush Senior's compound) in Kennebunkport--my last time, coincidentally, but I didn't know I'd never run that loop again as a Mainer. I was so excited--I KNEW I could have run 6 miles more, if I had been asked. I was peaking perfectly for the San Francisco Marathon on August 3.

Then the bottom dropped out, our lives flipped upside down, and August 3 saw me in Eureka, walking with the baby but not much else. So much for San Francisco.

So in the next week or so, I hope that everything will finally settle down, and I can get back into a routine. Kent and Maddy have gone back to school, so Kara and I are settled to our usual at-home routine. Not much is different there anyway. She thrives on routine; so do I.

I cannot WAIT to get back into running. It turns out that California has about a thousand (ok, somewhat less than that) triathlons. One is in two weeks. I can't do that one, I don't have a bike and I haven't run, so I'm really not ready. I could always do it just to get my feet wet (ha ha) and meet people here, but I could also do that by going to volunteer as a body marker or something.

I need a Maine Triathlon shirt. That'd get some attention and I'd meet people that way.

The good news is that there are a lot of people at Kent's new school who run. They meet weekly in the evenings. The bad news is that I can't meet them easily in that neighborhood because, without our house selling in Maine, we can't buy one here. We may actually need to rent the house out, and rent one here, and hope that it sells in a year or two.

Insane.

So there you go. Life intervenes, and it all gets very weird!

Take care, have fun, get out there and do something...and cross your fingers for me. I need it!!

-- Karina, uprooted and homesick, but glad to be back among family in California once again!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

PolarBear Sprint Triathlon - Bowdoin College, Maine

2008-06-11T18:28:00.009-07:00

Lately, it seems like months go by before I update this blog. Ooops!

I mean to, but I get so busy. Between playing with Karalyn, who is now almost 18 months old (wow), running, doing house stuff and working part-time as a bookseller, my life is really busy!

So a number of things have happened since last writing. I participated in the PolarBear Sprint Triathlon held on May 3, 2008 at Bowdoin College in Maine; I continued training for the San Francisco Marathon (August 3, 2008); and of course I had a lovely three weeks of visiting with my parents, who came for a visit from Eureka. Yippee!

More on those another day. Mostly, this is all about the PolarBear.

I was very excited to participate in the PolarBear Sprint triathlon. It's held at Bowdoin (as mentioned above), and involves a 525 yard pool swim, 12 mile bike ride, and a 5K run. I started in the 2nd wave of swimmers--the 2nd slowest group--which was fine with me. I estimated I'd need 12 or 13 minutes to do the swim, but I over-estimated with them to make sure I'd have plenty of time. I used a swim cap, too, which made me look like a dork in my photos (I look like an old woman, ergh!) so in future, I whip that puppy off as soon as I'm out of the water!! LOL!

While watching the first wave start, a few of us noticed that, despite being promised by an announcer that it'd be sunny shortly, it was now pouring down rain outside...directly onto my dry biking clothes, under which was my waterproof Brooks Nightlife Jacket. Oh geez. If I'd thought it was going to rain, I'd have put the clothes UNDER it, rather than trying to organize my clothes in the order I'd put them on!

Anyway, getting into the water, I was excited because I'd done more swimming and had learned how NOT to race compared to last year: that is, I got in the pool determined to go at a strong but manageable pace, not trying to "race" but just be consistently strong and swim with the best technique I had. When the last person out of the pool from the first wave got out, we were off! I felt great--I even lapped the women on either side of me (who were coincidentally #'s 234 and 235, while I was 233), and was out of the pool in just over 12 minutes. I got out and ran outside--where it was still raining. No drying off today, apparently!

I yelled out my number for my split (12:51; 141st out of 177), and hustled over to my bike: the old Raleigh Technium from my college days. That puppy cost somewhere between $350 and $500 (Dad says $500, holy cow), and Dad had it FedExed out to me because he knew that riding my mountain bike is hard in a triathlon. I had literally gotten it in time to get it tuned up and taken out for one ride before the race. In fact, with the possibility of rain, I nearly decided against it, because the skinny tires had me scared. However, I had brought it after all. I got dressed in my riding clothes, took a bite or two of Clif bar, and headed out on the bike. I got to the road and took off. I rode with one of the other women (235) almost the entire time.

Near the end, she got ahead of me, but then at one tight intersection, the traffic got so jammed up she unexpectedly braked and nearly dumped her bike. I was so impressed that she didn't fall; I kept yelling for her "keep it up" and "you're doing great!" but she never caught me on the bike. I think she was rattled.

We pulled in within a minute of each other (45:42, 109th out of 177 riders), and I quickly tossed off my jacket and helmet. A quick grab of something to eat (I'd snacked on the ride, too, but my Bento Box--the food carrier--was so small, it was a pain), and I was off again. Immediately, I cramped up. Every time I try to drink gatorade/water mix on a ride, I cramp. I am just going to stick with water from now on. I suffered through two full miles of cramps before it eased up, and the last mile was blissfully free of pain--but my legs were torched from the bike. I had ridden too hard, considering I was so psyched to be on a good bike, and I was trying to keep up with 235! Duh!

When I came in to the finish, running the 3 miles in 31:26 (128th out of 177), I clicked my watch and saw that, my goal being "in under 1:30", I had made it JUST under 1:30! The official timers had my time at 1:30 exactly, but I know my watch was right because I clicked it as I started and as I finished. However, I'll take their time. I was bummed that I didn't run better than a ten minute mile, but considering that I was running in pain and exhausted, a ten minute mile is good! I need to stop being such a pain about it!

Final time: 1 hour, 30 minutes, .003 seconds; 121st out of 177. I met my goal time, and shaved 15 minutes off my previous triathlon time (granted, it did have a 3 mile longer bike portion...)!

I was so happy I was jumping around screaming--for myself--because nobody else was there! Kent was at USM giving a workshop on literacy, and the girls were being babysat because, really, there was nobody to watch them AT the triathlon, and they couldn't do it with me of course! I did see Rebecca Lamb, though, which was cool--she works with Kent--and that was nice. I happily got in line for a massage (free), when a Team Nor'Easter member out of Peak Performance Multisport in Portland came up with a DONUT.

OMG. A DONUT. I wanted one! I was starving! I said, "WHERE did you get that??" He told me there was a WHOLE TABLE of them!! I said, "I'm outta here!" and ran for a donut--chocolate. Yum! I was so hungry! (I had some banana too.)

When I came back, I let two other guys go ahead of me since I left the line, but the Nor'Easter guy let me go first. The massage was a great help, and she gave me a few hints about how to eliminate the cramping next time. I've used that a few times now when I started to cramp, and it helps. I push on the muscles right under my ribs for a few seconds at a time, moving from middle to side, and it goes away. Whew.

Afterwards, I ate a bit more, then went for a shower. We were at Bowdoin College's Phys Ed facility, of course. A shower felt SO good, I was so cold and wet--the warm, dry clothes helped a ton. While there, I spoke to a nice lady who was also a Team Nor'Easter member. I said I'd considered being a member but I couldn't make their training. She said it didn't matter, because it was mostly for support and if you couldn't train, at least you'd know people there.

I thought it sounded good, so the next week I went to a Team Nor'Easter social night at Peak Performance in Portland, and decided to sign up. I've since gone to a 2nd night, and Jean was a great help in talking to me about the marathon plans and my running schedule. The people rock.

I expect I'll do at least one more triathlon this year; maybe the CELT again in September. But for right now, my goal/focus is the SF Marathon August 3. I have done my longest run to-date about a couple weeks ago now--20 miles, while my parents were here. Took me just over 4 hours, and I felt like if I needed to, I could have run another 6. My legs weren't trashed, and I felt pretty good doing the full four laps of 5 miles each around the Presidential Loop.

That was a huge mental hurdle. Going out, I didn't WANT to run it at all; I wanted to quit. I REALLY didn't think I could do it. I was dreading it like crazy!! But when I did it, I was like, OK, now I KNOW I can do a marathon!! It was like when I did my first true brick workout, riding 15 miles then running 3; I knew I could do a triathlon. Now I know I can, it's just a matter of how long it takes me, not whether I can finish or not.

So that's my experience, and a few pictures.

"A good time was had by all." :D

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Winter Training, Part II

2008-03-16T12:40:00.009-07:00

It's been a long time since I was on. Life intervenes.

My Half at the Hamptons was a good experience, but not necessarily one I wish to repeat. It wasn't the running, it was the cold, wind, snow, sleet and freezing rain that got me.

Starting out:
0.8 miles down,
12.3 miles left to go...!

I ran a 10 minute/mile pace for a while, but after a couple miles I had to walk for a minute and drink a lot of water. I had a horrific pain in my right side and under my ribs. I tried kneading it, stretching, breathing deeper, and drinking water. It took three miles, but I finally shook it off. It was horrible!

Despite the horrific pain in my side,
I have a happy smile going here.
I'm so glad to be doing my 2nd half marathon!

I maintained a decent pace, though. I was trying to keep the 11 min/mile pacesetter in sight; it wasn't until mile 8 that I heard from other people that no, I wasn't imagining it--he was running more like a 10-minute-mile pace. I had thought so, but I kept wondering if he was starting out fast to "bank" time for slowing down later. Or maybe he was just not a great pacesetter! Eventually I passed him, and ended up finishing before he did.

I got too warm, despite the cold weather,
and had to undo some layers. You can see
my water bottle in my right hand--
I was still trying to shake that side pain.

Eventually, I slowed way down as the cold and weather started bogging me down. It was tough slogging, with the precipitation kicking in around mile 6, then the freezing rain literally bogging down my running pants so that I had to keep hiking them up around my waist as I ran. My drawstring was broken so that was no help.

The last couple miles were especially tough, with the wind whipping straight into our faces and straight through my soaking pants. Running into a headwind is bad enough; doing it when wet and trying to speed up during the last bit is near impossible. I eventually managed to force myself to manage a pathetic kick at the end, and finished in 2:22:39, knocking a good 14+ minutes off my first half marathon time (which was run in perfect conditions, no wind).

A couple days later, with my finishers medal.
I still cannot figure out what the figure in the center
is supposed to represent.
To me, it looks like a 1920s flapper
sitting on a pile of boxes and bags from a shopping spree!

I was really happy with my performance, and was lucky in that Kent and the girls happened to drive by (looking for parking) right as I raced across the finish line. So they saw me finish! However, when I stopped to take my timing chip off my shoe, my stomach hurt so badly, I felt so sick and nauseous, but not like I had to throw up. I just needed some nutrition and DESPERATELY needed to stretch. I spent 20 or 30 minutes chatting with Amy and her family, and stretching out the body, while enjoying an Accelerade and some of my favorite Stacy's Pita Chips, which LocoRunning always seems to provide.

Oh, and of course, the requisite banana.

Some time later, "Auntie Sue" (the girls' Godmother and our dear friend) told me that all that sick feeling was probably a bit of hypothermia; all the blood was being shunted to major organs to prevent me from going into cold shutdown, but at the same time I was trying to force it into extremities with the running. She said running this was no doubt a good experience and a great challenge, but not something I should consider repeating because of the hypothermia dangers.

I told her, Not to worry--I am DONE with running half marathons in New England in FEBRUARY! If I run another February half marathon, it's going to be someplace like Sedona or Hawaii! I am not THAT addicted to running that I'm willing to do that again.

The sad part is that a runner, Bill Paradis, died on the course--a man from North Berwick. I passed the ambulance at mile 6, and the women he was with were crying. The papers later said they rushed him to the hospital, but I saw his sneakers sticking out of the end of the gurney inside the ambulance, and NOBODY was rushing anywhere. I'm sure he was already gone (massive heart attack) and the "rushing to the hospital" to pronounce was a formality. It was very very sad.

Apparently he was a pretty nice man, an oustanding member of the running community, and was a supporter of Olympic Marathon hopeful Emily LeVan (http://www.twotrials.org), who is trying to qualify while her 5 year old daughter Maddie is simultaneously battling leukemia.

Bill Paradis will be much missed by the seacoast community.

___________________________________________________________________

Anyway, with that said, now I am going to veer into another direction. As promised, I need to address the issue of winter running--not that we'll be doing much more of that (hopefully).

When it comes to clothing, it's all about the layers. You need to be comfortable--not too hot, and definitely not too cold. You need something that wicks away sweat, so it doesn't get cold and clammy (or worse yet, freeze to you).

So what is layering? Basically, it's putting two or more pieces of clothing over each other to help you keep dry and warm when you're out in the elements. Then, as you get warm or cold, you can add to or "delete" items from your attire.

"The Layers"

The first layer you want up next to your skin is the wicking inner layer. That is the layer of clothing that will trap warm air against your body, but it will also transfer, or "wick", away the moisture you produce when you exercise. You know--sweat. You can use anything made of polypropolene or microfleece. I like coolmax products, and others like Power Dry underwear. Under Armour makes good stuff too. You'll see it on the label.

The second or middle layer needs to be for warmth. Its purpose is to insulate the body, to help you retain heat. Wool is a great option, unless it makes you itch. My preference is fleece, but you can also use down or primaloft (depending on conditions). Sweaters, jackets, vests--all are good options.

The third or outer layer is for protection from the weather. This is the layer that's going to keep that rain, snow and sleet out--or, in the case of me during my last half marathon, the layer that DIDN'T keep the rain, snow and sleet out. Some good choices include gore-tex shells (which are waterproof), nylon shells (which are water resistant, unless you treat them with some waterproofing option), and insulated jackets or parkas. My Brooks Nightlife shell (the bright yellow one) was actually quite effective; it was only the Sporthill running pants that I had on that weren't weather-resistant, and that bogged down.

Of course, you will probably want some sort of weather resistant and warm hat, and the same with the gloves, and maybe even something to wear over your face if it's cold enough.

There you have it. The three layers that keep you toasty.

The last thing you need to know when you go out is that all this clothing should NOT make you feel toasty as you run out the front door. If that's the case, you'll be overheated before you hit the first mile-marker.

Ideally, you should feel somewhat chilled when you first start out. You'll warm up as you go, and then you'll be good for the run.

As far as wind, if you have to run in windy conditions, and you have any choice, it's best to run into the wind on the way out, then with the wind on the way back. That way the wind won't be chilling you all the way home when you're at your sweatiest.

Some people love to run in winter. As for me, I have learned to love my treadmill. If it weren't for the fact that I wanted to keep my fitness level or improve, I wouldn't have worried about running at all. I HATE the cold.

So what am I doing living in Maine?? Hee hee! Ask me next summer and fall when the weather here is glorious!

I hear a baby crying out for her Mom. Time to hit the road.

Be well!

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Winter Training, Part I

2008-01-14T10:21:00.001-08:00

Well, it has been a long time since I've updated. Life intervenes, and when the triathlon was over, my training (for the triathlon) lapsed. I have been running, however, at least three times a week ever since, with my long runs being between 10 and 13 miles. So that at least is going really well.

As I sit here writing, the snow is flying and building up outside my windows. We've gotten about five inches so far, and more is on tap to fall. I should leave for work in one hour, assuming I can get out of the driveway!

All this snow is beautiful, but it begs the question: How do you train in wintertime in Maine??

I am such a newbie, not only to this new body, but also to the concept of continual exercise. I used to exercise for a while, and then quit when I lost the weight I wanted. Or I would go out and do something now and again, like go for a walk or swim in a pool if one was handy...but not for the specific purpose of moving my body and keeping it in shape. I guess you could say that, even when I was not fat, I never was in very good shape. I didn't have much in the way of muscle, that's for sure! I certainly wasn't one to hit the gym or be dedicated about any sort of exercise at all.

So this is all very new to me. Add to that the winters in Maine being snowy and icy, and it limits what I have available to me in a way that I never dealt with in California. At least there, it's pretty temperate year-round, even in the north (Eureka) where I am from. Yes, it might rain, but there was no ice on the roads and the temperatures, at worst, MIGHT dip to the 30s, but usually would be in the 40s and 50s.

In Maine, we call that "T-shirt weather"! LOL!

So here I am, a new runner and triathlete, with a fit and healthy body, staring out the window at all that snow.

Yes, I could pull out my snowshoes, but when you have to take care of a baby during the day, that's not a great option.

The ice on the road pretty much nixes running and biking. I don't belong to the YMCA (yet) so there is noplace to swim!

My answer: the treadmill.

Sure, it's not sexy, and the scenery never changes, but as a way to keep the fitness base I've built, I have found it invaluable. I can speed up the treadmill to get in some interval training (running at a steady pace with "bursts" of speed, or sprints), I can keep it at a higher pace to do some tempo training, I can change the elevation to simulate hills, and I can put it at a slower pace and do a long 2-hour run to simulate a half marathon.

The only thing that really stinks about it is that it doesn't simulate the real-life pounding your body gets on the road. True, it's easier on the knees, but when there is a half-marathon in the future, nothing beats being out on the road for the practice.

And yes, I have another half-marathon in my future. February 10, to be exact, the Half at the Hamptons (Hampton Beach, NH), put on by Loco Running company. Another 13.1 miler is looming.

Am I nuts? Probably. But it dawned on me that, without a serious race in my future, it might be all too easy to let the training go and just do the minimal. I want to keep the solid running base I've built, even if I couldn't keep the bike or the swim, and perhaps even add to it if possible.

The weather cooperated last week with a January thaw, and I was able to finally get out for two long runs on the road. I ran 5.8 miles one day, and then last Saturday, I put in a 13.2 miler as practice for the half marathon. I ran that faster than I ran my original half marathon. That one I did in 2 hrs. 36 minutes; Saturday, I ran it in 2 hours 25 minutes. I wasn't going for speed, and I know that on race day the adrenaline will have me moving at a faster clip a bit more easily than I was on Saturday, but I was happy regardless, as I managed an 11 minute mile pace (compared to the 12-minute mile pace I had last September).

That increase in speed over such a long distance gave me the confidence that yes, I'm doing this right. Running 3x a week, eating properly (and still tracking, EVERY DAY, what I eat and the calories in it), and building in intervals, long runs and tempo runs in my weekly training runs on the treadmill is not only helping me keep my base, but it's helping me to improve.

I can't wait for the half marathon. My only worry is a knee that gets stiff on me. I have been to the orthopedic sports medicine clinic in Maine, and the physician's assistant X-rayed it and did tests, and he declared that it seems to be fine. I am just "sitting in a bogus position" sometimes, and that makes it stiffen up.

No, I'm not satisfied with the explanation, but I'll see what happens in the half marathon and go back to see them again--the doctor this time, not the PA.

Anyway, winter training can be done. I will have some more specific ideas next time for winter training, both in gear and in activities, but for now, I just wanted to toss out an update and
let you know that no, I haven't gone back to my old fat ways.

I'm still in this for the long haul!

Happy fitness, everyone!

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
- Jules Renard

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

I AM a Triathlete!

2007-10-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

It is done!

After months of work losing weight, learning how to jog (then run), and practicing my biking, swimming AND running, I have finally done it!

I have become a Triathlete!

On Sunday morning, September 30, I arrived bright and early at the Cape Elizabeth (CELT) Challenge triathlon venue. It was 6 a.m., and as I rolled my bike up to the registration table to pick up my packet, I nervously saw I was the first one there! It was ridiculously dark--the sun wasn't even up yet--but I wanted to be sure that I had plenty of time to get myself set up, since it was my first triathlon.

Next time, I'll opt for an extra hour in the sack. Watching the sun rise was pretty, but it wasn't THAT pretty. And it was COLD out! I was hoping for a cool day because I don't like running in hot temperatures, but this was ridiculous.

Anyway, being there that early meant that meant I had my choice of place to rack my bike over at the transition area. I chose a spot near the entry/exit for the bike leg, right by a light pole in a grassy area so it would be easy to find and run to. Everything I had read said to be sure to find a spot that's easy to locate when you are in the middle of the race, but given the size of the field of competitors (just over 130), I needn't have worried.

Some time later, as more people started to arrive, I went to get "body-marked", where they write your race number and age on your body in permanent marker.

My race number (left) and age (right)

Then it was time for an interminable wait for my "wave" in the swim race to begin--after 9:00 a.m. I had over two hours to wait from the time I was bodymarked until I hit the water. During that time, I ate a snack (peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a banana), listened to my iPod, and finally stripped down to my swimsuit and went to sit out the hour-plus wait in the pool area itself.

Did I mention it was REALLY COLD that morning? I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and long Adidas pants, and still I was cold! Yet I had to strip to my swimsuit and run inside to wait, because I didn't want to be juggling clothes at the pool! I had intended to bike and run in shorts and a tank top, but rethought it after freezing all morning, and so I set up my pants and long-sleeved TRI shirt so they would be ready to go, just in case.

I got lucky in that I saw Erin, a teacher friend that I used to work with, and we spent some time chatting and catching up on everyone at school. It was nice to see a friend, and to be able to hear how things are going in the teaching world. Teaching 8th grade science was fun, but I prefer being home with the baby right now.

Anyway, pretty soon Kent showed up with Kara and Maddy, and so they were there as my wave was called "on deck", ready to go.

Me (center, blue and yellow suit), waiting for my wave to start

Pretty soon, we were told to get in the water, and the countdown began to start my 425 yard swim. It was not a chip-timed event, which means I didn't wear a timing chip that would record my actual start, transitions, and time in each leg of the race. We all got started at the same time by a common clock, and then the transition times were noted as we ran past volunteers. In retrospect, I'm sad about this, because the transitions in and out of the bike and run were added to the bike portion, which means there's no way to find out exactly how long I took in each transition.

ANYWAY, so I was in the water, my goggles were defogged and on, and my timer watch was ready to go. They counted down and we were off!

Immediately, my right goggle filled with water, and I was forced to swim one-eyed across the pool. After the first length, I stopped, fixed my goggle, and headed back for length two of 17 total. I felt totally "discombobulated" from the goggle fiasco, and suddenly I realized I forgot to start my timer! At the end of length two, I stopped, hit what I thought was the start button, and went out for length three. Partway through I realized that I probably hit "reset" instead of start, and sure enough, I had. So at the end of length four, I finally hit the start button.

By this time, I was so out-of-sorts that I ended up out of sync. It wasn't good. I felt like I was flopping around; I couldn't settle down. My pace was off--normally I can swim 17 lengths in 11.5 minutes, but I was clearly going too fast and my breathing was erratic. I can normally take four strokes and breathe, but this time I was doing two strokes-breathe-two strokes-breathe, which is the wrong pace for me. I get out of breath doing that, oddly enough.

Me (center) swimming as hard as I could!

Halfway through I was forced to take a one-length breaststroke swim, because I was just too tired. I slogged along, and eventually I managed to get out of the pool--dead last in my heat, which was the 10-12 minute heat. I got a big cheer (I heard Erin above the crowd), and they started the next heat almost exactly as I got out!

Next time, I'm going to OVER-estimate my swim time! I talked to another competitor later, and she and I both felt like we were swimming as fast as we could, but we were both dead last in a field of people who were swimming 2-4 minutes faster than we were in our heat!!

Anyway, I got out, walked to grab my towel (it was slippery), then ran out of the building into the cold, cold morning air. OH MY GOSH. It was awful! I sprinted across the parking lot (miraculously missing any little pebbles or debris--it must've been swept), and they noted my time as I entered transition. My time was 11 and a half minutes, which means I swam faster than my usual pace, despite the problems!

At transition, I realized the cold wasn't as bad as it had been an hour and a half ago, so I opted for shorts after all, but I did put on my long-sleeved shirt, because I was heading for the bike part and though the wind on my cold, wet torso might be a bit much.

At transition, putting my shoes on and laughing as Kent takes my picture

I got my helmet on, put on the black "race belt" that had my race number (27) affixed to it...
...added my biking gloves, ate a few Clif Shot Bloks (salty margarita--yeah, I'm hooked after the half marathon I ran), drank some water, and pulled my bike off the rack. I ran my bike to the mount/dismount line, mounted up, and was OFF on the 14 mile bike ride!

Immediately, there was a hill. Did I mention that this was reputed to be a "relatively flat" course? Whoever decided on that was clearly out of their minds! There were rolling hills, long uphills, and some nice long downhills that were payoff for the harder parts. It was a good ride. It was a double loop, where I had a small inner loop before the bigger outer one. I was glad I had my water bottle full of Gatorade--I needed it.

During the bike portion, I was passed repeatedly by people on those beautiful aerodynamic TRI bikes with the aerobars (the $5000 bikes, oh my), and I actually passed two people--though in retrospect, I now think they weren't part of the race!

Every time someone passed me, I yelled, "Good morning!" and "Looking great!" They all yelled encouraging things back--and that was the theme of the race. EVERY person who passed me, in the same or opposite direction, yelled something positive. EVERY TIME. It was such a great experience! One lady who passed me on the bike was very supportive--she said, "You're doing great, and oh my gosh, you're doing it on a mountain bike!" (That's like racing a bunch of lamborghinis when you're driving a Jeep.) I yelled back, "Thanks, it's all I had, we make do!"

There was one point I was glad of the mountain bike--one part of the road was really trashed, it was broken up and had weird dips in it. The race official yelled, "Be careful of the road--oh but you're on a good mountain bike, you'll be fine!" It was the one time I was glad I had my bike. It's not fast, but it's sturdy.

Halfway through the race, I heard some beeping and looked back--it was Kent and the girls, in the Honda! He passed me by, and a bit later I saw him on the side of the road, where he'd pulled over to take pictures and videotape me! I waved as I went by, and continued on.

Halfway through the bike course

A bit down the road, I heard a noise and looked back--Kent was pacing me, driving right behind me as I rode! I was coming to the next turn, and as a race volunteer waved me around, I yelled, "Don't mind my stalker back there--it's just my husband and my daughters!" He laughed!

Once back at the school, I shifted my feet on the pedals so I was pedaling more on my heels, and spun the pedals at a "high cadence" to loosen up my leg muscles for the run. That was a bit hard, coming down that same hill I had to bike up on my way out. I was so excited to be done with the bike, though, I grinned all the way in!

Coming in to transition (FYI, Beth Rand was the race photographer)

I pulled up to the mount/dismount line and stopped, and the race official pronounced me "perfect!" (Not sure why, but I'll take it.) I ran the bike in, whipped off my long-sleeved shirt, tossed on my tank top, ate a few more Shot Bloks, and took off, putting my race belt back on as I ran. I had a bit of the "jelly legs" syndrome, but within a minute or so, my legs were fine.

Starting out on the cross-country run

The run was a cross-country 3-mile run through the woods and over roots, across mud puddles and up and down hills. I thought I was going so slow! I felt like I was almost moving backwards! Yet the encouragement kept on coming. "You're almost there!" and "Looking strong!" and "Keep it up!" and "You're doing great!" It was so cool.

I ran on and on...finally I hit the one-mile mark, got a cup of water, and took off again. Very shortly thereafter I hit the 1 1/2 mile mark, where we literally had to run around a pylon and head back. Partway across what looked like a salt marsh (I was too busy running to really look closely at it) there was a wooden walkway and, in the middle of that, a little wooden bridge. On the bridge railings were about seven teenagers, and they were busy cheering literally everyone who went by. When I went by the first time, they cheered me. On my way back, I told them THANK you because I could hear them through the woods, and it kept me oriented! They thought that was neat, and yelled even louder!

Back through the woods, then up the last hill I went. One very fit, very tall man passed me, and all the way up that last hill he kept yelling for me, "Come on, you're almost there, you can do it! Go! Go! Go!" I had to laugh, he was so exuberant!

Yelling HI to Kent, Maddy and Karalyn...

...as I sprinted in to the finish!

I made it up the hill, rounded the corner, and sprinted for the finish. As I crossed the line, I whooped and yelled, "Oh my God, I can't believe I actually did it!" The people at the finish cheered for me, and Kent and the girls were there right away. Maddy took this rather unflattering picture...

...and I got lots of hugs!

My goal was to finish in less than two hours. I made my goal, finishing in 1 hour, 46 minutes and 43.6 seconds. My breakdowns were as follows:

425 yard Swim (plus run to the transition area): 11 minutes, 31.3 seconds (fastest I've ever done)
14 mile Bike (plus transition time after swim, before run): 1 hr., 2 min and 4.9 seconds
3 mile (5K) Run: 33 min, 7.5 seconds--an 11 minute mile pace

I was really proud of myself, and for the rest of the day I kept occasionally grinning and saying, "I ran a triathlon! Hee hee!"

Afterwards, Kent took Kara and Maddy to the book store for a book and a snack, and I took advantage of the post-race barbecue to get something to eat. The rest of the day we spent out at the Fryeburg Fair, in Fryeburg Maine. We realized that, since I got Sunday off for the triathlon, this would be our best chance to go--every other weekend I'd be working. We were there until about 7, and had a great time.

Now that I've finished my first triathlon, I'm eager to do it again. I want to see if I can improve on my time, and I would like to redo that swim--I'm not happy with how it went. I also thought the organization was OK, but not superb, for this race, and would like to try the Kennebunk FireMan Sprint in August, which is the same distance. The only drawback that I can see is that it includes an ocean swim. I don't care about the ocean part--I've swum oceans many times. I just don't like the COLD that forces you to wear a wetsuit. That part I'm not looking forward to, although apparently I can rent a wetsuit.

I think I'd also like to do an Olympic distance. That's twice the distance, with a swim of 1.5K, 40K bike, and 10K run. There is one in Auburn, California, just in the foothills above Sacramento, where we used to live. I'd like to do that one. It's in May of 2008, so it'd be just after my 42nd birthday, and a nice way to celebrate.

Overall, I'm pleased with how I've trained, although I am disappointed with my swim. I know I could do better, but considering I practiced only about six times (two in a pool of the proper length), I think I did fine. The bike I was disappointed with only because the mountain bike is hardly a speed demon; I wish I could try it on a TriBike with aerobars and see how much faster I could go. Hard as I trained, and often as I trained, no matter how long or short the ride (as long as 25 miles, as short as 5), I could never go much faster than 15 miles per hour.

I am most proud of the running. I have come a long, long way from my old 20-minute-mile walk pace. Being able to run more than 30 seconds seemed like such a long shot, but that was only six months ago. Now I can run ten miles straight without stopping, and I can even enter races. I may not finish fast, but I finish, and so far, I'm never last!

At this point, I just have some small 5K races to run. As of the writing of this blog, I've already done one of them. I'll write about that another day. For now, I'm starting to shift into running-only mode, practicing to keep my fitness level and to maybe improve my speed over the winter. Eventually I'll start training for a tri again, but for now, I am just focusing on my family, working at the bookstore, and trying to adjust to being up until past midnight four nights a week for my job.

Just wait, though. I've done one triathlon; I am a triathlete. I don't want this to be a one-off deal.

I will be back!

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Transitioning from Jogger to Runner

2007-09-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

"You need to be flexible with your workouts. Some days you just don't have it, but some days you will shock yourself with your strength." -- Dotsie Cowden, U.S. National Cycling Team member
____________________________________________________________________

Dianne Jones (blue and black) and
me (in purple), running at Long
Sands Beach during the inaugural
women's only Maine Coast
Half Marathon, Sept. 23, 2007.

I have never considered myself a runner. Even when, as a teenager, I would take my walkman out for long runs around San Francisco when in town visiting my sister, I would call it "jogging". It didn't matter if I was "jogging" for three hours--I was still only jogging, because I did it slowly, and I took walk breaks.

Running, on the other hand, was something that people did when they were (a) going really fast, or (b) going really long distances without stopping.

This past Sunday, I passed the point where I can now feel comfortable calling myself a runner.

How did that happen, you ask?

Simple. I ran my first-ever half marathon.

You may recall from an earlier blog that I signed up for the inaugural Maine Coast (women's only) Half Marathon in York, Maine, to be held on September 23. When I "jogged" the York Hospital 5K in June, there was a postcard on my car window advertising this race. Instead of tossing it, I held onto it--because of two little words:

"Walkers welcome!"

Well heck. I could WALK 13 miles, I knew that I could do that. Up to this point I'd only ever walked 7 at a time, but I figured from June to September I should have been able to improve to walking 13. So I held onto the postcard.

After spending the summer in Eureka, I was comfortable jogging a couple miles, so I decided to sign up for the half marathon. I was going to sign up as a walker, but there was a proviso that said, "If you plan to jog any part of this course, you must sign up as a runner." So I did, despite being scared to death of that term.

Over the past two months, though, I improved to the point where I could jog 7 miles straight, nonstop. That was a huge breakthrough, and I was so excited to try out my "new legs" in the half marathon last Sunday.

The experience was incredible. I finally splurged and got myself a real "cool-max" tank top to wear (me? in a tank top?)--no more hot cotton. I also got some cool-max shorts at Target, on sale yet. So the morning of the race, when I lined up, I felt good. There is something to be said for dressing the part. I felt like such a real runner!

My only concern was that the race was USA Track & Field sanctioned, which means the rule is no iPods. That was a big concern because I run best when I have music. I need the distraction. Otherwise I obsess about my legs, my breathing, my side (I always get a cramp), how far I have gone, and so forth. The music takes me out of that and allows me to just go, without all the internal dialogue messing me up. Thankfully, I saw lots of other women with iPods, and nobody seemed to be policing it, so I decided to wear mine after all.

The walkers set out first at 8:30 a.m. I was nervous about this. I had visions of being the last one in--not that it would be disgraceful, as long as I finished. I just didn't want to never be able to catch any walkers. I kept trying to figure out how far I'd have to run to pass at least one walker. It was my own little "pride" thing that I still need to get out of my system, I guess.

At 9:00, we lined up on the course, and I positioned myself about 2/3 of the way back in the pack. There were so many women! I saw all shapes, sizes, colors, fitness levels, some with iPods, some without, lots of women in cool max clothing and lots and lots of women in cotton. I was pleased that I'd run with my Moms on the Run group all this time, because at least I knew the cotton wouldn't hold me back today.

When the race started, we all moved forward at a walk. There was a "chip timer" on my shoelace that would activate when I crossed the start, thereby entering my official start time, so I wasn't too worried. I had queued up my iPod to start with Keith Urban's "Days Go By", one of my favorite songs, but somehow messed it up. It was a happy coincidence, though, because when I hit the "play" button, what I got instead was Rascal Flatts' "Life is a Highway".

If you have seen the Disney/Pixar movie "Cars", you will recognize the song as the one that plays when Mack the truck drives Lightning McQueen on an all night drive to get to California for the final race to determine the winner of the Piston Cup. That scene is one of my favorites of the whole movie, because although the scene is totally computer-generated, it accurately reflects what it's like to travel long distances out on the open road.

This made it the PERFECT song choice! It started just as I crossed the Start line, and the appropriateness actually brought me to tears!

I started out at what felt like an easy pace, and watched all these women run past me. That was a bit demoralizing, but I kept thinking, so long as I'm ahead of SOMEONE, that's OK! (That's my "pride" thing talking.) I finally settled into a field of women that seemed to be going my pace.

Suddenly, a women came up alongside me, and somehow we got to talking. Her name was Dianne Jones, and she's from New Jersey. Then another lady joined us. Her name is Jen Nachbur, and she's from Vermont.

I shut off my iPod as the the three of us started talking as we were running together. Jen was running for Team in Training, and so she had scheduled walk breaks that she took, so now and again it was just Dianne and me. Yet Jen kept catching up to us, despite the fact that Dianne and I just ran without stopping.

Dianne was a bit concerned about our pace. We were on an 11-minute-mile pace, which is a bit faster than she (or I) wanted to go. But I couldn't pull up, because I was comfortable.

That still strikes me--I was comfortable running!

Another amazing thing is that I started passing people. The same women who had passed me were now walking, and I was still running...and zipping past them. I was so beyond psyched. It was such a revelation--I could run well enough to keep my pace and pass other people who had started faster than me.

Dianne and me, joking with the photographer

That was an amazing feeling. I look back now, a few days past the run, and I remember it more with a sense of gliding than pounding. I felt so strong when I was running (and passing others); I felt like I could accomplish anything. I amazed myself at my strength.

During one point in the run, one race official who was stopping traffic started laughing. He told us, "Only women could run a half marathon and still talk all the way through it!" We laughed also and I yelled back, "We're multi-talented!"

About mile six, Dianne gave me a sports jelly bean, which helped because I was getting hungry. My stomach actually growled! I drank some Accelerade when it was offered at mile 4, and then by mile 8, I was getting really hungry. Once I passed the 7 mile mark, I told Dianne and Jen, "Every single step I take now is a personal best!" I had never run that far without stopping before.

At mile 8, I was all ready for some Accelerade...but to my surprise and delight, they were also passing out something called Clif Shot Bloks, which are thick 10-gram gummy squares of carbohydrate in the form of organic brown rice syrup mixed with electrolytes. They were handing out packets of a flavor called "Margarita with salt", but I didn't even look at that. I just knew I needed some fuel, and I needed it NOW.

After drinking some Accelerade and water, I ripped open the package (while still running) and ate one of the Shot Bloks.

Oh my. It was simultaneously the worst thing I have ever tasted, and the best thing I have ever tasted.

I was half expecting some kind of sticky-sweet stuff like the "GU" and gels many runners prefer. Instead I got a shot of margarita (yum!) with a lot of salt.

How smart is the Clif company to make margarita with salt? It turns out that when you run and sweat a lot, of course you lose salt. That means as you drink water, you lose your electrolyte balance--hence the need for sports drinks like Gatorade and Accelerade. By the 8 mile mark, I must have been pretty salt-depleted, because I was already talking about walking.

Two of the Shot Bloks fixed me right up, and I was good to go. I ate two more of them over the next two miles, then just held the package in my right hand--a good idea because it stopped me from clenching my fist, which also halted any cramps in their tracks.

I later forgot all about the Shot Bloks, unfortunately, and after mile ten I dropped to a walk for one minute. I wish I'd thought to try a Shot Blok first, but the walk break was good for me. Diane kept going, but Jen was near me, so after my one-minute walk break, I started running again. I knew the last three miles would be my toughest, despite it "only being a 5K" at this point, so I used my iPod to get my groove back. That helped a lot--I ran along, singing and smiling, waving at people and shouting "THANK YOU!" to any race officials I saw.

Over the last three miles, I took a total of four one-minute walk breaks. Jen and I stayed pretty even, but Dianne was long gone.

When we rounded the last corner to take us into the final stretch, Jen and I were side-by-side. I saw Kent and the girls, waving at me as I ran past, and then I yelled to Jen, "Shall we kick it?" She said yes, and we started to SPRINT. We finished the race that way--sprinting to the end.

Jen Nachbur and me in our final sprint

I'd done it! I finished my first half-marathon, running most of the time, and my final time was 2 hours, 36 minutes and 56 seconds, which put me in at an "11 minute, 59 second per mile" pace. Another personal best.

Afterwards, we all got medals, and I immediately went to find food and stretch. While I felt great during the run, as soon as I stopped, things started to cramp up. My stomach (which my Dad later said was my diaphragm) cramped, my legs started to ache, and I had to stretch, drink, stretch, eat, stretch, stretch, and stretch some more. I thanked Jen for keeping me motivated, and I found Dianne and thanked her for not letting me stop at 8 miles (I wanted to). Both of those women were SO key in getting me through as far and as well as I did, and I will forever be grateful to them both.

The rest of the day was spent resting, eating, and smiling. I later took a 30 minute walk to help stretch my legs, and Kent presented me with a gift--a $100 bill to buy a new iPod shuffle, one of the little ones, so I wouldn't have it banging against me as I run, and I won't have the headphone cords yanked out by weight machines or the jogging stroller any longer, because it won't be hanging down the front of me. I was shocked and really thrilled, and have already loaded it up.

The color? Bright pink of course!

That day will forever be etched on my mind as a highlight of my life. It was a day I did something I swore I could never do--run over ten miles non-stop, completing a half marathon in just over 2 1/2 hours. It has inspired me as nothing else in my life ever has--except becoming a mother.

I told both Dianne and Jen about my plans to try the Honolulu Marathon. They were both absolutely certain I could, and they both encouraged me to go for it. They said the time I have until that marathon (15 months) will give me plenty of time to train properly.

They also said if I could do this, then I could definitely do a marathon.

First, however, I still have one other little matter to attend to:

The Cape Elizabeth Land Trust Challenge Triathlon. That's next Sunday.

One goal realized (half marathon); one more to go (triathlon); one new one to train for (full marathon).

I'm gonna be one busy lady.

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

On Becoming an Athlete

2007-09-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

"Act like the person you want to be." --M.J. Ryan

Never in my life have I considered myself an athletic person. Sure, I would ride bikes, swim, skate and skateboard, and even scuba dive--but I never considered myself an athlete. To me, athletes are those people who have something like 0.2% body fat, can run a marathon in fifteen minutes, swim the English Channel on a lazy Saturday, and score perfect 10s in the Olympics.

Nope. Definitely not an athlete here.

But as the CELT Challenge Triathlon looms large in my future--just 8 days away now--I am faced with the very real notion that, when it is over, I will be considered a triathlete.

Me? Not even an athlete, but a triathlete?? That's like lumping me in with those 0.2% bodyfat Olympians that I previously mentioned!

But yet it's coming. And after the past week and months of training, I know that I'm ready.

The past couple days have been tough, though. Baby Kara has been waking up every hour or so starting just after midnight, and spending at least an hour awake between 3-4 in the morning. She cries for her "woobie" (pacifier), she gets up onto her knees, she crawls around, she stands. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she just babbles, but always, she's awake and naturally that wakes us up, too.

It has made it tough for me to be motivated to go out and move. Just last Tuesday, after a particularly trying morning when she was awake from 3 am to 6 am, I finally gave up at 6 (after four hours of sleep) and let Kent take care of her while I went to the club. I did strength training only and then came home because Kent needed to go to work.

I decided that, since I was already dressed for exercise, I would go out and do some running. When I got home, however, Kara had fallen asleep. Figures! She was out until almost 9 am.

Finally, though, I strapped her into her jogging stroller--this time with the fleece liner in, as it was fairly cool out--and took off on my run.

I decided to run to Maddy's school and back; that's 5.2 miles in all. My best distance was 4 miles at ths point, so I thought 5.2 miles was a good test.

Little did I know that, despite the lack of sleep, I certainly had my athlete hat on that day. I made the 5.2 miles and still felt fresh! I wasn't moving super fast--it was about a 12.5 minute mile pace--but I felt like I could run forever. So I passed the house on my return trip and kept going the opposite direction.

Finally, after a while, I decided the baby had been out long enough. We'd been gone for an hour and 25 minutes, and I had run the entire time. I never stopped or walked. And later, when I retraced the route in my car, I found that I had run 6.8 miles.

6.8 miles?? That's the kind of distance that marathoners do! I was completely flabbergasted.

And then I realized that, what I had done (despite being exhausted) was to put into place one of my favorite quotes, from M.J. Ryan, which is at the top of this blog:

"Act like the person you want to be."

I was lying in bed, feeling tired and miserable, and though to myself, what would I do if I were an athlete, or someone who was seriously training for a big triathlon?

I'd shake the tiredness off and just go do it. So I did.

And what a result! 6.8 miles.

Doing that run, for the first time, made me feel like an athlete. I felt like a runner, not a jogger. I realized that I had the stamina to do the kind of run that "real" runners do.

And it got me excited. If I could run almost 7 miles, then what else could I do?

That morning, I decided on my big goal for 2008:

I am going to run the Honolulu Marathon in December.

Later that momentous 6.8 mile day, I told Kent my plan. He immediately started talking about logistics (would we all go or just me, where would we stay, etc.), which pleased me to no end. He didn't say no, he didn't pooh-pooh the idea, he didn't tell me I couldn't do it. He simply started to plan ahead to 15 months from now when I line up with God knows how many other people for a 26.2 mile run around Oahu.

Maybe I'm nuts. That's a big goal, and 15 months from now I might even be living in Europe (if Kent or I get a job teaching overseas, as we are thinking of doing). But I have my goal now for the winter. Rather than maintaining my fitness, I'm going to learn how to run long-distance. I am going to become a marathoner.

I can do this.

After all, in 8 days, I'll already be a triathlete!

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Laughter: The Great Tranquilizer

2007-09-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. --Arnold Glasow
_______________________________________________________________
This past Sunday, I was having a bad day.

I have been a stay-at-home Mommy for over a year now, but for the first year we were living off of money that we had put away in advance. However, over the summer, we finally finished off those funds, and it was time to find a job, once I decided not to return to teaching. Being a Mommy to my baby girl is not something I'll ever be able to do again, so my husband encouraged me to leap at the chance while I could. Actually, what he said was, "Leap, and the net will appear," which is one of his favorite sayings.

Anyway, it took me a while, but I finally landed a job in one of my favorite book stores. I am currently undergoing training, but that didn't start until after the first of September--which means the end of the month is going to leave me a little short for my mortgage. That has been stressing me out, needless to say.

Do you want to know any of this? Probably not. But we've all been there--short on funds and not sure exactly what we're going to do next. Even if relief is just ahead, life often throws just one last hurdle in your path, and that hurdle may seem insurmountable.

So this is the mood I was in: tired (because the baby keeps waking up in the middle of the night), irritable (because I was stressed), annoyed (because I wanted to run but I didn't), and frustrated (because I hadn't been exercising daily as I planned, and I was losing motivation). Toss in a tiny pinch of despair over finances, and you pretty much have me last Sunday.

Kent told me to go ahead and go for my run, but I just couldn't get my act together. I didn't want to run--I was afraid that if I started, I'd find I couldn't run for some reason, and the next thing I'd know, I'd have lost my belief in myself.

So I waffled.

Finally, I decided that I would ride my bike instead. That seemed like a good compromise--I would get out, do some exercising, but I KNOW I can ride my bike because I've been doing it for so long. I've been a runner for such a short time, I am still not used to being able to run four miles.

So I put on my helmet and gloves, made sure my iPod Shuffle was on securely but not too loud (so I could hear traffic), loaded my water bottle with a Gatorade/water mix, and tossed into the bike pack my wallet, cell phone, nutrition bar, and the keys to my mother-in-law's condo in case I needed to go inside, as I was riding in that direction. Sunglasses on, I headed out.

The first few miles went by fairly painlessly...in fact, I decided to make it an even longer ride, and planned to ride 25 miles instead of just 15 or 20.

Pretty soon, I passed my mother-in-law's condo--mile 7.2--and headed toward Mother's Beach, in Kennebunk. I was doing well, and the music was lifting me out of my bad mood, as was the pretty day and the cool weather.

Soon enough I was tooling along at Mother's Beach, looking at the sand and surf and enjoying my ride. By this time I was motivated enough that I had started moving a little faster, at close to a 15 mph pace. All of a sudden, a trolley car passed me. These are the tourist trolleys that cruise through Kennebunk and Kennebunkport, Maine during the summertime.

Unfortunately, the trolley got caught in traffic, and suddenly I found myself riding next to the trolley while a poor tourist was trying to take a picture of the beach! I had to hang back and cruise along behind the trolley. Suddenly, it hit me how silly this was--here I was, on a bike, going at the same rate of speed as a tourist vehicle, trying valiantly to stay out of the pictures a tourist was trying to take!

I don't know WHY it was so funny, but it was, and I found myself grinning at the situation.

Later on, I was riding away from the beach when another silly thing happened:

I got attacked by a mutant killer butterfly.

The monarch butterflies are out in force, and as I was riding, one suddenly flew straight at me! I didn't have time to react, and it ended up smacking me in the chest and fluttering around there for a moment! I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I kind of sat upright on my bike and moved my head back, and whoosh! It was free.

I felt AWFUL! I know you aren't supposed to touch the butterflies because the little "feathers" of color come off on your hands, and here this poor butterfly was, flapping all over my shirt! Once it had finally gotten free, I looked back, certain I'd see it fall to the ground--but no! It was happily fluttering off toward the bushes, apparently uninjured and unconcerned.

The silliness of being attacked by a killer Monarch suddenly struck me, and I started to laugh out loud.

At that moment, the irritation, the stress, the frustration and the annoyance completely lifted, and all I felt was light and happy. I stopped thinking of the bike ride as being a job I had to do (for my triathlon training), and instead felt more like I was enjoying my hobby.

That feeling allowed me to finish the last 9 miles of my bike ride, and I came in at 25.5 miles in 1 hour and 45 minutes exactly.

The best part is that I was so relaxed that I decided to go for a "brick" workout. A "brick" is when you string two or more types of triathlon exercise together--for example, a swim and a run, a bike and a run, or even all three--swim, bike, then run. I decided to do the bike/run combination, so as soon as I got home, I jumped off my bike, guzzled what was left in my water bottle, and took off to run just to the park and back--a half mile in all.

The funny thing is that the "jelly legs" phenomenon, which usually strikes when you get off a bike and start to run, went away really quickly this time. Usually it takes me at least a quarter mile to start to feel "normal", but this time, it wasn't even a tenth of a mile and I was running comfortably. In fact, I felt like I could go forever.

So I did.

Well, I didn't exactly go forever, but I did run four miles, without stopping.

And to think that, earlier in the morning, I was convinced that there was no way I could run at all, let alone 4 miles, which is the farthest I can currently run without stopping. I felt so good, I could have kept running past the four miles, but I figured that a 25.5 mile bike ride followed by a four mile run was good enough for the day.

The best part is that by doing this, I now KNOW that I can do the triathlon. The swim is the easiest part for me--I've been swimming since I was little--and the bike is the next easiest. The run was the only thing that was scaring me. I was CONVINCED that I would never be able to jump off my bike and run a 5K, because I tried it once and could barely run a half mile.

So what happened this day? Training, I'm sure, is the biggest part of it. But I know that the sudden outburst of laughter definitely played a part. That was when I relaxed and let go of the remnants of my mood, and just began to enjoy myself. And when I did that, I had the best workout of my life, and proved to myself that I have all the skills to do this triathlon.

After all, I biked 25 miles and ran four; the triathlon requires biking 14 miles and running 3.2.

I am ready.

And when I'm in the middle of my triathlon, I'm hoping that maybe--just maybe--a certain funny little Monarch butterfly will come along again, and remind me to laugh.

____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Getting Your Head in the Game

2007-09-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

"Half this game is 90% mental." -- Yogi Berra
__________________________________________________________________

I have learned a lot of lessons over the last eight months in this whole process of recovering from obesity. The most important thing I have learned, though, is that it really is up to you whether you're going to win or lose at the weight-loss game.

That wasn't something I appreciated at first, mind you. In fact, it drove me nuts. Throughout my 17 years of being unsuccessful at losing weight, I thought it was always all about willpower.

I am one stubborn person. And I thought I had all the willpower in the world. But in looking back, I can see now that I had a lot of want-power, but not a lot of willpower.

I wanted my life to change, but I did not have the willpower to change my lifestyle.

Oh, sure, don't get me wrong. I could restrict calories with the best of them. I could deny myself a cookie or those blasted Ho-Hos for a while. But eventually, not being allowed to have them made them that forbidden fruit. And we all know what that did to Eve.

But what I didn't get was that losing weight wasn't about a quick-fix, this-is-what-you-do-to-lose-weight-and-then-you-can-go-back-to-normal type of solution. I still thought losing weight was something different you did for a while. I didn't realize that it wasn't about DOING different, it was about BEING different.

I could deny and deny myself the junk food, but it wasn't until I ACCEPTED certain things that my weight started to drop consistently.

First of all, I had to accept that cookies are always going to exist, and that frankly, I like cookies, and I'm never going to give them up entirely. Ditto with chocolate.

I had to accept that I HATE egg white omelettes with a passion. What is it with egg white omelettes anyway? I swear, anyone on a diet always eats egg white omelettes. I can't stand the things--they stick like mad, for one thing, and frankly, all the good flavor is in the yolks anyway!

I had to accept that this wasn't going to happen overnight. Much as we all want that "fat-blasting" workout, the "promise" of "hot legs" in days, or losing 18 pounds in 13 days, it's not going to happen. Period.

I had to accept that, in order to effectively lose weight, I was going to have to start exercising. And not calisthenics--I needed to use up some serious calories, and that meant moving major muscle groups. If I couldn't run, I needed to at least start walking, and do it consistently.

I had to accept that there would be some things I'd never be able to change. For example, I was fat for so long, my arms are just not returning to their pre-obesity size. Sure, they're smaller, but I now have what I call "bat wings" when I stick my arms out to the side. You know what I mean--the saggy skin under the arms that dangles down and flaps in the breeze. No amount of bicep and tricep work is gonna change that, unfortunately, no matter how strong those muscles become. Kent told me the other day that I could always have some plastic surgery if my arms really bother me, but I don't have the money and, much as it sounds intriguing, I am not doing anything until I've maintained a stable weight for a couple years anyhow.

And finally, I had to accept that this was a lifestyle change. I will never go back to sitting around, eating a whole bag of Hershey's kisses or a box of Ho-Hos while drinking hot chocolate and watching episode after episode of Law and Order.

Not eating a whole bag of kisses doesn't sound so difficult, perhaps, but there are some days that all I really, really want to do is just that: eat a bag of Hershey Kisses--or a few Ho-Hos--and drink hot cocoa while watching Law and Order! It's just that, so far, I haven't gotten to the point where I NEED to do that. I have already decided that if I get to that point sometime, I'll do it. I'm human, not perfect, and if I need to eat that bag of Hershey's Kisses, I'm not going to deny myself, because pretty soon I'd be headfirst in bag after bag again, and I am NOT going back to 259 pounds.

The most recent experience I had that illustrated how this is really a mental issue is when I went running on what my 7-year-old calls the "Circle of Death" in Portland last Sunday. It's a 3.5 mile loop trail, and I have already learned that I can run it nonstop. My normal pace is a 12 minute mile, but this past Sunday I wanted to see if I could step it up a bit. So off I went.

At first, I felt great. My legs felt very springy, like I had tons of muscle energy to spare. But, as happens every time, my chest got tight and my lungs were uncomfortable. But I kept going.

Did I mention that the day before, I had biked 19 miles at a 15 MPH pace and also ran 1.6 miles after that?

Needless to say, I didn't have a ton of energy for this. But I was determined.

I had read over and over that running is a mental game. If you think you can't, you won't. In fact, in one magazine article I read, a man was talking about how he couldn't break a certain pace until he left his usual track and ran a different one--one that didn't have the certain pace programmed into his head. He said that the change of scenery is what did it and he was finally able to break the 9-minute-mile pace he had been stuck in for months.

So I continued on, despite getting tired. I passed the 1 3/4 mile marker, and checked my watch. 20 minutes. I had bested my previous best time by one minute so far--the best I've ever done there is 42 minutes for the whole loop. If I continued this pace, I'd make it in 40.

But then I thought, I can do better than THAT. So I stepped it up even more.

Meanwhile, Maddy had a slow-speed crash on her bike, and Kent waved me forward alone. He kept Kara with him while he helped Maddy get up and put her bike to rights.

Unfortunately, this was right after I stepped up my pace, and he never did catch me after that. Plus, he had my water bottle.

So now I was into almost 30 minutes, no water, and running faster than I had ever gone before.

I wanted to stop. I had EVERY reason to stop.

First, my daughter had crashed. And though her Daddy waved me on, I wanted to see if she was OK, even though I knew she was.

Second, I was SO thirsty. I needed water. My tongue was dry and I was hot, since in deference to the cold day, I'd stupidly worn long Adidas sweatpants and a long-sleeved "wicking" running shirt.

Third, my lungs had about had it. My legs, initially quite springy, were starting to lose their energy too, and I suddenly remembered the 19 mile bike ride and 1.6 mile run the day before.

Fourth, I knew that I had run 4 miles nonstop just a couple days previously, so I knew I could easily do walking with short high-speed sprints instead and I'd get the same or better benefit.

After thinking all these things over, I actually started to pull up to walk, twice. But right before I slowed, I kicked it back into gear. I was NOT going to walk when I knew I could do this. It was my goal, after all, and I wanted to see if I could do it.

Running is a mental game, after all.

I got to the point where I was desperately counting mile-markers. I was down to six one-quarter-mile markers left to go, then five, then four...and somewhere along the line, number three got knocked down.

That was the longest half-mile of my life. I kept looking for the stupid signpost and it wasn't there! But I pushed on.

Finally I saw that I had a half mile left. I thought, if I run a 12-minute mile, that's only six minutes. I can do this for six more minutes.

When I hit one quarter mile left, I thought, three minutes. I can run for three minutes.

Then I had another thought:

If I run faster, I'll get done sooner.

OK. So that thought was almost as ridiculous as "Half this game is 90% mental." But you know, it did the trick. I took off as fast as my now-fatigued legs and lungs could take me. And when I got to the tree where we'd started, I put on my last burst of speed.

I was SPENT. But when I looked at my watch, I saw that the entire loop had taken me 37 minutes.

I had bested my previous fastest pace by FIVE minutes. I'm certainly not an expert, but shaving 5 minutes off my time seems pretty good to me!

Best of all, I managed what they call in the running/triathlon world a "Negative Split." Meaning that the second half of my run was faster (17 minutes) than my first half (20 minutes). That's pretty good in running!

So could I have walked? Certainly. It wouldn't have cost me anything. I could have freshened up, gotten some water, made sure Maddy was OK (she was), and then done sprints instead. But I wanted to see how fast I could go, and so I forged ahead. I took my 12-minute/mile pace down to a 10.5-minute mile pace. That's the fastest I think I have ever run in my life.

I wonder how fast I could go in a mile if I really kicked it? I'll have to try it and find out.

You might be wondering how my running story relates to losing weight. Strange though it may seem, it's really the perfect metaphor. You see, in the past, I would start out all motivated to lose weight, and think I was going to do it "even better" than I had before. I'd have a fast start, but when the going got tough, I'd start doubting myself.

Then something would happen to tax me mentally, physically, or emotionally, and rather than feeling the pain and redoubling my efforts, I'd pull up and quit.

The difference is that this time, I learned that it's really all about one day at a time--sounds like alcoholics anonymous, but obesity is its own form of addiction--and it's all about the mental toughness to keep going in the face of adversity.

I wasn't able to do that in the past. This time, I accepted the challenges and the pain, and if I "blew" it by eating too much one day, then that was one day out of my life. It wasn't my WHOLE life, if I didn't want it to be.

So you see, Yogi had it right. Half this game IS 90% mental. And until you get your head in the game, you cannot possibly win it.

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part Two)

2007-09-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

THE BIG LIE (Continued):

There is another excellent book out there called Like Mother, Like Daughter: How Women Are Influence by Their Mother's Relationship with Food--and How to Break the Pattern by Debra Waterhouse. It is a MUST-read for any woman with children, especially girls, but I think these days it rings true for any children. It explains a lot about how our Diet Diva-ness programs our children into thinking they need to diet, too, whenever they gain a little weight. It also says on page 118:

"Dieting, not a lack of willpower or self-control, is the cause of overindulgence. In fact, just being reminded about dieting can cause us to overeat. A study at Williams College had three groups of weight-conscious women wath the movie Terms of Endearment. One group saw no commercials, one group saw food commercials, and the last group saw diet commercials. Would you like to guess which group ate the most during the movie? The diet commercial group not only ate more, they ate twice as much as the other two groups." (Waterhouse, Debra. Like Mother, Like Daughter. New York: Hyperion, 1997).

THIS is why I never use the word DIET. I have a very impressionable 7 year old. I realize that what I say and do will affect her for her entire life. I don't get on the scale and frown; I just get on and say, "Okay!" Then I invite her to get on, and admire how much she's grown. She has no fear of the scale, and no fear of food.

Yes, I am picky about sugar, but not because she (or I) will "get fat." I am picky about sugar because it's not very nutritious, and she can tell you that if you eat too much sugar, you won't eat the good foods that help you grow big and strong. I keep telling her if she eats well 90% of the time, then she can have "junk" and sugar the other ten percent, and it just won't hurt her body.

I also trained her to LOVE going to the dentist. Same theory. It's all in how you sell it to the kids.

So far even my 8 month old is happy to eat salmon, broccoli, greek yogurt and fresh fruits, among other things! Don't tell me kids and babies won't eat a variety of good-for-you foods. My oldest famously turned down chocolate while trick-or-treating one Halloween, asking for some broccoli instead.

I'm sure the poor woman who heard that request still tells the story to this day!

So to go back to the magazine issue: if the magazines are wrong at best, or misleading at worst, and dieting really doesn't work, then what the heck did I do to lose over a hundred pounds?

Lifestyle change.

It isn't exciting. It isn't sexy. It isn't fast. It isn't a magic bullet or a pill or even a promise from a magazine. Think about it--even the newest weight-loss pills can't work in isolation! You still have to change your eating patterns and move for them to "maximize" your weight loss.

But making a lifestyle change was realistic, and it's what every reputable doctor in the world has recommended for ages. And for me, it works beautifully. I mean, if I wanted to keep getting what I was getting (fatter and fatter), I should have kept doing what I was doing (unabated eating and not moving).

If I wanted something different in my life, I needed to BE different. Lifestyle change means eating and moving in a different way than I did for all those years. I had to CHANGE my LIFE STYLE!

It's as simple as that...and as difficult. Nobody likes change. It's difficult, and it's not comfortable. And we do LOVE being comfortable. I did too, but I had to decide that being fit and healthy was more important than eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

Yes, we all want to eat whatever we want. Sure, it'd be a lot more fun to eat cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting every morning than my usual bread, greek yogurt, and banana. But it would also make me jittery in short order (from all the sugar) and, unless I reduced the rest of my daily intake of calories, the 600+ calories in one average Cinnabon would rapidly lead to even more weight gain.

So I eat differently. I eat good food, or what a sports nutritionist I spoke to recently called "High-Test Fuel." She said the body is like a fine machine; junk in, junk out. You know what happens when you get water in your gas tank or, worse, someone puts sugar in the gas tank. The car won't go.

This nutritionist said that it's the same with your body. High-quality foods are defined as low-fat protein, low-fat dairy, whole-grains, healthy fats, and quality carbs (including fruits and veggies). All these are, of course, the same types of foods Drs. Oz and Roizen recommend you eat. They explain that if these foods are eaten in moderation (there is the key word!), they can help you lose weight, improve your cholesterol, and lower your blood pressure. Junk foods will junk you up; you cannot live for long on sodas, chips, and sugar before the magnificent machine starts shredding itself.

So to lose weight, what do you have to do?

This may sound simplistic, but it worked for me. If it didn't, I'd still weigh 259 pounds:

As I have read over and over in book after book, the concept I used to lose over 100 pounds so far is it takes 3500 calories to make a pound, whether it's a gain or a loss. Losing weight is about eating primarily healthy foods in the proper amounts, and the accepted wisdom in the medical community is that if you do nothing else, you at least need to create a 500 calorie deficit each day all week through calorie-watching and/or exercise in order to lose a pound at the end of that week.

But, as I've also read over and over, don't drop below 1200 calories because that's the happy trigger to slow your metabolism.

How many calories should you eat? This is the most simple method I've found yet to figure it out, as reported in both Prevention Magazine (September 2007) and by the Sports Nutritionist I spoke to last week:

Take your goal weight, and multiply it by 13 if you don't exercise. If you exercise 4 times per week for 30 minutes or more per session, multiply your goal weight by 15. If you're like me and actively training for a triathlon, exercising six times per week at 1-2 hours or more per session, you can probably get away with multiplying by 18.

Apparently, if you do nothing else, you'll eventually get to the proper weight. For me, just to be sure, I do the multiplying, then subtract that 500 calories, which for me puts me into the 1700-2100 calories range. I actually shortened it a bit more and personally aim for 1800-2000. Doing that (but some days eating as much as 2600 calories or as few as 1700), plus exercising, helped me lose that hundred pounds so far.

Here's another benefit: if you add exercise, you don't just burn more calories. Oh, no, nature does you one better than that! All that exercising will also create more muscle mass, and muscle burns more calories than fat. Think about it. Fat doesn't actually do much but just sit there! It cannot actively burn calories for you--it's stored energy! That's why you don't want to lose water or muscle mass; you want to lose fat, and gain muscle.

Water will always come back. Dehydration is a bad thing, anyway.

So talk to your doctor, read Drs. Oz and Roizen, and read Debra Waterhouse. Then try to create your caloric deficit through proper "diet" (as in your "particular selection of foods") and through moving your body.

No, you won't lose 18 pounds in 13 days; you probably won't even lose ten pounds in four weeks. In fact, you'll probably only lose a pound a week.

But the pound you lose will be ALL fat, and that's the best kind of weight to lose.
______________________________________________________________

"The only one who can tell you 'you can't' is you. And you don't have to listen." - Nike

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Big Lie: How Magazines Perpetuate the Diet Myth...and What You CAN Do to Lose That Weight For Good (Part One)

2007-09-09T19:26:00.000-07:00

I was at the grocery store the other day, and while waiting to buy my cereal, fruit and milk, I started looking over the various magazine offerings on the racks nearby. This is what I read:

"Get a Beach Body in 10 Days!"

"Kathly lost 18 pounds in 13 days!"

"Drop one pound every day!"

"Get a Flat Belly--Be Fit and Firm in 9 days!"

"Lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks!"

"Eat These Fat-Melting Meals!"

"Counting Calories Doesn't Work--THIS Does!"

"Recipes That Blast Away Fat!"

...and, of course, my absolute favorite:

"Hot Legs in 6 Days! ...We Promise!"

I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. It suddenly hit me that I was reading what I now call The Big Lie that magazines perpetuate: that weight loss can be super fast, you can actually look like the highly-airbrushed cover models in mere days, and that there is some "magic bullet" that will transform your body and "blast away" the fat, leaving you one "hot" babe (or dude).

Trust me. If any of these things were even remotely true, they wouldn't be on a magazine cover. It would be the lead story on the Evening News!

Now that doesn't mean that I doubt that Kathy lost 18 pounds in 13 days. I've never met Kathy. I have nothing against her. And as for the weight loss, I'm absolutely sure she did actually lose that much. But what it doesn't say is that Kathy most likely lost a lot in water weight, or (God forbid) maybe even some muscle mass.

The magazine does NOT tell you she lost 18 pounds of FAT. You just cannot lose fat that quickly, unless you have a tummy tuck or liposuction or do some other drastic reduction method.

But we see it and we WANT it to be true. I would love to know I could lose 18 pounds in under two weeks, instead of sweating it out over 9 weeks or longer. That sort of weight loss is a dream, and we'll happily pay billions every year to find the magic bullet that will instantly solve our weight problems.

I wish someone would sue the magazines for false advertising and making promises they can't keep. Think about it: at 259 pounds, even if I religiously did the one magazine's program, there is absolutely NO way on Earth I could have HOT LEGS in 6 days...unless they really mean that my legs would be overheated from all the exercise, which is likely what they would claim if I sued them!

What makes it worse is that, here in America, we live and die by that blasted scale. If the number is up, it's bad (unless you're like my ex-brother-in-law and struggle to gain even one pound...the jerk). If the number is down, it's good. And it's all-fair, no-foul when it comes to ways to getting that number to move downward. Some of us don't even care if it is water weight, so long as that number keeps getting lower.

So we try it all. Cabbage diets. Leek soup diets. All carbs, no carbs, Atkins, Mediterranean, Sonoma...they all work, briefly. And the faster the weight loss, the more likely it was simply water weight. Read the books by the doctors and obesity experts: you just cannot lose fat that fast. The best you can hope for is one to two pounds of fat per week for most people. Sometimes it's not even that.

On top of that, these plans work in the short term because if you severely restrict calories, as many do, you lose weight, but most people in America can't keep eating a special diet forever. Reality inevitably returns, and with it the old habits. If you're truly unlucky, you restricted calories so much (under 1200 or worse) that your body went into starvation mode, driving your metabolism into the tank. Then when you return to eating in your old amounts, your body won't use it like it once did, and you gain weight even faster.

I learned all this the hard way. I didn't wake up 259 pounds one morning. I dieted my way to that weight.

As a kid, I was healthy. I weighed a normal amount. I also discovered a love of candy that I still have to this day, and I discovered as I got older that I had more of a curvy body shape than the boyish shape that was in fashion at the time.

If only Jennifer Lopez was popular when I was a teenager, I would have been set for life!

Since I had a curvy body with hips and a shapely (read: not flat) back end, I was called "bubble butt" and worse by my so-called friends. So I started dieting. I'd lose weight, look great, then go back to normal eating. I'd gain back what I lost plus some, and diet some more. The same thing would happen--lose weight, look good, go back to normal, and bam--back up, plus more besides. I have been doing that since I was at least 16 years old, if not younger; that translates into more than 25 years of dieting.

If I had just known then that DIETS DON'T WORK, I would have saved myself the hassle.

Actually, from what I understand, "diet" wasn't originally a verb; it was a noun. As in this definition from dictionary.com:

"Diet (n): a particular selection of food, esp. as designed or prescribed to improve a person's physical condition or to prevent or treat a disease: a diet low in sugar."

A person trying to lose weight used to be told by their doctor to follow this particular diet, meaning selection of food. People then took that and turned it into, "My doctor has me on a diet," followed soon by "I am dieting."

Voila. Diet as a verb, and a whole institution is born.

If the various diet companies (who shall here remain nameless) really wanted us to lose the weight for good, they would have built into their Mission Statements the concept of becoming redundant. I firmly believe they like to see people succeed, but when all is said and done, it is all about the money. Always.

In their book, YOU: On a Diet: The Owner's Manual for Waist Management, Drs. Mehmet Oz and Michael Roizen say this on page 10. (No, it is NOT a "Diet", despite the title.)

"Unless you're the rare kind of person who responds to dietary drill sergeants, you won't find long-term solutions using traditional weight-loss methods; willpower, deprivation, fads, phases or dead-bolting the lid of the butter pecan. Instead, using this plan, you will train yourself to never think about what you're eating, never think about getting on a diet or worry about coming off one, and never have to figure out formulas, zones, or for the love of (fill in the diety of your choice), place a chicken breast on a food scale." (Roizen, Michael and Oz, Mehmet. YOU: On a Diet. New York: Free Press, 2006).

I read their book cover-to-cover before I started trying to lose weight (notice I didn't say diet--I have never called this a diet, and I never will...more on that later). I am not quite where they say I should be yet. I never worry about what I'm eating, I never stick chicken breast on a scale, I NEVER think about going on a diet or coming off one, but I do think about how much I'm eating. This is because, after over 25 years' worth of dieting, I am not intuitive enough yet to be able to keep track of what I've eaten throughout the day without going overboard. I'm also not that great at always remembering to eat enough fruits and veggies unless I write it down and check back later.

I realize that, and it's OK. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, thinking "shoulda, woulda, coulda". I'm allowing myself to be gentle with ME; I've only changed my life in the past 8 months. It takes longer than that to grow a baby in the womb; I can allow myself at least that long to grow a whole new me.

Click here to go to Part II

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Triathletes Are AMAZING!

2007-08-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I am no longer a Triathlon Virgin (LOL!). I spent two hours on Sunday morning, August 26, writing all over these amazing male triathletes' bodies.

...Yeah, I thought that might get your attention!

In reality, I was writing on women's bodies too, and what I was doing was serving as a volunteer "Body Marker" at the West Kennebunk FireMan Triathlon that was held at Mother's Beach in West Kennebunk, Maine.

For those who don't know (as I didn't), a "Body Marker" is a person who helps out at a triathlon by using permanent markers to write the Bib (or, entry) Number of an athlete directly onto the athlete's skin. This is done to be able to see the athlete's number in the water and when on the course.

This is a picture of us at the WestK FireMan--
I'm in the brown shorts and blue shirt
at the bottom center of the picture!

The Bib Numbers are marked vertically on the left side--at least in West Kennebunk they were. The numbers go on the left arm, the left "quad" (quadricep, or thigh muscle), and for this triathlon, on the left hand as well.

Finally, the athlete also had to have their age marked on the back of their left calf. A "T" went on the back of the right calf if they were part of a team.

The oldest ages I marked that day?

73!!

And they were both amazing men--I would have never guessed either was in his 70s.

Asking people for their age was a little awkward at first. Most of the athletes were aware of the reason--to help ensure they're in the right age group wave for the swim, and to allow other competitors to know what age group they belong to--but the request caught a few by surprise.

One woman was almost stuttering, she was so shocked she'd have to give her age. She finally managed, "Do I have to give you my REAL age?"

I laughed, and explained that the race officials would believe anything I wrote. She happily then told me she was 32.

I marked it! After all, who am I to ask for identification?? Besides, my guess is it was her first triathlon, and her being in the right wave for entry into the water wasn't going to be a big issue.

Her friend, however, was indignant with her. "You mean you made yourself younger than ME?" she squeaked!!

The best part wasn't the act of writing on these absolutely amazing bodies--no, the best part was the friendliness of the competitors.

Remember, my own first Sprint Triathlon is just a few weeks away. I was really nervous about whether I would fit in, how I would feel going to the race, whether I would be welcomed or shunned.

If the Cape Elizabeth Triathlon is anything like the West K, then I have NOTHING to worry about. The athletes, whether they were serious competitors or first-timers, were all fabulously friendly and totally polite. Nobody came across as a prima-donna, and nobody came across as better-than-thou. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I never met such a neat group of people--totally friendly and down-to-earth.

Getting there that morning was even fun. I decided that, to avoid the parking issues, I would simply ride my bike, and call it part of my training!

Clever, eh? The only problem was that the time I needed to be there, 6 a.m., was early enough that I was setting out from home in the dark. I was a bit nervous about this, because although there wouldn't be many cars on the road at 5:30, I knew there would be some, and that I might hit a little traffic from people coming to the triathlon.

I didn't have anything really reflective to wear, so I needed to find some way to distinguish myself in the dark.

Enter the dog light.

This past summer, when out for an evening walk, my niece, Samantha, handed me a flashing red light that you are supposed to put on your dog's collar for nighttime walks. She had me put it on the stroller, to help make us more visible.

When I went to give it back, she told me to keep it. They didn't really need it for their dog, Nurumi.

I thought about the light, and how it was on the stroller even at that moment. So I got the light and hooked it on the underside of my bike seat.

Perfect! I had my own red strobe light, sure to be visible that early in the morning!

The ride itself was wonderful. Although it ended up being wicked muggy that day, the morning ride was fabulous. I had the roads almost totally to myself, so I practiced some high-speed turns and played around with my gears to try to find the optimal gearing for my triathlon--I don't want to push too hard, but I don't want to pedal so fast I get out of breath either.

Later on that morning, after I was done marking bodies, I spent some time picking the brain of a new friend, Rebecca--she knows Kent from school--as she was there marking bodies too. She's also a triathlete, but is on her 4th month of rehab after suffering a stress fracture on her ankle. She has some books she said she'd loan me, but that day she helped me understand how they would do the race, where they'd go, and where I should go to watch the transitions.

For non-triathletes, a "transition" (or T1 and T2) is where you transition from the swim to the bike ride (T1), and from the bike ride to the run (T2). I wanted to watch these transitions because I wanted to know how they did it--how did the athletes set up their stuff, what did they take off/put on, how fast did they go and, most importantly for me, how did the women handle the need for a swimsuit AND a jogbra?

The answer: they wore a special suit that acted as their jogbra, or they wore their bra right under their swimsuit.

To avoid buying extra stuff, especially since it's my first and I don't know if I'll be insane enough to do another, I think I will opt for wearing my jogbra under my swimsuit.

That means I'll need to practice that way too.

Watching those transitions really set me at ease. The transitions really were all over the map, some super fast, some slow, and even one high-speed triathlete took the time to TIE his shoes, which means nobody is going to laugh at me when I take forever.

I even saw a few mistakes, like one athlete who forgot his bib number back at his transition point and hand to run back to get it.

That was so reassuring. If the people who do this a lot make mistakes, then a rookie like me shouldn't worry so much about it.

The best part is the very last guy out of the water got the biggest cheer of everyone!

I watched until the first few people finished the triathlon--the fastest time I saw was one hour and seven minutes--and then I headed for the remainder of my bike ride.

That's when I made my first-ever rookie Triathlon Training Mistake.

Never ride a bike with drawstrings anywhere on your body.

Halfway through a really good ride, I was powering up a hill and feeling really strong when my bike started to shudder and I felt a yank at my waist.

Turns out I caught the drawstring from my jacket (which I'd tied around my waist) stuck in my back gear sproket.

Oops.

I tried to get it undone, but just made it worse. I had to call for rescue via my cellphone, which I'd remembered to tuck into my pocket.

Ten minutes later, Kent, Maddy and baby Kara arrived to bring me to Cape Able Bikes. Thankfully we keep the bike rack on the back of the car all summer, so rescuing me was a breeze.

The guy at Cape Able was a sweetie. He fixed the problem for free--he said it only took him a minute to get that sprocket off and pull the string out, even though it was tightly wound around--and he tactfully didn't even ask me how I managed to do it in the first place!

I left Kent and the girls to get home in the car, while I made my way home the rest of the way on my bike.

It was a good ride, but perhaps it was good that I got stopped when I did. The Triathlon Gods were definitely watching.

It turns out that I was riding in too high a gear, so I was putting too much pressure on my legs.

How do I know this?

My quads are KILLING ME!! My thigh muscles are so sore, I could barely walk down the stairs this morning!

I did get a new book last night at the bookstore: Your First Triathlon by Joe Friel. When I read the part about having my bike gear too high, I had to chuckle. If only I had read that before my bike ride!

The West K FireMan has me completely psyched and ready to race. The book has me relaxed that I am going to do it for the right reason--to finish, not to try to win it (not that I could anyway), but to complete it upright and with a smile on my face.

I start swimming tomorrow. I was able to get a one-month swim membership to a place where I can use the pool. I am pretty confident about my technique, so I just want to get used to the distance. The rest of the training is going to be by the book (Joe Friel's book, that is).

Five weeks and counting!

Undertake something that is difficult; it will do you good. Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. - Ronald E. Osborn

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Malted Milk Balls and Other Downfalls

2007-08-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a rough week.

Lately, and especially this week, baby Kara has been having a hard time sleeping. She wants to eat constantly.

Somehow, I can relate to that.

Anyway, the problem is that it makes for a short night, sleep-wise. I have been chronically sleep-deprived for over a year, if you count the months I was pregnant as well as the past eight months of breastfeeding. This past week has been so bad, I have had a headache nearly every day.

The problem comes in that I decided this week I'd up my calorie intake to see what happens, as I'm still not sure where my caloric needs lie. I have been going for 2000-2200 calories.

With this policy over the past four days, I have gained over two pounds.

Obviously, that's not likely, because we're actually only talking an extra 200 calories every day, and I'm exercising nearly every day on top of it. I know that part of the added pounds come from the humidity and the salt intake I've had lately, both of which have made me retain water. I know I'm retaining water because I suddenly, after one evening, cannot take off my grandmother's ring!

The real issue is that tonight, after all the tiredness, I ran into my downfall of the day:

Harry & David dark chocolate malted milk balls.

Hard to believe a little malted milk ball, at 20 calories apiece, could mess me up so badly. But somehow, that's exactly what it just did.

The tiredness (which I've discussed in a previous blog) combined with the sight of those little chocolate orbs made me say something I rarely say when it comes to food:

"Oh, what the hell!"

I ate probably 500 calories' worth of those darned little things. When I ate the last one, I dumped the bag and said, "Good, that's done."

That was a nice little diversion in calories, but now I'm annoyed!

Why did I do it?

The problem is, into all lives a little downfall must come. Everyone has an "off" day. I actually had a pretty darned good day. Not counting the malted milk balls, I stayed within my caloric limits, plus I spent 40 minutes on an elliptical trainer running my fanny off, and also spent 45 minutes doing weight machines (with Isaiah's help in ensuring my proper form) combined with two sets each of two different types of situps, where I did both sets "to failure" (read: I did them till I literally couldn't do any more).

But then came the malted milk balls. And I faltered.

The issue is, what now? Do I give up and say, well I blew it, I might as well REALLY blow it? Or do I dust myself off, tell myself "Darn that was dumb," and go back at it starting tomorrow?

Let's consider the options.

If I REALLY blow it, I'm going to have to work harder to make up for it.

If I dust myself off and go back at it starting tomorrow, I have to work a LITTLE harder, but not that much. We're really only talking an extra 200 calories for the whole day!

Which would you choose?

...OK. OK. REALLY blowing it sounds interesting, but frankly, the malted milk balls also made me sick to my stomach, so REALLY blowing it would probably make me REALLY ill. I realize some people would do that on purpose, but I'm not one of them. Bulimia never appealed to me.

Prevention Magazine says this, as one of their 100 smartest diet tips ever:

38. "I am a work in progress."

Notice it does NOT say, "I am perfect."

Being a work in progress means that into every life, a few malted milk balls must fall. Falling off the diet wagon, for one night, doesn't mean the end. It means a tiny bit of a detour, but that in itself is not unexpected, and not unmanageable.

As stated by bodyandhealth.canada.com, "Don't be deterred by gaining an extra pound or two. It was common for [diet] participants to gain an extra pound or two along the way. But those who ensured those pounds didn't add up quickly were the best at keeping the weight off."

So I gained my pound or two this week. It's happened before. It will happen again.

But you can be sure I'm not going to buy those malted milk balls again. Once was enough. I didn't enjoy eating them enough to want to repeat the experience!

Hmm. Maybe I am learning how to be thin, after all.

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Having a Plan

2007-08-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to the Club, completely psyched. I was finally going to do the new workout that Isaiah gave me last week, when Kent was still at GenCon. It's a combination of some of my old strength exercises with some new ones--Lat Raises, Reverse Flys, Lower Back Extensions, and Leg Extensions.

First, though, before I could do the strength work, I needed to jump on the Elliptical Trainer and do some "running". My new goal: 40 minutes, exercising at 80% of my maximum heart rate which, for a 41-year-old woman, is 143 BPM (beats per minute).

My old goal was 30 minutes on the Elliptical, and I discovered over the summer that the 30 minutes had really ramped up my stamina. In San Francisco, I was able to walk very quickly from Fisherman's Wharf, past Pier 39, and all the way to the Embarcadero Center without being winded OR having my heart pound! It's benefited my heart in other ways too; my resting heart rate has dropped from 80 BPM or higher to just under 60 BPM.

My doctor would love to see this!

Anyway, while I was on the Elliptical, I saw two different women (one older, one younger) moving abound the club, doing some exercise. I watched the two of them for a while, and pretty soon I got really impressed...with one of them.

One of the women was about 80. She was dressed in a pretty blouse, slacks, street shoes, and carried her purse. She was using the strength machines.

The other woman was much younger, probably no more than 15-16, and she was wandering around fully kitted-out in exercise gear, even down to the iPod strapped to her arm. She was also using the strength machines.

I am a firm believer in dressing the part, so at first I just grinned at the sight of the older woman as she went up to a machine, adjusted it for her settings, set her purse down and went to work.

But then I noticed the young woman. She may have been dressed for the part, but her attitude and demeanor were drastically different from the older woman. The younger woman was LITERALLY wandering around.

Whereas the older lady clearly had a goal in mind (you could see it as she purposefully went from one machine to the next and made sure to adjust the settings properly), the younger woman was simply flitting from machine to machine. There was no clear goal apparent, as she literally wandered around the club, "trying" different machines.

I can't say she was exercising on each one, because she'd do four or five reps, get up, and wander off to another.

And her expression during the entire thing was a combination of "really pissed off" and "total boredom".

When I got off the Elliptical, I needed to use one of the machines, and the younger woman was on it. By this time, I'd watched her for five or ten minutes, and I realized that all I needed to do was wait a moment and she'd be off to another machine.

Bingo. It was less than one minute from her getting on the machine until she got back off.

Meanwhile, the older lady continued to plug along!

These two demonstrated what for me has become a central theme for my exercise:

I have to have a plan.

All along I have been saying, "Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

Tell me what to eat (well, how many calories anyway) and I'll do it. Tell me how long of which type of exercise, and I'll do that too. Tell me how to get my baby to sleep all night so I don't have to wake up repeatedly to feed her, and I'll be your friend for life.

OK, sorry, I digress.

For me, having a plan means I need to use someone else's expertise to help guide me. I don't know enough about fitness, weights, machines, cardio and whatnot to be able to put into place a self-created plan, so I needed someone who could do it for me. When I found out that my club offered the use of a trainer to assist you in creating a fitness plan, I was completely sold.

When I found out it was Isaiah, the same nice guy who helped me buy some dumbbells at a local sports store, then spent ten minutes giving me tips and pointers, I was even more psyched.

Having Isaiah helping me has been so critical to my improvement. I give him this kind of credit because he's my "planner" guy. That's critical because if planning out my workout was up to me, I wouldn't be so focused, and frankly I might not even be going as consistently as I do now. I know this because I've done it before. I have tried going to a club with a self-created plan, but unfortunately my plan was based on what machines I liked to do and how much I could lift--not on any specific goal of improvement.

Without a plan that would help me reach my specific goals, I would end up flitting from one thing to another, with no real idea of exactly what I wanted or how to get there. Eventually I'd stop going, because I had nothing to work toward, and thus no way to measure my progress.

A study just came out that says much the same thing. If I can find a link to it, I'll post it here. It basically says that people who have a goal and a plan work harder and more consistently, and reach their goals, than people who simply go "work out" without goals in mind.

So back to Isaiah. Having a trainer is a critical part of my success. Granted, I told Isaiah what my goals were and, granted, I also am the one who did the work; however, he, as the trainer, gets the credit for my improvement because had the knowledge of the exercises and machines available, and was able to match up a plan with my goals.

I'm lucky because his expertise comes with my membership at the club. But I've learned enough to know that eventually, if I am no longer at this club or if I no longer have access to Isaiah or another trainer, I'll hire my own.

It's that important.

So here I am. A new routine, and new goals: stronger back, arms and shoulders. More stamina for my upcoming half marathon and SprintTriathlon. Upper body strength to manage the long walks/runs without fading out on proper posture (which apparently kills your ability to run).

Going into a brand-new routine means, of course, working hard all over again to learn new exercises, and then working through the soreness the next one, two and even three days later.

It's feeling like a rank amateur, a rookie, and pushing with all your might to move a 30 pound weight a few inches.

It's feeling like there's never going to be a day when you can say, "OK. I've mastered this and my body's too used to it now. It's time for a new plan."

But it's all worth it, because I've seen what it does for me. The stamina, the strength, the flexibility, and the weight loss have all been tremendous.

You gotta have a plan.

That's why, if you asked me which of the women that I watched today was the most impressive to me, I would say it was the older lady with the street shoes, slacks, pretty blouse and purse.

She came not with the proper workout gear, but with the proper attitude.

More importantly, she obviously had a clear goal in mind.

And THAT makes all the difference.

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

How Much is Enough, Anyway?

2007-08-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

Warning! Today's blog is an obsessive rant into calorie-counting and the ambiguity of knowing how much to eat. It's a little overly-introspective, perhaps, but recovering from obesity causes these sorts of angst-ridden diatribes from time to time. My apologies in advance. I will do better next time. Meanwhile, I need to get this out. Thanks!
--Karina
__________________________________________________________________

So I am sitting here, feeding Kara Cheerio after Cheerio, after having already fed her a good-sized jar of Tender Harvest Organic Pear and Wild Blueberry puree' mixed in a bowl with Earth's Best Organic Whole-grain Oatmeal.

Basically what I'm trying to say here is that she's eating quite well, and she's eating a lot.

This is a good thing for a baby when it's 9 p.m. and her bedtime is about an hour past. That means she's likely to go for a longer time tonight without needing to wake up to eat.

That's always a bonus, when Mommy is the "lunch wagon". (Read: I breastfeed.)

However, it also brings up a great question:

How much food is enough, anyway?

Since getting home from California, I have had a headache nearly every single day. I am trying to track the reasons, but I think it's a combination of lack of sleep (staying up too late and once again being the sole caretaker for Maddy and Kara since Kent went to GenCon), combined with either not eating enough protein, or not eating enough, period.

I aim to take in 1800-2000 calories per day (trying to stay closer to 1800), but sometimes I go a little under because of being busy with the girls. This makes me wonder if lack of food is causing the headaches.

There is a lot of research into this topic. One of my favorite sites, the Calories Per Hour website, gives you a calculator to figure out how many calories you're supposed to eat.

But if you are trying to lose weight, or are breastfeeding (like me), or have a depressed metabolism because of previous dieting or other health issues, then that calculator could be WAY off.

Oh...if you're concerned about my losing weight and breastfeeding, read the "Side note" in purple at the bottom of this blog.

So, to go back to it, right now, I am concerned about how much I'm eating.

I know, I know--don't tamper with success. To have lost about 100 pounds, I obviously must have pegged the right balance of number of calories and exercise, at least for me.

But it still begs the question: have I so screwed up my metabolism from years of yo-yoing and diet nightmares that an extra piece of bread from my favorite bakery, When Pigs Fly, is going to depth-charge my weight-loss efforts for the day?

And for me, for the optimal balance of energy and weight loss, how much is enough, anyway?

When Maddy was born, I saw a clever ad that had a baby with a little booklet attached, and it said, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if they came with an instruction manual?"

I couldn't agree more. I wish I had an instruction manual that said, "Feed 1800 calories daily". I could then simply relax. I already make the right food choices--lean proteins, high-quality carbs (whole grains), good healthy unsaturated fats, lots of salmon and walnuts and so forth--but then I would know for sure how much of each of those things I should eat, and whether it would be a good idea to have that extra piece of bread or chocolate after all.

Basically, I could stop obsessing about calories, and just live.

Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen, in their book, YOU: On a Diet, say that you shouldn't count calories anyway. They have a basic eating plan that I could follow, that should provide everything I need. But I like to improvise. Sometimes I start out the day planning to have salad for dinner, and end up with a nice little piece of salmon. I do sometimes cook based on what I find fresh at my grocery store.

I also have a deathly fear of letting go of my calorie counts. It's been such a wildly successful tool for me, that I am afraid not logging everything I eat means I will "forget" that piece of See's chocolate I ate after lunch, and will end up going overboard.

And I love chocolate too much to give THAT up, too.

So I continue to obsess about eating enough.

But at the same time, I don't want to eat too little.

As a teenager, I once told my mother-in-law (before I married her son!) that I was on a diet of 1,000 calories. She gently asked me if I thought that was too little. I wish she'd whacked me upside the head and said, "What are you doing, you're going to destroy your metabolism!"

To her credit, she is a very tactful woman and would NEVER whack me upside the head, much as she might like to!

In fact, just tonight at Barnes & Noble, I read something that said that the starvation defense kicks in at just under 1200 calories. So drop to 1199 and your metabolism goes into "sleep" mode, to ensure that you don't starve to death.

Needless to say, that 1,000 calorie foray was a recipe for disaster. I not only couldn't keep it up, but I also put my metabolism to sleep at the same time.

Eating enough is SO not an issue most of the time, at least not when I'm the sole caretaker for both girls. I don't think I could eat only 1200 calories even if someone said I'd be guaranteed to win the lottery. I like food too much.

Forgetting to eat has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but I have done it a few times these past few days.

I know. "Stupidest" isn't a word. But it felt right in that sentence, regardless.

(Sigh)

So yes, this is a lot of obsessing, perhaps, but really, that's part of recovery--the insecurity of whether what I'm doing is in my best health interests, or whether I'm going to be throwing myself into a tailspin when it comes to my recovery.

All of which means that on occasion, I go into a self-serving obsessive rant over whether what I'm doing is the "right" thing, past successes notwithstanding.

If you think this is bad, you should have seen me in April. I had to reread YOU: On a Diet three different times to prove to myself that this is physiological, and that the God of Weighloss did not have me on her Hit List.

Meanwhile, what I would love, love, LOVE to do is what they did for Oprah one day on her show this year, when they took a group of women to the Miraval spa. The women got a metabolism test that told them exactly how many calories they should eat. Each woman was individual--I remember being bummed for Oprah that Gayle King got to eat more than Oprah did!

And I also remember being surprised that the number seemed to be a lot lower than mine, at least based on what I've gotten off the internet. If I remember, Oprah's metabolic rate was around 1400 calories or so. I obviously don't know if that was the basal metabolic rate and needed to be ramped up for her activity level or not, but once again, the calorie count got me wondering how much is enough.

Oh. I would also like to go to Miraval Spa "just because". LOL. The metabolic testing would just be icing on the relaxation cake!

So until I find some way to get the metabolic testing for myself, I will plug along and do the best I can.

And after losing a hundred pounds, I'd say that's not half bad!

Have a good day!

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway
______________________________________________________________
Side note:
Before anyone freaks about the breastfeeding, you need to know that I am the "ask for permission" type of person, and I follow orders pretty much to the letter. So you can bet that I definitely asked my doctor's permission to try losing weight while breastfeeding, and he gave me his blessing. He said I needed to be sure not to lose "too fast", because toxins you have taken in over the years (pesticides, mercury, and so forth) are stored in the body's fat, and if you lose too much fat too fast, the baby gets a dose of those toxins. It made sense to me, and I've averaged something like 1.7 pounds per week over the months--a perfect amount.

My doctor also said to eat healthy and take my vitamins, but that I should go ahead and take advantage of the breastfeeding calorie burn. He said the baby is "a lovely little parasite" and that she'd get all she needed from me automatically. He said I wouldn't hurt her by the choices I made in eating, and that the reason I needed to eat healthy was to keep my own body running properly.

Did I tell you that I love my doctor? Or that he loves me because of what my eating and exercise have done to my blood pressure and cholesterol levels--affording him a perfect example of "diet and exercise can change your life"??

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The "Century Mark"

2007-08-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

I did it!!! :D

Today, I went downstairs and, as per usual, jumped on the scale to check in.

It read 158.6--which means that, as of today, Sunday August 19, 2007, I have lost 101 pounds.

Wooooooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words can't describe how I feel! My written goal (remember: I write every goal down) was to cross the 100 pound threshhold, or the "Century Mark", by September 1. And although I wasn't starving myself or over-exercising to get there artificially, I still managed to do it with over a week to spare.

It has been a long, long time since I last saw this weight. It was 1989, to be exact. I came home from a summer in Italy, got engaged, stopped all my walking and started eating, and I never really stopped.

In fact, for YEARS I lied about my weight on my driver's license. The license said 170, even when I was 259. Now, my weight is a lie again--but this time, on the happy side!

When Kent called in from GenCon to say HI, I told him about having broken the 100 pound mark, and he was so excited and proud for me! He said he had good news too, "But not as good as" mine, that he'd come in 12th overall in the big 7-hour gaming event they had last night. He was really proud of himself, to be up against the best gamers in the country, and come in 12th for the 2nd year running. I was happy for him too, but he was so excited on my behalf.

Now, you'd think I would want to go out and buy new clothes to celebrate. Well, remember, I've been hitting the shops (eBay, consignment, sales) so I am not destitute in the apparel department. However, there's yet another reason I don't need to hit the shops--the shops came to me!

You see, the girls' Godmother, "Auntie Sue", came up for a girls'-only weekend while Kent was gone, and she came up with a ton of clothes for me to borrow from her own closet. She has a LOT of clothes, far more than I think I've ever owned, and best yet, she has great taste.

There are some of the cutest little dresses (sheath-type) that I could have never worn before--I used to be really heavy on bottom and narrow on top, even when I was thinner...somehow my body shape changed! And boy, they look so good. There are suits, sweaters, pants, and this killer pantsuit that is a size 8 that I can't quite wear (yet), but I vow to, it's so pretty.

There's even a Laura-Ashley white sleeveless sheath dress that is a bit tight in the bodice, but after Kara is weaned, I think that'll fit properly. A few more pounds lost will help too. It's SO cute and sexy at the same time. I always wanted to wear Laura Ashley clothes, but I was too heavy.

So far, I've gone through all the non-boxed stuff, and I still have three huge tubs of clothes to go through. It's like my own little personal shopping session in my own home.

Now I need to get a full-length mirror for myself. Pathetically, I had to borrow my 7-year-old's mirror to see how things fit. LOL!

Today's weigh-in is not what I consider "official", only because my "official" weigh-in is always Monday. I'm not sure why I chose Monday. I used to chose Friday because that meant I could eat like mad all weekend and still starve myself up for Friday's weigh-in--cheating, to be sure. But I love Monday weigh-ins, although my Mother-In-Law and best friend (Pam) think I'm nuts because I have to weigh myself wearing blue jeans.

I know, I know. If I wear blue jeans, I'll weigh more. The goal isn't to weigh myself naked--because at my doctor's office, I wouldn't be naked either. I want to weigh myself wearing as close to the clothing I'd wear for an appointment as I can. That usually means jeans and a top; therefore, I wear jeans for my Monday weigh-ins. Otherwise I always add one pound to account for the extra weight when I weigh myself daily at home.

Yes, that means my scale ACTUALLY read 157.6 this morning. I added the pound for the jeans.

And that is why my MIL and Pam think I'm nuts. :D

Why do I weigh myself daily when Weight Watchers says to do it weekly? I learned that the daily weigh-in helps keep me honest. The weight, being front and center, is my motivation to eat well that day.

And being a Recovering Obesian (whatever you call Obese people) means that I really do take things one day at a time, just like a recovering alcoholic. If I screw up one day, well that was one day out of my life. I acknowledge it, and try to figure out what happened (usually stress or tiredness, although occasionally it's a choice to overeat--and I allow that).

Then I move on. That's the critical part.

I also don't think, "Well I screwed up today, I might as well really screw up, I'm such a loser". I used to do that but I've learned that each day is its own opportunity, and I make of that what I can.

So yeah, here I am, 101 pounds lighter, and a ton of clothes waiting for me to try them on. The baby is asleep, Maddy and Auntie Sue are watching "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" (because Maddy just finished reading the book--she can watch the movie after she's read the book), and I have NOTHING to do but dishes from last night's lobster fest (lobster, steamer clams, corn and a potato) and try on the clothes.

Oh, and I need to start writing to Oprah. Her show is looking for people who lost a lot of weight. I think I qualify (although I'm still in the process, and am not in "maintenance" yet).

Well, anyway...between the dishes and the clothes, guess which one I'm going to do?? :D

Have a fabulous day!

--Karina

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

The Freedom to Tri

2007-08-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I misspelled "Try".

Actually I didn't.

What today's blog is about is FREEDOM. We don't think about freedom, other than freedom from worry or freedom from terrorism. But there are other freedoms too, which I didn't enjoy in my previous life as a morbidly obese woman.

The joyful part of this journey into overcoming obesity is that I have gained a new measure of freedom in my life.

I have the freedom to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I do not limit myself, ever, on any foods that I eat. I learned that being free to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, means that I am not afraid of food. I do not demonize it, or put it on a pedestal. Food is food. That's all there is to it. Lettuce is not more virtuous than chocolate, and a Starbuck's Mocha is not more deadly than a cup of decaf tea. To continue to lose weight, if I have these other things, I just fit them into my day by balancing out the calories over the rest of the day or, if necessary, the rest of the week.

Oh, and one more freedom that I have about food is that I can feel comfortable eating anything in front of anyone, without wondering if people around me are judging me on what I eat and thinking unkind thoughts.

That's something that plus-sized women think about. At least, I did.

Another freedom I have is the freedom to wear pretty clothes. I am not relegated to the Women's section of Macy's which, oddly enough, is like being relegated to the back of the bus. If you want to see what I mean, go to the Macy's flagship store in Herald Square in New York. I do not think you can get any higher up or any further back in the store than the Women's section. It's on the 7th floor, and if you enter from Herald Square (as most people seem to), you have to pass through all the other departments on that floor to get to it. I wrote a whole blog yesterday about clothes, so I won't go on. But that freedom to buy clothes anywhere, and on sale, is one of the best and most unanticipated bonuses of this entire journey.

I also have the freedom to exercise without feeling uncomfortable or ungainly. I can go out and run, as I did today, and if I feel like I want to keep going, I can, without a lot of huffing and puffing (unless I'm going uphill, of course). I can push myself to go further and further, and improve, and it doesn't hurt my lungs or hurt my legs or hurt my chest. I don't get headaches and I don't feel like I'm trying to move lead. Of course, after running my first half marathon, I might feel like I'm made of lead, but that's simply because I'll be pushing myself beyond my new limits. The old obese me had such low limits that any exercise at all brought such misery. Even walking a mile with friends on the school track had me puffing so hard I thought I'd have to stop. Yet today, I ran 1.6 miles, then after a .2 mile walk, I ran another mile. Maybe that's not much to some people, but considering that before this summer, the last time I ran a mile was junior high, we have some serious breakthrough here.

Another freedom I have is the Freedom to Tri.

Ah yes. The misspelling that isn't.

"The Freedom to Tri" means that I have such health, I am going to try new adventures.

Like a Triathlon.

You may have read that blog, about my upcoming races. What this blog is about is that recovering from obesity, to me, means that I have been able to get out and do things, like the 5K I jogged and walked back in June, or the kayaking I did last weekend, or the Triathlon I'm going to run in September.

You see, this to me is the most important freedom of all. The freedom to Try (Tri). The freedom to take on new adventures. The freedom to get out and be active in all the fun ways I wanted to be before, but didn't have the health to actually do.

As I mentioned, this past weekend I actually went on a Walk-On Adventure offered by L.L.Bean. These are walk-up-and-go-as-you-are physical activities that cost $15, and run anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours. L.L. Bean provides all the equipment you need, and then gives you introductory lessons, so that you can go out and actually do the things you've always wanted to try.

So I decided, in honor of my 97 pounds lost, I was going to go kayaking. Almost two years ago, when I was at my heaviest, I tried to get into a friend's kayak up at Sebago Lake. I fell out twice and never attempted it again. This time, however, I was bound and determined to get out there in a kayak.

I was nervous, sure. I explained my lack of experience, and the guides laughed and told me not to worry, these were more stable "recreational" kayaks, and that they'd get me into the kayak on the dock and then simply slide me into the water anyway--no possibility of falling over trying to get in.

So Kent took the girls to Borders, and off I went. I got my "personal floatation device" (no longer needing the largest they had), paid careful attention as they described the paddle strokes and how to turn, slow down and stop, and then it was time to get in the kayak.

No joke. They literally did slide me backwards down a ramp from the dock right into the water. And aside from a bit of a wiggle when I got in, I was very stable.

I was so excited! It felt a bit unwieldy at first, as I tried to get out of the way of the other dozen kayakers and two guides. I even bumped someone at one point, and the guide just laughed and said the kayaks came equipped with magnets and they attracted each other.

But pretty soon, I got the hang of it. When someone dodged in front of me, I quickly backstroked to stop. When we needed to wait for others, I was able to quickly "turn on a dime" to watch for them. And when the guide told us to head out toward the channel, I was off.

I wish I could convey the excitement of being out on the water in my own kayak. Half the fun was being with other people in their kayaks...sort of like biking, but not having to stick to "our lane of traffic". We meandered, we zig-zagged, some of us went faster and some slower.

Our male guide was fantastic--he knew the history of this part of the Harrasseeket River, and told us stories about the castle turret we saw, and pointed out good restaurants to try. He showed us Osprey and had us watch as one fluttered, hovering in place, before diving for something it saw in the water. He pointed out the flock of Canada Geese--not that we needed pointing, they are unbelievably noisy as they go past overhead. And he looked for but didn't see the resident Bald Eagle.

We chatted with people in boats, hanging out on the River, and ended up going into an area that was too shallow for other boats, very close to the geese. Our paddles hit bottom, but we glided on.

And the gliding was so incredible. Sure, I worked for it, paddling this side and that, but the sensation was so smooth, so sure, and so free, that I didn't mind the work I was doing. The breeze off the surface of the water kept us cool, and I had a bottle of water to drink while we were out.

Who knew that kayaks come equipped with a water bottle holder tucked between the knees?

The hour and a half we spent on the water was over too fast. We glided back to the dock, and I was able to quickly zip over to the far side of the dock and line myself up properly to help them pull us out--again, no ungainly trying to get in and out of the kayak, so no chance I could fall in.

I would love to have a kayak, but I also recognize that, as I mentioned before, half the fun of the kayaking was being out on the water with other people. I think I would enjoy solo kayaking, but if I was going to be out on my own, I think I'd almost rather do some serious rowing, like sculling.

I've always wanted to try that, too. Maybe there's someplace in Boston I can go to give it a tri...er, a try??

Have a great evening. Go out and do something!

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

SCORE!!!!!!!!! GOALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

No, I am not referring to the recent appearance of David Beckham, sans shirt, on the LA Galaxy.

I am referring to the nice little suit I bought this weekend.

It's my new Goal.

David Beckham has nothing to do with it. But I know that his wife, Victoria Beckham (formerly Posh Spice) would TOTALLY approve.

Let me digress.

I started this weight-loss journey at 259.6 pounds, as I have mentioned in a previous blog or two. After months and months of moving and eating properly, I have wound my way down to a new low of 162.5.

I am beyond psyched! Not just at the number, but at the ease of movement and the MUSCLES that have come as a direct result!

The other reason I am psyched is that I have discovered that I have moved far, far, and even more far from my former perception of fashion as being "pointless" and "too expensive".

I LOVE CLOTHES.

Oh God. OK. That is probably the single most Paris-Hilton-like statement I have EVER made in my life. But oh my gosh! I have a figure!

(And, as I told Kent...I know how to use it!!)

So I have been having the best time, not just buying new clothes, but finding clothes that are cute AND completely, totally inexpensive.

It started with moving beyond my former "skinny" jeans that were size 16 "Elizabeth" jeans from the Liz Claiborne for Women line.

I became a size 14, and suddenly I needed new jeans. I went to the Elizabeth outlet at Kittery, Maine, where I always bought my jeans, and found to my delight that size 14 was as small as they went.

This became my new goal: move out of Elizabeth clothing. Not only did I want to be a 12, I wanted to wear a size medium as well.

My goals all along have been the next ten pound increment (as measured by breaking into the nines--like 229, 219, 209, 199, and so forth), and the next size down in clothing.

I ALWAYS write my goals down. I found a long time ago that if you write it down, you make it real. I have found that every goal I've written (except the most recent), I have met.

Every one.

So my goal when I hit 14 was to get to a 12, and to move from a Large to a Medium. And when I did, I vowed to find a way to buy some cute clothes, despite being a stay-at-home-mom with little income.

Size 12 occurred this past June, just before we headed to California. To my surprise, the Medium came with it.

So cool!

So I bought some great $19 "Adirondack" jeans from L.L. Bean (which were wicked soft and comfy), and a cute white pima cotton shirt for $16, both of which ended up being free because I had coupons worth $40 for L.L. Bean. I found some new shirts on clearance at Macy's, and I also got a size 12 cute blue-with-white-polka-dots skirt and some khakis when the New York & Co store at my local mall went out of business. Those I got at 75% off, so they were each around $7.

I wore those clothes all summer, and boy I felt great!

But an odd thing happened. Of course, being in 12s and Mediums meant my next written goal was 10s and smalls.

And guess what happened in California?

I may not have budged past 165 the last three weeks I was there, but my size changed. I went from a 12 to a 10, and from a Medium to a small.

I am a small.

Oh.

My.

God.

WHAT a shock!

I celebrated by going to Target and splurging by spending $20 to buy a cute khaki skirt in a size 10, and then I also got a couple shirts (Mossimo striped polo, that was a size Large because that line is very tight, marked down to $2.50 on the sale rack, and a small white short-sleeved sweater marked down to $5 and change, also on the sale rack).

I also had to buy a belt for my 12 Khakis that no longer stayed up on their own. Marked down to $3.50 on the sale rack.

The other surprise about being a smaller size--there are lots of options for sale clothing on those perennial sales racks in stores like Target!

Cool.

I cannot go any further than Small, but I did make a new goal: Size 8.

And my inspiration?

That suit I bought...

I have discovered that not all clothes are available at malls. There is Target, and its sales racks; there are outlet malls (of which we have several in Maine); and, there are secondary sites, like eBay-types and consignment stores, all of which have some really killer deals, especially if you are a size small.

Like the suit I bought.

In a size 8.

So what kind of suit is it?

It's beautiful. Red, I think it's a wool blend because it's a warmer suit. The jacket is so cool, it has a little swishy skirty-like bottom to it, and the skirt is a "pencil" skirt that flows over the hips and hugs the legs and makes you look like a total Diva.

And it's a size 8. I can put it on, but I cannot quite button it up yet, but I vow to.

Because I got it for $10.

And it's a Christian Dior.

Oh.

My.

God.

I got a CHRISTIAN DIOR "The Suit" for $10!!!

I could not believe it when I stumbled across it.

Do NOT ask me where. I won't tell. ;) That's my secret.

But it made me think, perhaps there is another one out there somewhere?

Score #2 this past Tuesday:

A Christian Dior suit jacket (sadly, no skirt), but the jacket is super long, below the hips, and it's a more traditional suit fabric. Black, and beautiful...and I look like I have Sophia Loren's body in it. I mean, I have these beautiful, sexy-as-hell curves that would make J.Lo jealous!

And it's already my size!

It would look totally killer with a long, pleated, wide skirt. I didn't find one of those, at least one that even came close to someday fitting me. I could also wear it witha pair of tan pleated trousers, which I already have. It actually even looked totally awesome with my khaki shorts.

And I got that jacket for less than $7.

I also got another pair of L.L.Bean jeans, a pair of Calvin Klein jeans (OH MY GOD, Calvin Klein??), a United Colors of Benetton suit jacket in a dark slate blue, and a really killer leather cropped jacket that looks all worn in and has a neat brass-buckled belt on it, which looks like something Angelina Jolie would wear (not that I even LIKE her, but it's that type, sexy and feminine but edgy, like I'm about to leap on a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14!). The brand name on that jacket is "Compagnie Internationale EXPRESS" (in a size small), not that I even know what that brand is.

Oh and I also got a pair of Aeropostale khaki pants as well.

I got some other stuff but those were the highlights.

The cost? Everything was less than $15 each. Even the jacket.

Beautiful clothes are so much fun, and these consignment shops are such a blast. You can find some amazing things if you spend the time to look. And I am a hunter. I have developed into one after almost two decades as a morbidly obese woman, because if you are that size, you HAVE to hunt to find things that not only fit, but look presentable.

Now, I can look more than presentable.

So watch out, new goal. I have a hot little red Christian Dior that has my name on it.

Have a fabulous evening, and remember:

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe." - Anatole France

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!

Am I out of my mind???

2007-08-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well I have done it now.

I haven't written in a while. Boy did I foul this blog up. I meant to write all summer, but something about being 3,000+ miles from home with my two girls (hubby Kent was at home) meant that I did very little writing. I have been working on a book about my experiences, too, and while I did a little work on it, that's about all I did.

The rest of the time, I was walking and jogging and running up hills three times a week, and visiting with family, swimming at the River House (in Willow Creek), eating lots of veggies and fruits and generally moving my way down to a new low of 165.

I then sat at that 165 mark for three weeks. I've since moved lower, 162.5 on my last weigh-in two days ago, but considering my hubby thought I would gain weight while in California (thanks to my Mom's great cooking), I think I did OK.

So back to how I started the blog: Now I've done it. I am out of my mind.

What, pray tell, have I done?

I have signed up for not ONE but TWO big races.

On consecutive weekends.

To be held in just over six weeks.

Yup. I am signed up for the Women's Only Half Marathon in York, Maine on September 23, and I am also signed up for a Sprint Triathlon at Cape Elizabeth, Maine on September 30.

And in a small bid toward mentally preparing for those, I am signed up as a volunteer to mark numbers on triathletes (LEGS and ARMS ONLY, PEOPLE!!!) at the West Kennebunk FireMan Sprint Triathlon on August 26. The idea is that I can mark triathletes, and when they're in the water, I get to go watch how they do the swim-bike and bike-run transitions, and hopefully learn how the heck I'm going to get out of a swimsuit and into my running gear (which is also going to be my biking gear).

Good plan, eh? :D

Anyway, for those of you who don't know, a Half Marathon is just that--13 miles. And it's "walker-friendly" although if you intend to jog at all, you have to sign up as a runner, which is what I've done.

AND, for those who also don't know (as I didn't), a "Sprint Triathlon" is a short, non-Ironman-distance triathlon comprising an approximately 450 yard swim (in my case, in a swimming pool..thank God no wetsuits!), a 15-mile bike ride, and a 5K run.

I have always wanted to do a triathlon. I would LOVE to someday do the Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii, but I realize that I have many years to go before I can manage that...and probably it won't happen at least until the baby is in her teens. Or near enough anyway. And by then I'll be in my ... ergh ... 60s!!!!!!

Oh God. I just got depressed.

Anyway, I have always wanted to do a triathlon. When I weighed 259.6 pounds, that was a far-flung dream. But last week, I got a shot of "I-Can-Do-This" when I decided to do my little walk/jog routine from Kennebunkport all the way to my in-law's condo in Kennebunk, and did it in record (for me) time.

How far is it? It's a "nice" little 7.6 mile distance, if you go through Dock Square, which I chose to do.

I was secretly hoping I could manage it in 90 minutes. I did, however, stop several times for about 7-8 minutes to talk to people I knew along the way, and made it in 97 minutes. So if you don't count the stop times, I made it in 90. My actual speed in movement was about 12 minutes per mile...not bad, especially considering that last January, I couldn't even WALK for 30 minutes on a treadmill.

That made me so excited, I started looking around for another race. "Another" because back in June, Maddy and I did the York Hospital 5K run, and we weren't even the last ones in (although an 80-year-old man beat us quite handily).

So now that I can walk and jog with a jogging stroller for 90 minutes, and still have energy when I'm done, I suddenly start thinking "half-marathon", "marathon", and "triathlon"!

I have well and truly lost my ever-loving mind.

Still...you gotta admit. This has truly been an amazing journey.

So now here I am, and I have these two major races coming up. However, I am also actively pursuing employment. No more teaching for me! I am DONE. I turned in two applications today, one for a receptionist job that I really, really want (with an ad agency in Portland), and one for a copy editor for a magazine, which I would also like to do. I think it'd be fun.

The receptionist job looks great...reception's the main duty but I'd be a backup for the clerical, all of which is easily doable. I spent almost 10 years as a secretary so it sounds like a nice, low-stress (in terms of ability) job.

That means that it's likely that I'll be training and working full-time at the same time. At least for the next month or so. But I can do it! I already figured out how I can do my usual routine at the club, of elliptical trainer on cardio setting (143 beats per minute on the heart for 30 minutes just about kills me...but it's done wonders for my stamina) and my weight machine rounds. I can do them separately, instead of all at the same visit, and alternate them most mornings (6x per week). The amount of time I need is 30-45 minutes per day, plus another 15 to shower and dress, so if I left the house at 6ish, I could do my routine and still get to work on time, assuming it starts at 8.

Of course, the running/swimming/biking will have to be done after work, but Kent will support me. He has already said as much and added how proud of me he is.

So I am completely out of my mind. It will be interesting to see how this goes, not just exercise-wise, but time- and weight-loss-wise at the same time.

I have other news to write, but it doesn't belong on this blog. I'll add another one.

Have a great evening. And remember:

“Blessed are the flexible for they shall never be bent out of shape.” – Ancient Xterra Tribe Race Director Proverb

__________________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: Look, I'm not a doctor. However, I am a teacher certified in both California and Maine to teach science curriculum, including the human body (and health/nutrition) to kids in grades K-8. This blog is my attempt to wade through the current thinking on weight loss, and to present it in a way that makes sense to everyone. As a woman who is successfully recovering from obesity herself, I feel it's even more important to help others understand what I did to lose the weight; what worked, what didn't, and what the struggle has been like as I went from morbid obesity to fitness. It doesn't mean that I have all the answers, however. If you want to lose weight, by all means, read my blog--I think I can provide some help and clarity. BUT, please know that I am NOT a medical expert, and you should most definitely consult with your own doctor or family physician before undertaking any weight loss efforts yourself. Weight loss is a personal journey. I'm making mine visible to the world, but each of us has to take our own steps with our own doctor's guidance; please make sure you check in with yours before you try to do anything I have done. Good luck and God bless!